
A retromedia special from Fred Olan Ray, I first caught ‘Super Ninja Doll’ in the small wee hours of a booze filled haze about 5 years ago while digging deep into ‘Full Moon Features’ streaming service. And, as I didnt really write ‘text only’ reviews back then, this one got logged, but not talked about. Then it dropped off of Full Moons services, fell into relative obscurity, and is now apparently on Bluray as a double feature set paired with another Christine Nguyen feature…But I dont have the volition to drop over $30 on THAT…so I had my sources hook me up.
Really; there isnt much to this one. Its a ‘Skinimax’/’Up All Night’ style softcore flick thats attempting to parody ‘Magical Girl’ anime series and comic book/sci fi movies more generally. Nguyen plays ‘Miracle’ a college age school girl with a vivid imagination, who’s on the verge of being suspended due to her ducking class to go buy and read comic books. The teachers have had enough and tell her to buck her ideas up. But Miracle is OBSESSED with comics, and in particular one strip called ‘Super Ninja Doll’. Which is a comic about a woman who can transform into a super powered magical defender of earth, and gains her powers (and gets stronger) by having LOTS of sex…
While this is being established, an evil alien race have set their sights on earth, with the aim of conquering it and using it for materials. This evil alien race ALSO gain powers and recharge by having LOTS of sex…So far so porny.
Anyway; after 2 Softcore scenes involving the evil aliens, and a softcore scene involving Miracle and a fellow classmate where they explain the premise of the ‘Super Ninja Doll’. The evil empresses henchman ‘Gorath’ descends to earth to have sex with a top scientist whos got amnesia, before trapping her in a comic book. The same coming book that Miracle was reading! and on arriving home, she finds a live action naked lady begging to be let out trapped in the pages. On passing out she meets ‘Super Ninja Doll’ who tells her shes going to have to call on her to defend the earth and fight Gorath.
Miracle goes to a supernatural science headquarters who validate her story and send her to go protect Goraths next victim. aaaand from there it basically turns into a battle between good and evil…and about 30 more minutes of softcore.
I find softcore kind of pointless if im being honest, half hearted softcore even more so. And as such, I feel like if a movie IS going to go down that route, it really has got to have something else working for it to go in its favour. ‘Super Ninja Doll’ just about manages to get itself over the line with me…but its absolute bare minimum territory.
The scripts actually probably the best part of this thing, the plotting is upbeat, hyperactive, a bit manic in places and does have a real ‘tongue in cheek’ self awarness to it…There isnt MUCH of a script to work with, but whats here is fine enough fun with some half decent lines for a ‘softly from cable’ production, and the general campy vibes I felt were quite endearing. This is pantomime for the most part, but I feel if your in the headspace for that kind of thing, you might end up having a half decent time with it.
AT 77 minutes long, the pacings a little uneven, the non sex segments of the film move at a good clip and just about do the job. But the softcore sequences really drag, not helped by multiple instances where they’ll use a cut as a cover to run the same take twice, just from different angles. I know they did it for paddings sake, but it really drags the vibes of the film down, especially as they arnt even particularly well handled softcore scenes.
The characters are 2 dimensional by design, so that works in the films favour. Overall; it has a decent tone and vibe to it. But its very stop start and never quite manages to fully deliver what its promising.
The direction is quite flat too. the non softcore scenes have a bit more life behind the eyes, with a clear vision. But with the promise of this being ‘Live action Anime for Adults’ it really doesnt meet that brief, instead; it feels like very low budget ‘Direct to video’ softcore for most of the runtime because…thats basically what it is.
The softcore scenes themselves are relatively poor quality. badly framed for the most part with no real thought put into how to make them look interesting or feel a bit more sensual. its very much just wide shot, mid shot, panning close up, mid shot, wide shot, rinse repeat for 8-12 minutes at a time. Which I think is a shame really,and kind of confusing, as they got some pretty well known Hardcore actors to appear in this movie (Evan Stone, Kitty Katsu, Syren, Nicole Sheriden and of course Nguyen herself).
I feel like a harder cut with a bit more shot variety may have made up for what is offered here. the scenes feel cramped, drab and lacklustre…rushed too. The rhythms are a bit off, and its hard to appreciate a softcore production that doesnt so much ‘set the mood’ more completely crash into it.
The cine is basic for the most part, again no real abstract thought put into sequence setups or shot types, the edit is fairly rough with some heavy greenscreen usage in places (which I actually thought was quite funny and used to VERY ‘mid’ effect) the edits rough around the edges, but at least (barring when they repeat a shot from a slightly different angle) it’s coherent and tells the story as simply as possible.
Performances are kind of subjective here, everyones being told to play big, cartoonish or comedic. And everyone does just that! Your milage may vary depending on whether you can tolerate that kind of nonsense. But for me Evan Stone and Christine Nguyen steal the show, delivering absolutely hamtastic performances when they’re not rutting that made them actually pretty watchable. The fact that they at least attempt to carry those campy performances into the sex scenes, really only makes me want to applaud them more.
And as for the soundtrack? given its supposed to be a ‘magical girl’ anime type picture…they chose to score this mainly with MIDI ‘Surf rock’ and occasional ‘Sci-fi’ sounding library tracks…it feels quite out of place for the tone they want to set. But hey, this was designed to air at 2am on some god foresaken cable channel to give the stoners and drunks something to ‘aspire’ to. I dont think they were considering linear consistency.
Ultimatley; ‘Super Ninja Doll’ is a quirky softcore flick. but a somewhat drab one at that. i’d honestly prefer a non softcore version of the film that was just the ‘story’ elements cut together because I think that would make for a somewhat surreal 30 minute ‘pilot’. Given its relative obscurity these days, I cant say its worth actively hunting down. But it does pop up on streaming services in various cuts now and then. if its 2am and your on your 5th beer…im sure you could do worse.
source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/super-ninja-doll/1/







