
The first 'spin off' film from the 'Conjuring' franchise is pretty much the definition of 'Did we REALLY need this?' as we get a prequel that partially explains how 'Annabelle' a possessed Doll came to be trapped in a glass case in the basement of the Warrens house…Its…its not as interesting as you'd expect.
The core plot revolves around Mia and John, a good wholesome happy couple who are expecting their first born child…when…im GUESSING (its never firmly confirmed) 2 members of the 'Manson family' break into their house, stabs Mia in the stomach, murders their neighbours and beats up John. The cult members are ultimately killed via a mixture of police gunfire and a suicide. But the event shakes Mia to her core.
The pair are relieved to find out their baby has survived the incident, but Mia is told to essentially spend the rest of her pregnancy in bed. But while that works out for a while…eventually she begins to notice strange goings on around the home, items moving of their own accord and such…eventually a full on fire breaks out in the place forcing the pair to move into an apartment complex…and the only constant in all of this is a strange doll bought shortly before the home invasion as a gift to Mia, a doll she'd been looking for for a VERY long time. That contains a terrible terrible evil.
When Mia's baby is born, the pair are delighted. But Mias blissful early days of motherhood turn into a nightmare, as the demons that plague the mysterious doll begin a horrifying attack on the family with even worse outcomes for all involved.
The story of the original 'Annabelle' doll isnt really all that interesting (Basically a nurse brought a doll from a second hand store, they then claimed they saw some unusual antics like stuff moving around the apartment. one of their room mates didnt like the vibe it gave off…they spoke to a medium who said a young girl possessed the doll…then one of the room mates claimed the doll or *something* attacked them while they slept. Which bought the Warrens in, who claimed that the doll in fact contained a TERRIBLE demon…and the pair offered to take the doll off their hands for safe keeping…) But that wouldnt make an all that interesting story…so we ended up with a very poorly made, badly handled analogy for post partum depression instead.
Yeah…I really didnt enjoy this one. The plot itself isnt as engaging or interesting as the 'Conjuring' movies, there really wasnt much of a need to do this honestly…the subtext of depression is handled very heavy handedly and doesnt feel satisfying or well done. The characters arnt particularly interesting or well written, the dialogue feels incredibly throw away and seemingly written to get the runtime up past feature runtime and thats about it.
I think the biggest problem this film has is that its just not that fun. It feels like a contractual obligation of a film, rather than something that had earned its chance to exist. It feels like its constantly TRYING to be a horror film. or what ITS interpretation of a horror film should be. and the problem with that is that it ends up resulting in a film that feels simultaineously cliche, NOT scary and frankly a bit beige and by the numbers.
The pacing is glacial, it feels more like a series of short films with the same characters rather than one coherent narrative plot. given its 45 minutes shorter than 'The Conjuring 2' it easily felt longer than any of the Conjuring movies up to this point. Tonally it doesnt feel in line with the other films in the series. Annabelle as a paranormal 'being' isnt scary, barely gets anything to do for most of the runtime…she's just a very dull and uninspiring villain, and absolutely not strong enough to carry this movie…im honestly amazed theres (at least) another 2 of these. I can only assume the folks who unconditionally love this film are the cinematic equivilent of giving a victorian orphan 'Baja Blast'.
The direction feels cheap, again is very cliche and really did nothing for me. its coherent as a studio work. But this really is the very VERY barest of minimums. When I say i've seen low/no budget films look better than this. Im not kidding, and thats BEYOND depressing.
The cine is flat, lifeless, desaturated and bland. I hate to feel like a broken record, but its all very cliched again….the sequences cut together fine enough, and theres a couple of nice moments here and there. But on the whole, its a very boring watch.
The cast are fine…theres no inherently awful performances. But nothing great. they're all just kind of on the level. Unremarkable is about as good as I can describe them, and when I say they're also the best part of the film. I hope that emphasizes how below the standard we are…
throw in a soundtrack that sounds mainly like recycled tracks from a sound library. and we have a film that I would derogatorily compare to a 'Tubi Original' if it wasnt for the fact that i've actually seen Tubi movies that were better put together than this.
I dunno, im not a parent, maybe if you are, you'll get more out of this than I did…But i'll be honest, I spent a big chunk of this drumming my fingers waiting for it to be over…which took a LOT longer than I expected. I cant recommend this one, its really not worth your time, and it'll be a good while before I give this one a second chance.







