Robot in the Family (A Robot Called Golddigger) (1993)

Theres not really a lot more that I can say about this movie that I havent already said in either the 100 or so minute commentary myself and my friends did for this series or the below review. This film broke me and then remoulded me into a harder more analytical man. And I dont think I can ever truly go home again.

What I will say is that if you do choose to watch this (And if your into Bad and cult films I definitely recommend you do) dont say I didnt warn you. it’s one of the strangest and most unusual films I have ever sat through.

Poster is Shit. Says nothing about the actual film. Golddigger is love.

Truck Turner (1974)

So! We’re back! Season 8 non the less! and let me tell you now. Im pretty bloody exhausted. Having spent the entire summer pretty much backing and forthing with renovations and builders (A blog on that will be on the way shortly) I finally got the media room up and running and decided to finally get going on exporting all the season 8 episodes i’d worked on (8 epiosdes) ready to schedule in, upload and forget about.

Life had other ideas. Basically; my harddrive decided to die. Normally this would be devestating as, because I was planning to do backups once things were back up and running, to switch my harddrive on and find it’d basically died BEFORE I could back anything up. meant I’d effectively lost 2-3 months work with 1 week to launch day.

That at least WOULD have been the case if someone hadnt clearly been sent to “Guardian Angel” me. y’see…while I’d lost the original exports, I did still have partial access to the drive. I could view everything on there and I could even transfer off some of the small (KB) files and VERY mercifully for me, I’d saved not only all the original Premiere pro edit files for all the episodes i’d worked on, but i’d also saved *almost* all the raw elements that made up the edit. So I simply bought a new drive, migrated all the raw elements over (It still took nearly 2 days to do that) and then on the new, fully working drive, re-exported all the video files from there. *Boom!* I was back up and in business…there were a couple of minor losses. any episode that used VHS footage predominantly had to be recaptured back in and adjusted so the cuts all matched and there were one or two raw .jpg’s and .png’s that i’d misplaced during the transfer which meant I had to do a couple of substitutes. But yeh; everythings pretty much back on track.

Ultimately; I lost about 3-4 days of editing time due to this harddrive error, but considering I could have literally lost everything I could myself exceedingly lucky. ladies and gents. im normally a very careful man when it comes to backups. and the story that happened here should be a warning to each and every one of you. ALWAYS. MAKE. BACKUPS. because next time, you may not be as lucky as I was.

ANYWAY!; New season! season 8! it’s a shorter run due simply to a mixture of the renovation work overrunning and the harddrive failure. it was originally planned as an 18 episode run + a collab. thats now been knocked down to a 16 episode run and im not 100% sure about the collaboration. But we’ve still got plenty in store to take you all the way from now until the end of December! So put on your dancing trousers and get down to the totally and utter king of funk and soul “Isaac Hayes”

This is one movie, I CAN dig.

The Original Poster for this is okay. But I personally find it a bit too busy. I much MUCH prefer the 101 films Bluray cover.

The Burning (1981)

So! during this crazy crazy summer we had I decided to wing one more episode out to kind of…wrap the whole season up. Indeed the idea to do a season of “Summercamp Slashers” had been on my mind since I first started making reviews. I liked the idea of seeing through the summer months by setting a tone of “Fun in the sun” style camping, canoeing and killing.

the original plan was to do Sleepaway Camp 1 and 2, The Burning, one of the Friday the 13th movies and maybe throw in a lil curve ball…something like meatballs maybe. But, as the idea grew and the years went by it became more and more apparent that there was more than enough material to just spend a summer at the various sleepaway camp films. But that then created a bit of an issue for “The Burning” now a somewhat orphaned summercamp movie as I’d also decided, if I was ever going to cover the friday the 13th movies, I’d want to do them as a group rather than toss one randomly in here.

So working closely with the most excellent host of the Survivors guilt youtube channel. I decided to loosely bundle it in as a way of capping Season 7 off with a Red Triangle episode, another notch on my “Video Nasties” retrospective and the chance to actually get to the meat and gravy of this one.

I had already briefly spoken about it as part of my “B-movie hall of fame” series not too long ago. but I dont think I really got into the nitty gritty…that series was more “Quick overview > What I thought of it > Next review” type fodder…and as you all should know by now I do like to get fairly bedded in with these reviews.

So! as a nice summer treat and a little bit of a one off. here’s “The Burning” Season 8 has just got underway and theres plenty of weird and wonderful movies to come! but for now I’ve gotta get back to the cutting room. And dont forget to check out Survivors guilt he’s really very good!

(Im really not much for the original poster, But this one commisssioned for the Arrow Video Bluray release is Gorgeous!)

Finishing the Complete Seventh Season (2020)

Season 7 was all in, arguably, one of the most entertaining and fun seasons to work on for me in a while. While Season 6 had the freshness of starting from the ground up to some extent given I’d been on a reletively short hiatus. This season to me, really felt like it had some momentum behind it. The wheels were spinning as early as late October 2019 in writing some of these episodes (My review of “The Warriors” being the first one that made it into the can) but work would continue right up until mid/late march to ensure that everything could be done in time!

For the most part, this season was pretty much decided right from the off…or at least 2/3rds of it were already pre-chosen. Originally “The Warriors” was going to open the season until I saw Cozzi’s “Hercules” about 10-11 episodes into writing for the season and I realised that that would be the PERFECT way to kick off this seasons run. the 4 part “Sleepaway Camp” summer special also came about pretty much at the last minute too, As I’d wanted to do a month on the Sleepaway camp movies pretty much since the 2nd season of theses reviews but could never quite fit them in amongst the other bits and pieces i’d got going on.

Salo: The Musical” was another one that had been in the making for a year or two before I finally decided to pull the trigger. it’s easily one of the most time consuming videos I’ve ever made in relation to it’s length. it may only be a couple of minutes or so long. but I assure you it took damn near a month of solid writing, recording, performing and motion tracking (For reference; the average 15-20 minute review on here generally takes about a week to complete from watching to final upload)

My favourite review of this season? is probably either “The Perils of Gwendolyn in the land of the Yik Yak“, “Salo” or “Return to Sleepaway Camp” all three were total labours of love (And hate) and im So happy with how they turned out as an end result.

All in all, this was just a damn fun season to work on, and while the steam that made up the creative process may have just started to dry burn towards the very end (Try and show me a way to be enthusiastic about having to spend a week with “Return to Sleepaway Camp”) overall; this was a total blast! I met some super interesting people over the last few months including the team over at Mutantfam.com who’ve recently agreed to host my work in an affiliated capacity. The Guys over at “Survivors Guilt“,”Video Creep“, “The Channel 83 Podcast” (Who were a top bunch of lads and had me on there show!) “The Best Little Horror House in Philly” and GG over at the “Midnight Movie Monster” Blog! Not only have they helped keep this Schlock jock sane during the absolute “Deep Hurting” that these films can bring in, but they’ve even contributed to helping make my content better and are all great people you should definitely go and check out at the next convenience!

At the time of writing my office/entertainment room is under renovation. everything is in boxes packed away and it wont be until August before we’re ready to reopen the archive and get back on track with the edit schedule. However! that’s not to say that this season is necissarily “Completely”

EDIT!: ITS THE FUTURE! and im just popping back in to remove the “Coming soon!” mystery bumper that I ran at the end of this article during the summer to say…well; you guys. I did a sneaky and popped just one more review into the mix to round us up to a healthy 18. and it’s a doozy! a collab with another youtuber and a great way to see out the end of the summer! 1981’s “The Burning” revisited, rewritten, reviewed and re-packaged! So! if you saw this article before and thought it was only 17 times cooler than the average seaon…well; now it’s 18 times cooler than that!!!

Return to Sleepaway Camp (2008)

Well…We’ve done it! Season 7 is in the can and there isnt a damn thing any one of you can do to take that away from me! Seriously; this seasons been an absolute blast to work on and i’ve got to hang around with some super cool people and make some really nice things…It’s just a shame that this is the movie the seasons going out on.

Yes “Return to Sleepaway Camp” a movie so painful and irritating to sit through I liken it to repeatedly smacking yourself in the clitoris or balls with a housebrick. all the charm is gone, all the nice plot twists and one liners; gone. this is an irrideamable piece of trash in my opinion. EASILY the worst film of this season hands down by a country mile. I will NEVER watch this film again willingly. and if you guys have any sense, neither will you. such a sad way to end what was ultimately a pretty alright franchise. I really hope at some point it gets another crack at the whip to try and right this travesty…because at this point? I wouldnt even put this in the same leage as latter day full moon features…and their movies…holy shit.

Anyway! Im done! go get some sunshine, go eat ice cream, enjoy your summer! I’ll be back in september with some more fun and games (Plus there’ll be plenty of goodies going up in the interim…dont think im leaving my channel barren) and i’ll see all you hot dogs and cool cats in the autumn

Take Care!

Dan

(FUCKING AWFUL POSTER DO NOT WANT.)

“Sleepaway Camp 3: Teenage Wasteland” (1989) AND “Sleepaway Camp 4: The Survivor” (1992)

So! a bit or a rarity! this week we’re doing double bubble! it’s been a VERY long time since I covered 2 movies in one review. in fact the last time was way back in Season 2 when I covered both versions of the “Night of the Living Dead” movies.

And todays is extra special because we’re not only covering 2 movies in one review! we’re covering 2 movies, 1 of which has never had a proper “PROPER” official release. Yes yes; there has been a cobbled together fan edit that attempts to complete it…but honestly? it’s a bit limp. I have to tread extra carefully around movies that never got completed as copyright law is slightly different for “Unifinished” works than completed ones.

Even so; I really did feel a bit like I was short changing you guys with my review of Sleepaway Camp 3 with this one. “It’s basically Sleepaway camp 2 again” is hardly the most inspired take for this one. and I was left in a bit of a dilemma as to; A: whether there was enough material to even MAKE a full length review for Sleepaway Camp 4 and B: Whether a trunkated review for sleepaway camp 3 would fly. As such it became quite apparent that the best thing to do with 2 stubby reviews that dont quite meet the usual goals and standards would be to push them together into a not so stubby double feature and treat SC4 as a bit of an addendum and ending to the production company “Double Helix films”.

Honestly?; While theres nothing inherently wrong with sleepaway camp 3, the fact that it’s basically more of the same always makes it difficult for me to appreciate this movie in the same way I do the original or Sleepaway camp 2. and Sleepaway camp 4 is missing so much information, that quite honestly? I feel bad for even talking about it. im only really doing it for completionist sake and because next week?…well it’s the season finale…and…oh god….even thinking about it’s making the space behind my eyes itch.

(In the UK sleepaway camp 3’s poster is basically Sleepaway Camp 4’s poster but cropped in exclusively to the cleavage area and with a title change…I dont care much for the US poster of 3…and the full length poster for Sleepaway Camp 4 just looks like the weirdest glamour shoot I’ve ever seen…these are not great posters…)

Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers (Nightmare Vacation 2) (1988)

I enjoy Sleepaway Camp 2 for almost the exact polar opposite reasons I enjoyed the first Sleepaway camp movie. Where that film relied on subtlety masked by some bombastic performances and a BIG TWIST ENDING that has come to pretty much define the movie altogether. This films loud, stupid, garish, blatant and critically; NOT to be taken seriously by any stretch of the imagination. It feels like a film that would exist inside another film, Like; I could see this movie easily playing in the background of a scene in Robocop or “The Last Action Hero” or something of that ilk. it doesnt feel like a real movie…and yet here we are.

Because of it’s total outlandishness I really warmed to this movie. It was the first sleepaway camp film I saw via “The Horror Channel” in the UK around the turn of the millenium and I’d honestly put this one joint first with the original for my most loved sleepaway camp movie. in the context of the slasher genre this is awful! but for a macarbre horror comedy with gore and gallows humour. I totally dig it!

With 2 weeks left to go now until the season finishes, I hope you’ll join us next week as we take a deep dive into “Sleepaway Camp 3: Teenage Wasteland” and “Sleepaway Camp 4: The Survivor”!

 

(This poster always confused me. Why have all the slasher references?, why shoot some random actress just because Pamela Springstein was unavaialble on the shoot day?…why continue to call it nightmare vacation in the UK?…its a messy poster…iconic…but messy)

Sleepaway Camp (1983)

So! It’s summertime and i’ve finally worked up the stones to pull the trigger on a series of films I’ve wanted to talk about LITERALLY FOR YEARS! Seriously I’d been planning on doing a series on the Sleepaway camp movies since season 2 at least! which is nearly 3 years ago! I love *Most* of these films and having done a few summer seasons now I thought it would be the perfect time to finally settle in and get these added to the vault.

The first “Sleepaway Camp” movie is notoriously hard to source in the UK…I believe it’s mainly down to licensing issues. But the long and short of it is; apart from the Pre-cert VHS release that came out in 1983/84 and a DVD release that was cut to shit and dumped on an overpriced boxset (Which is now EVEN MORE overpriced as it’s out of print) Short of importing; if your british. you aint seeing this movie. That astounded some of my American co-critics when I told them, as to them. This movies a pretty regular staple of TV broadcasting and is pretty easy to find via online streaming. the idea that it hasnt been released uncut over here yet made there jaws fall firmly to the floor.

It’s a real shame that thats the case honestly as I think the first film is a definite gold standard contender in the slasher genre. it’s a good solid summer camp slasher movie with twists and turns that are generally unexpected but become clearer on repeat watches and I love this film for that.

I had to import my bluray copy of this film from Spain where it’s known as “Campamento Sangriento” (Or literally translated “Bloody Camp”) my version has no extras, no commentaries, English and Spanish Languages only and English Subs only. The Picture quality is on par with the Scream factory release thats been out for years…but this is a totally barebones release. Nontheless; if the choice is spend £10 and own it in this format, Spend £200 on going Bluray multiregion and importing a copy, or not owning it…Well I think you can guess why I went the way I went.

Over the next 4 weeks I’ll be covering ALL of the other official Sleepaway Camp Movies as a big push to see the season out in style! so I hope you join us next week when we take a look at “Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers!”

(The poster for this movie is SO. FUCKING. GOOD. seriously; it says everything and nothing about this film in one iconic image. I’d LOVE to own an original theatre copy to hang in my house)

Celia (1989)

I dont really have a tremendous amount to say about this movie. Thats not me skimping out on juicy gossip about my “Amazing” history with this film. Rather; everything I really had to say about this movie is in the review and my opinions on it (at the time of writing this at least) havent changed a dot.

I originally got this in a haul of tapes, I thought it looked good and originally I intended to cover it back in Season Six But for time constraints I just couldnt fit it in. and Honestly? having finally watched it…Im kind of glad it didnt go in that season. I think It would have put me in a foul mood for the rest of the writing season to be honest…This was another one of the last scripts that I worked on (I believe this was 3rd to last…with the final one being the last episodes of this season) and I spent a good chunk of the credits swearing and pacing up and down because I couldnt quite believe what I’d just sat through.

As a Drama it’s middling and not really worth your time. As a Horror it’s downright awful. Dont bother with this movie. Next week…well; we get to have a LOT of fun 🙂

(All the posters for this movie are either SUUUUUUPER misleading or way too arty for what this film actually is…)

Antropophagus: The Beast (Savage Island) (1980)

After nearly 2 years; I finally decided to give the Nasties another go. It wasnt a concious choice to miss them out. Quite honestly i’ve wanted to talk about more of them for years at this point. It’s just with 2019’s season being a bit thrown together and 2018’s latter half of the year basically going to the wall . I just really couldnt fit any in anywhere.

And even now in 2020 Antropophagus only JUST managed to be included in this season. Originally it had been one I wanted to cover but I just couldnt fit it in anywhere. Then about 2 months before we launched Season 7 A collab I had planned dropped through and made a gap in April. So I pulled the trigger on covering this one (Particularly because around the time I had (What I thought) was a really neat little intro skit based off the UK travel series of the 80’s and 90’s “Wish you Were Here“.

All in all I have a soft spot for Antropophagus, it isnt to everyones taste, but it is a better Nasty than some of the stuff on the list. I enjoy digging it out now and then and if I could ever get my hands on a VHS copy then I’d be over the moon! It’s biggest problem as I mention in the review in passing is that some of the effects just dont hold up to the wonders of 1080p and 2k based Bluray technology. but watching this on a fuzzy, grimy video tape im sure brings a lot of the character of this picture back into focus! if you can go and check it out I definitely recommend you do as 88 Films is distributing this in the UK and Severin Films for the US.

While the Posters and many of the re-releases would show different more detailed artworks…I Personally Adore the artwork for the UK Pre-cert Release. It’s an Iconic “Nasty” Cover that was defining for the genre. If I could get it as I poster; I would.