Silent Night Deadly Night (1984)

Well! We’ve done it again! another year has reached it’s end and with it, we have the final review of the year! I hope each and every one of you had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I spent the day with the missus and my parents, we had a lovely dinner, played some board games till the evening and then had a small buffet that put us into a food coma well into Boxing day!

While I wish i’d had the time to relax and savour my time off (I had 19 days leave from work this year and it REALLY flew by) I’ve spent a lot of time working on next years season over Christmas and as of today (Jan 2nd) we’ll officially start cutting for the new series! Im hoping to have at least one rest day before I go back to work. but for now. im super grateful i’ve been able to get so far ahead! so do keep an eye out for the new season when it lands in February (At least…im hoping it’ll land in February)

I watched this movie for the first time this year, for the purpose of this review. I wrote the script some tim in late July/Early August and I was fortunate enough to pick up the lovely limited edition box set of this movie and it’s sequel from 101 films almost as soon as it was announced. they’ve done a genuinely lovely job in cleaning this movie up and it was a blast to actually watch it around christmas time, in the vibe, in the festive atmosphere. I think it’s probably one of the better christmas horror movies i’ve seen. While I’d probably hesitate to say it OG “Black Christmas” good. it’s definitely up there! and I hope you consider giving it a go some time!

Anyway! Im going to be hard at work editing Season 9 now for at least the rest of this month, there’ll be a few commentaries uploaded in the mean time while im away. and, as always, i’ll be in the comments on every review i’ve done to date. So if your new to the site. please feel free to reach out and say “Hi!”

I wish you all a very happy, healthy and fruitful 2021 and lets all just…HOPE. that it is only a shadow of the year we’ve come from!

LOVE this poster. Controversial? Absolutely…But it bloody works!

The Night B4 Christmas (2003)

Sooooo…Im going to be honest here. The Holidays kind of got away with me this year. Given that it was supposed to be a super quiet isolated christmas. I think it’s probably been busier than any christmas i’ve had…mainly because, for some reason, I’ve been nominated the “Dedicated point of contact” for 2 households.

What that means in real terms is I’ve been looking after my partner and my parents for a good chunk of the festive period and…in blunt terms. I’ve spent more time at the dump this christmas than I have in front of movies. it’s been manic. that’s probably the best way to describe this years christmas. Very little actual christmas celebrating and a hell of a lot of sitting around waiting for stuff to happen and sitting in traffic.

This has nothing to do with the below review. but because i’ve been all over the place I just havent had time to update the site as I normally would and honestly? this is one of those reviews where I pretty much say everything I need to say in the video. theres no real afterthought on this one.

In fact; as part of some of the admin I’ve been working on over Christmas, I rewatched this one while it uploaded to a backup site. and I still 100% agree with pretty much everything I said in this…which, given this was written back in July is always a nice thing to find out.

I still say go and check this one out, dont be put off by the animation. I genuinely think this ones got it’s heart in the right place *mostly* anyway! more christmas chat to come in my “Silent Night Deadly Night” review which is going to be loaded up to the site very shortly!

It’s not often I get a poster that is simultaineously EXACTLY perfect in summing up what this film is about, while also being it’s biggest advert for avoiding it. shame really…

Alphas Magical Christmas (1994)

I dont really know what I expected of this special in all honesty, One quick glance of the cover and I was convinced I was getting into “We wish you a turtle christmas” terratory. But honestly? when alls said and done. I found this movie to be a totally hollow experience.I’ve had a few months seperation from this review now by this point, and all I can honestly say is; “Well; it’s a thing that exists!”

It’s probably the best and worst example of “The Spirit of Christmas” because on the one hand Alpha is a charitable and loving robot who just wants to celebrate christmas with his friends. on the other hand all his friends are SO egotistical that they expect presents of Alpha, but dont get it anything in return. Alphas christmas basically consists of slaving away through all of christmas eve and christmas day and it’s big reward for exerting all that energy is that it gets to see 3-4 of the power rangers. All im saying is that the rangers who didnt turn up to wish Alpha a merry christmas may want to check the brakes on there Zords next time they hop in for a spin.

This really is a low point in the world of Direct to VHS specials…and more worryingly, I feel like I’ve only begun to scratch the surface. in either case. sit back, relax, and enjoy hearing a robot massacre christmas carols for 28 minutes. god even thinking about this tape now makes me want to go and get drunk…Merry christmas.

This cover is the perfect representation of what you’re getting into…you just need to airbrush out like…3 of the rangers and it’d be perfect.

The Story of Christmas (1994)

Christmas 2020 will probably go down as one of the best and worst christmasses within living memory. Lets be honest; while it’s nice to see relatives and loved ones at this time of year. Theres a certain delight that comes with the idea of staying in all christmas, knowing you dont have to go anywhere, knowing you’ve not got anything to do and knowing you dont have any obligations to anyone or anything for anyone or anything.

This year I have 19 days off work. and apart from 3 of those days where I may get a text message asking me to do 10 minutes of emergency work. I have ZERO obligations. and Im feeling damn good about it. I’ve recently finished writing for next years season and im currently script editing (I hope to have that done by the 12th and definitely before the 16th. Im recording between the 16th and 19th of December and then I have 2 weeks clean to do with as I like.

I’ve decided on Booze, movies and fast living. and I Honestly cant wait! its such a nice and relaxing contrast to my usual christmasses where I spend the week leading up to christmas travelling up and down the country visiting family members and the 2nd week being pushed into their houses to play party games…theres only so many games of Charades with the same people one person can take in a week before it looses it’s appeal and my extended family arnt exactly willing to try new things (The ‘Jack Box’ series of online board games go down a treat with my close family, noone else will go near them though mistaking them as a thing of evil apparently…)

But non of that this year! ohhhhhh no! im going to enjoy a fine single malt, watch the complete works of Norman J. Warren (1978 to 1987) and eat my weight in cheese. the missus is doing similar (we live apart currently) and I for one cannot wait! GOD im so excited!

Oh yeh…this films rubbish. it’s the story of what happened to Jesus AFTER he was born. and while the actual biblical telling is action packed and a non stop thrill fest. this film somehow manages to make it boring. and I cant begin to comprehend how they’ve done it. but dont let me here try to convince you, check out my review and judge for yourself! and Merry christmas!

This was sold in Boots…how good can it be? (Not very…Boooooooooo….)

The Night Child (What the Peeper Saw) (1972)

There really isnt a massive amount to say about this one post release honestly. My thoughts on this one have rigidly remained in line with whats said in the review. This is a very VERY strange and uncomfortable movie to sit through. But then. thats kind of the point. is it disturbing in the same way “A Serbian film” or “Cannibal Holocaust” is? No. Its just a general feeling of unease and a constant vibe of “Should I be watching this?”

Thats the joy of the “2am movie” though. your brain and body are tired. if you’ve been drinking the alcohol has no doubt at this point in the night started to really kick in. and the air is thick, heavy and the darkness wraps around you like a thick and heady blanket. I find a lot of itallian Giallo, Zombie movies and…well stuff like this REALLY suit that specific time frame. they’re not so complex that you have to really solidly keep track of everything, theres enough gore and other good stuff to keep your monkey brain on side and theres usually a pretty killer soundtrack to help smooth everything over. You never truely LOVE a 2am movie. but when you need them they’re most definitely the only thing that’ll scratch that itch.

I usually try to post some helpful information here on updates, where you can find the film or if anythings shifted on this one’s release history front. but no…it’s still never had a UK release. it’s never been released on Bluray and a trimmed copy from Europe/the US thats out of print on DVD is about as good as it gets. And while I didnt absolutely love this one. I still think if you can find it. watch it.

The Posters a bloody mess…but then in fairness all the other posters for this movie really dont capture the vibe that this film has. this posters the closest. and it’s rubbish.

The True Game of Death (1979)

Yep. We’re doing Brucesplotation again. Look; theres honestly so many of them with such wildly varying quality that frankly. I cant NOT cover them. they’re such a fascinating concept to me. I touch upon this in my review for the film itself but…can you actually imagine a celebrity known for a VERY specific thing dying. and rather than cementing there talent for the work they produced. 2 dozen studios launch knock off versions of the exact same act while TRYING to make out that the now dead celebrity is in someway tied to the movie (Chevviesploitation lives on in our minds, hearts and souls.)

I just find the whole thing a REALLY weird concept and like a moth to a flame I just keep having to come back to it. That and im not going to lie…I own a metric crap ton of these movies via hauls i’ve inhereted over the years. So yeh! “The True Game of Death” one of the more boring and bizzare moves from the genre. basically a near shot for shot remake of “Game of death” but with way more slow-mo, all the expensive scenes missing and slightly crappier direction. is it the worst Brucesploitation film in the world? well. of all the ones i’ve seen and reviewed for this channel yes. yes it is…at least so far.

The UK big box ex-rental cover for this release is way better than this poster, unfortunately my VHS copy was super faded and there wernt any high res copies online. So the poster’s the best I have to work with. It’s not offensively bad. it’s just not my thing.

Earth Vs The Flying Saucers (1956)

I’ve been meaning to cover a classic 50’s or 60’s B movie since the year started but honestly, between the restoration work and the lockdowns I just havent found the time to really truely knuckle down and get one sorted out. That was until the Horror channel in the UK decided to run a “Sci-Fi weekender” 2 days of non stop science fiction movies, all of them pretty much classics (Either famously or infamously so) and pretty much all of them being ones I’d never seen before.

This was the first time I got to see movies like “The Giant Claw” (which honestly blew my mind and I cant BELIEVE it isnt out in the UK on DVD or Bluray) and The Incredible shrinking man. But this time I thought rather than going low. i’d try my hand at covering a RESPECTED B-movie classic (Oh I’ll never work in this town again…) and Earth Vs the Flying saucers was just the right side of campy but well made to fit the bill! While I havent covered a tremendously large amount of (what the public would deem) “good” movies on my channel. I think this is the first “Good” 50’s Bmovie I’ve covered. I was really plesently surprised by it for the most part, it’s a bit slow here and there, but my long term memory of it (I wrote the script for this episode back in April/May time) is a positive one (barring the ending)

This is another film that unfortunately doesnt seem to have an easily available release to watch in the UK outside of streaming. but if it ever does get a release I’d almost certainly look into picking it up. With that in mind I kind of realised this time around that I should probably look more into Bmovies of the 40’s to the 60’s as from experience they only ever tend to be one of 3 extremes: Out of the blue phenominal, Tray on head awful or so boring I welcome deaths sweet release…and with odds like that; why WOULDNT I wanna spin the wheel again?

There is a LOT going on in this poster. it’s dramatic, its got a nice vintage feel…but its a tad too busy for me.

The Adventures of Hercules (Hercules 2) (1985)

I’ve been known in the past to do running themes throughout the year when it comes to reviews. In 2018 I covered 4 of the original Live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movies. and while im currently working on next years episodes I have have an idea in mind that im working on (No Spoilers!) But this year? I thought i’d keep it nice and simple and cover both of Luigi Cozzi’s Hercules movies. I covered the First entry in this pairing of totally absurd movies at the very start of the year back in Season 7 and it seemed only natural in the home stretch up to the end of the year to revisit the series for it’s final 1985 outing.

im not going to beat around the bush, in my personal opinion it probably isnt as good as the original. but what elements do work in it’s favour really shine out as a great example of absolute batshit insane movie making. This was a movie that literally wasnt supposed to exist. It came about last minute as a result of Cozzi doing a quite good job on a movie that just so happened to have Lou Ferrigno on board. how many movies do you know get fully greenlit based on a days test filming for a completely different movie and a treatment that was written on the equivolent of the back of a napkin. Crazy! but! here it works fantastically. and while I dont think Hercules 2 is as good as the original movie. as a double feature? this pair work tremendously well!

The Poster is also another example of not quite being as good as the first one. but hay! it tells you pretty much everything and nothing about what your getting yourself into…so kudos on that front.

Creepshow (1982)

This ones been a LONG time coming. nearly 3 years in the making (I’ve wanted to do this since Season 3!) Collaboration is something I enjoy, while it’s nice to have the goals and dealines flexiable and fluid while working alone, theres something of a thrill of getting together with a person or two and hammering out something that feels like a more well rounded criticism. in the past I’ve worked with 1 or 2 people who have all been absolutely delightful. but I often wondered how far I could take working with groups of people. and Creepshow being a port mantau seemed like the perfect opportunity to try and set the high bar.

So I scoured the internet for a year or so and found 6 critics who I felt could really genuinely do this film justice. and they’ve all been absolute SAINTS in helping me pull this together, each and every one of them bought something new and interesting to the table and each and every one of them im very proud to have had the honour of working with them. while my own contributions pale in comparison to theirs, I thought it best to step back a bit to let the review really breath.

I initially wanted to make this review feel a bit like a “Special edition” comic book with different contributors all having different styles and bringing their own flavour to the party. I took their contributions and ran it through my usual editing structure and with some heavy inspirations from pop art and the 90’s CITV series “ZZZAP!” it all slowly came together.

Im not going to lie, while my written contributions were a little shorter than normal on this one. the amount of editing this took to bring to the screen was quite intense to say the least. in total the whole project took 4 and a half months to complete from initially pitching to the first contributor (The Crypt keeper) to final export and upload. This was one of the longest single edits I’ve ever had to work on with TONS of motion tracking to animate the Keeper alongside digital moves and other tricks of the trade to help animate some of the more static transitional scenes. it’s easily the edit that’s given me the most sleepless nights and it’s easily the longest single movie film review I’ve released to date!

So I’d once again just like to take the time to thank each and every one of the people who contributed to this special. I really REALLY hope you dig it:

Channel 83 (Fathers Day)

Raymond Smith (The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill)

Video Creep (Something to Tide you Over)

The Best Little Horror House in Philly (The Crate)

Ciara Selene (They’re Creeping up on you)

AND! The Crypt Keeper! played by Brent from the youtube channel Hero’s Horror’s and Cats!:

And if you wanna know how my Halloween went? Well; I was still in lockdown, I inadvertantly ended up with severe dehydration, I ate a sausage roll. drank 2 liters of water and 2 beers and spent the day working up the volition to eat ANY of the £15 worth of sweets I bought in prep for a massive marathon and I ended up eating non of it. The missus wasnt very well in the afternoon and bailed on the evening by 8pm and My playlist was as follows:

Garfields Halloween Adventure

Freaks

Young Frankenstein

I Drink your Blood

Happy Death Day

Scream

Paganini Horror

Halloween 3: Season of the Witch

I never much cared for this poster. I always personally preferred the comic book style version.

The Halloween That Almost Wasnt (The Night Dracula Saved the World) (1979)

So; there was a slight delay in getting this article up and written and the main reason for that is because I’ve spent the last two weeks in isolation. now the merciful thing is there was nothing wrong with me, but im currently staying with my mum and sister as my Dad is classed a vulnerable person (he has COPD) meaning if he caught anything during this pandemic he’d probably be dead. so he’s stopping at my place while I stay with my mum and sister, mainly because we’re all outgoing for elderly and vulnerable people and it makes sense for the people who are going out to stay together.

Anyway 2 weeks ago my sister tested positive for covid having had non of the symptoms associated with it (She had a headache, a blocked nose and a tiny sore throat) so me and mum went to get tested as a precaution and we found out we were negative for it. my partner (who’s not doing to great right now) decided to go and stop at her sisters for a few days to destress and get her life back in order and during the isolation period I asked if I could stay at her house knowing I was clean as I figured it was probably safer for me to do that than isolate in a house with someone who definitely DID have the virus. So! for the last 2 weeks apart from a playstation and my phone I’ve had no access to my setup to be able to write these or record/edit anything. it’s been nice to have a bit of a getaway but in honesty I’d rather not repeat it again as I spent most of the week living off tins and freeze dried food…which has probably not been the best for my health.

Anyway; this is my favourite movie I found during the writing of all of these halloween specials. if I had to choose 1 to watch at halloween it would definitley either be this or “Garfields Halloween Adventure” both are oozing with charm and charisma, both are very entertaining and both have tremendous rewatch value. im super glad I tuned into this one and im hoping the next time Halloween comes round, you do to.

This is a bit of a hodge podge poster, and I Think it’d probably look a lot better in colour.
But I’ll tell you this; I’d LOVE that art as a sticker for my laptop. I think it would look ace.