I first heard about ‘Bloodbath at the House of Death’ about 15 years ago as an aside in a british horror documentary. And as soon as I heard the sentence ‘Vincent Price, Kenny Everett and Pamela Stephenson riff Hammer’ I was sold.

Unfortunatley, this films had a bit of a rough life on Physical media, a long out of print VHS and DVD fetch a bit more than I’d fancy to satisfy a curiosity…BUT! tonight it was showing on UK television. So I cleared my diary and finally decided to give this one a spin…and y’know what? it’s inoffensive…

That’s probably the best thing I can say about it, its a fairly inoffensive viewing experience, greatly lifted by Vincent Prices limited appearence and the occasional gag from Everett…and thats about it. and thats a real shame, because theres some serious comedy talent running through this thing…A script worked on by Both Everett, Stephenson and comedy legend Barry Cryer, and its directed by Ray Cameron, who was a close collaborator with Everett and basically helped nail down Everetts pioneering alternative style…I’d figured i’d be in for a rip roarer…But it feels like a work that ‘read’ better than it ‘shot’.

The plot? Several years ago a group of 18 people were staying at the perfectly titled ‘Headstone Manor’ when a group of monks broke in and butchered the lot in an aggressive and creative fashion. Now, in the present day of 1984, a group of damaged and rejected scientists turned ‘Paranormal experts’ are setting up at ‘Headstone’ to find out once and for all what caused the unusual deaths and whether there really is an army of ghost monks, or if its all superstition.

Well; it doesnt take long for the answer to reveal itself (the first 20 minutes in fact) It’s Vincent Price. He plays the lowly servent to a greater demonic cosmic being who demands blood sacrifices. The monks? are in fact all members of the local village, who Price has drafted in to help keep the myth alive and to take out any ‘unwanted visitors’.

And…The biggest problem this film has is that it just…doesnt seem to know what to do with the plot or the characters once everythings set up. The first act does a fine enough job of establishing everything and everyone…The comedies a little dated, dry and few and far between by modern standards…But it about does the job…

But around the time Everett and co get to ‘Headstone’ the action grinds to a halt as we basically just enter 40 minutes of mixed ability comedy that ranges from ‘Smirk-worthy’ to downright dismal.

This then leads to a finale with a half decent twist, that it really gets nothing to do with. ending quite abruptly, without really much revealed, tied off, or even discussed.

It feels like the constraints of the rules of film and scriptwriting have crushed pretty much all of the good out of what makes the cast and crew of this production unique.

Everett is best known as being a ‘thousand miles a minute’ true eccentric who’s lightning fast responses and reactions were what MADE him as a comedian. Here? he plays a split personality character (2 characters) both half heartedly and both with almost NON of the energy or charm that made him as popular as he was.

Pamela Stephenson at this point was still VERY well recognised as a quarter of the impeccable talent of ‘Not the nine o’clock news’ BEST known for having a VERY dry, slightly dark but wickedly funny sense of humour to her performances. Here? she’s playing a ditzy bleach blonde with a rhotacism who’s seemingly just here in a filler role and to provide the film with the 0.2 seconds of nudity required to put her semi naked on the film poster.

The rest of the cast (Don Warrington, John Fortune, Gareth Hunt, John Stephen Hill etc…) are one note. they get almost NO lines on screen, almost NO real screentime. they basically exist to say stray, one sentence, lines…and to help flesh out what would otherwise be a skeleton cast…Which is bizarre.

Price, the crown JEWEL of this film, is PERFECT. CLEARLY aware of the tone they were aiming for here, he’s clearly just having a laugh, enjoying getting to ham it up after decades of campy, but serious roles. he gets two of the biggest laughs in this thing and really was probably the best part of this movie. Unfortunately; it looks like they only had him for filming for about 2 days, because he never appears on screen with the main cast, and he’s collectively in the film for about 5-10 minutes, spread out across the runtime. Which was a real shame honestly, as I think his chemestry with Everett could have been wonderful.

The tone cant quite make up its mind whether its trying to be lowest common denominator humour, or intelligent witty wordplay humour, the horror elements are paired right back (I firmly believe the cult villagers here were the inspiration for the cult from ‘Hot Fuzz’) to the point that it barely feels like a horror film from a script perspective…

The act structurings lop sided, lacks progression or coherency…But not so much that it completely throws the film, just enough that it makes you wonder why your still watching after an hour or so.

The broader dialogues passably okay, but theres no real grand moments or quotable bits. Its all honestly a bit forgettable.

The direction feels cheap compared to the likes of Amacus or Hammer. theres multiple references to films of the time here such as ‘Carrie’, ‘Star Wars’, ‘The Evil Dead’, ‘An American Werewolf In London’ and ‘E.T’ Its got the occasional creative flourish and it never looks BAD…it just looks very low budget and almost has a ‘make do’ mentality about its execution…Which is a shame.

There are a few visual effects here that are handled rather well, ghostly interactions and the opening murder scenes were all pretty solid actually considering this was the year of the ‘Video Nasty’.

Direction of the cast feels a bit limp as well. Given the cast arnt really given much of ANYTHING to do, I imagine it was hard to make their ‘nothingness’ look thrilling…but again ‘passable’ is about as good as it gets. Everett in particular was particularly dissapointing here as a few animated gags about a prosthetic leg is about as lively as this thing gets.

The cine is pretty solid, theres a couple of ropey editing moments here and there. But I’d say how this thing looks is probably it’s strongest asset this film has going for it. It may look like cheap hammer or amacus. But it works DAMN hard to achieve that look. and, having seen some REAL bottom of the barrel, cheaper than cheap productions…I think it handles its visuals pretty decently all things considered.

‘Bloodbath at the House of Death’ isnt a ‘must watch’, I went in with relatively high hopes, and came away a little crestfallen truthfully. While it has some good gags throughout the runtime and its really trying to capture that 70’s folk horror and 50s hammer vibe. it doesnt quite have the resource to pull it off, and a script that seemingly had quite a bit of promise has ultimatley kind of been fumbled a bit.

Nevertheless, I think ‘Bloodbath’ is probably worth catching at least once as a casual watch. Maybe best viewed as a B-picture to something a bit stronger in quality.

All the way through watching this film, all I could think is that it would pair up WONDERFULLY with another Vincent Price film from this time ‘The Monster Club’. and I may well try the pair together at some point to see how they sit.

If you can find it and have 90 minutes to kill…AND you keep in mind that this isnt going to blow your socks off…you’ll probably think its cheesy, but ultimately enjoyable. but DO NOT go out of your way for this thing. There’s absolutely better out there.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/bloodbath-at-the-house-of-death/