A deathly dull Mockumentary from the lens of Charles Band featuring a gaggle of the ‘surrender cinema’ stable ‘NoAngels.com’ is the story of several women’s determination to launch an adult website during the apex of the 2000s ‘dot com’ Craze. And…that’s really all there is to say about this one.
I’m not entirely sure what the point of it was truthfully, the idea of a scripted fake documentary is *generally* that the story is more engaging than anything that could happen naturally…but here, it’s *too* straight cut, with only the occasional, incredibly painful planned shot and the clearly fake ‘drama’ pulling you out of a dreary piece about half a dozen girls going to the club and talking ‘branding opportunities’
The film gets SO fed up with itself, that half way in to the movie it becomes an advert for the ‘hustler store’ and ‘surrender cinemas’ self branded adult toy merch.
The pacing is chronically slow, the direction and cine are jittery and painful…not helped by the fact this was shot in DV wide-screen. But hasn’t been upscaled for streaming platforms. Meaning the copy on full moons streaming service and dvd is a ‘widescreen’ print for 4:3 tvs that hasn’t been recropped to ACTUALLY be widescreen for the digital release. Meaning the entire film has a huge black void surrounding it (a common issue for the less fondly remembered full moon titles…)
The characters arnt interesting, the softcore is basically non existent, the film seems to have lost the point of its own existence before it even really got started and the sound mix is atrocious. With thin tinny vocals that can BARELY be deciphered, getting hard mixed with random music, some copyrighted, others randomly incidental, but all super low quality.
I wasn’t expecting much from this going in, but even I was surprised how little titillation is ACTUALLY present in this movie and just HOW DULL it really truely is. Am absolute waste of 72 minutes. Don’t bother unless your a die hard ‘surrender cinema’ fan…and even then, I think you’ll struggle.
TYTD Reviews 