I basically just watched this one because i’d seen pretty much all of Scott Hillmans other films, and figured catching this one would more or less tie off his live action filmography…I didnt enjoy this one.

Its a paper thin plot in which a woman hooks up with another woman at a 90% stock footage night club, only to find out the next day that she is infact an infamous dutch hacker and leader of ‘The Bikini Hackers’ a group of ‘ethical’ hackers who try to undo the evils of the corporate world, and their gimmick is they do so in bikinis. The hackers ask our leading lady if she’d like to join the team, and the rest of the film is the gang slowly trying to infiltrate an evil corporation and steal a large sum of money from them. Oh! and the girls spend most of the film wandering around an office space in Bikinis, or having pool parties…

This one wasnt for me really…I found the characters grating, theres a heavy handed use of ‘Lolrandum’ style babyish speaking and humour that just fell absolutely flat for me. Theres a romance subplot that only really turns up at the very beginning and very end of the film, the pacings all over the place, it feels glacial to be stuck with these characters for as long as we are.

The plot itself just isnt long enough to sustain 67 minutes, it feels like a 30 minute short at most…as shown by the fact we have an overeliance on stock footage, TONS of moments where we see a text chat conversation between two people who are largely just idling and talking about pop culture stuff.

I know from interviews that Scotts said the attempt here was to try and revive or modernise the ‘bikini’ movie of the 60s, but theres not nearly enough genuine whimsy here or story/action to give it that vibrant campness that those films thrived under.

In short; it feels like a 60 minute runaround movie, thats dragged WELL beyond its natural running point, and it feels painful to have to spend as much time as we do with the characters. the pacings all over the place, the tone isnt quite right and when it does try to go deep, it fails for me.

Direction and cine wise, its basic, theres a huge overreliance on stock footage to help flesh out the film, which does give it a glossy quality, but at the same time, really makes the ACTUAL footage shot for the movie feel drab and uninteresting. This is supposed to be a colourful and vibrant bikini movie, but the colour grade is desaturated and dull for the most part, making the bikini pool parties look like they’re being held in the middle of a thunderstorm.

Composition is middle of the road, If I remember rightly this whole film was shot in 3 days, which is absolutely insane. and while I appreciate the grind. I’d have still rather it been shot in a week and them actually nail the script and visuals and make something closer to Scotts other films (Blue belt and the Magic Christmas Tree spring to mind) As it stands…It just about does the job, but when im sitting there picking apart how much of this film was ACTUALLY shot by the crew for the purpose of this film and how much is digital effects and stock bought from 3rd party sites, thats not a good sign.

Performance wise? Im gonna swerve on that because, I have nothing redeeming to say. Make of that what you will.

and finishing off the sludge, we have a soundtrack 90% comprised of royalty free tracks.

In my opinion, this may be Scotts worst film. I didnt like ‘Baby Cat’, but at least the jokes kind of landed and there was an attempt at sincere heart…This feels like a test shoot that just got expanded out to feature length to try and squeeze some cash out of people. Not one i’d recommend, its not so bad its fun, its so bad that I forced myself to sit through the final 20 minutes just to say I had watched the whole thing.

Also; as an aside, this is the 3rd film where the director appears either nude, or in some state of undress in this movie…if it happens again in any future films, im docking that movie a star immediately.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/bikini-hackers/