I hadnt heard of ‘DC Cab’ until a recent splurge on one of kino Lobors sales, the Bluray cover of Mr. T angrily flailing the door of a taxi cab with a wasteland depiction of Washington just in front of him set expectations that I was going to be getting myself into a rollocking riot of a movie. And with Joel Schumacher on writing and direction (given he’d done ‘Car Wash’ less than 10 years prior) I was expecting something a little extra…Something the film unfortunately fails to deliver…
The plot of the film follows Albert, a country boy who’s headed to DC to meet up with friends and co-workers of his recently deceased Father. Alberts arrived with a mission, to carry on his fathers legacy in working for ‘DC Cabs’ He has images of a noble fleet of clean and vibrant cabs and friendly cabbies. But is almost immediately bought down to earth when he finds that the cab company itself is a ramshackled, threadbear and barely surviving business with Cabbies that have largely, seemingly escaped from prison or an asylum.
A friend of Alberts dad (and the cab companies owner) takes Albert in and helps to show him the ropes of the cab company, and while Alberts on the way up, we’re treated to a montage of ‘Wacky Shenanigans’ involving Mr. T, The Barbarian Brothers, Bill Maher and Gary Busey, alongside the rest of the cabbies in the fleet, while also introducing us to rival company, the ultra squeeky looking ‘Emerald Cabs’. Things seem on the up and up, when Albert finally gets his Hack license and meets the girl of his dreams, but when a lost violin winds up in the back of one of the cabbies cars, and a HUGE cash reward is mentioned, it leads to mutiny, theft and Albert and some kids being kidnapped! leading the Cabbies to mount a rescue mission to get one of their rank back, or lose their ranks all together!
Again, given the marketing for this film, I was under the impression it was going to be a screwball slapstick comedy ala ‘Meatballs’ with Mr. T in a prominent role as a Cabbie getting into misadventures. But he’s largely playing a background character here, he has some dialogue, and but he’s mainly there to occasionally smash things up and to make up the background numbers, with the main plot largely revolving around Albert. Which was kind of the begining of this films downfall for me.
The script itself is fairly pedestrian, the first half of the movie is largely just vignettes with the Cabbies getting into mishaps with rival cab companies and the local law. With the Violin subplot slowly bubbling away in the background until the 2nd act, when it basically consumes the entire act, which; on the one hand was nice because the disjointed comedy sketches were beginning to wear a bit thin, but on the other hand, because they have to cram what SHOULD Have been a first act setup into the entirity of the 2nd act, it means theres very little room for the comedy to continue, and what comedy is presented is very much a damp squib.
This leads to the 3rd act which is almost entirely centered around Alberts kidnapping, and the comedy does kind of come back, with some of the bigger laughs of the movie being found in the back end of this thing…But its all a bit too little too late, and the slowness of the second act, combined with a TON of padding in the 3rd, left me just feeling a bit exhausted by this movie. There’s only so long I can focus on a film, especially a comedy movie, before I have to accept that it probably isnt for me, and that tipping point happened somewhere in the 3rd act, making it almost impossible for it to pull it back for me.
Comedy is of course subjective, and while im sure plenty of people will enjoy the humour of this one…It just felt like a poor mans ‘Meatballs’ to me…Like a poor copy paste attempt at recapturing the lightning in a bottle of ‘Car Wash’ but about 7 years too late. its reliant on T&A and racial slurs to keep the audience on board for most of the opening half, and even the more slapstick moments are pretty weak. I stifled a laugh once…maybe twice across this whole thing. Which, given its a comedy movie…is pretty dire. I dont even think I cracked a smile past that.
I think the biggest problem the script has is that it confuses characters shouting things, as funny. The vast majority of the film just has out characters freaking out and screaming their lines…and for some people…thats enough. But not for me. I just found it frustrating and tiring to watch, Not helped either that the dialogues a bit muffled, meaning I had to watch with subtitles to ensure I ACTUALLY GOT the jokes.
The characters arnt really all that well developed. Most of them could best be described as ‘Muscle bound meatheads’ and thats kind of their entire schtick…Think the jocks from ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ and your not a million miles off…and the characters who DID manage to stand out, were either standing out for the wrong reasons (see Gary Buseys character dropping hard R’s like it was the 19th century again, or Charlie Barnett essentially just leaning into stereotyping and giving a poor mans Eddie murphy impression) It just felt like non of these characters, other than Albert had any real sense of depth, and even Albert doesnt get THAT much development, with most of his arc being around getting his license (which he achieves around the mid point of the 2nd act) and in trying to win the heart of a young lady who works at the diner…which isnt really resolved or closed by the movies end…as he gets sidelined for most of the 3rd act.
The film basically feels like it could be supercut into a really nice trailer, something that could get people through the door. But if the best the film has is a 60-90 second sizzle reel of jokes, its going to make the 99 minute runtime basically insufferable.
The issues with the film however do pretty much begin and end with the script (I appreciate thats a pretty big problem to have mind) the direction and cine are both studio grade and pretty sharp. Bizarrely the film opens with some really nice experimentation on shot composition and lighting. the set spaces look great…and then past that opening 10 minutes it just…collapses, into a somewhat overly comfortable state where it never really grows past just…doing the basics of a studio comedy of this era. the directions fine, cast direction especially given theres usually 10-20 cast members in a shot at any one time and they all seem to be moving or doing something, which is solid. It meets the basics, it opens strong…it just never gets better than that intro.
Performances are fine enough, Mr T is very much underplayed here as Samson, given he’s prominently featured in the marketing, he IS in the movie for a good chunk of the runtime. He just, doesnt get to say or do much…The Barbarian brothers get more to do than him, and they’re largely mute! Adam Baldwin as Albert is pretty solid in his role, starting off as a shy guy and slowly opening up into a more well rounded character as he’s brought into the wonderful world of Cabbie life. Charlie Bennet pretty much throws his entire weight behind his role as ‘Tyrone’ practically exploding on screen at every opportunity…and it would be amiss of me not to mention Gary Buseys….frankly…unsettling performance here as Dell. He feels like a jack in the box on screen, giving a somewhat demented stare to the cast or camera most of the time and just…unloading the most HEINOUS dialogue I’ve heard in a film in a good while….bizarre.
The biggest pull for this movie? and the sole reason I think it was worth it being made, was the soundtrack, which is a collaboration of Georgio Moroder and Irene Cara. It sounds great! power packed synth pop at its finest, very 80s, very cool, one i’d love to get my hands on on Vinyl…This is pretty much the best thing about this movie.
‘DC Cabs’ is pretty middle of the road, and hasnt really aged all that well in my opinion, it may look and sound pretty solid. But a comedy lives and dies by its material…and the comedy here, just…isnt really very good to me. I imagine if you caught this growing up, that you’ll almost certainly have a nostalgia for it. But coming to this in 2025 with fresh eyes? I just found it a bit overly basic, flat and it had me clenching my jaw in a few places. Not one I could really recommend honestly…
TYTD Reviews 