The final entry in the original run of ‘National Lampoons Vacation’ movies (We dont talk about ‘Christmas Vacation 2’) Sees the Griswolds embark on probably their least interesting adventure to date, an extended Vegas Vacation…

When one of Clarkes inventions at the food company earns him a big payout, he decides to treat the family to a lavish Vegas Vacation, where he also announces he plans to renew his vows with his wife Ellen. But rather than joy, the family is kind of nonplussed by the whole thing, mainly because Vegas isnt exactly a family hot spot and for people under 21, theres basically nothing to do but sit in air conditioned theaters watching shows all day.

Nevertheless, Clarke presses on and soon the family are on the strip, and ready to party. ‘hilarity’ ensues as Clarke fallas afoul of a blackjack dealer whos seemingly bad luck, and Ellen is swooned by a residenting Wayne Newton. Oh! and because it wouldnt be a ‘Vacation’ film without Cousin Eddy…he’s here too! Remember Cousin Eddy?! he’s back!…Again!…

Eddys appearence signals bad luck for the Griswolds, as Clarke falls deeper and deeper into a financial pit of his own making, ignoring Ellen who decides to spend incresing amounts of time with Wayne Newton, meanwhile Audrey links in with Eddys daughter Vicky who takes her out with the crazy party girls…and Russ? he gets bored, so decides to buy a fake ID to give gambling a go, and he’s surprisingly lucky with it, eventually fallin in with the ‘Mob’ types and chronic gamblers who see him as they’re lucky trinket to keep around as he racks up free cars and comp’d rooms.

Eventually however; Clarkes gambling catches up with him, and when the family end up over 20k in the hole and seemingly no way out, it may well be down to Eddy of all people to save the day!

I’d not seen this film in probably 5 years or so, but with news of Vegas’s tourism industry collapsing in real time I thought i’d give it one more spin because, if nothing else its interesting to see Vegas jumping AND this is the only original Lampoons Vacation movie I hadnt actually taken the time to review or rate…

Honest opinion? its not good…its not HORRENDOUS you understand…but what we have here is an incredibly lazy sequel, where noone really seems that invested in it, where the humour is largely building on references and jokes from the previous movies…But not in a creative or unique way…in a kind of lazy ‘just ampliphying what was already there’ kind of way.

The best case study for this is probably Cousin Eddy and the family, in the first film, they were backroad yokels who were kind and pleasent, but had a strange icky undercurrent running through them, they skipped out on the sequel, but by Christmas Vacation, they were back, living in an RV, and the hillbilly elements were a bit stronger (eating squirrels, undergoing medical experiments for cash, trying to renovate clearly destroyed furniture)…In this film? they’re just doing the same thing they did in Christmas vacation, but louder…not more interesting, or taking it in a different direction. its the EXACT same joke, just not as well written and more annoying.

Clarkes a family man at heart, with a distinct run of psycopathy, in the previous films he’s shown to take things to the extreme, often endangering his own family, himself and random strangers in the process. But its all in the pursuit of trying to be a good dad and a family man…Here? he spends most of the movie avoiding his family as much as possible and learning how to cheat the blackjack table…its only when he runs out of money that he remembers he even HAS a family and goes back to them for support…This is probably the worst Clarke Griswold has ever been portrayed in any of the films really.

The humour itself is lowest common denominator stuff, when they’re not badly ripping off there own stuff, the jokes are all kind of flat or stupid. Chevy Chase has a great physical presence and can handle pratfalls with relative ease. He barely gets any time to do anything in this film other than sit by various pools and casino tables, the one big physical piece he DOES get into (set at Hoover Dam) is largely greenscreened and again, it just isnt that funny.

Theres no chemistry really between any of the characters or cast members, the decision to split the family into 4-5 different subplots that largely ignore each other is bewildering to me. because it results in you not really feeling like your watching a ‘Vacation’ movie. It just feels like bad improv in movie form.

The pacings pretty glacial, at times it just full on turns into a Vegas tourist board infomertial, the tone swings between just about tolerable and unpleasent. and the character arcs arnt rewarding, and at times just feel a bit unpleasent. with the 3rd act resolution that solves the Griswolds troubles being particularly hard to believe given everything that happened in the preceeding 80 minutes.

Directions fine enough, theres some early greenscreen work that hasnt aged that well, but its a studio pic and for a generic film, a late 90s Lampoons film at that…its fine. but nothing really special. Same goes for the cine. it’s just…kind of unremarkably ‘okay’.

The soundtrack feels like its creaking at times mixing late 70s/early 80s fanservice tracks with mid 90s dance and house music…it’s a weird concoction and a fairly nauseating one at that.

Performance wise, its screaming paycheque gig. Im assuming Chevy was being problematic as he gets basically nothing to do, the odd vocal joke and a tiny bit of physical prat falling is about all there is, Randy Quade gets the lions share of the ACTUAL comedy in this and…as I’ve said before ‘Cousin Eddy’ is a flavour enhancer of a character, NOT a main ingrediant. You add him to an already funny character to make the situation funnier…but on his own? it becomes grating almost immediatley.

The rest of the Griswolds (D’angelo, and new in towners Marisol Nichols and Ethan Embry as Audry and Russ) are just…kind of flat really. they giving theater performances for a film that really would have benefitted from a more naturalistic turn. and as a result, they dance between annoying and just kind of okay throughout the runtime. Its clear from how they handled this that non of them expected this to be a career launch in any capacity…

‘Vegas Vacation’ is a stale comedy with a cast who probably could have done better with better material. Its a cheap cash in movie off the back of arguably 2 of the greatest US comedies ever made and arguably one fo the best Christmas movies ever made. and its painfully obvious the film makers knew this and just wanted to shake the piggy bank on this one to see what fell out.

It blows my mind that this film came out one year AFTER ‘Beavis and Butthead do America’ a film that handles the Vegas comedy setting MILES better than this film (and this film has the gaul to actually steal a couple gags from that film…) This? was a wasted opportunity, and a bit of a sour note to end the ‘Vacation’ films on…I totally get why Its been so long since I last checked it out, and it’ll probably be a lot longer before I go back again.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/vegas-vacation/

Well; 14years after ‘Jurassic Park 3’ slopped onto screens and stunk out the room. It was the era of the ‘Soft Reboot’ and every franchise was being pulled out of the toy trunk, given a quick clean with an anti-bacterial wipe, a paint touch up and launched headfirst back into theaters…’Jurassic World’ was ONE of those movies.

The plot? Its the present day, and despite John Hammonds clear message that there shouldnt be a ‘Jurassic Park’ AND two incidents where multiple people died and several people BARELY made it off the islands alive…Jurassic Park not only lives, its corporate sponsored. Rechristened Jurassic World, the park is beholden to corporations who are demanding increasingly more unrealistic additions to the park in order to keep people going through the doors and keep the share prices rising.

And we open the film being introduced to Zach and Gray, children of worlds saddest mother ‘Karen’. The kids are being shipped off for an extended weekend at Jurassic World, so that their parents can sort out seperation proceedings, BUT! They wont be doing it alone! as Karens sister Claire, who also happens to be the 2nd in command to the CEO of the park has agreed to give them an all access pass tour of the park on arrival…aaaaaand she’s too busy to ACTUALLY spend time with them, so instead, they get her P.A…who really isnt that bothered about spending time with a couple of kids.

Claire is then shown the parks latest attraction, genetically modified dinosaurs, basically the corps want something new a big, so they’ve taken DNA from a bunch of dinosaurs and other animals, in an attempt to create a non stop killing machine. Claires impressed, but the CEO wants checks to be carried out on its paddock, because they arnt entirely sure its completely safe.

Enter ‘Owen’, the parks raptor handler, he’s ex-navy and treats the animals with the upmost respect and importance. Much to the confusion of the rest of the handlers who just see the animals as product to be moved around the park. Owen gets the summons to go and take a look at the park security up at the paddock, and on arrival, something isnt quite right…the new dinosaurs seemingly missing, and when Owen sees scratch marks on one of the paddock walls. they believe its escaped its containment…worried, they head into the paddock…only, ITS A TRAP! and the new dino escapes into the park, RIGHT into the area where Zach and Gray are hanging out, Leading Claire and Owen to race to find them, and sending the kids on an adventure through the backroads of the park. While the park staff try desperately to keep control of the situation.

One of my first thoughts on this film happened around 20 minutes in, and it was a pretty glaring one for me. Is this film ignoring the sequels up to this point, or is it considering them. Because if its ignoring the sequels its pretty bloody GLIB to take the message of the first film (AKA: That some things are best left in the past, and that Jurassic Park shouldnt exist…and that, while they cant exactly undo what they’ve done, they could at least leave the dinosaurs to thrive and build their own societies away from human internetion) and essentially say ‘Ha! LOL! No!’ and just…Not only decide to rebuild the park in THE most pro capitalist way possible, but to do so while ACTIVELY trying to make out that John Hammond would have wanted ANY part of this.

Or! it DOES count the sequels as canon to this film, in which case its a bridge too far for me, the events of ‘Jurassic Park 3’ happened less thanb 14 years prior to this film, and this film establises that the parks been open and thriving now for at least a few years. Sooo…are they just ignoring that in a 10 or so year window at least 2 dozen people died and there were several raids/attempted invasions of the islands that house the dinosaurs? theres at least a dozen people who are still alive out there who survived these islands…and despite the fact this brand would have been toxic as asbestos by this point, SOMEHOW, they managed to get, what I can only assume is billions of dollars to fund and open a park?!

Nah, to me it feels like theres a step missing in this series. you cant go from the end of either the original OR ‘Jurassic Park 3’ to this without there having to have been SOME kind of serious transition in mindset towards it. I found the jump to this film, after the events of ‘3’ to be jarring to the point of concussion. and thats not even getting to the fact that some characters from the original DO return, and are now for some reason evil…I…dont really get it.

I think the difference between this film and the original ‘Jurassic Park’ is a problem a lot of contemporary films have, they treat the theater going experience as a theme park ride, they play down plot, human moments and sincere attempts at courting the audience, in place of set pieces and shallow CGI Action scenes. and thats kind of where I found myself with this film.

The plots fine enough, the genetic engineering of dinosaurs was kind of the next logical step after ‘Lost World’…But the execution feels somewhat shallow and uninteresting. Its like they basically went ‘well, people liked the T-rex in the first 2 movies…whatabout a SUPER T-REX!!!!’ and noone stopped them. Everything just kind of feels so vapid. and empty, the attempts at anti capitalist sentiment fall flat, because, you cant say ‘corporations sponsoring eugenics is BAD’ while simultaineously making every other shot a Merc or Samsung commercial…

the dialogue is marvelisation dialogue, everyones trying to be the likeable sarcastic so and so…and im just SO done with that style of scriptwriting by this point. the pacing is WAY too slow, this things over 2 hours long and it absolutely shouldnt have been. the characters arnt strong enough to sustain that and the film falls into the same mistake 2 and 3 did which is putting extended action scenes over genuine human interacation.

It feels like someone watched Jurassic Park, didnt get the subtext or the messages it had and made a clone of it in an easily digestable ‘slush’ form. and while the actual plot is fine enough, I dont think I could give this film my full attention on a second viewing. Its a ‘glance over my phone every 20 minutes’ kind of movie. Something to fill the deafening silence where I could be watching an AGFA or Criterion movie instead…

beyond that the technical elements are…fine. Once again a director has fallen into the trap of overegging the action scenes over giving us a sense of these humans ACTUALLY being real people. its a big budget studio picture, so everything on the direction and cine front is going to be of a standard. The trouble is here, the standard is about as good as it gets, they somehow manage the amazing feat of making grand sweeping scenes of dinosaurs roaming the land look kind of boring. and while the CG is miles better than what we had in ‘Jurassic 3’…10 years on from its premiere, its starting to creak a bit.

And thats probably how I’d sum up the rest of this film, the cines fine, but kind of unremarkable, the performances are fine, but dance the line between that Marvel style snark and being dry to the point of kindling. the soundtracks still milking the Williams score for all the nostalgia it can. The fact the films already starting to feel a bit dated only 10 or so years from its release is frankly concerning, because all thats telling me is 10 years from NOW, its going to look Pony.

I dont have the same level of whistful nostalgia for Jurassic Park as most people seem to have. If you were to ask me, from what i’ve seen, I think they really should have just left this as a ‘one film and done’ kind of thing. As it stands, as far as soft reboots go, I really just didnt get this one. I can see how this could lay the ground for maybe one or two more movies. But I know theres been WAY more than that, and I cant even BEGIN to imagine how tenuous they’re going to get from here on in. But yeah, I didnt hate this one, I was just…kind of unimpressed by it and left wondering what the point of any of it was other than to put brand names in front of people and to try and revive an IP that had been on ice for a decade and a half…Your milage may vary…But I dont think i’ll be in a rush to revisit this one…

EDIT: OH! And I almost completely forgot…the GAUL of this film to essentially take the plots of ‘Lost World’ (I.E a corrupt company trying to capture dinosaurs for their own nefarious needs) and ‘Jurassic 3’ (people who are aware of the events of the park getting stranded and trying to get back to base to call for help) and cherry picking elements of it to create some kind of recycled hybrid movie is ESPECIALLY annoying when you consider the main plot is about cherry picking the best bits of dinosaurs…GOD this movie kind of sucked in a way…

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/jurassic-world/

The final installment of the original ‘Naked Gun’ trilogy finishes off the series with a fine enough tone and vibe, though, maybe isnt *quite* as strong as the first two entries.

We pick up again, a couple of years on from the events of the last film, Frank and Jane are married and Janes got baby fever. Frank on the other hand has recently retired from the force, and a new life as a domestic goddess and house husband conflicts with his old ways of blasting baddies and keeping the city well stocked in justice!

Things reach a head when Jane confronts Frank about his recent lack of lovemaking, and his anxiety about becoming a Father, causing the couple to drift, things get even more complicated when the guys at Police Squad desperately try to get Frank back on the force for one more gig, Papshmir is back on the scene from the first film, and he has a devestating plan to rock L.A to its core, utilising the deadly femme fatale Tanya (Anna Nicol Smith) and criminal psychopath Rocco (Fred Ward) Frank must go undercover and get close to these criminals to find out what they’re up to, save the day one final time, and hopefully win Jane back for good!

And; this one does feel like a little bit of a step down for the series…kind of across the board. While there are multiple layers of comedy still present, the quality of the jokes is notably lower here, not so much so that this is a ‘bad’ comedy movie, this still is WELL ahead of a lot of more contemporary films, but it just feels a bit like the energy is running out of the series.

The multi layered foreground/background gags are reduced heavily here, they lean more on potty humour, sex jokes and some questionable race/trans gags which land in 2025 with a bit of a thud. But, counterbalancing that, the 3rd act of this film is probably some of the funniest of the series. The script is still fairly well written and the plot feels like a pretty decent sendoff for the characters. While overall; it may be the lesser of the trilogy, it still manages to really amuse me and I laughed pretty consistently throughout.

I dunno, I dont want to say they ‘dumbed down’ the series, because thats not quite right, but it feels like a series thats starting to drift a little bit off its moorings. It feels much more like a standard comedy fare for the time and a lot of the more memorable gags are just reworkings or redo’s of other Zucker comedy movies.

That being said, this is probably the best looking of the three films, It feels rock solid and the studio polish is definitely out on show. And; I cant honestly fault the casting either. They’re all still bringing their A-game and their performances are as good here as they are in any of the films, or the series honestly.

This is the Naked Gun movie im most familiar with, it was one of the first movies I got on DVD and I for me, its a total comfort movie. Though I can appreciate its maybe not quite as sharp as its predecessors, if Frank’s gonna bow out, bowing out on this; I’d still consider a High.

This is a great trilogy of films, and I’d definitely say they were more than worth your time.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/naked-gun-33-the-final-insult/

Hey…is that ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic!?

• The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!
• The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear
• The Naked Gun
• Naked Gun 33⅓: The Final Insult

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/list/the-naked-gun-films-ranked/

Was a sequel to ‘The Naked Gun’ one of the biggest studio ‘no brainers’ of our time? maybe. But hey, a good things a good thing, and ‘Naked Gun 2½’ continues the series with more of the same, more or less…

The plot picks up a year or so after the events of the first film, Frank and Jane are seperated after Frank was jilted at the alter by Jane who wasnt quite ready yet, and things are fairly morose, that is until a bomb attack happens at the facility of one Dr. Meinheimer, an environmental energy consultant whos set to deliver a key note speech to the president about recommending a move away from fossil fuels and into more eco friendly alternatives. Frank goes to investigate and who should be working with Dr. Meinheimer…But Jane.

The pair slowly start to rekindle feelings for each other, but a complication arises when its revealed Jane is now seeing one Quentin Hapsberg, the head of an evil energy kabal with a plan…and that plan is to kidnap Dr. Meinheimer and replace him with an identical stooge who’s going to promote the continued use of fossil fuels and oil!

With time running out Frank and the team go undercover to get to the bottom of the strange attacks or DIE trying…

And…If you wanted more of the same from ‘The Naked Gun’, this is pretty much that. The same variety and unrelenting sense of humour, the same pacing, same astounding cast…same…everything really, only OJ Simpson gets a bit more of a look in in this one, and he’s fun too!

I’d say pound for pound, while the first Naked Gun has more jokes land more consistently, Naked Gun 2 does have some misses, but also has stronger laughs than the first one…So I dunno, its kind of six of one, half a dozen of the other for me. I think (by a hairs whisker I might add) that I marginally prefer the first one over the second, but they’re both brilliant comedies really showcasing the peak of the genre at its finest. To the point that I cant really watch the first one, without watching the second.

Equally good in almost every way, if you really need cheering up. The Naked Gun 2’ll do yer just fine!

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/the-naked-gun-2-the-smell-of-fear/

The jump from TV to Film for ‘Police Squad!’ was probably one of the best decisions a comedy series has ever made. ‘The Naked Gun’ offers the same style and pace as the series, but with the enhanced budget and scope enabled by the studio and film medium, they were able to go much bigger and much dafter than even some of the biggest slapstick films of the period.

The plot see’s Frank engaged in an assassination attempt on the Queen of England while on a visit to the US, and if that wasnt enough, he’s also contending with drug dealers, a new love interest AND the risk of losing his badge…It all goes about as well as can be imagined.

This is, essentially a masterclass in comedy. Theres barely a 10 second window that goes by without SOMETHING happening, whether its word play, sight gags, innuendos, puns, full blown slapstick, surrealist humour, Stoogery, just clean cut jokes. If its a comedy style, its front and center present in this movie. But what REALLY sets this apart from other comedies of the time (apart from the callibre of the comedy, which is A+ in my opinion), is its dedication to layering that comedy and interweaving it throughout the film. They’re not just doing gags in the foreground, for most of the movie, if you check in the background you’ll find equally hilarious gags, be it sight gags, parodys, weird billboards. and THAT, is what sets it apart from others of its time. The fact that its SO intrinsically wired to fill every. single. shot with AT LEAST 2-3 gags both in the foreground and background of the shot, that it makes rewatching these films even better.

The pacings breakneck, the characters PERFECT pastiches of the old Noir and gritty cop series of the 50s and 60s. the humour is pretty much all killer no filler. I’ve seen this film now WELL over a half dozen times at this point and I STILL crack up like an idiot and some of the STUPIDEST gags here. Its a perfect reworking and modernising of the Vaudville routines that captivated audiences almost 50 years prior.

Directions solid, landing every joke with ease, but it also aids in the storytelling, helping create genuine drama at times, before dropping the floor on the audience for a good gut laugh. The cine is probably the only element i’d say is a bit wobbly, and despite the framing being comedically perfect and the sequences/edits being sound enough. there were just a few shots that felt a little misframed or wobbly to me…nothing to kneecap the film mind, just…the cine is something I feel has a bit of weakness to it.

The performances are superb with Leslie Nielsen absolutely aceing this role. He was great in ‘Airplane!’ he’s PERFECT here. honestly, no notes, I dont believe anyone in the industry at that time could have done this performance, its perfect. Priscilla Presley as Jane is a fantastic comic foil equally bringing a femme fatale element to proceedings, but goofing around just as hard as Nielsen, which is ABSOLUTELY a compliment here, she brings a perfect complimenting energy to the film that again, I dont think could have been topped at that time.

Add to this George Kennedy, O.J Simpson and Ricardo Montalban, who are equally incredible in a supporting role…AND the insanely brilliant score for this film (why they didnt use Franks intro theme in the new Naked gun I have NO idea…) and all in, this is a pretty incredible work, and probably the peak of the Zuckers film making abilities, I sincerely think this was likely their peak.

I have a lot of fond memories with ‘The Naked Gun’ Its a superb comedy, expertly crafted and seems designed intrinsically to crack a smile on almost anyones face. An absolute must see for any comedy fan in my opinion, and almost guarenteed to add some sun to even the rainiest of days.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/the-naked-gun-from-the-files-of-police-squad/

Whenever I watch any film, my first question really is; ‘Is this a film that can justify its own existence’, as in, if this film didnt exist, would I really be sad that it never got made. ‘Jurassic Park 3’ is a film where honestly, had it not been made, i’d have probably been 90 minutes richer.

The plots pretty straight forward Sam Neill returns as Dr. Alan Grant, 8 years on from the events of the first film and notably abscent barring a passing reference in the last film. Here? while he’s still largely doing the whole palentology thing, he’s really more of a fundraiser now than an active member of the field. travelling from campus to campus to give lectures on his theories on Veloceraptors using their throat muscles to communicate hunting instructions and updates to their pack…while also putting sly notes in that funding these researches would be infinitely benefitial to increasingly tepid crowds who are more interested in his experiences in Jurassic Park, or the events his coworker Dr. Malcolm experienced in ‘The Lost World’.

That is until a couple flag him down with a proposition, they wish to visit Isla Sorna as they claim to be thrillseekers looking for the next big thing to add to their extensive lavish lifestyles. They want Alan to effectively be their tour guide as they fly low over the island, to essentially see the animals and get a feel for the majesty of what could have been ‘Jurassic Park’. Alan refuses at first, but the couple offer him a blank cheque and eventually he reluctantly accepts.

Shortly after arriving at the island however, the pilot lets slip that they intend to land the plane, something Alan forbid as part of the terms of him accepting the tour guide role…he’s then promptly knocked out. When he wakes up, the planes landed, and its revealed that the couple who hired him misled him, they arnt a married couple of thrillseekers, they’re divorcees who lost their son 8 weeks ago when a boat trip with him on board skirted past Isla Sorna, got into difficulties and the paraglider he was attached to was seperated from the boat and crashed onto the island. They’ve essentially hired Alan to be their navigator as part of a rescue mission to get their son back.

Alan then promptly informs them that he has NO idea what the georgraphy of this island is, as he’s never been to ‘Island B’ before, and only had fleeting panicked experience with ‘Island A’…they get stubborn with him, but this is quickly put to one side when the landing strip is attacked by large dinosaurs, and on trying to escape, the plane is clipped by a T-rex, who cuts the fuel line, causing the plane to nose dive through the canvas and down into a revine…forcing the survivors to form a search party to try and find this couples son, locate ANY kind of communication tool, and once again; escape ‘The Lost World.’

I didnt really enjoy this one, the 90 minute runtime was probably the best part for me, as had this been 2 hours i’d have likely turned it off.

I enjoyed the original Jurassic Park, it was a fantasy, adventure film for the family that felt like a melding of ‘Jaws’ and ‘ET’ giving some rock solid action pieces, but largely focussing on complex characters working through their own problems and discovering that ‘life finds a way’ in many MANY different interpretations.

‘The Lost World’ I felt tried to capture that same energy, but with the lack of Laura Derne or Sam Neill and a stripping back of those more humourous ‘slice of life’ moments, it wound up feeling a bit dry and a bit bleaker than the original, which wasnt really what I wanted out of it.

Jurassic Park 3 seems to overcompensate and course correct in the opposite direction, taking the character complexities more or less out of the picture entirely, as it becomes a ‘we’re not so different you and I’ picture about parents trying to reclaim their children that I felt was very heavy handed, and all the nice interwoven character arcs and complexities are boiled down to a divorced couple of melts who I had absolutely no patience for, being tempered by Sam Neills Alan Grant.

We lose the wonder and charm of the first 2 films, and this is essentially just an all out survival action film that seems more interested in set pieces and chase sequences than it does about the smaller character moments that make you ACTUALLY give a damn about the people your watching.

The plot itself is a bit too daft for me, the idea that an top secret and heavily restricted island could have been compromised by ‘some guys in a boat’ and later by ‘a couple from oklahoma’ is a bridge too far for me to take this one seriously. It really screams ‘direct to video’ for me, and I really struggled to ratify the idea that this film shared a universe with the original.

The pacing is WAY too slow, its a 90 minute film that feels like its 120, they seem to think the action sequences will help push the film along, but they’re clunky, not particualrly well choreographed and felt forced in when things got a bit too dry. The tone is playing much more to just flat out comedy than the whimsy of life, but its not the best comedy in the world (if a gag about t-rex pee is your thing, then go right ahead) It felt at times like it was trying to just remake moments from the last 2 films, but on a significantly smaller budget and WAY more emphasis on CGI, and it just absolutely fails to capture that energy of the first two films. This at times, felt just like a generic monster movie from this period.

The act structuring is fine enough, though the 2nd act feels like it drags for an eternity, the characters are sanded off to be just the barest elements needed to give them one hermoginised character arc. The characters of Paula and Amanda Kirby are, for most of the runtime, just quite thick and unlikable people. and I get that their arc is them finding their son and learning that family is important, but the fact they willfully had 4 people killed and misled and assaulted a palientologist in order to GET that life lesson, I feel is both horrendous, and unearning of redemption. These were unlikable characters who got the ‘redemption’ ending for not really doing a whole lot, and It left me feeling by the time the credits rolled that they’d really missed a trick by not making them just…likable people.

Direction wise, it just feels like a generic monster movie, for 2001 its maybe still a bit ahead of the curve given its a studio picture. I dont think its inherently bad really. But the fight scenes feel messy, the chase scenes feel drawn out and an overeliance on CGI, which at this point in time was supposed to be a ‘WOW! See what we can do with modern tech?!’ has backfired SPECTACULARLY 24 years on, and now looks frankly hideous and painfully distracting for most of the runtime.

The cine is fine, but again, it feels almost like its relying on apeing the more memorable moments from the last 2 films to try and keep people on board, strip away the grander dino reveals that borrow from the other films and your left with a pretty slim set of okay shots, with maybe the Pterydactily sequence being the strongest of the pack. But its an underwhelming experience to say the least.

The edit also feels a bit over frantic at times, its hard to really get a read of what im supposed to be focussing on, and this is the kind of film where, when a thrilling action moment happens, rather than curate a select number of prime cuts for maximum impact, they seemingly just cut EVERY SINGLE B-ROLL clip they had into the sequence at 3 cuts a second. its disorienting, not helped by some of the bigger set pieces taking place at night or in heavy fog. Which makes it hard to even see whats really going on most of the time.

Performance wise, this is just Sam Neill’s show honestly, Dr. Alan Grant as a character was a good bonding agent for Laura Derne and Jeff Goldblum, here? he’s the best performer, and I think he does a fine enough job, but its clear this is really just a paycheque and a holiday for him. He delivers his lines belivably, he’s physically very present, but its not the same energy as the original Jurassic Park, and there are a quite a few moments where it felt like the energy needed to be high, and he DOES go high…but not high enough.

I love William H. Macy usually, but his turn here as Paul Kirby is just really not for me, I feel like theres just an element of personality, some kind of ‘good guy’ spin thats just missing from his performance here, and what we’re left with is just a guy who’s done a bad thing for selfish needs and doesnt really ever apologise for that. Same goes for Tea Leoni. The physical elements there, but I feel like had the pair of them played it with just a tinge of sincerity and desperation, rather than just a sense of a shrugging ‘well…we’re here now, so might as well do the thing we were explicitly told not to do!’ i’d have probably liked them more.

I think the funny thing for me in all of this was that Laura Dearne DOES return in this film as Ellie. But its clear they could only afford her for a day or twos shoot in one location, because she appears in one scene at the beginning of the film, she appears for collectively about 45 seconds near the end of the film, and at the VERY end theres a moment where clearly there should have been some kind of ‘sign off’ reunion with Dearn and Neills characters that just…never pays off. Shes a core mechanic in how the film resolves, the film spends a good chunk of the runtime setting up that Alan should thank her for her friendship and kindness over the years…and it just NEVER comes to anything. god bless her.

The soundtracks basically just tracks from the first 2 films with half a dozen new compositions that stick rigidly to John Williams original scorings…its meh, and again; really doesnt help the ‘direct to video’ accusations…

I first saw this film being illegally projected in the bar of an all inclusive hotel in Spain around 2004. the bar was full of screaming children, their were hornets everywhere and I could only hear every 4th word, and had to rely on the subtitle track running on a heavily faded screen in order to figure out what the hell I was even watching…and I had a more enjoyable time watching it then, than I did now. This film has aged like milk, I didnt really care for it, I probably wont watch it again for a long time unless fulfilling my duty as a caring partner. and I absolutely cant recommend it.

I totally understand why it was 14 years before another one of these got made.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/jurassic-park-iii/

I recall the time they found those fossilized mosquitoes
And before long, they were cloning DNA
Now I’m being chased by some irate velociraptors
Well, believe me, this has been one lousy day
Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark
All the dinosaurs are running wild
Someone shut the fence off in the rain
I admit it’s kinda eerie
But this proves my chaos theory
And I don’t think I’ll be coming back again
On, no
I cannot approve of this attraction
‘Cause getting disemboweled always makes me kinda mad
A huge tyrannosaurus ate our lawyer
Well, I suppose that proves
They’re really not all bad
Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark
All the dinosaurs are running wild
Someone let T. Rex out of his pen
I’m afraid those things’ll harm me
‘Cause they sure don’t act like Barney
And I think that I’m their dinner, not their friend
Oh, no
Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark
All the dinosaurs are running wild
What a crummy weekend this has been
Well, this sure ain’t no E-ticket
Think I’ll tell them where to stick it
‘Cause I’m never coming back this way again
Oh, no

1. Jurassic Park
2. The Lost World: Jurassic Park
3. Jurassic Park III

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/list/the-jurassic-park-films-ranked/