One of Al Lewis’s final big screen performances, ‘My Grandpa is a Vampire’, also known as ‘Moonlight’ is a big screen adaptation of a 5 part radio play and a US/New Zealand Co production…and thats…basically everything you need to know about the movie. Thanks for reading my review…

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…Oh, you want more? well…there isnt really anything else to say. The plot follow two of the most 90s kids you’ll ever meet in your life, one from New Zealand and the other from the US because…sure why not…as they travel around New Americazealand with their magic vampiric grandpa…at first the kids arnt 100% convinced he IS a vampire, but when he LITERALLY returns from the dead and explains that the vitality of the kids is all he needs to stay living and that he IS in fact a living breathing vampire…they go on a KERRAZY adventure to give the old man some new blood, while being hunted by one of the kids aunt and step-uncle who think he’s an abomination and should be destroyed.

This is the kind of movie that plays second fiddle to ‘Mac & Me’…let that set in for a moment. The script is PAINFULLY dull and is playing on kids movie architypes from well over a decade prior to this being made, the pacing is glacial, the humour is mostly completely flat, and when it isnt flat it borders the VERY innapropriate for a film predominantly involving kids.

The dialogues rubbish, the tones all over the place, trying to be funny, poingiant and thought provoking all at once. Al Lewis is LITERALLY the best thing in this movie, and he’s pretty past his ‘sell by’ at this point. Put it this way, if he wasnt in the movie, this thing would probably be a whole star lower. he isnt great, but I clung to that man through this movie like a survivor of the titanic.

The direction and cine were both a bit generic in places, but at least they bothered to experiment with coloured lighting and a few special effects shots land with a deafening thud that made me just laugh out of sheer embarrisment for all involved. Still; I’ll give it some credit, the lens caps off and someone clearly had a vision for how this thing was to look and feel. its oddly specific in that way, which is endearing.

The performances though…eesh. its a rough watch. When a ‘past his prime’ Al Lewis is the life raft in terms of acting quality in this film, you know your in for a rough time. NOONE sounds believable, moments of sadness are utterly bereft of feeling, the dialogue feels awkward and like a compromise between the NZ and US production offices. the weird combination of the two elements results in a film that feels like its two car transport trucks smashed into each other, and neither party knows their insurance details…and its raining.

Even the soundtracks painful. farting synthesizers trying their DAMNDEST to make the whole thing feel KOOKY and WILD! its horrifying…

This has got to be prime Rifftrax fodder if ever i’ve seen it, the fact they havent covered it means only one of two things…either they have too much respect for Al Lewis, or it would feel like they were punching down. I cant honestly say which one is more likely.

I wont go as far as to say it was a waste of 90 minutes, because there are some weird and funny moments VERY conservatively peppered throughout this movie, and technically, its on the level. Just…dont screen this thing near an open flame…Eesh.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/my-grandpa-is-a-vampire/