A weird one to watch post the removal of ‘Roe V Wade’, ‘Tomorrows Children’ is a Health/Scare film revolving around a potential dystopic future in which women can be sterilized simply for being criminals or having a family tree containing faulty genes.

The film itself came about as a bit of a warning piece as World War 2 was gearing up as Nazi Germany had began to impose sterilization on criminals and people with disabilities as a form of eugenics. This docu-drama(?) is basically taking this initial awful law change to it’s most over the top dramatic conclusion.

Im not going to lie, at a time now where women in the US and the UK have to fight tooth and nail for the right to be sterilized, Its quite interesting to see a film that plays on the opposite scenario, in which women fight for their right NOT to be.

However, the film itself wasnt really my cup of tea, the script (following a young woman who wants to start a family being ruled unfit to breed because of poor genetics in her family tree and forced into Sterilization) could have had the potential to be a real emotional journey and a good philosophical piece. Unfortunately; this film was made during the hayes code. So instead the majority of the script is the woman dispairing over the choices of the court while several men run around repeatedly saying ‘This is lunacy! we’ve got to stop it!’ With the end result being a rushed happy ending with noting of consiquence gained or lost.

the pacing is sluggish, the tone is overly censored. Its a surface level film that doesnt really offer much past its initial text crawl as we spend 55+ minutes with bland and uninteresting one note characters who really dont get up to much.

In fact, the main reason I rated this one more than 1 star is because, for a health/scare film from the early 30’s. This one actually doesnt look to bad, theres some decent cine on show with some interesting lighting and shadowing across the runtime, sequences are nicely cut together with some interesting experimentaiton on crossfades at times. and the Direction shows a clear competency for film making at a time when it wasnt *quite* as common knowledge as you’d think.

It looks nice, but it’s surface level interpretation of the issue combined with a general atmosphere of ‘Whataboutary?’ just makes this thing fall flat. It’s great reference material if you ever want to show off visually the best elements of 30s health movies. But as something you’d actually consiously choose to sit and watch, you can do so much better quite honestly.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/tomorrows-children/

Jesus christ.

No. Actually. Jesus Christ. I feel like I need a shower after this thing, and then my shower will need an intense deep clean

A frankly yucky movie that claims to be a docudrama advocating for the abolishon of Child marriage (which is still to this day legal in WAY more states than it should be) The reality is that ‘Child Bride’ is a viciously dark exploitation picture, ESPECIALLY for 1938 and even more so today.

With themes of violence, rape, molestation, murder and Child marriage and underage sex. Had it not been for the director Kroger Babbs VERY careful skirting of the hays code, this film would have been banned outright.

There isn’t really much more to say honestly, the script is mixed to poor on plot points, dialogue isn’t it’s sharpest point. The actual title plot of the film doesn’t kick in till about 15 minutes off the end. The characters are largely unlikeable or strange. There’s a lot of plot convenience throughout and the ending comes out of left field and feels rushed and forced.

The cine is somewhat solid, but it’s mired in a mix of issues ranging from terrible print quality which, with the best will in the world isn’t going to help how this thing looks, and really poor editing, which rushes cuts and feels slapdash to say the least.

This thing holds together better than a good chunk of the health and scare films that were produced around this time (its a more solid production than say ‘reefer madness’) but that really isn’t saying much. An awkward, deeply uncomfortable and hideously bleak Watch. Its not one I’ll be keen to revisit with relish any time soon.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/child-bride/

The ‘B-Feature’ on Kino’s “Reefer Madness” Bluray release. “Sex Madness” Is a pretty generic Health film warning of the dangers of Venerial Disease’s, particularly Siphilis.

And if you thought ‘Reefer’ was low budget…hoo boy, let me tell you…there IS no bottom of the barrel as far as this things concerned. What we have here is a 57(ish) minute long dramatization following a woman as she contracts the (then) deadly disease, gets mistreated for it and pays the ultimate price for…doing the right thing…I guess?

This ones kind of all over the place plot wise, we’re introduced to around a dozen characters in the opening 5 minutes, but the bulk of the film only really revolves around 2-3 characters past that. Its trying to put a simple message across ‘Practice safe sex and caution’ But because we’re in the hayes code era, they cant show anything other than light kissing and close dancing and the word ‘sex’ itself seems almost a taboo for most of the movies runtime.

As such, it becomes increasingly difficult to show the dangers of VD’s when the best they can muster are some poor quality sketches of Syphilitic sores and the use of ‘Marriage’ as a euphamism for bedroom antics.

That being said I do have to say, the film isnt averse to some VERY strange and entertaining decisions. Examples being all the men in this film being buried under what looks like 2lb’s of heavy makeup at all times. a raunchy lesbian couple in the opening act who myteriously vanish 10 minutes in and are never seen again, some terrifically campy acting and strange line delivery that raised a titter and some VERY choppy editing that makes Ed Wood feel like Scorsese.

The bulk of the film is low quality even by Poverty row standards with an overeliance on stock footage and foli effects to help pad the runtime. The film almost certainly would have been twice as engaging at half the runtime and this things about as basic looking as it comes.

In terms of ‘health films’ of this era, it’s not one of my favourites. Though I will give the film credit in the sense that it ends on a terrifically bleak and genuinely quite shocking point for the time, though with it being the 30’s it couldnt stave off a bolted on ‘happy’ ending for too long.

I’d say this was marginally better than ‘Reefer Madness’ in the sense that I think the plot holds together a little better and theres more entertaining moments to be had with it (even if ‘Reefers’ entertaining moments are grander and sillier…) This thing feels a bit more coherent alltogether, and while its still a bit of a plodder and isnt exactly ‘pushing the boundaries’ of cinema, it was entertaining enough that I didnt outright hate it.

Totally not essentail viewing, worth watching if you pick up Kino’s ‘Reefer’ bluray release. but otherwise. give it a miss.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/sex-madness/

I recently picked up a batch of Kino/Something Weird blurays and this was part of a double feature with ‘Sex Madness’…I’d seen the colourised version about 15 years ago in spotty ‘240p vision’ so I was curious to see if a HD screening would make for a better time.

Given its infamy, im pretty sure there isnt really a whole lot I could say about this that hasnt already been totally ground into the dirt multiple times by other critics. But this is basically one of the most infamous ‘Scare films’ of the 1930s and actually influenced State legislature around Weed and it’s criminalisation in the states. Which is all the more hilarious given just how factually innacurate this movie actually is when it comes to the effects of weed and it’s impact on people (though; to give them SOME credit…I dont even think the film makers could have foreseen just how much crime would come from criminalising it than regulating it…)

In either case, the films a total bust for me. What we have here is a 65 minute ‘play for today’ about the dangers of drugs. It has *SOME* good moments dotted here and there that are more entertainingly awful or funny for just HOW innacurate what they’re showing the audience is…but for the most part this is actually just a kind of dry and at times overly cheesy movie disguised as a health film, and not much else.

The characters are all bland ‘one size fits all’ types…which they had to be in order to better establish that ‘THIS SCENARIO COULD EVEN HAPPEN IN YOUR TOWN!!!’

The storylines vaguely interesting, but could have been twice as engaging at half the runtime. The pacings slow and plodding and the production work (broadly speaking) is poor, with a few choreographed scenes that did entertain being married up to sloppy cine, bad editing, poor quality sound recording at times meandering and confusing dialogue and inconsistent direction for both the cast and the team behind the camera in exactly what they wanted to show.

To put it bluntley…(heh…’blunt-ly’) To me at least? this is a movie thats coasted mainly on it’s infamy in terms of its exaggerations, and barring two or three sequences across the whole runtime where things DO get a little crazy or ‘out there’ its actually kind of boring for the most part. it’s largely actors dancing, rehersing shakespere or acting a bit shifty for 50 minutes of the runtime and not much else.

I’d say purely for it’s infamy in bad movie circles that it’s worth catching this film at least once. It’s mercifully short at 65 minutes and, for me personally; I’d say if you can find a high quality copy of the colourised version (which looks putrid and hideous and frankly delightful for a film like this) I’d go for that over the Black and White version. It just gives the film a bit more character and edges it ahead of the original release in my opinion.

If your interested in old PSA’s or scare films from the time, or you move in bad/cult movie circles and want to brush up on your history, check this one out. If your non of the above, steer well clear. it’s a slog. And all the bits worth seeing have (conveniently) been supercut into a 5 minute video on youtube. Which would more than save you time.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/tell-your-children-1938/

Without question, one of the stupidest; dullest, weirdest movies i’ve had the misfortune to sit through. ‘Trick or Treats’ is perfect viewing for the individual who likes their films surface level and stuck in a single gear for the entire runtime.

I wish I was kidding when I say that the film is just over 80 minutes long and consists of 70 minutes of a babysitter being repeatedly pranked by an obnoxious little runt of a kid who’s into magic and joke shop gags, intercut with footage of a guy escaping an insane asylum and S L O W L Y making his way to the kids house. with 10 minutes essentially amounting to the most half hearted slasher movie i’ve seen in a good while.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot, they detour occasionally the asylum where the guy escaped from…but it doesnt lead anywhere. For a brief window they cut to an editing room to watch to editors cut a film together…that adds nothing to the film. This things a time sink. a way to effectively kill 82 minutes and LITERALLY have nothing to show for it.

The scripts locked in that single gear of:

*Babysitter goes looking for kid.
*Kid pranks Babysitter with very dull gag.
*Babysitter gets mad and asks kid politely to stop
*Kid runs off and goes quiet for a bit, leading to Babysitter looking for him.

Repeat that about 8 or 9 times and you’ve got this movie to a tee. tonally its got a bit of a campy streak running through it which is quite welcome, the dialogues atrocious to the point I actually kind of find it mesmorising and the characters themselves are all either fairly air headed or just dreary and unlikable. The pacing is one not across the runtime right up until the final 10 minutes when it suddenly ups the ante a little bit (but not enough to make it worth your time) and the extended sequences of our Babysitter wandering around the house, occasionally answering the door to trick or treaters is mind numbing to say the least.

the directions not *too* bad. they have managed to get camera and lighting to work together fairly well, the cast are a little stiff in front of the camera and dont utilise their set space as much as I’d have personally liked. But it looks professional enough and the distinct 80’s ness of the whole thing kind fo endeared me a little bit too it. The director here clearly had a specific vibe in mind for how this was going to look and feel and It made me oddly nostalgic to see these early 80s setups, colour schemes and lighting choices in action here.

The cine too isnt too bad either, shots are a bit on the basic side, but they’re composed pretty solidly, have a good amount of moody or semi interesting lighting and its got a good amount of B-roll under its belt which really helps bring the sequences together.

While the edit isnt the greatest in the world (I personally felt it was a little bit slack with some scenes rolling on a bit too long and some cuts being a little too soon) the B-roll doesn significantly help smooth the sequences over and the use of oranges and blues in the colour sceme choices does help give it a bit of a boost in terms of quality output. Its not winning any awards any time soon. But for a vibe; it’s on the right track.

Our cast, if anything, deliver EXACTLY what the director had in mind. It’s just a shame that what he had in mind were extreme personalities that clash like lemon juice and milk. Our Babysitter here is WAY too meak and mild in allowing Chistopher (our kid for this feature) to get away with the pranks he does. and that performance, while on point for what the script is trying to convey, is TERRIBLY irritating when you actually have to sit through it.

Christopher is annoying in the script and is played perfectly here, giving Alan from ‘Return to Sleepaway Camp’ a run for his money in terms of ‘Annoying characters I wish I wasnt aware of’. I dont often comment on child actors, but the kid playing christopher here really does go above and beyond in portraying christopher as rambunctious and SO annoying in equal measure. I think he nailed the brief. Even if i am suffering for it.

throw in…what im guessing is a half hearted attempt at a score (its tinny synth pangs intermixed with some gentle 80’s reimagining of 50’s rock and roll style twanging) and you have a film that…as a work of cinema, is downright abominable. with an irritating cast, weird visuals and a script that would test the patience of most, its up there; not as a bad movie, but as a pointless one. It neither gives nor takes away. it just exists.

In that sense its a FANTASTIC ‘head empty’ movie. The kind of thing you put on when your doing other things and just need some background noise you occasionally check into. In THAT sense this is good fun! Because realistically, what you have here is about 25 minutes worth of story stretched out to 82 minutes and if you DO decide to drift in and out of it, you’ll absolutely still know whats going on, but you wont have to worry about missing any crucial plot points…BECAUSE THERE ARNT ANY!

In short, one I cant recommend in good faith. But if your looking for TV noise. absolutely give it a check in, in that sense its great fun.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/trick-or-treats/

Another one on my ‘Always wanted to watch, never quite got round to…’ list ‘Death Spa’ has a neat little idea that asks the question ‘What if ‘The Boogie Man’ had taken place in a health spa and gym, rather than a countryside back water home?

Well…It wasnt *quite* as good as i’d hoped for, but if your in the market for a fairly gory and at times *over the top* supernatural horror film with a SUPER heavy 80s flare. Then this one is right up your ally.

The basic plot is nothing out of the unusual, the new owners of a health spa and gym start to feel uneasy when a string of inexplicable deaths hit the new business around the same time that one of the business owners begins dating a new woman a year to the day after his wifes unfortunate demise.

The scripts a little on the lumpy side truthfully, the first act is a bit of a chugger to get going, but it builds up a decent steam behind it in terms of intricate death sequences and plot development. it seems to idle at this level for most of the 2nd act until it erupts with life in the closing 20 minutes. going from a fairly by the numbers slasher piece to something all together more extroadinary that reminded me of the end of ‘Prom Night’ and ‘Carrie’ but WAY more extreme in tone and style.

pacings a little all over the place, the murder sequences arnt very well worked into the script, it almost feels like the writers knew the film was getting a bit dialogue and plot heavy so they just hard cut a death scene in there every 15 minutes or so to stop people drifting off.

The plot itself is almost kind of inconsiquetial. theres a police investigation, and awkward romance/revenge plot line and a bit of a ‘whodunnit’ going on, but non of them really grabbed me and a lot of it felt faily by the numbers for the genre. Not helped by the fact that all the characters are woefully underwritten in terms of depth or personality and most of them feel almost interchangable in terms of what their actual function is in the movie.

The film also struggles a little bit in setting it’s tone because of all the dialogue scenes and heavy styalisation on hand. its clearly a campy horror movie. But it doesnt seem to know exactly HOW campy it wants to be. As such it kind of rides the line between a somewhat serious movie that just has a few campy moments sprinkled throughout, and a full blown camp super fest with scenery chewing to the nth degree. I liked the film when it chose a lane, because at least then it was more concise…but I struggled with the moments where I felt uncertain as to whether the film wanted to genuinely scare me or make me laugh.

While the script itself is a little uninspired, its really the direction and cine that helps save this thing. While the cast are a little lifeless plot wise; director Michael Fischa has been able to at least get them utilising their set space well and has coached them reasonably on how to deliver the lines with conviction and charisma. They might not be saying much interesting, but at least they’re saying it with STYLE!

this is a quite styalised piece and I feel like Fischa has managed to really bring his vision to life here. the camera team, lighting and the cast are all working in relative harmony, theres a distinct level of professionalism on creating this vision and with a decent sized effects budget theres a lot of scope here for crazy over the top gory effects and interesting use of camera tools such as rigs and jibs. a lot of this film visually feels like a professional production. Which is always a good sign.

Same goes for the cine, with pretty solid compositional choices across the runtime getting some really nice pieces combined with some more than decent lighting choices with cool blues, neon pinks and oranges REALLY getting to set the tone and scene of this thing to, what i’d say was mixed to decent success.

What DOES trip this thing over however is the editing unfortunately, which is lacklustre to say the least. sequences are problematic, with some scenes having weird cuts that seem to miss out chunks of the action (it feels like additional B-roll was planned to be shot and then the budget ran out as 2 shots that shouldnt cut together are suddenly rammed into each other) theres a couple of line fluffs here and there which take the professional edge off and bizarrely; contrasting the sequences where it feels like theres B-roll missing. We have sequences where it feels like TOO MUCH B-roll was captured and that they’re trying to cram in as many shots as they can.

it all results in an edit that takes some pretty decent footage and just…throws it in the trash for a good 70% of the runtime. it makes what looks like a fairly competent film and makes it feel like its some kind of ‘salvage’ job where they’ve had to reconstruct missing scenes with whatever footage was available. Its really odd.

The cast are pretty unremarkable too, which is another big dissapointment here. Ken Foree is probably the most likeable character of the bunch here playing a supporting role as a technician and security expert at the gym called Marvin. But even he feels like he’s phoning it in and the rest of the cast are poorer still. which is a real shame.

Oh. and I dont have much to say on it, but the soundtracks pretty cool. its generic 80s electro rock and pop with a bit of an aerobics/workout tone. it’s cool. I didnt fall head over heels for it, but it was one of the better lower budgeted scores i’ve heard.

All in all? I’d watch this again, I think it’d pair up quite well with something like “Phantom of the Mall: Erics Revenge” or “Night of the Demons” as a bit of a paranormal double header. But realistically; it’s not an essential watch, and it isnt enjoyable enough outright to get a full blown rec. Its fun in places, and the 3rd act is what really saves it…But its a problematic movie that I feel could have done with another draft or two to really nail it.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/death-spa/

Initially drawn to this documentary due to my love of all things VHS, I went into ‘Recorder’ with a preset expectation on what I was getting myself into, and was somewhat pleasently surprised by what it ACTUALLY was about.

Y’see, while I knew that the documentary was largely dealing with the total visionary that was Marion Stokes, I had been led to believe that the emphasis for this doc would be on the content found on the 70 thousand+ VHS tapes that Marion recorded over the 35 year window she pretty much non stop recorded through. with her life being used as lynchpin moments to support the obscure footage.

Instead, the doc is actually more about Marion the person, who she was, her life, her interests and the somewhat eccentric life she lived as she tried to collect and preserve as much knowledge as physically possible in the pre internet era, as told by her carers, friends and family. With the footage acting more as a lynch pin to punctuate and set the scene of the time we’re dealing in than being the centerpiece.

And while im a little dissapointed that the documentary didnt really dig that deep into the archive in terms of public access broadcasting, local advertisements, local news broadcasts and other strange televisual oddities. I was ultimately won over by the story of a woman who valued knowledge above all other costs leading to a life of isolation, but ultimately one of vast VAST cultural preservation.

I feel the way this is structured is a little lopsided. While the story of Marion is a solid and emotional piece, they do end up jumping around in time a little bit to try and add context to what we’re seeing. While that does help the narrative, it did become difficult after a time to figure out exactly when certain events were supposed to have happened. Particularly when it gets into family details.

It does however manage to make for a compelling viewing piece, the use of the archive news segments really help add a sense of weight to the 35 years she did this and by the end of it, despite her being a incredibly private person, I did feel I got to know her fairly well.

The editing really is the saving grace for this documentary honestly, while the interview segments can wander a little bit, some keen cinematography and well timed cuts and arrangements of footage do ultimatley tie this thing up into a neat and tidy package that looks great and felt quite informative.

While the ending as of 2023 is something of a downer (given the current ongoing legal battles that are plaguing the internet archive) its still a very optimistic documentary that I could recommend for its charm and interesting subject matter. I really do wish however, given how much they reference it in the doc itself, that they’d shown more local broadcasting deep cuts…In either case, this is totally worth checking out.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/recorder-the-marion-stokes-project/

‘The Deadly Spawn’ had been on my ‘to watch’ list for well over a decade, but finding a copy of it (in the UK at least) has always been a bit of a pain…But! with my subscription to ‘Shudder’ coming to an end, I decided to mop this one up in (less than steller) streamed SD quality.

The plots pretty basic, an alien lifeform crashes to earth on a meteor and hides out in a families basement, picking off members of the family one by one. When the teenage son of the family (a scientist in training) finds one of the infant life forms scuttling about, him and his friends decide to investigate the creature. and in doing so quickly realise the situation is much more serious than they initial thought, and certainly much more DEADLY.

Based on the trailers i’d seen for this movie, I had somewhat high hopes going into it, indeed; the film does really impress with its puppetry of the titular ‘deadly spawn’ and with its gore effects, model work and lighting. But that, for me at least is kind of where the compliments begin and end.

Even clocking in at 81 minutes long, this thing feels bloated. With only a couple of more interesting horror/action sequences happening across the first two acts and nothing particularly astounding taking place till we’re AT LEAST 50 minutes in.

The opening starts of solid enough, but it quickly gets bogged down in long conversations that arnt particularly charismatic and dont particularly add much beyond basic character notes.

the pacing is a bit all over the place which creates an uneven experience. With one noteable scene being shortly after our cast capture an infant version of the creature. theres an elongated chat about what exactly to do with it. These kinds of scenes are commonplace in this kind of movie. But they’re usually reserved to the second act, with the first act establishing the characters and throwing some thrills in to ensure the viewer sticks around. here, that scenes in the middle of the first act and it slows things to a crawl for a good 10 minutes.

The movie DOES manage to pull itself together in time for a rip roaring 3rd act showdown. But its all a little late and im not sure movie go-ers would have stuck through the 60 odd minutes of inaneness to get to this point.

The film also kind of struggles with what kind of tone it wants to set. It cant decide whether its a completely straight cut sci-fi monster movie ala ‘The Thing’ or ‘XTRO’ or whether it’s got a bit more of a comedic edge to it. As such it almost feels kind of lost for a good chunk of the runtime as to exactly what it wants me to feel and how it wants me to react. It kind of ends up putting out nothing strong enough to help define it. The promotional materials for the movie suggest its a campy bloody movie. But it isnt nearly as fun as you’d think.

The direction too is kind of middle of the road. It gets the job done fine enough, but some of the cast seem a little lost on where to stand and how to work with their set space and lines, some of the sequences really lack a punch and it just kind of feels like a film that worked with ‘good enough’ for the non effects driven scenes, overly relying on the effects and puppets to really try and do the heavy lifting for the picture.

the cine is probably the films strongest element. while composition for the most part is fairly by the numbers, it at least has a veil of professionalism about it, and as mentioned the effects shots and puppeteering throughout are fantastically good fun. with some really well shot and lit effects that are over the top, bloody and genuinely impressive given the size and scale of the production. If nothing else the film stands out for some top notch effects work here.

The edits kind of bland, sequences tell the story well enough, but because the general composition work is kind of ‘mid’ it means the edit can only really do so much, and a lack of solid B-roll footage to allow a more fluid edit really does let this thing down at times.

The cast are all pretty competent, there was noone who ACTIVELY underperformed. they all deliver their lines well enough and they do seem to get into the part fine. It did just kind of leave me wishing for more though.

Realistically, I could see this being a pretty solid B-picture to something like ‘Return of the living dead’ something you put on at the end of the night after a few beers with friends. While the effects work is genuinely very impressive for a film of this calibre, the script, cine and direction broadly are kind of lacklustre and while I didnt actively dislike this one. Now that i’ve seen it, i’d probably not choose to watch it again. maybe as a double feature or as part of a marathon…But on its own? No.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/the-deadly-spawn/

Watched on Saturday August 5, 2023.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/barbie/1/

In tribute to the late Paul Reubens I decided to dust off my old copy of ‘Big Adventure’ for a bit of a nostalgia fest.

Honestly there’s not a lot that need be said about this film. We have an eccentric and manic script, a joint effort of Reuben and the late great Phil Heartman that’s bonkers, punchy, frighteningly fresh several decades on from its release and the perfect antidote to blow away the blues.

The direction is an early effort from Tim Burton and while lacking in his distinct style, there are early signs of it fermenting in the background of this picture.

We have studio grade cine present here which does a fine job of setting a standard. But the dream sequences and use of stop motion claymation in places really is what helps take this to the next level.

The edits tight with solid cuts and transitions that help keep things zipping along at a decent pace. I’d argue the film slows down a bit in the 3rd act. I could easily see 5-10 minutes being lopped out of that act to really help cement things further. But even the slacker moments of this production are still quite good fun to sit through.

That’s not even mentioning Reubens performance. A storm on a bicycle, Pee wee Herman arrives on screen fully formed and ready for action. With a supporting cast of kooky characters that should enthrall kids and mystify adults. A clean work of new wave cinema arriving right at the peak of the genre.

Throw in a killer Danny Elfman Score that REAKS of ‘peak of their game’ Oingo Boingo, and you have an at times mystifying, but certainly never full movie experience that I really need to rewatch more often quite honestly. Definitely worth checking out.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/pee-wees-big-adventure/