So…we’re now at the point where we’re asking the question ‘What if Hellraiser, But ACTUALLY ‘Carnival of Souls’ by way of ‘Fight Club’…And about halfway into this film I lamented to my partner that only a week or so ago we were enjoying ‘Hellbound: Hellraiser 2’ and all the wonderful mysterious etherialness that came with it.

And now here we are, crashing through the world of DTV, where originality is beyond the attention of the morgue and the absolute BEST we can hope for is a couple of half decent performances and the feint FEINT hope that the tribute act this film is trying to make will at least stick the landing…and by the barest of threads, I think this film manages it.

‘Hellraiser: Hellseeker’ is the 6th entry in the Hellraiser series, and we’ve now pretty much settled into the ‘Freddys Nightmares’ approach to the cenobites…I.E, that 90% of the story is a standalone tale of a persons excesses leading them down a dark and dangerous path, ultimately leading to the final 10% of the story, which is a handful of shots of pinhead scattered across the runtime, leading to a final confrontation where the great spikey git appears through the mists of a creaking set in the style of a reveal from ‘Stars in their Eyes’, to essentially tell the victim EXCATLY why they’ve ended up in front of Pinhead, in such a way that reveals that there was in fact VERY little way anyone could have really guessed what was going on.

‘Hellseeker’ specifically has a fundamental flaw that i’ll get to shortly…But the plot is the first film Since ‘Hellbound’ to try and tie things back to our first ‘Final Girl’ of the series, Kirsty Cotton. As we open with Kirsty fooling around with her husband of 5 years ‘Trevor’ when…after getting a little TOO hot and heavy on the highway, their car careers off a bridge into the fridgid lake below, killing Kirsty and putting Trevor in the hospital with severe amneisa and memory loss.

Released from the hospital, the detectives want to know EXACTLY whats gone on, but Trevor has no idea…Kirsty’s body hasnt been recovered from the wreckage and the best Trevor can muster up is some vague flashbacks to their 5th anniversairy celebrations, and an encounter with a mysterious man offering him a mysterious box that could lead to both his AND Kirstys life vastly improving…

As Trevor tries to work his way back to normality, he quickly finds that his intepretation of reality may not be entirely accurate, he keeps bouncing around multiple different scenarios and moments. One minute he’s riding the night bus home, next he’s being grinded on by his boss in lengerie, next the girl from down the hall is trying to have sex with him…then his accupuntural therapist…and mixed in all amongst this, we have scenes of cenobites tormenting and torturing both Trevor and some of his close friends, feint memories of him and Kirsty together that dont always quite align. and a constant feeling like he’s forgotten something critical…Something that would make all of this make sense…something ominous…that may in fact be better left in the darkest recesses of his mind…something terrible thats about to turn Trevors world completely upside down and give him revelations he could have never conceived.

I’ll get my biggest gripe out of the way here, and its the script. It. drags. ASS. it is SO slow, painfully slow, glacially slow. its slow, and because they’re trying to play with the ‘Fight Club’ mechanism of showing the audience scenes which may be real, may only be happening in Trevors head, or may be the Cenobites screwing with Trevor. it means that everything we see happen MAY be real…or may be totally false…which, on paper may read like an intreaguing process…Until you realise that if you dont ground your unreliable narrator into at least SOME basic world lore…you end up with a film where I as the viewer dont feel like ANY of it matters…because it could ALL be a false narrative, just as much as it could all be true.

They dont clarify anything until about 10 minutes off the end of the film when they put all their cards on the table finally, and just…flat out tell the audience what was real, and what wasnt. And thats a problem for me, because…This isnt a film trying to get the audience to figure out whats going on. It isnt trying to tease the narrative, it isnt even really breadcrumbing. Its just showing us a load of random scenes and then at the end going ‘Ah! THESE scenes were REAL!!!’ before cutting to black. and thats awful storytelling, because why would I want to invest 89 minutes of my time into a film where realistically, the only stuff that ACTUALLY matters is the opening 10 minutes or so, and the final 10 minutes or so.

It creates a film thats pretty much ‘Burn after reading’ because once you’ve seen it once from start to finish and understand what they’re ACTUALLY trying to do, I can say confidently that you might get ONE more watch out of this thing, just to see if you can notice the things you missed the first time…and then its basically unwatchable for how much of the audiences time it wastes.

The films INCREDIBLY horny. But not in a ‘Hellraiser’ 1 or 2 way…a classy way…No. this is ‘Skinimax’ terratory, with fully clothed dry humping and blink and you’ll miss it boob shots…and thats about it. Their must be at least 4 or 5 sex scenes in this film. and again, it just reminded me of the sex scenes in the first couple of movies, where they were delicately peppered in to give the audience an idea of the intensity of the relationship between Frank and Julia…here, it feels cheap and seedy. Basically just here because otherwise the film quite literally WOULD be sedentary and incoherent.

The characters are all fairly one note for most of the runtime. Trevor probably gets the meatiest character development…But he essentially has 3 moods, bewildered, sad…and later in the film, when he finds out whats ACTUALLY going on…angry. and thats about it. the rest of the cast are horny inserts…or corporate inserts…and thats all their is. Even the dialogues just awkward and stilted. Reading like what a teenager would imagine ‘angsty’ and ‘edgey’ would ACTUALLY be like.

The act structurings a mess, again, the first and last 10 minutes of the movie. No notes, they’re pretty solid…but the remaining 69 minutes? incoherent ramblings that ride pretty much the same level across the runtime. In fact, this almost feels like a beat for beat reworking of ‘Hellraiser: Inferno’ to some extent…Only, instead of the lead character being an out and out ass. Instead we here have a character whos sad, confused and looking for meaning…while the implications lead to a darker past.

Direction wise, it again feels like ‘Hellraiser: Inferno’ we have David Fincher inspired moody lighting and tribute style framing and directional choices within the edit and performance choices. Nothing offensively bad, but nothing particularly groundbreaking. Again, it hurts me to see this series nosedive so hard, so quickly.

The cine again…is fine. I dont feel they quite manage to do the cenobites justice here, they cut around them quite frequently and the lighting doenst really compliment their presence…I assume they just…Didnt think the costumes were very good and decided to hide them by keeping them in low lighting and showing as little of them as possible.

Sequences are built fine enough for DTV, but theres a definite whiff of phoning it in across the board, it doesnt have heart, it doesnt have that creative flow…It feels like someone went to the movies over a long weekend, saw a load of cop dramas and psychothrillers and just…decided to borrow some of the best bits for this movie…with mixed to poor results.

Performance wise, We’re pretty much with Dean Winters as Trevor for the full runtime…and he’s fine. Not outstanding, not remarkable…he does a fine enough job as the lead in a cop infused horror thriller DTV, he gets through his lines fine enough, his physical presence is fine enough. He’s watchable.

To be completely honest, I was happier to see Ashley Laurence back as Kirsty, and although she only appears in the movie via flashbacks. She did end up having a meatier role than I expected, and again, she’s pretty decent. Honestly, the best parts of the movie are scenes with her and scenes with her and Winters. Its such a shame this is only really a cameo for the most part…

Doug Bradley is in this movie in a duel role for approximately 10-15 minutes of screentime. He’s clearly bored by this point, they arnt really giving him any good material to work with, he doesnt really do much…I know he’s capable of great things, but…to excuse my language. He’s dealing with a case of ‘Shit in, Shit out’, and this kind of marks the beginning of him really firmly trying to leave the franchise, but then being dragged back in for one reason or another.

The musics ‘MiDi-fied’ orchestral gumpf, with a little bit of rock and drone thrown in for good measure. its nowhere near as good as the first two films score…But its SO much better than ‘Hellraiser III’ or ‘Inferno’…

All in all, Hellraiser: Hellseeker is a frustrating watch, because it opens strong and the ending is probably the strongest the series has been since ‘Hellbound’, but you have to wade through over 60 minutes of absolute drivel and garbage to get there. This could have been an incredibly good short film, something for the fans to get a bite of. But instead, its an overly bloated, underfunded and badly managed waste of time for the most part. Not the worst that the series has spit up yet…I COULD actually see myself rewatching this one. But we are NOT in Kansas anymore Toto…

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/hellraiser-hellseeker/

An interesting experiment, ‘Phantasmatapes’ is a special effort from Bleeding Skull to recreate the vibe and feel of the old 80s ‘late night horror’ slots on TV, presented in ‘Warm Fuzzy Glow’ VHS vision. The idea is simple enough, take two public domain movies (In this case; ‘The Revenge of Dr. X’ and ‘The Brain that wouldnt Die’) and recut, remix, rescore and represent these films using mixed media and experimental feedback techniques. and, I think the end result is both charming, interesting…But also not quite what i’d hoped for.

Based on the pitch for this film, I went in expecting a bumper length feature totalling around 90-110 minutes that tried to recreate the late night horror show vibe, with maybe a few modern twists and turns thrown into the mix to keep me on my toes…Instead, the entire feature runs to 72 minutes long (shorter than the shortest film featured on this set by 10 minutes) and realistically, probably isnt the best way to experience these movies.

I had seen ‘The Brain that wouldnt Die’ multiple times before watching this, but I hadnt seen ‘Dr. X’ before. and the way this film handles the features is to heavily HEAVILY truncate them down to about a third of their original feature running length, and using feedback experimentation and the scoring, they attempt to bridge large gaps in the narrative.

As a result, I found myself really struggling to follow ‘Dr. X’ as I feel they chopped WAY too much out to really make it make much sense, and the experimentation at times overrides all the visuals onscreen. meaning by the end of it, I felt like I had a vague idea of what the plot was, but really; it felt like I hadnt been shown enough to know what was going on. Luckily with ‘Brain’, because I HAD seen it plenty of times before, I was able to fill in the gaps, and as a result I had a much more pleasent time with that one.

4 or 5 times across the runtime, we also get treated to some commercial breaks, which again is nice…but does yield some mixed results. their were ads I really liked, that felt bizarre and hit the right tone of what I was looking for, there were some ones that felt a bit dull. on the whole I think it was okay, but that kind of leads me to my biggest problem with this release.

Having the entire feature run to 72 minutes (including commercials) results in it feeling more like a ‘vibe’ watch than anything I could actually see myself sitting down to watch again…It felt like the kind of movie that runs quietly in the background of a party to help create a sense of atmosphere…While not actually being something I think i’d conciously choose to sit and watch again.

I feel like the films really should have been 45 minutes a piece, with maybe 10-15 minutes of commercials/bumpers/station IDs and other goodies intercut. I feel like the films were cut down too threadbare and needed just a bit more narrative tipping back in to steady the ship, and I feel like the commercial sections needed more consistency in their utilisation, and maybe even a bit more variety. I enjoyed the goofy ads, but what makes the ads feel distinct and weird is when they’re contrasted with just fairly normal commercials. It kind of broke the illusion that this was supposed to be a ‘late night off air recording’ because everything was way too lean and concentrated.

I didnt hate ‘Phantasmatapes’ But I dont think it’ll be one that I put in regular rotation, I could in fact see myself being more likely to pull this off my shelf for the extras (including clean full length VHS versions of ‘Brain’ and ‘Dr.X’ alongside upscaled VHS oddities like ‘The Max Headroom Incident’) than for the main feature itself.

That being said, I believe they are planning a volume 2 in this set, and I feel if they let this thing breath just a little more and paced out the commercials a little better. This could become a firm favourite series for me. So…this one’ll probably go on the shelf for now…but i’ll be keeping an eye on it.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/phantasmatapes/

Over a somewhat divided room, we made the decision tonight to check out the sequel to ‘Insidious’, quite decently titled ‘Insidious: Chapter 2’ I wasnt a huge fan of the first one, I didnt hate it, but I felt like it basically did the legwork so that ‘The Conjuring’ could pretty much perfect the format ‘Insidious’ was trying to work up. My partner on the other hand had a real soft spot for the first one, and today was her day to pick a movie, so; we carried on.

This entry picks up maybe a couple of days to a week after the events of the first film. Elise is dead, Josh is a prime suspect in a murder case and Renai, who has every faith in her husband, is starting to have some doubts. Josh hasnt been quite right since the events of the last film, and its pretty much confirmed more or less straight away that the being inhabiting Josh’s body ISNT Josh…

Meanwhile, the Lambert family move AGAIN into ANOTHER new house, Joshes mothers place, and ghosts and demons once again begin to plague the place. Josh tries his best to convince Renai that its all in her head, but soon it becomes to much to ignore.

Meanwhile Elises assistants from the first film visit her former home and stumble on an archive of VHS tapes covering most of her time as a paranormalist medium. and by a chance accident they stumble on a tape from the mid 80s featuring one Josh Lambert. THIS is footage of the visit Elise had to the Lambert house back in the 80s that Josh is told he had his memories wiped of in the first film…the pair start taking a closer look and find something shocking.

Enter ‘Carl’, Elises former paranormal partner in crime, who holds ‘dice seance’ basically he has a load of dice with letter on them, he asks a question, rolls the dice and the answer will be spelled out if theres a presence there. Carl gets summoned to Elises place urgently with dire news. On Carls arrival the assistants sit him down and play the tape of Josh, only its been slightly enhanced…Why is the tape a concern? Because standing in the background of the shot, too dim to see on the original footage, but visible when enhanced, is the future version of Josh watching his past self.

Carl consults the dice that give him a clue, which is transcribed by Joshes mother Lorraine to mean an abandoned hospital that Lorrain used to work at, and a terrifying mystery surrounding the story of a man named ‘Parker Crane’ comes to light…that could have dire consiquences for all involved, both living…and dead.

Quick caption review of this one; I liked it marginally more than the last one. Its literally more of the same across the board, my original reviews points pretty much stand once again for the entirity of this film, so rather than rehash them, i’ll just point you to my original review, but my thoughts there, were more or less the same here; and if your up for ‘more or less more of the same’ then your quids in here pal!

The reason I actually like this one a tiny bit more is 3 specific reasons:

1 – The pacings a little bit quicker, it still has a lot of moments of glacial pacing, but its quicker to get going with the monster show, it really revs up a lot sooner than the first film, and I found most of the resolutions to be fairly satisfying.

2 – Theres a significantly lower reliance on Jumpscares. The first film I felt really ONLY had jumpscares to work with, this film draws a bit closer to a supernatural slasher film, which gave it a lot more to work with in terms of styles and types of horror. Which endeared me to it quite a bit more. Its still a LOT of jumpscares for one movie, which is a bit of a shame, but at least we have some variety here…

and 3 – Despite the plot of this film going off to crazy and strange places, I actually felt that it was a bit more coherent than the first film. It actually wants to tell a more in depth story than just ‘people being kind of haunted sort of…or are they?’ Here its essentially a paranormal slasher for the vast majority of the runtime with a hint of science fiction thrown into boot. I find aesthetically its much more pleasing. and the tone is more consistant.

Once again, I cant say I out and out loved this film, but I appreciated the fact it tried to do something a bit more interesting in this entry. and I almost certainly think it’s better than the first film for it. Unfortunately you would likely have to watch the first film to fully understand and appreciated everything that happens int his entry. But! If they continue on this path, then i’ll be REALLY excited for ‘Chapter 15!’

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/insidious-chapter-2/

The first ‘Hellraiser’ film to not involve Clive Barker (the studio actually BANNED him from having any input on this film), the first ‘Hellraiser’ film NOT to be released in theaters, and from here on in, im on ‘first time viewings’ till the end of this franchise. All I knew about ‘Hellraiser: Inferno’ was that it featured cops trailing some ‘bizzare murders’ I figured; ‘Well; that cant be all bad!’…By the way, have you seen any of David Finchers movies between 1995 and 2000?…just checking…

‘Hellraiser: Inferno’ is the first (but certainly NOT the last) entry into this franchise to be heavily rumoured to be a retroactive ‘refit’ of a script stuck in development hell. The rumour goes that the Weinsteins hired a writer, who took an old rejected supernatural cop script HEAVILY inspired by ‘Se7en’, but changed…whatever supernatural element was supposed to be in THAT script to Cenobites and the lament configuration, and…they threw in a good dose of ‘Fight Club’ to the mix as well because…hey why not? its the year 2000 baybeeeeee

The result is a film that comes across like a poor mans attempt at Fincher with an uncanny vally degree of ‘Freddys Nightmares’ thrown into the mix. and I absolutely did NOT gel with it one bit.

The plot centers around Joseph, a dirty DIRTY cop. Josephs charming, charismatic, good at magic tricks and one of the forces best and brightest. But Joseph is also both a coke user and a dealer, he’s totally open to framing people to make himself look good and get himself out of trouble, and he’s addicted to cheating on his Wife (whome he has a daughter with) with sex workers…largely for the buzz, playing it off as him working late at the station and paying them in cash and crack stolen from crime scenes. Joseph thinks he’s too smart to get caught, as he balances the line between excess and debauchery, while not going SO far as to go full on overt and get caught.

But things are about to change for Joseph, as; when attending a gory and gruesome crime scene, he stumbles across two things, a mysterious puzzlebox, and a candle with a childs finger encased in it.

The case stays with him through the night…But doesnt bother him so much that he wont head out to spend the night getting coked up with a sex worker. After ‘finishing’, he hits the bathroom and starts messing around with the puzzle box, which opens, and briefly transports him to a world of nightmarish visions. After which he awakens on the bathroom floor, heads to bed, and the next day heads into the station.

But while warming up for the day, Joseph recieves a call from the motel he stayed at last night, its the sex worker pleading for him to come and save her because someones after her. At which point she gives a blood curdling scream and the phone goes dead. Both Joseph and his partner Tony head to the motel, where they find the woman carved up and bolted onto the bathroom wall. Joseph begs Tony to cover with him, and confesses that he was there that night.

Tony reluctantly agrees. But this sends Joseph down a deep and dark path. As a suspect known only as ‘The Engineer’ makes his presence known. At first, Joseph is warned off pusuing this, with a warning that, if he ‘hunts for The Engineer, The Engineer will hunt for you’ But Joseph is the best cop in town! he’ll crack the case lickety split surely!…surley not…as the bodycount rises and Joseph ends up way in over his head. he’s led into a realm of demons, torture and debauchery as he tries to get to the bottom of the killers motive, without finding himself on the hit list.

Its heavily refuted that this is a recycled rejected script retrofitted to be a Hellraiser vehical…But in many ways, i’d be more forgiving of it if it was. Because, this quite literally does just feel like a direct to video knock off of ‘Se7en’ with a dash of ‘Fight Club’ and ‘Freddys Nightmares’ thrown in for good measure.

Probably one of the biggest complaints I see regularly is that ‘Pinhead’ is barely even in this movie. And I think thats a fair critique, but thats the least of this films worries really, honestly; I thought it was kind of refreshing and interesting to reframe the series in this way, having a cop stumble onto the site of one of the Cenobites victims and then slowly, they piece together whats happening from various crime scenes, before being compelled into hunting the box down for themselves. That sounds like it could have been fun!

This movie though…is NOT fun. its very VERY cheap for the most part and I feel largely focusses on the wrong things. Rather than a horror cop drama with subtext and coded messaging. We instead get a character piece, where we’re stuck with a deeply unlikable character getting more and more unlikable as the runtime goes on, barely even really dealing with the cenobites or the nature of the crime scenes, until the final 10 or so minutes (with notable exception) when the Cenobites just randomly turn up, explain the whole movie, and then leave again.

Theres way too much focus on Josephs personal life, on the world he’s built for himself and his own ostracization. To the point that, when the Cenobites DO turn up in dribs and drabs, it feels like i’ve accidentally swapped movies for a couple of minutes. They feel SO out of place in this movie, i’d have rather it just been ghosts or non descript demons than trying to ‘square peg in a round hole’ it as they’ve tried here.

The pacings glacial, it moves at a crawl, with the plot largely just being Joseph plus 1-2 other people standing or sitting in a room lore dropping till we can get to a Cenobite scene or a change of location…But you better no be interested in HEARING any of this script, because other than Doug Bradley, who actually DOES ennunciate his lines here, the rest of the cast are TERRIBLE mumblers…and as my bluray for this one didnt contain a subtitle track…I pretty much have NO idea what was said for about 70% of the runtime.

Tonally, it wants to be a dark and gritty cop drama, but the budget wont stretch to decent effects and heavy gore, which means all the gore shots have to either be heavily distorted or obscured. They also seemingly couldnt find an actress with a ‘nudity’ exception in her contract, because the one sex scene in the film is fully clothed and heavily filtered. Basically, it feels like someone commissioned a ‘Hellraiser’ film, and then ACTUALLY WATCHED a ‘Hellraiser’ film and realised that they ABSOLUTELY DID NOT want to make a new Hellraiser film, because it was a sin. So they then moved heaven and earth to SOMEHOW create a ‘sanitized’ take on ‘Hellraiser’…and its bizarre. I’ve never seen a film so desperate to fight against what its supposed to be.

The characters are poorly structured, they dont feel naturalistic at all, and some of their decisions in this script are just downright stupid; probably the most glaring example is Joseph reciving the call from the sex worker being murdered, visiting the motel and THEN realising that it looks like he killed her…despite the fact that…even in the year 2000, most police stations recorded incoming calls, and that CCTV was INCREDIBLY prominant even then, so he would have had MORE than an alibi to prove he didnt kill her…but he acts in this film like he’d be getting the death penalty for all this…and thats just one glaring example out of dozens I spotted across the runtime that just…made me think the movie was kind of stupid and rushed script wise.

The directions fine enough, Scott Derrikson was clearly a Fincher fan as this film reeks of ‘Se7en’ on a directoral standpoint. It looks nice enough, even if the CGI is creaky as hell in the year of our lord 2025…I’ll take a poor mans take on Fincher over uncoordinated any day. But its still kind of poor show that the best the director can do with a picture is just ape a VERY popular film makers style and hope enough people get on board with it.

Cast directions taken a page from Fincher too, but here I think its very well handled…arguably the best aspect of this production…if only they’d got the cast to read their lines at a volume that I could actually HEAR what was being said, i’d probably have an even greater appreciation for it.

The cine is fine, it looks cheap. it looks REALLY cheap…but its fine. I think my only big hangup with this one is the design of the Cenobites. we have 4 new Cenobites in this film, and all of them have pretty much the same facial design…basically a tweak on ‘Chatterers’ design, but with different body shapes. It also looks like they managed to find the old ‘Chatterer’ makeup prosthetics, becuase his head is back on a legless body for a few scenes, and its all kind of iffy. Now, I will say they mercifully only use CG sparingly to enhance the practical effects. My rating would have been even lower had they gone for purely CG cenobites. But the lack of diversity in design is just really kind of a bummer…

Other than that though, its shot to look like a TV movie/direct to video feature. You can clearly see the inspriations behind the compositional choices, but the fact remains that the budget is REALLY struggling to match the vision here, and there are several moments that really made me just feel like this film was coasting on fumes.

The edit is a bit of a mixed bag too, It was the age where horror films relied on ‘flash cuts’ to create a sense of horror and jumpscares. and when they do that, the film curdles like sour milk. the 2000s style horror editing here is rancid. it looks and feels terrible…but when its not trying to do that. I think its pretty passable for the most part. Plenty of B-roll, good enough pacing, and sequences breath…maybe a little too much for their own good, but I’d rather something have stretch room than feel like its been chopped to within and inch of its life.

The performances are…not the best, Craig Sheffer as Joseph is probably the strongest character here, but he’s essentially jsut playing a charicature of the charismatic, wise cracking cop trope thats now commonplace in series like ‘CSI’ and ‘Law and order’. He gives it a good crack and his ‘fear’ moments are genuinely impressive…Its just a shame that he gets so little in the way of range, and that I cant tell a bloody word he’s saying.

Doug Bradly is probably second best here, returning as ‘Pinhead’ for all of 5 minutes, his makeup once again takes a hit, after they just about ‘nailed’ it in ‘Bloodline’…they dont really modify his voice either. But they do give him an intimidating presence, and the time he’s on screen is arguably some of the best.

But good lord, the soundtrack. is. HORRENDOUS. at times it feels like Sterling entertainment and full moon offcuts…the kind of music they wouldnt use in THEIR movies. GONE is the orchestral ‘real’ instrument pieces and instead its midi samples and stock music…and it utterly throws the vibe of the movie entirely, I hated it. With a more impactful score, this probably could have been somewhat salvagable…but as it is? it sucks SO bad…

‘Hellraiser: Inferno’ had promise…as mentioned, I could see the core premise of this movie ACTUALLY being kind of fun. But it feels like they really lost their way on this one at some point in pre-production and what should have been a ‘Hellraiser’ film from a Cops perspective, became a ‘Cop’ film that just so happened to have demons in it…I really didnt care for this one, it’ll likely be a while before I revisit it. Cant recommend it, its cheap, boring and lacking all the bite, vibe and aesthetic that made the series great in the first place. ‘Hellbound’ is now but a distant memory…

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/hellraiser-inferno/

A first time spin, I picked up ‘Insidious’ during a sale a few months ago, pretty much as a blind buy, with the only knowledge I had for the movie being that it was a ‘paranormal’ film, and that several of my ‘non filmie’ friends said it was a solid horror film that they would recommend. Im always trying to broaden my horror horizons, as I am a bit patchy on 2010’s/2020’s horror. So, I took a punt. Having seen it now; I didnt really *love* it, but I will admit it has its moments.

The plot follows the ‘Lambert’ family as they’ve just moved into a new house, Father, Josh; is a school teacher and Renai is a muscian and they have two young boys and a baby. With Josh working away from the home, Renai picks up most of the housework and parenting side of things, its tough, but the pair are hoping for a fresh start after the last place they lived in had an ‘incident’ occur that the family are hoping to move on from.

However, it doesnt take long for Renai to start feeling a bit uncomfortable in the new place, and after one of their sons, Dalton falls off a ladder, he appears to drift into a coma. Obviously the family are horrified, and after 3 months of observations, to which the doctors have no answers, the Lamberts bring their son home and set him up for long term care at the house.

But in doing so, something…’Insidious’ (Eh…Ehhhhhh?!?) starts to stalk the Lambert family, Renai begins to see beings in the corner of her eye, and as time goes on they become more and more prominent, eventually trashing up their house, and eerily stalking their other kids and Dalton…this bothers Renai so much that she manages to convince Josh to pack up and move to a new house…Which is probably THE most sensible thing i’ve EVER seen in a horror film.

But its no good! as on arriving in the new house the beings continue, and a TERRIFYING encounter with a red faced demon looking fellow, has Renai contact Joshes mother, who in turn contacts a paramormalist ‘Elise’ and her team. Who reveal to her the terrifying REAL reason Daltons in a coma…

One thing that I absolutely cannot abide about more contemporary horror is the normalisation of the ‘Jump Scare’ as the primary horror tactic. Back in the good old days of horror, Jumpscares were a fleeting tool in the horror filmakers arsenal. a quick, cheap and dirty way to get a couple extra scares in while working with subtext, metaphores and deeply uncomfortable imagery to create a well balanced horror feature. But as we entered the mid 90s, jumpscares became more and more overused…to the point that today, entire film FRANCHISES, are almost entirely reliant around the Jumpscare as the SOLE meathod for scaring people in a horror film. Insidious; is ONE of those movies.

Its film that solely relies on jumpscares to be the horror, theres almost no unsettling imagery, no real subtext or meat on the bones, nothing to really grip onto to make me sit up and take notice about this feature. Its just jumpscares intercut with lore dropping, and I could not have been more bored. Jumpscares dont really do anything for me, they just make me a bit stressed while I wait for them to happen, and I rarely if ever want to go watch a movie to be mildly stressed out. So right off the bat the film really didnt win any favours for me.

Compounding the issue further, it takes an absolute AGE to get going, I lost track of time unfortunately, but I reckon it must have been at LEAST 30 minutes of the hour and 40 runtime before we really saw anything even remotely CLOSE to horror. everything up to that point was just a mum doing chores, a dad going to work and kids hanging out and doing kids stuff, and while admittedly, I will say that by the hour mark the film was finally in full swing and doing its thing, and the pace almost certainly did pick up quite a bit from there, it really did try my patience to the point I nearly lost all interest in the film.

The scripts plot is fine enough, for a film that predates ‘The Conjuring’ by 3 years it seems to pretty much establish the template that that series would work off of for the next 10 years. I thought the ending was predictable, but about as satisfying as could be expected, once it did get going around the halfway point, I had a fine enough time, and as mentioned there are a few moments here that, as a long time horror watcher, did pleasently surprise me, because it made me feel like the characters were a bit more realistic than most.

Unfortunately; the act structuring does struggle a bit. with a glacial first act giving way to a half and half ‘interesting’ to ‘filler’ mixture…and the 3rd act pulling out all the stops, ultimately delivering a fine enough time…but your milage may vary if you can put up with the wait to get there.

Tonally; it felt a bit murky, like the comic relief parnomal assistants to Elise felt a bit forced, which I didnt enjoy, and it doesnt really seem to know how hard it really wants to go as a horror, or what kind of contrast it wants to play against those darker moments…While I appreciate the attempt at making things creepy by playing ‘tiptoe thru the tulips’ intermittently to try and create a sense of unease. As someone who grew up with that song being a mid to late 60s novelty record, I wasnt so much creeped out, more cracking out into laughter whenever it was played because…Is this what kids think is ‘super old and creepy’? I just thought it was more bizarre than anything else.

The characters are all pretty well written, I thought there was a nice complexity with the core cast, and the dialogue was quite naturalistic for the most part. It was probably the thing that kept me hanging on the most for the production.

The direction and cine are both above board, this is a studio picture, so certain standards had to be adhered to…So nothing too nefarious is present here. The film plays with a strong aesthetic, very angular and interested in the grading, with some shots looking almost black and white, but in fact are just very carefully curated set spaces with experimental lighting applied. the use of CG here is sparingly paced out. But its a 15 year old movie at this point, and even on bluray its starting to creak a little bit when it does happen.

I kind of felt what CG they did use was a bit unecissary honestly. This film suffers a bit from what I dub ‘Hellraiser’ syndrome, a cinematic condition where; The more you learn about the big scary baddies, the less big and scary and mysterious they seem and the more silly and rubbish they become. The oversharing of the ‘baddies’ in this film combined with the less than steller CG ultimately totally defanged these antagonists…by the end I was giggling more than I was paying attention.

Sequences are incredibly well composed however, the edit is rock solid, theres some really nice cine experimentation present in this film, that I thought was quite impressive honestly; its a pretty good looking film for the most part, that I think still largely holds up visually.

Performance wise, well, I wont go into the kid actors, but the trio of Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne and Lin Shaye are fabulous here, giving largely believable performances with great physical presence and pretty solid natural delivery. Yes they do have some stupid moments that feel stiff and awkward. But mercifully they are few and far between and dont totally ruin the films ‘vibe’.

And finally, the soundtrack! Which is deafening. This is another problem a lot of films from the mid 2000’s to the present day suffer with, the mixing is frankly painful. The score here is string,synth and other sharp noises, mixed up to 11. and those stings when the jumpscares happen are frankly deafening, especially when there are prolonged periods of absolute silence. Its the kind of loudness that, if you saw it in a theatre environment, would likely make you go temporarily visually impared (A feat i’ve experience only once before when I went to see ‘Evil Dead Rise’…THAT…was an experience…) But this? this is a bit annoying, and meant I basically had to rock the volume button my TV because every 5 minutes it would hit a sting that would make my cat explode.

Insidious has some pretty great ideas peppered into its 104 minute runtime. Its a visually impressive film for the most part with some solid performances and clear directoral vision. Unfortunately; it takes WAY too long to get to the good stuff, the digital effects havent aged all that well and it’s only using one tool to try and get the job done…and its using it badly.

If I was at a friends house, or if my partner wanted to watch this film again, I wouldnt put up any protest, but would I choose of my own volition to watch this thing again? Probably not…it was a nice idea, and I dont regret watching it. But I wouldnt choose to watch it again. I think if your into 2010’s horror, you’ll get on with this…but if your not…be prepared for a trek.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/insidious/

When a franchise hits the ‘In Space!’ part of its existence, I tend to run to the hills, or at the very least make some notes for my next youtube review. Its usually a sign that a franchise has exhausted its creative outputs and hit the ’emergency panic’ button because…well…who DOESNT wanna see a predominantly earth based hero or villain get thrust THEMSELVES into the unknowing dark void of space! Who KNOWS what crazy hi-jynx they could get up to?! Its usually the death rattle.

‘Hellraiser: Bloodline’ is essentially this franchises death rattle. After ‘Hellraiser III’ took the high concept, complex world of the cenobites and their interdimensional quest for pleasure through ultimate pain. and reduced it to a low budget, pinhead-centric ‘Nightmare on Elm Steet’ knock off. I didnt have high hopes for ‘Chapter 4’. In fact, I didnt like ‘Hellraiser III’ so much that I actually put off watching ‘Bloodline’ for the better part of a decade, figuring that, if that was the direction the series was going in, it was probably better to cut my losses and just stick with the first two, than venture any further.

But sometimes, fortune favours the brave. and while ‘Hellraiser: Bloodline’ is FAR from a return to form for the series, I have to admit that I really quite enjoy it.

The premise is simple enough, we open the the far off future of 2150, on a space station as a member of the ‘Merchant’ family is controlling a robot to open the Lament configuration. He successfully opens the puzzlebox. Pinhead and a new set of cenobites appear, but before any kind of showdown can occur, space marines barge into the space station and Arrest ‘Merchant the younger’.

While in custody, the marines question Merchant about why ‘the man who built this space station would cut all communication and access to it and threaten to destroy it?’ At which point it’s revealed that the Merchant family have a long and entangled history with the puzzle box and the cenobites, dating back to 18th century France, and a distant relative of Merchant, who was in fact the creator of the first puzzlebox.

From here, the film essentially takes on an anthology pathway, showing three tales from the Merchant bloodline, starting with ‘Philip Merchant’ the creator of the box, as he battles with a demon from hell called Angelique who may or may not have manifested the box for demonic purposes. Before flashing forward to 6 years after the events of ‘Hellraiser III’ and 1996 where ‘John Merchant’ is the architect who helped construct the ‘Lament tower’ featured as the big twist ending in ‘Hellraiser III’ with Angelique back on the hunt to reclaim the puzzle box. and finally finishing the present day of 2150 with ‘Paul Merchant’ finally trying to put an end to this stain on the bloodline, once and for all.

Im going to be honest up front here, this is a stupid, silly and daft little movie. It is FAR removed from the deadly serious tones of the first 2 Hellraiser movies. But I feel like it does a lot right, that the last film got VERY wrong.

For a starters, this film shifts the tone back away from just, gore for the sake of gore and a slasher mentality, back to a more ‘otherworldly’ quality. there are moments in this film that arnt really fully explained or clarified that reintroduce a little bit of mystery back into the series which is nice. Angelique as a character is a bit of a mixed bag concept. On the one hand, its interesting to learn that their are beings in the Leviathan realm heald in higher regard than the Cenobites…However, at the same time introducing a monarch-esq framework into the series grounds the Cenobites as beings even further and kind of takes a bit more magic away from the series.

They show significantly less of Pinhead, and when he does appear he isnt doing much of the heavy lifting on the gore front. He gets some really nice dialogue here and its nice to see them shift him back to being a more mysterious being (with significantly better make up this time to boot!) without just…not featuring him at all in the movie.

Calling this film what it is, it feels like a ‘closer’ to the series. Clive Barker was back on board as an executive producer (I believe for the final time), and the tone and vibe the film gives off throughout is basically ‘we’re done, this is tying things off.’ indeed, the anthology nature of this basically burns any bridges of future sequels as (mild spoilers here) the film implies that after 1996’s encounter, the puzzle box drifts from place to place, but that no Cenobites are lost and no new victims are collected until 2150. The Puzzlebox basically just waited till 2150, at which point (again, mild spoilers) its destoryed. Which means one of two things, either the series ends with this film (as I assume many people would prefer) or this film…the one Clive Barker worked on…DOESNT count as canon and instead all the films that come after this one DO count.

in either case, for me? this is a perfect jumping off point. With this film, we learn everything we didnt already know about the Cenobites, they get to do some fun last film killings, we get a thorough history of the puzzle box that helps begin and end the timelines for events, and the ending of the film is about as strong a closure as you can get.

I enjoyed the short stories within this film, all of them feel pretty strong, though not quite as strong as the original elements, theres a nice consistency tonally amongst all the stories. The Merchants as characters are all a little bit on the flat side, it maybe would have been nice to see a little bit more character varience rather than them just increasingly modernising the same personality type. But Angelique as a character nicely counter balances it as a seductive and sadistic demon/cenobite…thingie…I dont think the film really clarifies what shes supposed to be.

Technically the film looks sound, with some solid effects work for 1996, I enjoyed the direction for the most part, though I think the middle story does take a bit of a hit, just in the sense of I dont think the set work is as good as the set spaces for the other two films. That being said, the Cenobites look fantastic, they bring back that wonderful cool blue lighting and some decent experimental chiascuro to help really bring things to life, the candle lit sequences in the first story are delightfully handled and there does seem to be an attempt to reignight some experimental cine, with decent compositional choices that genuinely gave Pinhead as a character a bit of menace.

Performances are, for the most part as sharp as always, there are a few wobbly deliveries here and there, but nothing too gratuitous, and we see a VERY welcome return to orchestral and grand soundtracking, after the last films dalliance with rock music.

‘Hellraiser: Bloodline’ is a fantastic jumping off point for the series, if you want to recoup your losses after ‘Hellraiser III’ I feel like this one leaves the franchise in an ‘iffy’ but positive place. Its far from perfect, and very VERY dumb. particularly with the ending. But its not dumb in an annoying way, its dumb in a kind of endearing way. It feels like the people involved really understood the core concepts of the series. They just maybe didnt have the budget or comprehension to fully get it over the line, and the result is a film thats a bit silly, wearing the skin of a higher concept movie.

I enjoy this one because it is what it is, it isnt trying to convince you its better than it is. and I think if you didnt enjoy Hellraiser III, you should probably give this one a go. I’d definitely say its worth catching, and this one will definitely be going into rotation more often. Underrated.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/hellraiser-bloodline/

Working through the ’31 horror films in 31 days’ Halloween challenge this year, we arrive at another selection from the Missus, and a film that I previously hadnt seen. ‘The Little Vampire’ was particularly prominant in the UK, with heavy advertisement on the terrestrial channels and a LOT of kids VHS releases from around this time running teasers and full trailers for it ahead of the main feature. It passed me by, but at the time It did pique my curiosity. Mainly for being able to see Richard E. Grant simultaineously playing a lead vampire, the ‘Shalka’ Doctor AND Withnail, all in the space of one movie!

The plot follows a young boy named Tony who’s family have moved from the US to Scotland as Tonys Dad has got a gig refurbishing a Scottish Lords land into a commerical golf course. But since landing at their new home, Tony has become obsessed with Vampires. At night he dreams of a hoard of vampires weilding a mysterious amulet drawing power from a comet thats been granted mysterious powers by the moonlight.

Tony isnt entirely sure what any of this means, but he has bigger fish to fry, his parents are constantly busy with his Lordship, and the Lords kids bully Tony at school mercilessly. But one night, while playing dress up as a vampire…an ACTUAL vampire who’s being hunted by a modern day ‘Slayer’ crashes into Tonys room, thinking he’s found a fellow kin member…only to realise he’s revealed himself to a human.

But Tony is thrilled! he’s wanted to meet a vampire ever since the visions started, and after the pair introduce themselves, our Vampire reveals his name is ‘Rudolph’ and that he’s in desperate need of some cows blood to recover from the incident.

Tony obliges, and explains that he is one of the final members of a regional hoard of Vampires. He says that Vampirism has changed a lot in the 300+ years since his coven was in its prime. They largely hide from humans now, and only consume Animal blood to sustain themselves as it helps to fight the stereotype that vampires are human killers. Despite most of them not having drunk human blood in over 3 centuries…the myth still persists to this day.

Tony and Rudolph form a strong friendship, eventually leading Rudolph to take Tony to his families crypt, where an unexpected meeting happens. Rudolphs family are terrified of Tony and quite firmly ask him to leave. But when Rudolphs father touches Tony, the pair share a flashback, bringing about a preivously unseen vision of one of their ancestors holding the mysterious amulet, which has been missing now for 300 years. This vision strongly implies that the amulet is still out there and fairly local. And so Tony, Rudolph and the rest of the family must work together to try and figure out just what exactly happened to the family amulet, While also avoiding the ‘Slayer’ who’s been given full clearence by the Lordship to take the vampires out by any means necessary, and who is ALSO looking for the amulet, as he has a device which, when the amulet is placed into it, will allow him to permanently eradicate all vampires from existence!

And im going to be honest here, I had a fine enough time with this movie, is it a lifechanging work that warrents an annual revisit? No. I think, unless you have a bedded in nostalgia for this film, it’ll probably be one sparsly revisited. But I would watch this one again happily and found it a pretty passively entertaining time.

The scripts a little slow to get going, with it being a film aimed at younger children they spend a MASSIVE amount of time explaining and re-explaining basic plot points to try and make sure everyones on board with the story, the plot itself is very simplified. It isnt trying to overcomplicate things. but the film really doesnt hit its stride or start using the momentum its building up until just after the half way point…and thats kind of a fundamental problem if you happen to be a kids film. Because, I dont know a kid that would willing sit through 45 minutes of passive plot and world building, peppered with some (at the time) kind of alright visual effects pieces. to be rewarded with an actually kind of solid 45 minute second half. Most would have waddled off to go and play with an electrical socket or to play under the cupboard mixing ammonia and bleach before the 20 minute mark…and im being generous there.

Luckily, I am not a child and I do have patience, and I found the back half of this film to be a gentle but fun little romp, the pacing really picks up, it finally finds its feet as a horror adventure film with some light comedy elements. and it ends about as strongly as these films can. It struggles for a bit to find its feet tonally, but when it does it locks in and really delivers on that.

I think structurally the film does sag a bit in the middle, a common problem with kids movies like this, the first and third acts run a little shorter to accomodate additional lore and info dumping in the middle, but its pretty clear they padded the runtime in multiple places to hit that 90 minute sweet spot for TV and home video releases. The padding here isnt bad, its just kind of unremarkable. Not something I can rib, but not anything to praise really.

The characters are all VERY oversimplified. which, for the most part works in the films favour, by not giving the supporting characters more of a backstory, it enables the film to bring more backstory to the vampires, which is really why any kid is actually watching this, it means characters like the Slayer and the Lord are SUPER one dimensional. But again, that works in the films favour, because they can milk that for humour.

I do wish Tony had maybe had a bit more of a complex character if im honest. It starts off somewhat strong making Tony a victim of bullying, but they push that a little far with a scene in his school where he’s being mocked by his teacher for wanting to talk about vampires…to the point he gets sent out of class, which I felt was quite unbelievable…and then as soon as Tony meets his vampire friends, he largely seems to exist to just…do the bits the vampires cant do for plot reasons, while also bullying the kids who bullied him initially…which isnt the best message to be teaching kids…but hey, whatever. Oh! and the dialogues also a but ropey in places…some lines are a bit awkward and some feel like they were trying to push the overexplanation a bit too far.

Other than that though, we have a pretty solid film technically. The direction and cine are both incredibly fresh feeling, they relish the opportunity to film on location with green lush rolling hills and gorgeous colour and framing work, the lighting is open to experimentation and looks complex and engaging. the cine is well composed, with some nice experimentaiton and what made me laugh was some shots were ‘half inched’ from some of the 80s horror classics. I spotted at least a couple of shots ‘liberated’ from ‘The People under the stairs’ which I thought was a fun touch.

The sequences are very well composed, if I had to gripe, some of the set work, particularly the graveyard scenes that were set built, look cheap…VERY cheap…like, late night horror host on a shoestring budget cheap. and that pulled me out of the action because, while again, they were at least kind of well lit, they overdid it with the smoke machine and some of the graves are visually vaccume form and styrafoam.

I would usually discuss performances, but as a courtesty to an largely all kid cast. I’ll skip my usual analytics, other than to say some of the kid actors are really pretty solid, and give great turns…others?…VERY much not the case. prepare for a long ride with some cast members who just CANNOT get a line out convincingly…I’ll say no more.

It makes it all the more unfortunate given how good the visusals are for this film, that it appears they skimped on the soundtrack as well…we have a cheap and cheerful farty midi synth score for the most part, its actually quite distracting because it sounds so cheap and unpleasent when compared to how rich the camera work and direction is…the only way I could compare it really is; imagine if ‘Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back’ had been scored by Richard Band. Its THAT disorienting…

All in all, do I think ‘The Little Vampire’ would still win over kids of today? No. I think this could be modernised into something kids would love. But this adaptation? is very much a product of its time. As someone who lived through that time however, I can appreciate what it was trying to do, and i’d say I enjoyed more than I disliked. It wont be in regular rotation, but I could see myself revisiting this one again sometime when I want a quick and easy watch. Not one I could recommend, but if your big on 00’s nostalgia, you may wanna hit this one up.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/the-little-vampire/

One of Al Lewis’s final big screen performances, ‘My Grandpa is a Vampire’, also known as ‘Moonlight’ is a big screen adaptation of a 5 part radio play and a US/New Zealand Co production…and thats…basically everything you need to know about the movie. Thanks for reading my review…

…

…Oh, you want more? well…there isnt really anything else to say. The plot follow two of the most 90s kids you’ll ever meet in your life, one from New Zealand and the other from the US because…sure why not…as they travel around New Americazealand with their magic vampiric grandpa…at first the kids arnt 100% convinced he IS a vampire, but when he LITERALLY returns from the dead and explains that the vitality of the kids is all he needs to stay living and that he IS in fact a living breathing vampire…they go on a KERRAZY adventure to give the old man some new blood, while being hunted by one of the kids aunt and step-uncle who think he’s an abomination and should be destroyed.

This is the kind of movie that plays second fiddle to ‘Mac & Me’…let that set in for a moment. The script is PAINFULLY dull and is playing on kids movie architypes from well over a decade prior to this being made, the pacing is glacial, the humour is mostly completely flat, and when it isnt flat it borders the VERY innapropriate for a film predominantly involving kids.

The dialogues rubbish, the tones all over the place, trying to be funny, poingiant and thought provoking all at once. Al Lewis is LITERALLY the best thing in this movie, and he’s pretty past his ‘sell by’ at this point. Put it this way, if he wasnt in the movie, this thing would probably be a whole star lower. he isnt great, but I clung to that man through this movie like a survivor of the titanic.

The direction and cine were both a bit generic in places, but at least they bothered to experiment with coloured lighting and a few special effects shots land with a deafening thud that made me just laugh out of sheer embarrisment for all involved. Still; I’ll give it some credit, the lens caps off and someone clearly had a vision for how this thing was to look and feel. its oddly specific in that way, which is endearing.

The performances though…eesh. its a rough watch. When a ‘past his prime’ Al Lewis is the life raft in terms of acting quality in this film, you know your in for a rough time. NOONE sounds believable, moments of sadness are utterly bereft of feeling, the dialogue feels awkward and like a compromise between the NZ and US production offices. the weird combination of the two elements results in a film that feels like its two car transport trucks smashed into each other, and neither party knows their insurance details…and its raining.

Even the soundtracks painful. farting synthesizers trying their DAMNDEST to make the whole thing feel KOOKY and WILD! its horrifying…

This has got to be prime Rifftrax fodder if ever i’ve seen it, the fact they havent covered it means only one of two things…either they have too much respect for Al Lewis, or it would feel like they were punching down. I cant honestly say which one is more likely.

I wont go as far as to say it was a waste of 90 minutes, because there are some weird and funny moments VERY conservatively peppered throughout this movie, and technically, its on the level. Just…dont screen this thing near an open flame…Eesh.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/my-grandpa-is-a-vampire/

Oh how the mighty fall, and only 2 sequels into the ‘Hellraiser’ franchise we find our first solid bump in the road with ‘Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth’ a film that seemingly REALLY wanted to be a ‘Nightmare on Elm Steet’ movie, but only had the rights to Pinhead…So they made do. Apathy is the flavour of the day in this entry, as the budget comes tumbling down and Cliver Barker agreed to a nice payday to slap a ‘Presents’ credit in his name on the opening of the film, we shed pretty much any of the etheral interdimensional strangeness of the first two films in place of a fairly generic supernatural slasher film thats all gore and no substance.

The plot picks up an unknown period of time after the events of ‘Hellbound’…it’s to be assumed that its around the same amount of time as it took between sequels…so around 3-4 years. and a rancid little upstart named JP is tipped off that a hip cool and EXTREME piece of art is hanging out at one of his hip gallery spots, and that he should go and grab it as soon as possible. It turns out that this ‘unique’ piece is in fact the totem from the end of ‘Hellbound’ set in some kind of ceramic or metal, in hibernation. JP buys it to make the latest feature of his grunge inspired nightclub ‘The Boiler Room’.

JP is a bad egg all round, a womanizer, mysoginist and murderer, he runs the club like his own personal playground. and from here things are going to get twisted.

We’re then introduced to Joey, Joey is an upcoming newslady DESPERATE to get the anchorwoman spot on primetime, but forced to do the ‘local’ stories that dont matter and noone cares about. Shes reporting on a story at their local hospital when a man is rushed into the operating theater covered in chains and screaming. When the surgeons get the OR up and running the chains go taught, fly into the air and electricute everyone in the theater, before blowing up the guy.

Joey has NO idea what she just saw, but the guys friend Terri arrives just as the carnage settles down and, without a place to stay, Joey offers her a place to sleep for the night. While getting friendly, Terri reveals that her friend was screwing around with some random statue in ‘The Boiler Room’ when a chunk of it fell off, and next thing she knew he was covered in chains and bleeding all over the place. Terri roots through her bag and produces the puzzle box, still sealed.

Meanwhile back at the Boiler room, JP has just pulled a woman off the floor of his nightclub for some ‘private’ time, and on completion, he basically tells her to sod off, she gets upset AND somehow the art installations been moved into JPs bedroom, Pinhead wakes up and promptly devours the woman gaining strength off her. Pinhead manages to convince JP to bring him more souls to help him get stronger and JP agrees.

Meanwhile Joey and Terri begin to look deeper into the origins of the Totem, the puzzle box and its history, using her connections, Joey even manages to pull some interviews from Kirsty under the observation of Dr. Channard…and she figures out that, whatever that box and Totem are…they’re evil and need to be gotten rid of…leading Joey on an adventure through time and space to stop Pinhead from being awoken, and plan to send him back to hell before he brings Hell to Earth.

What can I say, its a significant step down in almost every measure. There are TWO rules when it comes to films like ‘Hellraiser’ that you need to abide in order to keep the sequels interesting and engaging:

1 – The more you share about the Cenobites, their history and how they function/live, the more interesting they are in the moment, and the less interesting they are forever more.

and 2 – The more you make the Cenobites talk, the less mysterious they are, and the more annoying they are.

The first Hellraiser had Cenobites for all of 8 minutes, they said MAYBE a paragraphs worth of lines all together, we had no idea where they came from, who they were or why they did what they did. In many ways, they actually UNDERsold on the promise. but certainly piqued curiosity.

Hellbound expanded on the Cenobites massively, introducing a whole other dimension they hail from, the concept of gods and demi gods, and while they talked more in that movie, they still kept the dialogue fairly brief and they didnt bother to overexplain anything. The first film garnered a ‘What they HELL are they?!’ response, the second film very much gave a ‘OH CRAP! THEY’RE BACK!’ response.

This film? Pinhead will NOT SHUT UP. They basically overtly tell you his entire history and how to kill him in this movie across the runtime, and anytime he’s on screen he will NOT STOP monologuing. its absurd. most of his lines sound like rejected Freddy Kruger lines. and they’ve tried to pivot the character (who, for the most part is flying solo here) into a more manipulative and callous figure, whereas previously he was malevolent, cold, quiet and waiting for the right moment to strike. I dont come to ‘Hellraiser’ films for stuff like this, and as soon as he started blathering on to JP, trying to convince him to join forces with him, I kind of knew we wernt dealing with the same calibre of the previous films.

The script itself feels like a rejected low budget 80s slasher with supernatural elements got fished out of the reject pile and had Pinhead inserted into it. The pacing is slow and plodding right up until the final 30 minutes when the production CLEARLY realised they’d only spent about $100 on the film, and so they crammed the remaining budget into stunts and explosions for the remainder of the runtime with mixed to poor results.

The tones all off in this one, we’ve shifted from two films that felt mysterious, etheral and somewhat sophisticated…to lowest common denominator sleaze and gore. It really does feel like the people behind this film watched the first two, and all they really took away from it was the sex scenes with Julia and the gore scenes…So they decided to make a movie about that. Its playing much more tongue in cheek than the last two films and MUCH more blunt and literal. Theres no metaphores here, no deeper subtext. The Cenobites here have gone from Interdimensional demonic beings who link the chain between pleasure and pain, tormenting the sick people who search them out for all eternity for the pleasure of their gods. To BDSM leather artists with a bloodplay fetish. Its sanded off any deeper meaning leaving…just a kind of boring time honestly.

The actual plot itself is kind of dull too, I think there could have been an interesting grain to the plot of Joey using her journalism skills and the privilages that brings with it to uncover the puzzle box, Pinhead and the other world…kind of in an ‘Outsider lets themselves in for more than they bargained for’ way…But instead the Boiler room plotting and JP take center stage for most of the first two acts, and past the opening act, Joeys journalism skills go out the window as she just becomes a woman wandering into situations where shes given a hint on how to stop Pinhead, and then wandering out of that situation directly into ANOTHER situation and ANOTHER hint. In fact, from around the halfway point right up till about 5 minutes off the end of the film, thats all that really happens. Just Joey wandering about occasionally being fed hints. The film loses interest in its own characters by the end.

The pacing starts off a little slow, and ramps up a good steam till around the opening of the 2nd act when it starts to slow a bit and then from that point up to the end it just becomes more and more labourious till the actual finale feels less like a planned ending, and more like a set piece for trailer and promo fodder. making huge swathes of the film feel glacial. I STILL to this day think this films an hour and 45 minutes long every time I put it in…its just over an hour and a half with SUPER long end credits…

Non of the characters are particularly interesting. Joey is probably the best, and shes a solid enough lead character…but not as good as Kirsty, she spends a lot of the film being given information, rather than finding it for herself…and shes a JOURNALIST. the rest of the cast are just…not really all that great and not fun to be around. Terri is kind of fine, but I didnt really enjoy the fact she spends most of the time on camera tyring to make excuses to leave. JP is insufferable and not particularly great fun to hang around with for extended periods of time, as this film seems ADAMANT to want to do, I’ve already gone into detail about the character change for Pinhead. and the rest of the supporting characters are either SUPER dull or have one charictaristic that gets exploited till they’re gone.

Theres one scene in this whole film i’d save if I could, and its as blunt and rediculous as this movie is, but I found it funny. And thats a scene near the end of the movie when Pinhead enters a Church looking for Joey who’s sought sanctuary from a priest. The father grabs a crucifix to do the ol’ ‘Exorcist’ routine, but Pinhead melts it in his hands causing serious burns and then, with his hands welded together, he forces the priest to take communion using his own demonic flesh and blood. THAT. was VERY on the nose, but I laughed.

The direction and cine are probably the strongest element of this film, they have moments across the runtime, just little flickers here and there of creative expression, good composition or an attempt at double meaning and visual subtext…but for the most part? this feels like low budget, direct to video fodder…and the assumption is, given that both Hellraiser 1 and 2 thrived on home video, that was kind of what they were aiming for. Like; its not actively BAD…but the cheapness of the whole production really shines through with the little things, like all the nice colour grading and moody lighting getting taken away, Pinheads makeup looks significantly cheaper, the other Cenobites that appear look less intricate and cheaper looking, shots are clearly framed for 4:3 to accomodate TV broadcasts. Its a film that has MOMENTS…but its not a pretty film inherently.

Performance wise, its a bit of a mixed bag. Doug Bradley as always is fun, but the script really doesnt serve him well here. He tries his best…in lesser hands this would have been MUCH worse. Terry Farrell as Joey is fine enough leading lady material, but again, the script isnt really her friend and while she puts her ALL into trying to bring the character to life, it really just left me wishing she’d got to work with material of the same quality as the first two films. Kevin Bernhardt is wonderfully sleazy and unpleasent as JP. But this film falls into the trap of spending TOO much time with a deeply unlikable character, you want to spend enough time with them to make the audience happy when they die…But not SO much time with them they feel like they’re trapped in a lift with a fart. He’s REALLY good at being evil…to the point that he overstays his welcome. which is a testimony to his performance…but a problem in equal measure.

And the soundtrack? its a rehash of the last 2 films, but now the producers have discovered rock, grunge and metal…so we get occasional snatches of that gorgeous orchestral hellraiser score intercut with Ozzy, Motorhead and bands of that ilk. I like those bands, I think theyre great. But putting rock and grungy metal into a horror film is THE most generic thing you can do…and I just…REALLY got tired of it pretty quick…

‘Hellraiser III’ feels like the rights to a great series got put into the hands of someone whos only ever made low budget slasher movies before, and because of that, it feels like they didnt really know what to do with it…so they tried to cram a great IP into a one size fits all mold with mixed to poor results. I dont enjoy watching this entry, It has a handful of moments that I enjoy, but otherwise its just kind of dull and cheap looking. Definitely one to avoid, and if your new to the series. Start with the first two and give this one a swerve.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/hellraiser-iii-hell-on-earth/

A first time watch, and a nostalgic revisit for the missus, its been 20 years since ‘Corpse Bride’ released and gained quite a fan following, at the time this film came out my affection for Tim Burton as a film maker was somewhat on the wane. As a director I think his best years to date run from ‘Frankenweinie’ in 1984 right the way through to probably Sleepy Hollow or his attempted reboot of ‘Planet of the Apes’. but by the early 2000’s it felt like a director just going through the motions. ‘Charlie and the chocolate factory’ to me had a few sparkles in it, but there was a creaking sense of self plagerism creeping into his work and style…and when ‘Corpse Bride’ hit the scene, I offhandedly wrote it off as his attempt to essentially recreate ‘A Nightmare Before Christmas’ so that he could finally have something approximating it to put his own name on given the controversy around his involvement in that film and Henry Selick.

Watching it now, I dont think I was really that far off the mark, but thats not to say that there wasnt fun to be had with this.

Clocking in at a breezy hour and 17 minutes, the plot follows Victor, a nervous ‘groom to be’ in an arranged marriage to Victoria. Victors parents want the marriage to elevate them into aristocricy by proxy, and Victorias parents want the marriage because, while they retain their titles, the last of their wealth is tied up into assets, and should the wedding not go ahead as planned, it could lead to a mass sell off to pay their debts rendering them homeless and penniless to boot.

Neither Victor or Victoria have met prior to this arrangement, and the first time they do meet is mere minutes before the wedding rehersal…and they really hit it off! Unfortunatley Victor is VERY nervous and clumsy and is unable to properly complete the wedding ceremony without messing things up.

So the night before the wedding, while out in a walk in the woods, Victor practices and eventually manages to complete the ceremony, using what he thinks is an old tree branch to mimic his bride to be’s hand. Unfortunately, it turns out that this is no tree branch, its the skeletal and fossilized arm of Emily. A jilted bride who was murdered under mysterious circumstances. Victors vows has briefly ressurected her, and she assumes Victor is her Groom to be, so; she accepts his vows and the pair are wed.

But that leaves a problem, as Victoria is still to be married, and a member of the local village witnesses Victor on a bridge with a young lady, creating a rumour that he’s eloped and jilted Victoria. Enter ‘Lord Barkis’ a seemingly wealthy aristocrat, who’s heard of Victoria and her wealthy family, who begins to worm his way in with Victorias parents, eventually convincing them that HE may be a suitable replacement for Victor. Meanwhile; Victor tries to strike a balance of explaining to Emily that they cannot be wed, while also trying to keep her on side as shes really quite suffered enough.

With this being a studio stop motion production with a very distinct director at the healm, I wasnt too worried about the technical skills of this production. Its quite derivitive of ‘Nightmare before Christmas’ and in my opinion, while its technically aiming to be more impressive than it, ‘Nightmare’ for my money delivers a much more complex and intricate time. But across the board on a technical level, this is a really decently handled, if not *slightly* stale production. the colours all pop, selective use of desaturation is nice, the actual direction and animation compositions are delightful and engaging…

The cast is star studded and equally superb, It was delightful to hear Christopher Lee in a latter day role still brining a fantastic range to proceedings, and Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Richard E. Grant, Albert Finney and Michael Gaugh all delight with animated and vibrant performances that are largely engaging, with maybe just a hint of dryness creeping in in places.

The score itself is pretty decent, with Danny Elfman bringing more of his thing to this, though I will say some of the songs arnt quite as notable or memorable as his previous offerings up to this point, and some of the musical numbers do go on for a fair bit longer than I would have liked.

But really; its the script thats probably this films biggest problem, its a film that takes a good while to really get properly going, with the aforementioned musical numbers acting as a heavy barrier between the narrative and some kind of audience pay off. There are multiple moments in this film where the plot will JUST start to flare up, and then we’re met with a 3-5 minute uninspiring musical number that grinds everything back to a halt till they’re done.

The film sags a little in the back end of the first act and opening of the 2nd, and while the humour is good for the most part, there are moments that feel a bit lax on quality control. and theres a fair bit of idling for time in the back half of this to get it up to a releasable ‘feature’ runtime.

The pacing and act strucuturing is pretty nippy, but those padded moments dotted throughout, with the musical numbers, really do stop this from being the best that it could possibly be.

Tonally; it feels like it wants to try and capture the emotional resonance of ‘Nightmare’ and as a result comes across whiffing of ‘We have Nightmare before Christmas at home.’ Again, its not an inherently bad thing. and I did enjoy some of the jokes across this films runtime. But…yeah, it feels a little phoned in.

Ultimately; ‘Corpse Bride’ to me? isnt an essential watch, but it IS a film that I would be more than happy to sit through again. For a latter day Tim Burton offering, its probably the last film i’ve seen him make that actually held up. and i’d say if you did enjoy his 90s work, this one may be worth a spin.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/corpse-bride/