The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak (1984)

This (So Far) has been the most stressfull episode I’ve released of this season. The reason being that a company called “Europacorp” have a master copy of this movie logged with youtube on a “Block worldwide” copyright notice. As such. the moment I uploaded this episode, it blocked worldwide. I disputed it; and they forgot to respond to the dispute…that’s literally the only reason you’re able to watch this “Uncut” on youtube. Seriously; up until Tuesday of this week (the 24th of March 2020) I was so certain this episode was going to be shot down that I re-edited it in the same way that I did with my review of “Emmanuelle“.

Another reason I was so on edge about this review being blocked is that personally; and not to blow my own horn here too much…Im really proud with how the edit turned out for this one. sometimes I dont quite manage to put across the exact way I feel about a film through the editing…but with this one. I personally think I nailed it. so I really hope you enjoy this weeks review. it’s a weird one!

(All the posters for this movie kind of suck a bit (They’re not awful…they’re just not great)…but the Severin films slip art for this movie is absolutely gorgeous!)

Hercules (1983)

We’re Back! and it feels like Bloody ages since I put the lid on Season 6. I started writing season 7 back in early November last year and originally this episode was supposed to be the 10th in this seasons run. I’d never seen it before and apart from being a bit of a fan of Lou Ferrigno’s film work I couldnt have told you anything about this before I hit play. as soon as the credits rolled I knew that this one simply HAD to be the opener. it’s so perfect to hit the ground running! Giant robot monsters, space bears and rainbows just…bloody…everywhere!

we’re back now for a 17 week run (Plus plenty of extras along the way!) we hope you enjoy this new series!

 

(That poster man!…this would sell ANYONE to go and check this thing out!)

Finishing the Complete Sixth Series (2019)

To say that it’s a miracle that this season even got made is an understatement in and of itself. When I first set out to make this I had no idea of the trials and tribulations that would unfold during this seasons run. It’s well documented at this point on this site but Season 6 was predominantly marred by the fact that my partner was taken seriously ill after literally writing the first 2 episodes of this season in September of 2018 (“One Dark Night” and “If Looks could kill“) We’re not talking (Bedridden) ill either; we’re talking full blown hospital level ill. and as a result writing for season 6 ground to a halt after episode 2 and Season 5’s Christmas specials (Which were in the midst of being edited) were put on the backburner to the point that I was literally finalising the edit for “Jack Frost” the day before it was actually set to upload. Which was just insane as I normally edit about 2 months ahead of the actual upload schedule as a rule.

By the end of 2018 all work had stopped on producing new episodes and I was solely caring for my partner and trying to cling onto my Job as a wave of redundencies had recently hit the company. Luckily there seemed to be a period of calm around the beginning of March and by the end of that month I’d actually found a brief window of time to sit down and actually start making notes for a new review (Alongside reworking the two I’d written the previous year to freshen them up a bit) From there my partners health improved, work stabilized and I was finally able to get back on the horse and ride for season 6. and I REALLY didnt want to let the momentum stop once it had gotten underway. pulling a few late nights and making some quite difficult decisions I steamrolled through the first half of season 6 (Up toSilent Running) with little to no trouble. As autumn rolled through things began to get a little more complex, Halloweens kind of a big deal for me and my partner so there was a lot of planning around september time. and then Christmas pretty much starts from November 1st these days so there were a lot of things to circumnavigate at this point.

Still; we battled on and other than 1 or 2 very brief moments of “Squeaky bum time” (Memories of editing “Vamp!” 2 weeks before it was set to go live spring to mind) it was otherwise one of the smoothest runs to the end of the year that i’ve experienced since starting this channel. Christmas was more or less all tied up by the last week of November and i’d started writing season 7 by mid November (which is very shortly due to finish writing and start recording/editing)

I cant honestly say I have fond memories of this period of time. But as I said at the top of the post. im grateful for everything that’s happened while we made this. It’s the longest season we’ve ever done clocking in at 26 episodes + a crossover special and this season introduced me to some ace people like the guys and gals over at the “Inside the Nutshell”. It’s let me watch and talk about some weird and wonerful movies and in hindsight I had fun with this season. even if personally I was suffering a bit.

(Everyone loves the longform stuff. and some of these are absolute classics! I hope you enjoy this marathon of sleaze and weirdness.)

The Commando Comedy Dining Experience (Theatrical Cut) (1985)

After a bit of a gap Myself and my partner in crime Ben are back once again! This time we tackle the 1985 macho Ultra Arnie movie “Commando!” It’s probably my 3rd favourite Arnie movie ever made (The other 2 being “Total Recall” and “Terminator 2”) but this ones easily got some of the best one liners and quotes in it!

 

Terminator Woman (1993)

So We have a bit of an oddity here today. Way back in Season 4 I ended up doing a collaboration with a fellow youtuber Raymond Smith. Ray was in the process of doing a month on “Terminator” Knock off movies and we decided it would be pretty cool if he ended his series of Terminator movies and I ended my 4th Season with a cross over collaboration. The first one I’d ever done non the less!

It was huge fun working with Raymond and I really hope we get the chance to work together again in the future 🙂 He’s a fun reviewer and his channels heaving with movie reviews of every possible shape and size! I highly recommend checking him out some time (You can head straight to his youtube channel by clicking Here)

Unfortunately due to copyright issues half of our collaboration was removed from youtube by a company called “Lasso Entertainment”. Naturally this was most heinous and simply would not stand. So while I’ve been backlogging my reviews over on Breach.tv  I decided it was time to dust this one off and give it a proper home on this site. Breach arnt quite as anal about upholding the whims and wishes of companies who have little or nothing to do with the movies we talk about and actually seems to understand what “Fair Use” is…so they’re an ace company in my books! anyway; before this turns into a mini rant; I hope you enjoy this not as often seen review! You can get to it by either clicking the link below the picture or by clicking the picture itself! Oh! and before I forget! you can check out the second part of this review for the other film we collaborated on 1989’s “Lady Terminator” By clicking Here

TW

This Poster…man…this bloody poster…

https://www.breach.tv/video/6268/terminator-woman-1993-raymond-reviews-ft-tytd-reviews

Mission for the Dragon (Maegwon) (1979)

Once again I decide to cover a martial arts movie. Once again I am dissapointed and baffled by exactly what the hell im watching. seriously I’ve very quickly learnt with the martial arts genre that the fight scenes rarely live up to the expectations of awesomness that the box art offers. but at the same time total randomness and bizarre asides always keep me hooked as I wonder what on earth is going on.

This films no different. Though the themes of Giallo cinema that run through this are very welcome and a refreshing change to the norm. It’s just a shame it isnt more widely utilised.

The only other thing I have to say is that since this episode was recorded and edited I’ve since found some more evidence to suggest that it’s the IMDB listing that is incorrect and that this film IS in fact a Godfrey Ho movie…Though as I said in the review Im not entirely surprised by that. Still Im always one who will admit a correction when needed!

 

(The VHS cover for this film is MUCH too good for this movie. this movie doesnt deserve it.)

 

Equally once again we have a film where finding decent posters or covers for them is remarkably slim. So here’s a copy of the UK VHS cover scanned in at 3k. hope you like it!:

 

Mission for the Dragon

The American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt (1989)

So it’s been just over 2 years since I last watched an American Ninja movie (The American Ninja 2: The Confrontation) and I’ve finally taken the plunge and decided to give another one another go. my review probably wont surprise anyone who’s already seen these movies, but to newcomers all I can say is I hope you like this one!

Whenever I  think of the American Ninja series of films I am chronically reminded of my own failings as a critic. I started on 2! Who starts reviewing a series on the 2nd one!? thats a bit like eating the bread and leaving the filling of a sandwhich! Its something Im hoping to correct at some point in future…I mean…technically I’ve reviewed the Bollywood version of the first American Ninja movie With “Commando” (No not that one) So I suppose im not utterly shameful…I dont know…anyway! here’s AN3BH…I hope you enjoy it as much as I did…

 

(Lazy poster…ohhh so lazy…C- Must try harder)

If Looks Could Kill (1986)

I speak at the start of this review about how VHS covers are sometimes misleading and I really believe that this is the case here. I made a mental note when I first saw this tape in amongst the haul to talk about it at the next possible convenience because I really thought I was getting into a Horror/Gialo-esq movie. maybe something like “The New York Ripper” or “Deep Red” but the reality is this film couldnt really be further from these types of movies. Honestly? I dont really know exactly where to put it in terms of genre…Thriller is about the closest I can assign it…but that implies this film has some kind of suspense when in reality I’ve had more suspensful botty coughs.

Considering the director is well known for exploitation and sexploitation cinema I really was expecting more from this movie…as it stands the cover is probably the best thing about this movie.

This was also the last script I wrote and recorded before I took my hiatus and as such is also the last script I wrote in 2018…which is a bit mad really considering we’re now at the tale end of June 2019 and it’s only just coming out. Still it marks the end of that year officially over here. and as such I feel this is a rather special occasion!

 

(That cover really is impressive mind…I just wish they’d made the film as good…)

 

As Usual when it comes to obscure movies that havent been released on DVD or Bluray that equally have awesome covers. I took a look online for 1986’s “If Looks Could Kill” and while I found some variant covers and a couple of foreign releases I couldnt find this specific cover online in anything close to resembling decent resolution. So in order to help do my bit for the preservation of the arts. I present here a 3k scan of my VHS cover for the UK release of “If Looks Could Kill” Enjoy:

If Looks could Kill

Commando (1988)

Bollywood, had never really been a genre that is explored before…let alone the world of weird and unusual bollywood films. Luckily thanks to a regular viewer Waz I landed with this particular film…and I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

I think the only thing that genuinely put me off this film was the length and the total whiplash of tonal changes that happened throughout it’s over 2 hour run time…I still stand by the idea that realistically you could cut this down to a more than reasonable 40-60 minute short feature and have all the weird and wonderfulness crystallized rather than spread out in the way it’s presented here.

Based on what was here I think I’d like to explore bollywood a bit further, though I’d absolutely have to see some shorter films if I was going to commit!

(COMMANDO! COMMANDO!!!)

The B-Movie Hall of Fame – Part 2 (2018)

To those of you who are unaware I often work to a schedule in producing reviews, it takes roughly 2 weeks to produce 1-2 episodes of my show from initial viewing to final sign off. As I rule i’ve always tried to keep a pretty decent buffer between the last film watched and the latest upload (Usually about 6 – 8 episodes worth) but occasionally I like a challenge and the second half of the B-movie hall of fame was exactly that. while there wernt any intrinsically bad films on this list. Just finding the time to fit them all in with a looming deadline was absolutely one of the quickest turnarounds I’ve ever done on a video upload.

not only did this one contain some of my favorite B-movies to be seen during the challenge but it also offered up some genuinely good oddities that I hadnt heard of before. While im not 100% sure when the next BMHOF challenge will be; I really hope that im up and ready again to take it on!

 

 

(I can wholeheartedly recommend “Cherry 2000” seriously…go and check it out…it’s great!)