Truck Turner (1974)

So! We’re back! Season 8 non the less! and let me tell you now. Im pretty bloody exhausted. Having spent the entire summer pretty much backing and forthing with renovations and builders (A blog on that will be on the way shortly) I finally got the media room up and running and decided to finally get going on exporting all the season 8 episodes i’d worked on (8 epiosdes) ready to schedule in, upload and forget about.

Life had other ideas. Basically; my harddrive decided to die. Normally this would be devestating as, because I was planning to do backups once things were back up and running, to switch my harddrive on and find it’d basically died BEFORE I could back anything up. meant I’d effectively lost 2-3 months work with 1 week to launch day.

That at least WOULD have been the case if someone hadnt clearly been sent to “Guardian Angel” me. y’see…while I’d lost the original exports, I did still have partial access to the drive. I could view everything on there and I could even transfer off some of the small (KB) files and VERY mercifully for me, I’d saved not only all the original Premiere pro edit files for all the episodes i’d worked on, but i’d also saved *almost* all the raw elements that made up the edit. So I simply bought a new drive, migrated all the raw elements over (It still took nearly 2 days to do that) and then on the new, fully working drive, re-exported all the video files from there. *Boom!* I was back up and in business…there were a couple of minor losses. any episode that used VHS footage predominantly had to be recaptured back in and adjusted so the cuts all matched and there were one or two raw .jpg’s and .png’s that i’d misplaced during the transfer which meant I had to do a couple of substitutes. But yeh; everythings pretty much back on track.

Ultimately; I lost about 3-4 days of editing time due to this harddrive error, but considering I could have literally lost everything I could myself exceedingly lucky. ladies and gents. im normally a very careful man when it comes to backups. and the story that happened here should be a warning to each and every one of you. ALWAYS. MAKE. BACKUPS. because next time, you may not be as lucky as I was.

ANYWAY!; New season! season 8! it’s a shorter run due simply to a mixture of the renovation work overrunning and the harddrive failure. it was originally planned as an 18 episode run + a collab. thats now been knocked down to a 16 episode run and im not 100% sure about the collaboration. But we’ve still got plenty in store to take you all the way from now until the end of December! So put on your dancing trousers and get down to the totally and utter king of funk and soul “Isaac Hayes”

This is one movie, I CAN dig.

The Original Poster for this is okay. But I personally find it a bit too busy. I much MUCH prefer the 101 films Bluray cover.

Finishing the Complete Seventh Season (2020)

Season 7 was all in, arguably, one of the most entertaining and fun seasons to work on for me in a while. While Season 6 had the freshness of starting from the ground up to some extent given I’d been on a reletively short hiatus. This season to me, really felt like it had some momentum behind it. The wheels were spinning as early as late October 2019 in writing some of these episodes (My review of “The Warriors” being the first one that made it into the can) but work would continue right up until mid/late march to ensure that everything could be done in time!

For the most part, this season was pretty much decided right from the off…or at least 2/3rds of it were already pre-chosen. Originally “The Warriors” was going to open the season until I saw Cozzi’s “Hercules” about 10-11 episodes into writing for the season and I realised that that would be the PERFECT way to kick off this seasons run. the 4 part “Sleepaway Camp” summer special also came about pretty much at the last minute too, As I’d wanted to do a month on the Sleepaway camp movies pretty much since the 2nd season of theses reviews but could never quite fit them in amongst the other bits and pieces i’d got going on.

Salo: The Musical” was another one that had been in the making for a year or two before I finally decided to pull the trigger. it’s easily one of the most time consuming videos I’ve ever made in relation to it’s length. it may only be a couple of minutes or so long. but I assure you it took damn near a month of solid writing, recording, performing and motion tracking (For reference; the average 15-20 minute review on here generally takes about a week to complete from watching to final upload)

My favourite review of this season? is probably either “The Perils of Gwendolyn in the land of the Yik Yak“, “Salo” or “Return to Sleepaway Camp” all three were total labours of love (And hate) and im So happy with how they turned out as an end result.

All in all, this was just a damn fun season to work on, and while the steam that made up the creative process may have just started to dry burn towards the very end (Try and show me a way to be enthusiastic about having to spend a week with “Return to Sleepaway Camp”) overall; this was a total blast! I met some super interesting people over the last few months including the team over at Mutantfam.com who’ve recently agreed to host my work in an affiliated capacity. The Guys over at “Survivors Guilt“,”Video Creep“, “The Channel 83 Podcast” (Who were a top bunch of lads and had me on there show!) “The Best Little Horror House in Philly” and GG over at the “Midnight Movie Monster” Blog! Not only have they helped keep this Schlock jock sane during the absolute “Deep Hurting” that these films can bring in, but they’ve even contributed to helping make my content better and are all great people you should definitely go and check out at the next convenience!

At the time of writing my office/entertainment room is under renovation. everything is in boxes packed away and it wont be until August before we’re ready to reopen the archive and get back on track with the edit schedule. However! that’s not to say that this season is necissarily “Completely”

EDIT!: ITS THE FUTURE! and im just popping back in to remove the “Coming soon!” mystery bumper that I ran at the end of this article during the summer to say…well; you guys. I did a sneaky and popped just one more review into the mix to round us up to a healthy 18. and it’s a doozy! a collab with another youtuber and a great way to see out the end of the summer! 1981’s “The Burning” revisited, rewritten, reviewed and re-packaged! So! if you saw this article before and thought it was only 17 times cooler than the average seaon…well; now it’s 18 times cooler than that!!!

The “From Russia With Love” Comedy Dining Experience (1963)

So! it’s been a month! We’ve all learnt how to read (Im assured) And so we’ve arrived on the 2nd entry into our long LOOOOONG trip through every Bond movie ever made ever! Due to the lockdown unfotunately while we’ve recorded some new episodes. it’s been at least a couple of months (Mainly due to poor internet connections) since we last recorded one. hopefully the situation will improve slightly and we’ll be able to pick back up again.

At this point; we’ve almost done the whole rest of this year (Barring 2 months or so) so im keeping hopeful we’ll be able to see the year out in style!

Anyway! Here’s From Russia with love! and im sure you guys know what to expect by now 😉

(I REALLY love this poster style…I need to get a portrait done in this style at some point)

The Warriors (1979)

So! We return to the “Drive in double features” next week, but in between we have ourselves a brief intermission. I was definitely a latecomer to “The Warriors” considering most people i’ve spoken too seemingly grew up with it, it was only in 2019 that I finally sat myself down and gave the theatrical cut of this a spin. And I more or less fell in love with it. While the “Directors Cut” is definitely a significant step down in my opinion, The Theatrical cut is a version I’ll happily sit through again and again, and the fact I do have the option to own this digitally in the correct cut is at least some concillation from the fact that I cant own it physically (Without great expense).

This was the first review I wrote for this season WAAAAAY back in early October 2019. it was going to be the season opener right up until the second to last minute when I decided “Hercules 1983” definitely had more pull as a solid opener. it then quickly slipped from episode 1, to 5, to 10. I always feel the further into the production I get writing wise the stronger the episodes come out, but I also feel that it’s very distinctly a bit of a bell curve, with my early works being a bit scattershot, the stuff in the middle being my best pieces and the stuff towards the end feeling a touch rushed as I race to the finish line. So while im not saying this is a shit review for this movie, I do feel in hindsight I could have maybe been a touch more concise…but then; Im my own worst critic at times. we live and learn, and thats the important thing.

So; here it is! “The Warriors”, if you only read this brief lead in and nothing more. All I can say to you is, go watch “The Warriors”. it’s a campy, solid little picture that when taken at just the right headspace will probably become a firm favourite!

(Modern iterations of this poster lose the white border and just have the films logo in red at the top of the artwork…I personally find that version much more palletable. This versions the origianl though and it was so high res I simply couldnt say no!)

Death Force (1978)

So i’ve slowly been accumulating a large number of Vinegar Syndromes “Drive in” double features range. Generally being based in the UK, if Im ordering from VS I have to do it in bulk because of rediculous shipping and customs charges. So when my baskets heaving with goodies both hardcore and otherwise I’ll usually either chuck a couple of there drive in movie sets or there peep show sets in…mainly for the lol’s because they seem like reasonable value for money.

but with us now in the midst of a lockdown of sorts I decided to use my time to both work through my “To watch” pile (Which; seriously…it was out of control before this Corona bollocks all kicked off) and to work on writing episodes of my show for you guys. This and it’s B-picture counter part (Coming VERY soon) were some of the last episodes I wrote. Originally this season was supposed to be 14 episodes long. But then I realised that would mean the newest season would end at the end of May and leave 2-3 months gap before the next season started…so I bumped the episode count up to 18 (19 if a collaboration I was working on Pre-lockdown ever gets released) and this double feature film was one of the last ones to make the cut (I believe I’ve only written 2 scripts after this to complete the block).

These particular movies wernt great. This was definitely the better of the 2 pictures. but it’s definitely got me interested to do something similar again in future. I have another 4 of these to get through at some point so I look forward to seeing what the future holds!

(This is an example of a poster looking FAR FAR FARRR!!! better than the movie in question…)

Dark Breed (1996)

Well; We’re back on the Prism Leisure movies and that can only mean one thing! Superphantasmacraporia! yes we’re back in the kind of tat that could barely sell more than 5 copies as a standalone release so they’ve been bundled onto a multi film/single disc release to try and squeeze as much cash from hard working punters as possible.

One thing that did dawn on  me most recently is just how weird the context of these multi disc sets really were when you think about them…I mean; here you have DVD a fully digital (and for the time) super sharp revolutionary way to watch your films that little bit closer to how the film makers originally intended. gone was the fuzz, gone was the degeneration, gone was the hissy soundtrack. And whats one of the first things they decide to bundle in with early DVD players as a way of shifting units? Why! 25-50 movies that were all shot on a shoe and made for a budget of £5 in a capark, bit crushed to within an inch of there lives and dumped on a single DVD. What astounding revolutionary leaps!

I mean; they dont even have the excuse of “well; it’s impressive that they could fit 2-4 movies on a single disc” because towards the end of VHS’s lifespan they too were able to do double…and sometimes even TRIPLE features on a single tape (I have a few of those tucked away)…I get that it was supposed to represent value for money. that you’d be in the shop and the salespersone could say “Well look! we’re selling it for £70 AND you get ALL THESE FREE MOVIES WITH THEM!!!” and in some of the earlier releases there were some pretty cool movies bundled in (One of the multi disc sets I have is full of crap but it does have Witchboard and Waxwork on it…which frankly are streets ahead of “Lets ruin Dads day” or “Final Scream” I dunno…It just seems weird to me that anyone would be incentivised to buy a cheap DVD player with a load of crappy films and it be the crappy films that sold it. but I imagine a fair few did fly off the shelves back in the day because of it.

(I have very fond memories of my grandad buying his first DVD player and it coming with a metric crap ton of multi film DVDs…that was how I was introduced to the “Robocop TV Movies” and the “Species” franchise…god that was a fun and terrible weekend!)

(This poster is just so cheap looking…im pretty sure it’s fan made…but that would imply this film had fans…)

Ghost Warrior (Swordkill) (1984)

I’ll  be absolutely honest, in hindsight Swordkill was a bit of a letdown to me. dont get me wrong I still stand by my review of it, and I still agree with all of it. The problem I have once again lies purely with myself in the sense that this movie was marketed to me as something that it most definitely isnt.

I was expecting full blown Troma carnage with crazy over the top action scenes, some terrible good/bad acting and maybe a few crazy set pieces…the reality was that this film was much MUCH more subtle, subdued and more in line with generic action films than I had anticipated. that doesnt make this a bad movie…but because the internet and several friends had told me just how CERRRRAZZY! this movie was. I bought into the hype and came away a bit underwhelmed…now I understand that thats a hangup I have to live with myself. But whenever I review movies I think it’s important to try and set the record as straight as possible with movies. mainly because one of the main reasons I got into reviewing in the first place was because I got fed up of misinformation or people selling movies as something that they just arnt…

So yeh…Swordkill. it’s not bad. it’s not some crazy “out there” movie…it’s just alright…and thats good enough for me!

(That VHS artwork is bloody brilliant!)

The “Dr. No” Comedy Dining Experience (1962)

After almost a month away, Me and Ben are back at the commentaries again! and this time we thought we’d start a little ongoing project. a few years ago now when both me and Ben lived together we decided to make a deal, Ben had only seen a handful of episodes of the new series of “Doctor who” and I had only seen a few “James Bond” movies. So we both agreed to watch each others respected area of fandom and experience these slices of Britishness first hand.

Well it took us about a year and a half but we watched every episode of Doctor who made at the time (“An Unearthly Child”/”Time of the Doctor”) but then many years passed and we never got round to covering the Bond movies…Until now!

So Bi-monthly from here on in we’ll be posting a new commentary for a Bond movie at regular intervals! So far we’ve watched 5 of them (“On her Majesties Secret Service” is set to record next week!) and it’s certainly been a learning curve for me! But starting things off we have “Dr.No” a more than reasonable start to kick the franchise off in style!

 

(Thank god for white sound stage shots of Connery!)

The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak (1984)

This (So Far) has been the most stressfull episode I’ve released of this season. The reason being that a company called “Europacorp” have a master copy of this movie logged with youtube on a “Block worldwide” copyright notice. As such. the moment I uploaded this episode, it blocked worldwide. I disputed it; and they forgot to respond to the dispute…that’s literally the only reason you’re able to watch this “Uncut” on youtube. Seriously; up until Tuesday of this week (the 24th of March 2020) I was so certain this episode was going to be shot down that I re-edited it in the same way that I did with my review of “Emmanuelle“.

Another reason I was so on edge about this review being blocked is that personally; and not to blow my own horn here too much…Im really proud with how the edit turned out for this one. sometimes I dont quite manage to put across the exact way I feel about a film through the editing…but with this one. I personally think I nailed it. so I really hope you enjoy this weeks review. it’s a weird one!

(All the posters for this movie kind of suck a bit (They’re not awful…they’re just not great)…but the Severin films slip art for this movie is absolutely gorgeous!)

Hercules (1983)

We’re Back! and it feels like Bloody ages since I put the lid on Season 6. I started writing season 7 back in early November last year and originally this episode was supposed to be the 10th in this seasons run. I’d never seen it before and apart from being a bit of a fan of Lou Ferrigno’s film work I couldnt have told you anything about this before I hit play. as soon as the credits rolled I knew that this one simply HAD to be the opener. it’s so perfect to hit the ground running! Giant robot monsters, space bears and rainbows just…bloody…everywhere!

we’re back now for a 17 week run (Plus plenty of extras along the way!) we hope you enjoy this new series!

 

(That poster man!…this would sell ANYONE to go and check this thing out!)