Vampire Hookers (Twice Bitten) (1978)

So; Vampire Hookers, the 2nd part of our “Drive in movie” specials which started with “Death Force” a couple of weeks previously. This to me; is the weaker of the two ventures. While it is better in some regards (The Cine is a definite bump up in quality and the soundtracks about even with Death Forces…) it’s just so poor in terms of scripting, acting (Not to mention all the Homophobia, mild racism and mysoginy peppered throughout) it’s just a not particularly nice film to sit through.

As I mention in the review; I first picked this movie up independently of this set on VHS when it was under it’s UK title of “Twice Bitten” and the UK release manages to be somehow even worse than the US version as what little horror and eroticism IS in this movie is missing from the UK version. Twice bitten has a hell of a VHS cover though (As seen in the introduction to this video) and that was what initially sold me…had I known it was “Vampire Hookers” in disguise I wouldnt have bought it…

This one was planned as part of last years themed month on Vampires. But when I found out how awful the quality was, and how little Vampires actually even factored into the plot I decided to hold off on reviewing it. My thinking was to maybe include it in a “Vampires 2” themed month if I ever got round to it…but then I found out it’s US title, I realised it was already part of this drive in set and I figured it was too shit to showcase as a prime Halloween watch. And well; Here we are!

(The posters not bad for this…but it could be so much better…I mean; the whole thing could be so much better…but still…)

Mad Cows (1999)

It’s been a very long time since I covered a british comedy….in fact if memory serves the last one I covered would have been waaaaay back in Season 4 When I took a look at “Whoops Apocalypse” Reviewing comedies isnt quite as rewarding as the other types of films I talk about on here…for one thing if they’re bad comedies they can be incredibly painful to sit through in a totally unenjoyable way and in another being a rather passionate comedy fan. if I want to invest some of my time into talking about comedy, I want to make sure im covering something I’ll want to remember.

Mad Cows is not one of those movies…its not even close to being one of those movies. As mentioned I first heard about this film via Cook’d and Bomb’d a message board that specialises in comedy. This was listed by one of there users as one of the worst british comedies ever made. I still dont think its THAT bad…but my god…give this one a swerve if you can.

It’s not fundamentally awful it’s just the fact its so border irritating. Anyway; I’ve said my piece. i’ll let the review do the death blow.

(This isnt an official poster…the official poster was too 90’s…it said nothing about the film and looked garish…I Mean; this poster doesnt really say anything about the film either…but it’s closer than the official one…)

The “Pink Flamingos” Comedy Dining Experience (1972)

So in a bit of a first (And what with it being Valentines day) me and the missus decided to sit down and watch the first movie we ever went on a date together to see (She had never seen it before…and yes 8 and half years later she’s still with me!)

We had a great time and hopefully she’ll  be joining us in a few more commentaries in future! So sit down on the couch (Unless it rejects you), Shit in a box and prepare to “Pa-pa OOH mow mow!” yourself into a coma as we work our way through a film on the filthiest people alive!

 

(Finding a Hi-res image of “Pink Flamingos” era devine is bloody hard man!)

Finishing the Complete Sixth Series (2019)

To say that it’s a miracle that this season even got made is an understatement in and of itself. When I first set out to make this I had no idea of the trials and tribulations that would unfold during this seasons run. It’s well documented at this point on this site but Season 6 was predominantly marred by the fact that my partner was taken seriously ill after literally writing the first 2 episodes of this season in September of 2018 (“One Dark Night” and “If Looks could kill“) We’re not talking (Bedridden) ill either; we’re talking full blown hospital level ill. and as a result writing for season 6 ground to a halt after episode 2 and Season 5’s Christmas specials (Which were in the midst of being edited) were put on the backburner to the point that I was literally finalising the edit for “Jack Frost” the day before it was actually set to upload. Which was just insane as I normally edit about 2 months ahead of the actual upload schedule as a rule.

By the end of 2018 all work had stopped on producing new episodes and I was solely caring for my partner and trying to cling onto my Job as a wave of redundencies had recently hit the company. Luckily there seemed to be a period of calm around the beginning of March and by the end of that month I’d actually found a brief window of time to sit down and actually start making notes for a new review (Alongside reworking the two I’d written the previous year to freshen them up a bit) From there my partners health improved, work stabilized and I was finally able to get back on the horse and ride for season 6. and I REALLY didnt want to let the momentum stop once it had gotten underway. pulling a few late nights and making some quite difficult decisions I steamrolled through the first half of season 6 (Up toSilent Running) with little to no trouble. As autumn rolled through things began to get a little more complex, Halloweens kind of a big deal for me and my partner so there was a lot of planning around september time. and then Christmas pretty much starts from November 1st these days so there were a lot of things to circumnavigate at this point.

Still; we battled on and other than 1 or 2 very brief moments of “Squeaky bum time” (Memories of editing “Vamp!” 2 weeks before it was set to go live spring to mind) it was otherwise one of the smoothest runs to the end of the year that i’ve experienced since starting this channel. Christmas was more or less all tied up by the last week of November and i’d started writing season 7 by mid November (which is very shortly due to finish writing and start recording/editing)

I cant honestly say I have fond memories of this period of time. But as I said at the top of the post. im grateful for everything that’s happened while we made this. It’s the longest season we’ve ever done clocking in at 26 episodes + a crossover special and this season introduced me to some ace people like the guys and gals over at the “Inside the Nutshell”. It’s let me watch and talk about some weird and wonerful movies and in hindsight I had fun with this season. even if personally I was suffering a bit.

(Everyone loves the longform stuff. and some of these are absolute classics! I hope you enjoy this marathon of sleaze and weirdness.)

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

So just a quick post here; I was very graciously invited to take part in a collaboration with the team over at the “Inside the Nutshell” youtube channel. They’re a really good bunch of people and I was more than happy to take part! (They’ve also helped me with my review of the 1981 equal to this movie “Shock Treatment”) so be sure to check this one out!

You can check out their youtube channel here! and I highly recommend you do as they have some great stuff on their and some even more goodness to come! 🙂

 

(Loving the Thumbnail btw guys!)

The “Head” (1968) Comedy Dining Experience

Well after a hell of a break we’re back!…sort of! (Admittedly this “Comedy Dining experience” for the Monkees 1968 breakout film “Head” was recorded almost 12 months ago to the day. But! The important thing is it’s new and its here!

We recently laid down 2 more commentaries as well coming in the near future and we’re hoping to meet up again for more soon too so keep those eyes peeled!

For now though enjoy what I can best describe as confused ramblings!

The Bikini Model Academy (2015) Comedy Dining Experience

After we enjoyed recording a commentary for “Threads” so much both myself and my co-host Ben Decided to do a couple more and see if the “Magic” was just a one off or whether we had a thing going here…this is the first of 3 films we covered in one evening (The 2nd is “Coming soon”) the 3rd…well…im not sure what to do with that one (Alcohol and Cheeseburgers are a daaaangerous mix)

Either way we felt happy enough with that session that we have more of these pencilled in coming soon so if you cant be bothered to sit through Bikini model academy WITHOUT 2 people taking the piss out of it I highly advise you give our full length commentary a go!

Finishing the Complete Forth Series (2018)

Series 4 was a sturdy season if ever there was one. While I have quite fond memories of the opening half, the latter half to me did seem to drag a little. Though this was almost entirely my own fault.y’see when I was structuring this season I made 2 seemingly small mistakes which completely through my season off kilter. first and foremost. I overproduced. there was a “Red Triangle” episode that was supposed to be part of this season. But due to my collaboration with Raymond it ended up being pushed off the schedule and into Season 5 (You’ll see it in November)…but that threw me out by nearly a week due to the time it took to make the episode.

The other issue that I encountered was that I had assumed that “Armed Response” was some kind of cop drama…it wasnt. it’s a martial arts movie. and I didnt realise it was a martial arts movie till I was sat watching it and it had been locked into the schedules. meaning that an entire months worth of videos was almost entirely made up of martial arts/action movies! which kind of began to grate on me a little bit (Im having similar problems with season 5 at the minute as I’ve discovered I have a few too many kids films in the mix for my taste personally)

Ignoring that though Season 4 has some gems in there in my opinion. “Tales from the Quadead zone” was a brilliantly fun little film to sit through, I was able to continue my reviews of the live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies, I covered “Braindead“! a Peter Jackson Classic! and I had my mind fully rotted away by “Bikini Model Academy” and it was an out and out pleasure to be able to work with my “Comedy dining experience” partner in crime Ben in producing my first year anniversair special on Public Information Films (PIF’s to you and me)

This was also the season that would see the launch of “The ______Comedy dining experience” and im hoping there’ll be more of these in future! so do keep your eyes peeled!

All in all, I liked working on this season…half of it was done while I was in a very mellow place and half of it was done under some very heavy stress…whether that shows or not I cant really say…this is also the last season where I really get a say on whats being reviewed until 2019 at least…what with Halloween and Christmas on the Horizon…so savour it! it’ll be a while till we’re back on the freewheeling days of pick what you want!

(It’s a shorter run than normal, but I like to think that just means the quality is more concentrated)

Bikini Model Academy – (2015)

…I got nothing for this one. Eveything I want to say about this film is in this review. the only thing that I would like to add is watching this review back after 2-3 months since I finished it. I would like to point out that I mention how much nudity and sex is in the film at one point without really stating why. it was a deleted line from the script and I was supposed to deliver it with a bit of a different inflection to what ultimately made it into the final cut. my goal was to say that basically for a film thats so desperate to be porn its arguably one of the tamest films to feature live breasts that i’ve ever seen and heres exactly why it is that tame. However it ends up coming out in this review like Im basically saying “THERES ONLY 4 BOOBS AND 2 SEX SCENES. SAD FACE! GOING HOME!”

I would also just quickly like to say that this got flagged up for copyright and was blocked…this time by a 3rd party content id bot…so not even an actual company could be bothered to police the IP of this thing…not that I blame the filmmakers for that…if i’d made this film I’d rather send a bot out to flag it down than have to watch this film again…

This is an objectifying, boring, and slightly mysoginistic piece of work in my opinion. I showed it to “Friend of the show” Ben one night while we were slowly getting drunk on the finest spirit based whisky drink ever manufactured. and he concurred…you may find out more about that conversation at a later date. but for now. all I can say is; Im sorry for what your about to experience. Really. Truely I am.

(What is Gary Bueseys face even doing in this poster!?…)

Whoops Apocalypse (1986)

Its not often that I find a film that contains so many faces im familliar with yet at the same time has absolutely failed to bring itself to my attention. And yet Whoops Apocalypse is one of those movies. I literally didnt know it existed until I actively started to look for VHS tapes on Ebay. it was while I was on there that I saw someone was selling a Big box ex-rental of this movie having seen it starred Peter Cook I quite wrongly assumed it was some kind of rare find. I bid nearly £15 for that time and im kind of glad I got outbit because I was able to pick up the DVD copy of this film for about a fiver.

Its a bit of a hodge podge of a movie, about a third of it works really bloody well, about a third of it is okay and about a third of its bloody awful. But the good bits hit quite nicely and while I’ll be the first to say it wont be a film i’ll be revisiting for a while, it does have enough good moments in it that if you’ve never seen it before and you have access to it I’d say check it out.

Its a bit of a strange movie and a real oddity to me. I dont think I’ve seen anything quite like it really. Peter Cook and Rik Mayall are the definite highlights of this picture and are worth the price of admission on there own.

(Of all the promotional materials I’ve seen the VHS carton boxart (Above) is my favourite…what on earth is happening there!)