The Visitants (1986)

My relationship with Rick sloan the film maker is a bit of a bizarre one. In the sense that I first saw a Rick Sloan movie about 10 years ago at this point when I stumbled on the MST3K riffed version of “Hobgoblins” I thought the film was impressively awful in a “So bad its good” kind of way and I really got a kick out of it. But then; at the time that I saw “Hobgoblins” it was very much apparent that almost NON of Sloans other films had managed to make it over the atlantic. And; with no way of getting my hands on anymore even via illicit means (because; lets be honest. WHO is torrenting Rick Sloan movies!?) I just kind of accepted that “Hobgoblins” would probably be the only Rick Sloan film i’d ever watch and I left it at that.

Jump forward 9 years and I took out a subscription to “Full Moon Features” online streaming service (which; as an aside, if your a fan of B-movies, horror, exploitation or other strange stuff…they dont just host Full Moon films on there. they actually have a pretty decent chunk of Severin films and Vinegar Syndromes output too!) anyway; I took out a subscription and it turned out they had almost ALL of Sloans filmography ready loaded and good to go.

It was there where I first saw “Blood Theatre” Rick Sloans earliest film currently available. and I fell head over heels for it. In fact; I intended to review it in this very season until I realised that i’d already got a couple of horror movies in my roster for this seasons run AND that next season (season 10) is looking quite horror heavy as it is! SO! after watching Blood Theatre, I went over to Vinegar Syndromes website and bought the Bluray. which; as it turns out is a double feature with this film! so; realising i’d landed myself with a double feature. when it turned up I decided to check this one out first…and; in many ways, it’s almost AS enjoyable as Blood Theatre. but with it *Technically* being a sci-fi movie it fit in much better with this seasons run.

After watching this I went back to Full Moon and tried Sloans “Vice Academy” movies, but I just couldnt get into them, I find that he works best when he’s writing for genre’s that arn’t comedy. because he has a bit of a zany comedic tone to his work it makes all his genre attempts have a nice campy edge. but when he writes for comedy he ramps things up to the next level and it just becomes a bit irritating to me.

I also tried to watch his sequel to “Hobgoblins” but in a rare instance and a breaking of my own rules of “Thou shalt not hit stop till the credits” I had to bail on “Hobgoblins 2” this was made in the 2000’s and was VERY clearly made at a point where Sloan had well and truely realised people liked him making bad movies. so it was intentionally gross out and awful and…I just couldnt make it past the halfway point. I tried dear reader, I really did. but sometime films are even too bad for me.

Anyway! I hope to cover more Sloan in the future! and as for “The Visitants” it’s good! I really liked it. and I hope you like it too!

As for whats going on in this film poster? your guess is as good as mine. It’s bizarrely mezmorising.

Deathrow Gameshow (1987)

Deathrow Gameshow is one of those movies that was forever a part of my “Oooh I’ll pick it up next time” lists. Anyone who lives outside of the US or Canada will probably no doubt appreciate that importing films is an expensive game. In fact at the time of writing with the pandemic in full swing and Brexit flossing it’s teeth ready for the big chomp the costs of importing are already beginning to show themselves. With even light items such as single discs without cases or even a single disc light weight DVD costing anywhere between $35 and $85 in just the cost of shipping alone.

As such; I have to be choosey on films I choose to get from Vinegar Syndrome or Severin Films or AGFA purely because; picking up a bad film I dont like stops being mildly inconvenient and starts being financially unviable as a game.

And so we have the “I’ll get it next time” culture. During sales I’ll fill my basket with all manner of goodies and then inevitably see the cost of shipping, lose my shit, and have to put things back. Deathrow Gameshow is a film I’ve probably put back about 4 times before finally picking it up in 2019…and even then it just…sat on my shelf for the best part of a year and a half being overlooked by what I at the time considered better movies or for films that were time sensitive and could only be seen within a certain window of time.

And in many ways I really regret not checking in on this one sooner. I mainly put it down to the poster/cover art which; to me? I find quite ugly. Thats not to say the original VHS artwork was exactly “Dazzling” but I dunno; something about the poster art (see below in the thumbnail) just…doesnt sell this movie to me. it feels cheap. it feels like it’s going to be attempting to ape existing movies (I personally get real Shock Treatment vibes off it) it just doesnt feel like the kind of movie thats worth $55+ when shippings factored in (there or there abouts).

But Y’know what? if you can look past the garish and uninteresting promotional material for this one, theres quite a bit to have fun with! it’s an easy going film that relies on quite well written “Stupid/Manic” comedy to get the job done. and while the miss rate is noticeable on gags. the hits are really solid! but…I’ve probably said too much here. Check out my full review below if you want the deep dive!

Ugh…that poster…like I say; neither the VHS artwork or this are particularly great. but I just…REALLY dont get on with this one.

The “Casino Royale” (1967) Comedy Dining Experience

So! a new season of TYTD Reviews in imminently upon us, BUT! as we’re still on a break until February 5th on the reviews front, it means all you lucky people get a double helping of the Comedy Dining Experience this time round! And as a way of seeing off the 60’s and the connery era on the whole we thought it best to bookend this decade with arguably one of the messiest, most calamatous films we’ve ever covered.

This film is a frantic mess, it pains me really to call it a film AND THATS ME TALKING! but both me and Ben had quite the blast doing this one. Unfortunately we did encounter a few audio issues with this recording. for reasons we’re not entirely sure how or why the audio seemingly drifts helplessly off course from the 30 minute point onwards. in spite of us clap synching in AND out when I lined up the audio it just seemed to drift further and further away. This is the only episode this drift issue has happened on and we can only put it down to the fact that Ben had to send me his side of this recording via a burnt CD-R

So maybe it was read/write speeds? maybe it was playback issues? I dont know. either way this version *Should* in theory stay synched to the whole film (Or at the very least. it begins when the film begins and ends when the credits finish without the drift being too noticable a problem.

So! this is it! the end of 60’s era Bond! We’ll be giving you guys a double helping of commentaries in February, though no Bond this month while we gear up for the new reviews. We’ll be back on the Bond scene in March with “Live and Let die” and from there normal service will resume as we tackle 70’s Bond!

This poster is Some kind of a woman! MUCHA MUCHACHA!!!

Finishing the Complete Eighth Season (2020)

Given what was going on at the time this season was being created its a miracle that you’re even seeing the below playlist quite honestly. Season 8 was the first season to be full written during the Pandemic (I believe the first script was written some time in April and the last script was finally penned in October) and; though I think back on this season from the comfy room of 2021 with the sense that it was all “Too Easy” when I actually stop and think what was going on, it definitely seems to be quite the opposite.

For a starters, there was the pandemic. Which; well, it was good in some ways…through April,May and June I was pretty much stuck in a national lockdown with nothing to do BUT write and edit these scripts. That and working from home allowed a greater flexibility in my working hours allowing me to work scriptwriting and editing into my lunch breaks.

The downside to all this however was that the lockdown effected my partners health quite severely, leading to a number of trips to the hospital and, not wanting to go into too much detail, but a few very important people in our lives had to move on to new ventures (They’re not dead! we just cant really be involved with them anymore!) which really didnt help the mood.

Then from June to September I was in the middle of renovations. and Ladies and Gents. Let me be frank. I know these renovations were a long time overdue (at least 15 years overdue) I know they desperately needed doing, and now im sat here in a lush, gorgeous new space writing this out Im happy I did what I did. at the time I was in abject misery. I ached pretty much non stop from stripping wallpaper, taking light fittings out and carrying heavy flat pack furniture and hard wood exceedingly and almost comical distances. I loathed having to sofa surf during a pandemic because the room where my Bed is was being used as storage. I detested the fact the the weather was a near constant 36-40 degrees celcius and that buildings in britain are built to keep heat IN not let it OUT.

In fact; the only good memory I have of the summer of 2020 was that, at one point, the conditions of the lockdown lifted and I was able to take my car out on a quasi long distance run (like; 50-60 miles round trip) where the sun was delightful, the music was good, the roads were empty and I was living my best life for all of an hour and 30 minutes. The rest of it, was arse.

Equally; the Renovations ran drastically over. meaning what should have been an 18 episode run for this season ended up having to be cut down to a 16 episode run + 1 collaboration. which was not ideal…but luckily I’ve been able to carry over the 2 dropped episodes into Season 9.

So September rolled around, I jumped on my machine, edited together the first 6 episodes of this season and then my harddrive exploded. as in, literally shut down. couldnt get anything on or off it that was bigger than 2gb in size. it was dead. and…for a time I panicked. I panicked violently because on that drive were all 17 audio recordings, 6 edited episodes and all of my current branding material.

Mercifully, through a mixture of cloud storage solutions and periodic backups I was able to recover, relink and rexport ALL the original premiere pro files. which meant in as little as 5 days I went from losing everything to being back in the race. and…mercifully at least, from there things went very smoothly. the last 2 episodes written and recorded were “Garfields Halloween Adventure” and “Silent Night Deadly Night” which were both done in October, both recorded at my partners flat in a hurry and both edited on the hoof to try and get them out the door and into the schedules (I really hope it doesnt show)

Season 8 was an absolute Journey to complete and when a collaborative effort involving 7 people is the EASIEST part of editing for the season. you know somethings not quite gone right. It was a good one in terms of the films I got to see though, “Truck Turner” is probably one of my all time favourite Blacksplotation films, “Silent Night, Deadly Night” was a hoot of a first time watch, Reviewing AND doing a commentary for “Robot in the Family” was brain meltingly entertaining and whats more. I got to experience all of these wonderful film moments with friends. which…at a time when isolation is one of the biggest by-products of this whole blasted neusence. was incredibly life affirming.

So this is me; closing the door once and for all on Season 8. another chapter in TYTD History. Not to let the Ego run ahead of me, but I think seasons 7 and 8 have heralded some of the best work I’ve ever done. and I really hope Season 9 and 2021 keep that momentum going.

The “Spice World” (1997) Comedy Dining Experience

Right! First Comedy Dining Experience of 2021 and this is one Bens been requesting for LITERAL YEARS, at this point (Im not joking.) and you know what? he’s actually managed to get me back into the spice girls for the first time in at least 20 odd years. I was always reluctant as I thought this film would be a bit of a slog and too polished to really be covered on this channel (I was thinking it was basically just going to be all of the girls hits played one after another with maybe 10 seconds of plot inserted in between songs so that they could call it a film)

But I was wrong! Spice World is an actual proper real film with a plot and everything! and yes it’s a bit daft and yes! it’s not going to win a bafta anytime soon, but y’know what? IT WAS FUN! so much so that im now the proud owner of this films soundtrack on Vinyl. So to Ben I say; Thanks…or “CURSES!!!” or…whatever. im so steeped in postmodern irony at this point I literally dont know if disliking the spice girls is even a thing.

Equally! we were able to get an expert on this film to join us! Raymond! making his second ever appearence on the CDE having just been released from therapy to combat the effects of “Robot in the Family” At first we thought it would be a bit of fun to bring someone in to watch this who was probably the furthest away from the spice girls core demographic. but y’know what? Ray absolutely knocked this one out of the park! it turns out he actually DOES know a thing or two about the spice girls and easily…EASILY had the best gag on this commentary. we’re already talking about having him back in the near future and we highly recommend you check his channel out when your next available to!

So pop up some popcorn, get the prosecco on standby and prepare to “Spice up your life!”

Im still trying to decide which who’s who out of the above pictured. I think I may be the Dog…I dont know about Ben and Raymond though.

The “Hocus Pocus” (1993) Comedy Dining Experience

Happy Halloween everyone! Yes it’s late, Yes it’s nearly December. but goddamnit I have to catch up on this damn website one way or another…ANYWAY. This was the VERY LAST commentary that Me, Ben and Laura recorded together before Covid hit the UK in such a way that a full scale national lockdown was called. In fact this is a rather special recording in the sense that it was done literally the night before I was told I would be working from home for the foreseeable and only 4 days before the national lockdown was called. We spent the evening together, ate pizza, hung out, drank and laughed our asses through what was probably the last group get together we’re likely to have this year and for the forseeable.

While their are more commentaries on the way its been a bit of a trial and error process to get them done, in the interim we trialled doing these remotely with mixed results due to lack of hardware. one episode worked fine, one episode had problems and one was unusable. Between you and me, when the restrictions were at their lowest and we were allowed to meet indoors in groups of 6 or less Ben was also able to pop round to get 3 more recordings done with me which should take us up to February at least. But as a way of safeproofing the show going forward, just before the 2nd lock down kicked in 3 days ago (Thursday the 5th of November) I managed to secure a 2nd hand laptop that with a bit of TLC and some part replacements is now running better than my own work laptop and Bens now hooked up and *Touch wood* should be able to record remotely MUCH MUCH more smoothly than before.

We’ll know the answer in a couple of days when we do a full audio test. but for now. thats the basket we’re putting all our eggs into as it’s looking unlikely we’re going to be able to meet up again until early next year at the soonest.

Anyway; I’ve gone a bit too much! here’s Hocus Pocus! we had a real blast doing this one, and we spend the majority of it talking about our old halloweens. which was really nice.

The Poster for this movies brilliant. but this promo shots most excellent too!

The “House” (Hausu) Comedy Dining Experience (1977)

A little bit late; but better late than never! here is the comedy dining expeirence commentary for House! the arty poppy horror movie that time forgot. Im extremely grateful that this movies picked up more of a cult following over the last few years because it deserves as many eyes on it as is physically possible!

Anyway; theres not much to say about this one! its me and my partner in crime and cohost Ben rambling while slightly tipsy over a trippy arty horror film. enjoy!

 

(LOVE THE POSTER!!!!)

Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers (Nightmare Vacation 2) (1988)

I enjoy Sleepaway Camp 2 for almost the exact polar opposite reasons I enjoyed the first Sleepaway camp movie. Where that film relied on subtlety masked by some bombastic performances and a BIG TWIST ENDING that has come to pretty much define the movie altogether. This films loud, stupid, garish, blatant and critically; NOT to be taken seriously by any stretch of the imagination. It feels like a film that would exist inside another film, Like; I could see this movie easily playing in the background of a scene in Robocop or “The Last Action Hero” or something of that ilk. it doesnt feel like a real movie…and yet here we are.

Because of it’s total outlandishness I really warmed to this movie. It was the first sleepaway camp film I saw via “The Horror Channel” in the UK around the turn of the millenium and I’d honestly put this one joint first with the original for my most loved sleepaway camp movie. in the context of the slasher genre this is awful! but for a macarbre horror comedy with gore and gallows humour. I totally dig it!

With 2 weeks left to go now until the season finishes, I hope you’ll join us next week as we take a deep dive into “Sleepaway Camp 3: Teenage Wasteland” and “Sleepaway Camp 4: The Survivor”!

 

(This poster always confused me. Why have all the slasher references?, why shoot some random actress just because Pamela Springstein was unavaialble on the shoot day?…why continue to call it nightmare vacation in the UK?…its a messy poster…iconic…but messy)

Vampire Hookers (Twice Bitten) (1978)

So; Vampire Hookers, the 2nd part of our “Drive in movie” specials which started with “Death Force” a couple of weeks previously. This to me; is the weaker of the two ventures. While it is better in some regards (The Cine is a definite bump up in quality and the soundtracks about even with Death Forces…) it’s just so poor in terms of scripting, acting (Not to mention all the Homophobia, mild racism and mysoginy peppered throughout) it’s just a not particularly nice film to sit through.

As I mention in the review; I first picked this movie up independently of this set on VHS when it was under it’s UK title of “Twice Bitten” and the UK release manages to be somehow even worse than the US version as what little horror and eroticism IS in this movie is missing from the UK version. Twice bitten has a hell of a VHS cover though (As seen in the introduction to this video) and that was what initially sold me…had I known it was “Vampire Hookers” in disguise I wouldnt have bought it…

This one was planned as part of last years themed month on Vampires. But when I found out how awful the quality was, and how little Vampires actually even factored into the plot I decided to hold off on reviewing it. My thinking was to maybe include it in a “Vampires 2” themed month if I ever got round to it…but then I found out it’s US title, I realised it was already part of this drive in set and I figured it was too shit to showcase as a prime Halloween watch. And well; Here we are!

(The posters not bad for this…but it could be so much better…I mean; the whole thing could be so much better…but still…)

Mad Cows (1999)

It’s been a very long time since I covered a british comedy….in fact if memory serves the last one I covered would have been waaaaay back in Season 4 When I took a look at “Whoops Apocalypse” Reviewing comedies isnt quite as rewarding as the other types of films I talk about on here…for one thing if they’re bad comedies they can be incredibly painful to sit through in a totally unenjoyable way and in another being a rather passionate comedy fan. if I want to invest some of my time into talking about comedy, I want to make sure im covering something I’ll want to remember.

Mad Cows is not one of those movies…its not even close to being one of those movies. As mentioned I first heard about this film via Cook’d and Bomb’d a message board that specialises in comedy. This was listed by one of there users as one of the worst british comedies ever made. I still dont think its THAT bad…but my god…give this one a swerve if you can.

It’s not fundamentally awful it’s just the fact its so border irritating. Anyway; I’ve said my piece. i’ll let the review do the death blow.

(This isnt an official poster…the official poster was too 90’s…it said nothing about the film and looked garish…I Mean; this poster doesnt really say anything about the film either…but it’s closer than the official one…)