Gatwick Gangsters (2017)

In many ways; I love films like this. Films that live beyond the screen. films that continue to organically grow like some kind of bizarre trash terrarium. Gatwick Gangsters has a life beyond it’s stream and I live for stuff like that. When I first started researching the movie I had NO idea that Shampagne was working to be an auter media personality. I just thought this was a goofy movie that I could take apart and explain what worked and what didnt and then mark it off my list.

And then the world opened up to me, Shampagnes colourful life and history, the Gatwick Gangsters website, the music videos, the social media presence, the fake IMDB trivia…The fact they’re ACTIVELY in development for a Gatwick Gangsters 2!? its “On Cinema” level artistry at its finest.

I feel it may be a touch overdramatic, but I consider this kind of melding of real living breathing personalities and social media/movie integration bordering on performance art. and while I wish absolutely no ill will to ANYONE involved in the production of these movies. I REALLY hope they dont become self aware. These are the film makers who are best left uncontacted like the tribes in the amazon. Let them exist in their bubble, thinking they’re making the greatest movies ever. and just. let them make the magic.

I feel im almost overstepping my boundaries just by simply talking about this movie here, I need to really push this I DONT want interaction with these people. I want them to keep as far away from me and people like me as possible. I want them to keep making these weird HYPER aggressive movies so that I can pay them £8 for and then just…enjoy the utter UTTER weirdness thats come out of 5-7 years of stop and start film making.

Pandering to people like me or aknowleging your film is being viewed by a VERY specific audience that it wasnt intended to be made for is whats RUINED film makers like Rick Sloan, Tommy Weisau and Barry J. Gillis in the past. If you want proof in motion of what happens when you shut that crowd (I.E Me) out of planning when making your movie look at Neil Breen. who has somehow through adversity managed to make half a dozen movies that are PERFECTLY weird and awful and wonderful in every way. he doesnt humour us. and im absolutely glad for that.

So yeh. Gatwick Gangsters. I had quite an emotional time with this movie, and I hope you go check it out, and; Shampagne. if you do ever see this, ignore it. I really dont know what im talking about.

The “Tommy” (1975) Comedy Dining Experience

This week! Dan and Ben take a look at *arguably* one of the better known Ken Russell movies and one of Ben’s all time favourites as we discuss “Tommy” an absolute blast of a movie that gets surprisingly dark for a movie that quite frankly is so high energy and colourful.

Im not joking. recording this with Ben reignighted my passion for Ken Russell movies, By sheer chance a week after we recorded this I managed to talk to a bootlegger who was able to provide me with HD copies of “The Devils” and “Lizstomania” and I also managed to grab “Altered States” and “Lair of the White Worm” frankly, im in on Russell in a bad way at the minute. But im LOVING it.

I was a fan years ago, but i’d forgotten just how wild and fun his movies could be. and I HIGHLY recommend checking his stuff out whenever you get the chance.

Serpents Lair (1995)

Its amazing really how the memory can cheat when it comes to things from your childhood, I mention in this review that this was one of my first exposures to pornographic material and honestly; when I think back to my memory of seeing this movie nearly 25 years ago now, I remember it being almost as strong as most of the hardcore flicks that now plague the net.

despite not really knowing/understanding what was going on at the time, the tameness of this film 25 years on actually transformed what I remembered as a pretty gritty and erotically charged picture into something laughable. I go into more detail in my actual review. But while I cant really “technically” fault the film. the fact that it sets up SO much promise and delivers on literally almost non of it is frankly insane.

I mean…with the best will in the world, most erotic softcore films at LEAST have the decency to show a little T&A. this film (if memory serves) has one or two blink and you’ll miss it shots of ass, and an sound barrier smashingly brief glimpse of some boobs. Its at this point I feel the need to remind you dear reader. that this is a film about a demon who shags people to death…

As a closing note, I recently managed to uncover the title of another softcore flick I saw a clip from back when I was younger. my entire memory of the film was a scene of a woman being screwed through a partition in a wall with the intent on getting pregnant by the mysterious sperm doner. after that image sat in my head for decades AND with a variety of film buffs being asked about the scene (which I described in vivid detail, to which they had no clue), last year I finally put it to rest. I had in fact seen a clip from the 1999 art house porn film “Romance” which…is probably not a film that a small child should have been watching. but; these are life lessons I guess…

The poster for this movie is in no way reflective of the movie itself.

The “Things” (1989) Comedy Dining Experience

Basically; I subjected Ben and Laura Blind to “Things” because im a sadist who enjoys dumping people into ice baths and watching them wail (in a filmic sense)

After the screening Laura vowed to never do a blind commentary again and Ben wouldnt make eye contact with me. Im not allowed to blind screen again for a while and collabs with Laura have to be to a certain standard going forth.

Personally; I think they should both thank me, given that they’ll now almost certainly never see a film worse than this…unless I find it.

Silent Night Bloody Night (1972)

Well, another year is winding up and once again we’ll be ending things on the channel with a good old fashioned spooky Christmas horror movie. Silent Night Bloody Night surprised me as being, not just a pretty decent christmas horror film, but a border proto slasher that full on predates “Black Christmas” by nearly 2 whole years!

Weirder still it was an early entry in the career of Troma founder Lloyd Kaufman who helped to co-produce the feature. and WEIRDER STILL! given the slice of fried gold that this film is. the fact someone let it slip into the public domain is frankly INSANE to me. this film should be held in WAY higher regard in my opinion…it may be far from perfect. but if it hadnt been for the fact that basically NOONE saw this film when it first came out. it could have easily kickstarted the slasher genre a full 10 years earlier than it did take off.

A great, solid little horror flick. definitely one to watch this festive season, I say go and check out Silent Night Bloody Night. a hidden gem and one of the true hidden slices of horror history!

And…with that we’ve reached the end of the 10th season. it’s been a hell of a ride (there’ll be a “Complete Season” post incoming imminently!) and i’ve loved every minute of it. thank you to everyone who’s helped make this year extra special! the 5th anniversairy celebrations continue on next year with season 11 (currently in production!) and it’s gonna be a big one!

So thank you for dropping by, have the very merriest of christmasses, the very happiest of holidays and the very brightest of new years! and we’ll see you all! in the future! which is where you and I are destined to be!

Stay safe x

This poster says nothing. Im so confused. I love the colour palette though…

Annabelles Wish (1997)

Annabelles Wish was one of those movies that I saw a TON for a brief period in the late 90’s the marketing campaign for this movie in the UK was quite frankly insane. I remember WH Smiths, Woolworths and most places that sold tapes being absolutely rammed with it. I remember the channel 3 childrens block “CITV” having CHRONIC amounts of adverts running for this (probably because CITV was being run by “Carlton” at the time, which was also the company who distributed this film in the UK) for a good year or two it was nothing but wall to wall Annabelle. and honestly; at the time I thought it sounded like a load of old rubbish.

So to sit here nearly 25 years to the day of its release and finally watch this thing to see what all the hubub was about…well…as you can expect the sour laughs of a special that not only missed the mark but full on faceplaneted the concrete could be heard for miles around. This was amazing. a film that really truely tried to be sincere and heartwarming/Bittersweet. Inadvertently becoming DEEPLY troubling and quite confusing to boot! I had NO idea what to expect when I hit play. but I certainly wasnt expecting THAT!

it surprised, shocked and genuinely made me laugh at just how corny and awful it was…and for the last TYTD Reviews episode of 2021…well I couldnt have asked for a more perfect example of what this series is all about.

bloody hell…

This poster is a LIE and will be ceased by the workers as an act of defiance. WE ARE STRONGER TOGETHER COMRADES!

The Driller Killer (1979)

Of all the film I covered this season, probably the film that surprised me the most was “Driller Killer”. Generally when I go into a film with established expectations I usually come away either dissapointed or bitterly angry that a films been missold to me. But “Driller Killer” actually had the opposite effect on me.

After being told by at LEAST half a dozen people that this film was a “Slog”, was “Unremarkable”, was “A one watch film” my expectations were VERY low for this thing. I was expecting 80-90 minutes of unrelenting gore, little to no plot, sub part direction. just a gory trash film designed to shock for the sake of shock.

But what I actually found was quite a nuanced film that, while not shying away from gore, manages it in a very effective way. Using it sparingly and instead preferring to focus on psychodrama and the relationship structure between our core characters. this was actually a pretty decent little drama/thriller and had it had literally ANYTHING ELSE as a VHS cover in 1984, it’d probably have flown completely under the radar and gone unnoticed.

A raw and quite powerful watch. while I think the theatrical cut is about as much of this film as I can stomach. having an extrended cut on the Arrow Bluray is a very nice touch. If your coming to this film for horror, you’ll probably be dissapointed. but if your looking for a drama with bloodier elements I’d say this is actually a pretty solid watch.

I had to use Arrows newly commissioned artwork for the thumbnail on this review. Personally I vastly prefer the original artwork. But youtube frown on thumbnails that feature a guy literally getting drilled through the head.

Best of the Best 2 (1993)

Oh how the mighty have fallen. I wanted to like this one, I really did. but honestly it’s a total nothing of a film. a totally wasted opportunity thats so forgettable, that apart from the colosseum sections and being angry that Eric Roberts got top billing despite barely doing ANYTHING for the vast majority of the runtime. I can bearly remember anything about this film.

The original film was quite a decent effort, and set the bar very high on a sequel. I didnt expect the sequel to do better than the original. but I didnt expect the quality to drop quite so quickly. This is a series where my excitement to see part 3 went from “Oh man I cant wait!” to “If I can be bothered… in less than 80 minutes.

To add insult to injury, I cant even really show you exactly whats wrong with this film as due to a spurious copyright claim by returning absolute bastard company “Lasso Entertainment” who blocked the video worldwide and abused the appeals process to make sure my review never saw the light of day. Fortunately I uploaded an audio only version, so while its not what I envisioned. at least you can kind of see where I was going (a fully uncensored version with video will be making its way up to breach.tv in the new year.)

The posters literally the best part of this movie, and is 10 times cooler than the film ever will be.

Swamp Women (Swamp Diamonds) (1956)

This was the 2nd to last review I wrote for this season and the last proper review I wrote before heading into our seasonal christmas specials for one last hurrah. And it was quite literally a review that materialised out of thin air. with us now well into the 2nd year of the pandemic, I’ve not been able to go out rooting through the various flea markets, charity shops and other various places where cheap VHS/DVDs and Blurays could be found. and after working with my backlog for about 2 year with not much new coming in I was beginning to have a bit of difficulty around variety.

Dont get me wrong, Im not short of films to review you understand, I have PLENTY of those to be getting on with. rather, I have too many of certain specific genres. I cant move for Horror, Sci fi and martial arts movies. But im seriously low on decent avante garde, experiemental and art house films. I have a MORE than decent stock of action titles, but very little in the way of strange drama or thrillers.

When it came to scheduling this season I began to notice I was a bit horror heavy and I wanted to try and break things up a bit. so I hit the public domain film collections I have from mill creek looking for something that’d hopefully help keep a nice digest of content. and when nothing jumped out to me, I let my partner choose. the only rule I gave her was to try and avoid a film with a title that sounded like it was just going to be a straight horror. I said depending on the synopsis I was open to doing a creature feature and thats when she hit me with “Swamp Women” in our heads we envisioned a kind of murkey “Creature from the black lagoon” type affair with mutated swamp women wandering around the back waters picking off their victims!

In reality, we got a super early Roger Corman film thats basically just a super slow travel log with fast talking chasimatic ladies at the healm. and while I appreciate that this is most definitely NOT going to be to everyones taste, I cant help but acknowledge that as a trash fiend. I kind of enjoyed this one. even now, some 3 months after watching it. I still think about it every now and then just for HOW slow, but entertaining it really was.

The poster is WAY more interesting than the film itself.

White Glove Massive (2018)

These are the kind of movies that makes what I do worthwhile. White Glove Massive is a near perfect example of the kind of hidden gem find that I tend to stumble on once or twice a season that makes up for the many MANY hours I waste watching utter dross.

Obviously I explain why this film is so entertainingly awful in the review itself, and genuinely if it wasnt for the price point i’d probably be sending as many people as I could to amazon to grab this movie. I genuinely think it needs to be seen by more people. but at £20 (currently) just for a bog standard DVD copy with no extra features. thats insultingly high and WILL stop people from picking it up ultimately.

Couple of things I missed in my review that I’d just like to mention here:

*The film has deleted scenes that arnt included on the finished product in any way shape or form. there are at least 2 scenes that are shown in the films online trailer that ARNT featured in the final movie the one that jumped out to me unsurprisingly (being a sexist man bloke) is the shot of a woman taking her coat off outside in front of smiley and flinty to reveal shes wearing nothing underneith. theres also some shots from around the “Garages scene” with Smiley and flinty where Smiley puts a coat on his head that isnt in the final version either. I dont know about you lot. but I for one want to see the FULL uncut version of this movie now. #ReleasetheMASSIVEcut.

*Why did I choose to cover this movie? well. I choose to cover films generally at my own discretion. and my rule of thumb thats guided me so far is that, if the film charges for people to see it. I’ll review it, This is on the understanding that, if the film maker is expecting me to pay to view their product, I should be allowed to review and critique their product to see if it’s worth the price of admission. Because of this, I generally avoid talking about “Free” films, no matter how bad or entertaining they may be. the main reason being because i’d feel like I was punching down, they havent sought my opinion, they’ve just put something out there into the world for free. and because of that I dont feel comfortable taking a film that doesnt owe me anything apart. The ONLY exception I make to this rule is if a film maker contacts me specifically asking if i’ll review their film. At which point I warn them that im not going to give them an easy time, I will be critically honest, and I then ask them to check my content and if they’re happy for me to still talk about their film then I’ll check it out and see if its a good fit.

you’d be amazed how many get less keen on the idea once they know it isnt just going to be a free publicity trip.

Anyway! White glove massive! a film that if it was £10 cheaper I’d be sending you to their amazon page righty now! as it stands. it’s really not worth it! but hay! check out my review to find out why!

The poster…oh my god…wheres the Tylonol?