Category: Drama Movies

Swamp Women (Swamp Diamonds) (1956)

This was the 2nd to last review I wrote for this season and the last proper review I wrote before heading into our seasonal christmas specials for one last hurrah. And it was quite literally a review that materialised out of thin air. with us now well into the 2nd year of the pandemic, I’ve not been able to go out rooting through the various flea markets, charity shops and other various places where cheap VHS/DVDs and Blurays could be found. and after working with my backlog for about 2 year with not much new coming in I was beginning to have a bit of difficulty around variety.

Dont get me wrong, Im not short of films to review you understand, I have PLENTY of those to be getting on with. rather, I have too many of certain specific genres. I cant move for Horror, Sci fi and martial arts movies. But im seriously low on decent avante garde, experiemental and art house films. I have a MORE than decent stock of action titles, but very little in the way of strange drama or thrillers.

When it came to scheduling this season I began to notice I was a bit horror heavy and I wanted to try and break things up a bit. so I hit the public domain film collections I have from mill creek looking for something that’d hopefully help keep a nice digest of content. and when nothing jumped out to me, I let my partner choose. the only rule I gave her was to try and avoid a film with a title that sounded like it was just going to be a straight horror. I said depending on the synopsis I was open to doing a creature feature and thats when she hit me with “Swamp Women” in our heads we envisioned a kind of murkey “Creature from the black lagoon” type affair with mutated swamp women wandering around the back waters picking off their victims!

In reality, we got a super early Roger Corman film thats basically just a super slow travel log with fast talking chasimatic ladies at the healm. and while I appreciate that this is most definitely NOT going to be to everyones taste, I cant help but acknowledge that as a trash fiend. I kind of enjoyed this one. even now, some 3 months after watching it. I still think about it every now and then just for HOW slow, but entertaining it really was.

The poster is WAY more interesting than the film itself.
by tytdreviews

White Glove Massive (2018)

These are the kind of movies that makes what I do worthwhile. White Glove Massive is a near perfect example of the kind of hidden gem find that I tend to stumble on once or twice a season that makes up for the many MANY hours I waste watching utter dross.

Obviously I explain why this film is so entertainingly awful in the review itself, and genuinely if it wasnt for the price point i’d probably be sending as many people as I could to amazon to grab this movie. I genuinely think it needs to be seen by more people. but at £20 (currently) just for a bog standard DVD copy with no extra features. thats insultingly high and WILL stop people from picking it up ultimately.

Couple of things I missed in my review that I’d just like to mention here:

*The film has deleted scenes that arnt included on the finished product in any way shape or form. there are at least 2 scenes that are shown in the films online trailer that ARNT featured in the final movie the one that jumped out to me unsurprisingly (being a sexist man bloke) is the shot of a woman taking her coat off outside in front of smiley and flinty to reveal shes wearing nothing underneith. theres also some shots from around the “Garages scene” with Smiley and flinty where Smiley puts a coat on his head that isnt in the final version either. I dont know about you lot. but I for one want to see the FULL uncut version of this movie now. #ReleasetheMASSIVEcut.

*Why did I choose to cover this movie? well. I choose to cover films generally at my own discretion. and my rule of thumb thats guided me so far is that, if the film charges for people to see it. I’ll review it, This is on the understanding that, if the film maker is expecting me to pay to view their product, I should be allowed to review and critique their product to see if it’s worth the price of admission. Because of this, I generally avoid talking about “Free” films, no matter how bad or entertaining they may be. the main reason being because i’d feel like I was punching down, they havent sought my opinion, they’ve just put something out there into the world for free. and because of that I dont feel comfortable taking a film that doesnt owe me anything apart. The ONLY exception I make to this rule is if a film maker contacts me specifically asking if i’ll review their film. At which point I warn them that im not going to give them an easy time, I will be critically honest, and I then ask them to check my content and if they’re happy for me to still talk about their film then I’ll check it out and see if its a good fit.

you’d be amazed how many get less keen on the idea once they know it isnt just going to be a free publicity trip.

Anyway! White glove massive! a film that if it was £10 cheaper I’d be sending you to their amazon page righty now! as it stands. it’s really not worth it! but hay! check out my review to find out why!

The poster…oh my god…wheres the Tylonol?
by tytdreviews

The “Chick Boxer” (1992) Comedy Dining Experience

Well! as part of my exploration into the life and career of J.R Bookwalter I sat down with some VERY pleasent people and we took a look at “Chick Boxer” one of the most notorious films in the “SOV Six Pack” collection. it was a real blast hanging with these guys and I really hope we get to do it again soon!

If you enjoy hearing my friends screams of pain you can find much more of their work at the below links:

George – Here
Chris – Here
G.G – Here

by tytdreviews

Theatre of Blood (1973)

Perfection. thats all there is to it, I consider this to be one of my (if not my) favourite horror film ever made. I have nothing more to add to that other than. this halloween, go and watch “Theatre of Blood” total. underrated. CLASSIC.

The original 2 posters for this film I dont really feel are all that representative of the films contents, that and they just, wern’t that visually appealing. in fact the original Landscape poster for “Theatre of Blood” is downright ugly in my opinion. But the version seen above was made up by Arrow Video for their Bluray release and not only do I love the minimalist take, I feel it much MUCH better represents the film. Its still not quite as good as it should be for a movie of this quality. but it’s easily the best so far.
by tytdreviews

The Pit and the Pendulum (1961)

I’ve gotta be honest, I dont gel with the Corman/Price films as much as i’d like to. In principle, their collaborative works should have everything i’d want in a movie. Campy Macarbre, stunning direction and visuals, interesting and engaging scripts that quite often use the original source material as a launching pad rather than a dogmatically rigid “Sacred text” that must be abided to. and Vincent Price AND! for even more bang for your buck, Peter Lorre. Whats not to like!?

Well; this is the question I ask myself. I just…dunno. I kind of feel like the end result of mixing such amazing ingrediants together should be something quite mindblowing. but I just end up feeling a bit underwhelmed. Now I cant say that for EVERY Price/Corman film. I really enjoyed “The Pit and the Pendulum” and I also like “The Fall of the House of Usher” and “The Masque of the Red Death”. But I havent seen ALL of their works together and most of the ones I have seen (The Raven, Tales of Terror, The Haunted Palace) just…dont do much if anything for me.

Thats not to say they dont have decent moments, or even just scenes that are entertaining. and thats DEFINITELY not to say the quality isnt there, because it very much is. I just find myself kind of sighing and clock watching with some of these films when I should be on the edge of my seat praying the films nowhere near over. I think, to me at least, I just feel like the films dont deliver on their pitch. Which made choosing which film of the Corman/Price/Poe series quite difficult. it was a literal coin toss that decided whether to talk about this movie or “Fall of the House of Usher” and on reflection. I think I chose the right movie. I prefer “Fall” of these two. but this film I think has infinitely more to talk about and is a MUCH more visually interesting treat.

This poster answers the problems I had with “House of Wax’s” poster. but now the problem is the focal point of the poster isnt clear and the name of the film obscures way too much. it’s an acceptable poster, I just dont much care for it.
by tytdreviews

Humanoids From Atlantis (1992)

Well! It’s the end of the line! and we crash out in a ball of flames so spectacular that it damn near made J.R quit the industry all together and led to several actors never working again. HUZZAH!

Seriously; this films an absolute train wreck, no ifs or buts about it. it’s a FUN movie. dont get me wrong I enjoyed the absolute crap out of the sheer BALLS of this production. But i’d be lying if I said that it was a desperatly flawed production that literally could have been so much more. Having watched the table read for the script that ultimately got thrown out for this film. I’d be lying if I said I didnt want to see that version moreso than this one. But…im glad we at least got the opportunity to see what might have been via the wonderful work that J.R and Makeflix have done to bring this set to life.

It’s miraculous that that this film exists quite honestly given EVERYTHING that went on behind the scenes and given the amount of stress that was ultimately put on J.R I totally understand why he stepped back from directing for a time after this. but being able to see it years later. while it IS bad, no doubt about it. I can at least appreciate it for what it stands for. this was a film that was made from nothing. it’s goofy, cheesy and those title cards and credits will be the death of me. but it got MADE. J.R got it over the line and it got into Video stores. thats amazing. so I hope despite my negative criticism of the film in the review below. that you still at least keep that in mind.

Since these reviews went live Makeflix have also announced that all of these movies in the SOV six pack will be recieving solo releases in the near future. while I dont have an exact ETA, my advice has always and will continue to always be. Keep an eye on Makeflix. they’ve got some great stuff in the pipeline.

This cover is TERRIBLY misleading. I love it.
by tytdreviews

Galaxy of the Dinosaurs (1992)

Now this. This charts the point where I feel that J.R and what was left of the cast and crew realised the SOV six pack project was well and truely on a hiding to nothing. Not only did the budget get DRASTICALLY cut to a little under $1250 PER PROJECT. but it was still the middle of a freezing Ohio winter and deadlines for these projects were rolling closer and closer.

Its understandable after the work on Chick Boxer and Maximum Impact pretty much lost J.R most of his crew, a chunk of his cast and at least a writer or two that the cart was now pulling the horse and not the other way around. I dont doubt J.R’s proficiency as a director one bit. These films would have never seen the light of day if he wasnt short of legendary in the directors seat. But it’s clear to see at this point that the project was running away with itself and things were starting to reach a head.

I mention in my review that I had a similar experience to J.R when it comes to this movie as I to made the stupid STUPID mistake to go and make a movie outdoors with a skeleton crew in the middle of a freezing winter for about a week with minimal to no supplies, and honestly the stress and the weather damn near drove us all away from ever doing anything film releated ever again. So I can only IMAGINE what J.R was dealing with when not only was he dealing with that level of craptitude but that he also had Home Cinema Video breathing down his neck to deliver a finished product. I mean, I can only compare his experience to mine, and I at least had the relief of not having to work to deadlines.

Anyway; Galaxy of the Dinosaurs is a cheap but cheerful affair. it really did give me “Red Dwarf” vibes based on the script, and I think this movie may actually be my favourite script purely from a tone and dialogue standpoint out of any of the movies featured in the six pack.

Also; this poster art is terrifically misleading.
by tytdreviews

Maximum Impact (1992)

Given that Maximum impact was recorded in the same block as Chick Boxer its not surprising to hear that the film suffered similar issues to Chick Boxer. now it’s not a technical disaster like Chick Boxer is, but it DOES suffer from the issue of it being recorded around christmas time. So even though the “Professional” film makers had all piled into this project to get the job done. they were still having to deal with the uphill battle of having to contend attention wise with chirstmas and everything that came with it.

That not only mean dealing with actors who were too busy shopping to remember their lines, but they also had to deal with crew who had the same issue and plummeting tempratures across the board. it really was a terrible time to decide to make 2 movies back to back. But…these guys did it. It means that, no matter how bland or just…not quite there this film is. they still managed to power through and deliver an end product thats actually not that bad. looking back on the set i’d say that Chick Boxer was the definite low point of the set in terms of production quality. but if we plotted a graph it would show a “V” shape almost. and Maximum impact would be on the other side of that sharp dip. the films that came after this. in their own way are entertaining (if not technically lacking) but this movie? I can at least applaud it that its TRYING to be good. J.R and crew hadnt thrown in the towel, they wanted to make this work and despite its GLARING flaws. I think I have to applaud a film that tries over one that doesnt every time.

This one also has the honour of having the modern artwork look the closest to it’s original artwork. I think it looks good…even if it doesnt really tell you anything about the film itself.
by tytdreviews

Chick Boxer

I had a rather pleasent surprise while these reviews were going live. JR Bookwalter the man himself was doing a live stream Q&A for a new release for makeflix and I dropped in to ask a question about whether he’d ever consider getting back into directing (his answer was “never say never!” so here’s hoping for the SOV 12 pack in 2024!) but while watching he mentioned in passing that he’d actually been checking out a couple of these reviews as they dropped! which…well I was honestly quite beside myself as, while I have had the odd director, DOP, Cam Op or in one specific case producer drop by to tell me about how their movie sucked, or that they were grateful for my honesty. i’ve never had someone say that live, on video. TO ME.

Anyway; I mention that because this was the review he referenced specifically when he said he’d seen a couple of the reviews I’d done. and…if you’ve seen my review of this in advance of reading this post. you’ll know that I was not a fan of this movie…didnt care for it at all…hates a strong word but I do believe I said this movie was “The kind of film you take to a bad movie night when you dont like anyone in attendence.” which was then quoted in a tweet by J.R Bookwalter himself. POSITIVELY I might add!…but still. he hates this movie. I…didnt care for this movie. most people i’ve shown this film to (Because im an evil fuck) hated this movie. this is not a good movie. the poster and title is about as good as it gets.

In my minds eye I imagined Chick boxer to be a kind of gritty “Rocky” type flick. y’know, a young girl is bullied or harrassed or…I dunno SOMETHING happens. and she decides to “Get tough” cue several training montages and eventually said weedy girl is now a martial artist taking on the scum of the streets vigilante style, with the papers and police not really knowing what to make of her. almost like what was done in “Robot Ninja” but without the super hero costume and the scene where a guy removes and inserts weird tubes into his arm.

Instead we got…well I’ll let the review do the rest of the work.

This cover is the best thing about the movie. and it took nearly 30 years for it to happen.
by tytdreviews

Who Killed Captain Alex (2010)

And so we’ve arrived at the end of another season of TYTD Reviews. and ironically one of the first scripts I planned for the series WAAAAAY back in October 2020 ended up being the closer on this season nearly 9 months later.

I was first put on the case of the Wakaliwood scene during the summer of 2020 when a discord I frequent mentioned it as being something that’d really be my kind of happening. So; when the black friday sales came up for Vinegar Syndrome and AGFA I picked up their frankly next level package of “Who Killed Captain Alex” and “Bad Black” and it proceeded to totally blow me away.

I knew then and there that I wanted to cover one (or both) of these movies in the next season of reviews. The original plan was to review “Who Killed Captain Alex?” and then follow it up with a “Comedy Dining Experience” commentary for “Bad Black” but due to scheduling, planning issues and other boring things that always get in the way of a good time, we couldnt make it align up. which is a shame. I still plan to do SOMETHING with “Bad Black” I just dont really know exactly what just yet.

But yeh; Here’s the last review before our summer break. we’ll be dropping comedy dining experiences throughout July and August and there may still be one more surprise in store before we start on Season 10. all I’ll say for now is I hope you all have a happy and safe summer. and we’ll see you back for the next full season in August.

This is one of the few instances where the poster LITERALLY tells you everything you need to know about the film perfectly.
by tytdreviews