Dirty Movie, 1984 – ★★★

An offering from Rik Mayall and Adr Edmondson. Involving a Pervy cinema owner trying to screen a movie at the ONE time of day when he knows noone will turn up…only someone turns up.

Surreally funny in a ‘Vic and Bobs: The Weekenders’ kind of way. It’s one you really have to be in the right mindset to enjoy and today I just wasn’t really fully feeling it.

There were a few good laughs in this one, it’s very silly and overly simplistic. But the downtrodden ‘June’ as played by Jennifer Saunders just ends up coming across as a bit TOO cruel for a zippy goofy comedy.

This was fine…but it wasn’t one of the Best.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/dirty-movie-1984/

Sex in the Comics, 1972 – ★★★

Another film im picking up as part of a larger project, so for now I’ll keep it simple.

This films insane. like, actually properly insane. Even in my wildest cough syrup driven fever dreams, i’ve NEVER seen something so vividly terrifying, demented, unhinged and garish in all my years.

Imagine if Tom Rubnitz huffed lead paint, got horny and had an adult film cast waiting in the wings to realise whatever the hell he put to paper. Thats about 60% of the way there to describing what this thing feels like to watch.

I’ve used the term ‘Concussion cinema’ before to describe a film that feels like its events are playing out while you watch with a severe concussion. This is absolutely one of those movies.

It overstays its welcome by about an hour of its hour and 20 runtime, its repetative, manic, irritating and in places honestly scarier than ANYTHING to come out of the following 50 years of horror. And yet, at the same time, its unique loudness and colourful, creative subject making, I found strangely compelling.

Would pair well with ‘Batpussy’, this films on a whole other plain of reality and while I absolutely WONT endorse it, I think its something everyone should at least try to see once in their lives…just for the utter mind melt it induces.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/sex-in-the-comics/

Five Go Mad on Mescalin, 1983 – ★★★★½

The second outing for ‘The Famous Five’ and for my money it’s less iconic, almost certainly better. The budgets slightly higher and they seem to have seen what went well in the first one and streamlined it.

I liked the fact that it IS treated as a direct sequel to the first one, though it is a bit of a shame that the ‘bite’ that the first one had seems to have been toned down a bit here…no beastiality references, killing dogs or calling out how racist the original books were here…

STILL! It’s jolly good fun, like I say, I enjoyed it arguably moreso than the original. And it’s definitely one of the classics.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/five-go-mad-on-mescalin/

Extraterrestrial Visitors, 1983 – ★★★½

Having seen this film as ‘Pod People’ multiple times throughout my life (and the MST3K Riffed version almost as much) I pretty much HAD to pick up Severin films lovely HD restoration of this film…mainly because, I hadnt seen the uncut version before, and I was quite curious about the differences and how they affect the pacing of the movie. The answe was quite a bit!

So this, from what I can gather is a US/Mexican co-production, and essentially an ET knockoff, Aliens crash land in the woods, hunters find a clutch of eggs and destroy most of them, but get attacked by a *bad* alien (not REALLY a bad alien…just one who’s scared and overly defensive) while the only surviving egg winds up in a young boys house and eventually hatches into an alien that the boy christens ‘Trumpy’…

Also a rock band end up out in the woods while travelling in a camper van, but when one of there groupies (basically the daughter of the boss of the record company) ends up getting injured by the ‘bad’ alien, they head over to the young boys house and all try to recover and make plans to head home, while the boy tries to hide Trumpy from everyone…hilarity ensues…

The ‘Pod People’ cut of this film removes most of the opening sequence of the hunters chilling in the woods, removes the strongest aspects of the cursing, some nudity, tones back the violence…it basically retunes this into being an out and out kids movie. But in this *uncut* version of the film, all of thats restored…and im not entirely sure if its for the better.

For a starters the opening act of the hunters in the woods is now much MUCH longer…and it dragged in the ‘Pod People’ cut so here its basically insufferable. with the violence and a couple additional scenes put back in it basically means we dont really get to see ‘Trumpy’ in action till around the 40 minute mark of this 84 minute long film. And when he does turn up, its only for very narrow windows of time, with the rest of the time either being the rock group floudering around in the woods of the cabin, or the kid having arguements with his mum, OR the evil alien picking off memebers of the band.

The script itself is frankly bizarre no matter which cut you check, but for my money, I feel the ‘Pod People’ cut just manages to trim enough out to keep it lean, while also still maintaining that disorienting vibe that really kept me hanging on throughout. Because this films frankly ludicrous in places and trumpy looks like a shrivelled winky.

Tonally; I dont know who this movie is for, bearing in mind the cut version of this film that WAS child friendly came out between 1987 and 1990 and this uncut version had existed since 1983. I really cant think who (other than me and folk like me) would be willingly sitting down to this. The conventional audience of young children are ruled out because of the violence, shots of boobs and hard swearing (F-bombs get dropped in this cut) Teens wont watch it because OUTSIDE of the above, this IS essentially a kids film, adults wont watch it unless they’re under the influence of something and if its a family movie, it’ll be the last family movie night you hold quite honestly.

While it is a bit of a drag in the first act, and its dissapointing that Trumpy doesnt actually show till almost halfway through the movie (and doesnt even really do anything until the final act) the film is still deleriously entertaining in places, with frankly bizarre scenes that are only enhanced by the English voiceover dub for the film thats badly timed, weirdly worded and feels like a literal translation of the spanish spoken originally, rather than the a more naturalistic translation that would have maybe made the film feel less demented.

The characters are all either pretty unlikeable, strange or strange and unlikeable, non of them have any real complexities beyond what you’re seeing on screen…Honestly, this thing wouldnt no subtle if it came tap dancing in wearing neon.

The direction and cine, given the budget are actually kind of impressive, and the HD transfer has scraped years of mould and VHS fuzz off the 4:3 cropped image to present a film thats absolutely creaky as of 2024, but absolutely looks better than expected given the nature of how this film was made.

In particular, I found the chronic use of fog machines to be endearingly strange as a creative choice and really helps give the feeling of isolation, the stop motion ‘Trumpy’ magic sequences are honestly some of the strangest creative decision making pieces that i’ve seen in a good while and I actually really kind of liked the colour usage here..in the beige and brown world that was 1977-1985, mixing in reds,blues,greens and yellows really helps bring this thing to life and gives it a HELL of a boost over other ET knock offs such as ‘Nukie’ or ‘Badi’.

Sequences are fairly robust, theres good use of B-roll, the editing is a little jerky and doesnt so much invite the audience in…more slap the finished film in front of them for better or worse. composition is certainly memorable and for better or worse, it at least had the budget to make an ET knock off that felt like some money had gone into it…

The performances are all eccentric, over the top and manic, very animated and when combined with the lithium inspired Voice over work on the english dub, the result is easily the best thing about this film and EASILY the biggest reason to check it out.

And the soundtrack? so eccentric and interesting that Severin included a CD copy with the bluray release. I will ALWAYS hear ‘Idiot control now’…

I have a real soft spot for ‘Pod people’ and between this and that cut? I’d choose the kid friendly ‘Pod People’ version anyday. This however is still a really fun little movie, imperfect. but delightfully bizarre and plain weird in places. If you havent seen ANY of the cuts of this movie…I’d check out the MST riffed version in the first instance, if you like that, THEN go and check out this cut. Otherwise; this cuts fine enough…but its not my personal favourite.

‘Trumpy! YOU CAN DO STUPID THINGS!’

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/extraterrestrial-visitors/

Fantasm, 1976 – ★★★★

Another one im using for a larger project.

But in short; I quite liked this one, its played as a pseudo psychiatric examination of womens fantasies, and I like its tone, its playful and creative both in its direction and set pieces.

The australian censor board though around this time was SO weird…like…its got *some* hardcore…but then, 80% of it is softcore and sometimes they’ll do full frontal, but other times, they wont…weird…Im gonna have to look into that a bit more…still! fun enough film, not essential, but an interesting entry in the Ozsploitation genre.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/fantasm/

Battle Royale, 2000 – ★★★★½

One i’ve been meaning to revisit for a while, there isnt a whole lot that I can really add to the masses who really truely love ‘Battle Royale’.

Honestly, theres very little I disliked about it, the scripts razor, with a VERY bleak and dystopic tone being offset by wonderfully bleak humour, the pacings pretty solid, though the 2nd act *does* sag a little bit for me personally, It ends about as well as it can do and the characters, all 45+ of them are complex, interweaving and nuanced.

I really dont have much more to say other than I love its complexity and how naturalistic it feels in places. its rock solid.

As is the direction, as is the cine, as are the performances…In fact…if im being brutally honest; the only two things I really disliked were:

*The runtime – It is a film I feel could have been 10 minutes shorter and 10 times better for it

and

*The end credits music – Which I feel is one of the only things that dates it, after a near solid 2 hours of classical and orchestral moodiness, the end credits are a 90s R&B-ish pop track that kind of jerked me out of the vibe of the film…

Otherwise, its honestly fantastic. Other people here could put it better than I ever really could. and I’ll absolutely try not to leave it 10-15 years before watching it again…

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/battle-royale/

Pretty Peaches 3: The Quest, 1989 – ★★★

Another one im watching for work on a bigger project, so i’ll keep it brief:

The final part of Alex De Renzys trilogy is basically almost unrecognisable from the first film. almost a remake of the 2nd film, but softened even further. Peaches 3 has a new Peaches leaving home to find ‘enlightenment’ that coincidentally can only be found through sex.

All the ‘edge’ of the first 2 films (incest, enemas, performance art lesbian gang bang rape) is nowhere to be found. This is just straight porn. VERY low budget straight porn at that, I reckon more money went on the film stock than the casts wages and sets combined.

It starts off poor, but does pick up pace around the mid point and ends in an okay enough place. But its beige. SO beige. the safest and most stable entry in the whole franchise. Its inoffensive to the point that I think i’ll probably start to forget exactly what happend before I even start a write up, less than 12 hours from now.

The subplot involving Peaches Mum and Bobby however is probably the steamiest and most erotically charged moment in the whole series. and was about as enjoyable as this thing got.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/pretty-peaches-3-the-quest/