The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak (1984)

This (So Far) has been the most stressfull episode I’ve released of this season. The reason being that a company called “Europacorp” have a master copy of this movie logged with youtube on a “Block worldwide” copyright notice. As such. the moment I uploaded this episode, it blocked worldwide. I disputed it; and they forgot to respond to the dispute…that’s literally the only reason you’re able to watch this “Uncut” on youtube. Seriously; up until Tuesday of this week (the 24th of March 2020) I was so certain this episode was going to be shot down that I re-edited it in the same way that I did with my review of “Emmanuelle“.

Another reason I was so on edge about this review being blocked is that personally; and not to blow my own horn here too much…Im really proud with how the edit turned out for this one. sometimes I dont quite manage to put across the exact way I feel about a film through the editing…but with this one. I personally think I nailed it. so I really hope you enjoy this weeks review. it’s a weird one!

(All the posters for this movie kind of suck a bit (They’re not awful…they’re just not great)…but the Severin films slip art for this movie is absolutely gorgeous!)

The “Pink Flamingos” Comedy Dining Experience (1972)

So in a bit of a first (And what with it being Valentines day) me and the missus decided to sit down and watch the first movie we ever went on a date together to see (She had never seen it before…and yes 8 and half years later she’s still with me!)

We had a great time and hopefully she’llĀ  be joining us in a few more commentaries in future! So sit down on the couch (Unless it rejects you), Shit in a box and prepare to “Pa-pa OOH mow mow!” yourself into a coma as we work our way through a film on the filthiest people alive!

 

(Finding a Hi-res image of “Pink Flamingos” era devine is bloody hard man!)

Finishing the Complete Sixth Series (2019)

To say that it’s a miracle that this season even got made is an understatement in and of itself. When I first set out to make this I had no idea of the trials and tribulations that would unfold during this seasons run. It’s well documented at this point on this site but Season 6 was predominantly marred by the fact that my partner was taken seriously ill after literally writing the first 2 episodes of this season in September of 2018 (“One Dark Night” and “If Looks could kill“) We’re not talking (Bedridden) ill either; we’re talking full blown hospital level ill. and as a result writing for season 6 ground to a halt after episode 2 and Season 5’s Christmas specials (Which were in the midst of being edited) were put on the backburner to the point that I was literally finalising the edit for “Jack Frost” the day before it was actually set to upload. Which was just insane as I normally edit about 2 months ahead of the actual upload schedule as a rule.

By the end of 2018 all work had stopped on producing new episodes and I was solely caring for my partner and trying to cling onto my Job as a wave of redundencies had recently hit the company. Luckily there seemed to be a period of calm around the beginning of March and by the end of that month I’d actually found a brief window of time to sit down and actually start making notes for a new review (Alongside reworking the two I’d written the previous year to freshen them up a bit) From there my partners health improved, work stabilized and I was finally able to get back on the horse and ride for season 6. and I REALLY didnt want to let the momentum stop once it had gotten underway. pulling a few late nights and making some quite difficult decisions I steamrolled through the first half of season 6 (Up toSilent Running) with little to no trouble. As autumn rolled through things began to get a little more complex, Halloweens kind of a big deal for me and my partner so there was a lot of planning around september time. and then Christmas pretty much starts from November 1st these days so there were a lot of things to circumnavigate at this point.

Still; we battled on and other than 1 or 2 very brief moments of “Squeaky bum time” (Memories of editing “Vamp!” 2 weeks before it was set to go live spring to mind) it was otherwise one of the smoothest runs to the end of the year that i’ve experienced since starting this channel. Christmas was more or less all tied up by the last week of November and i’d started writing season 7 by mid November (which is very shortly due to finish writing and start recording/editing)

I cant honestly say I have fond memories of this period of time. But as I said at the top of the post. im grateful for everything that’s happened while we made this. It’s the longest season we’ve ever done clocking in at 26 episodes + a crossover special and this season introduced me to some ace people like the guys and gals over at the “Inside the Nutshell”. It’s let me watch and talk about some weird and wonerful movies and in hindsight I had fun with this season. even if personally I was suffering a bit.

(Everyone loves the longform stuff. and some of these are absolute classics! I hope you enjoy this marathon of sleaze and weirdness.)

Black Christmas (1974)

I loved this movie. thats all I have to say really. Dont watch the 2006 “Black Christmas”, dont watch the 2019 “Black Christmas” they’re both a load of bollocks. THIS. This is a damn fine movie. it kickstarted the slash genre in the US, it’s witty, pacey, entertainingĀ  Well written with likeable characters who have complex backstories and interesting plot threads and it’s genuinely eerie in places. it’s well shot, the direction and cine for the time is original and does a lot of things that Hollywood wouldnt jump on for a good 5-10 years thereafter. it’s one of the few films that; when the end credits ran, genuinely gave me chills. I am not easily stirred. Im not easily effected by movies. This film made me feel something. it’s that good.

In fact apart from a couple of poor lighting choices and a couple of tonally out of place characters who are dispatched of rather quickly I think this is genuinely the best christmas horror film I’ve ever seen. thats all I have to say about this. The review below will suck this films dick some more. but yeh. I felt I needed to reiterate exactly how awesome this film is.

Unfortunately if trends continue this year as they have the last couple of years noone will really see this video. it’s an unfortunate side effect of uploading around christmas eve/Christmas day time. Everyones incredibly busy with family, friends and other such business that in the youtube industry I might as well “Dead” my channel from the 20th of December through to February and I probably wouldnt miss any views or subs…bizarrley while traffic is reletively high at this time of year (Due to so many people being off or looking for stuff to watch while the family slowly drive them insane) almost non of it finds it’s way to my channel at this time of year. An example being my Christmas Evil review which after 2 years of being online as of today has only just reached 22 views…which came as a shock to me when I just went to look it up because up until September this year it only had 11 views…so I guess search traffic is up this time. Another example being my Jack frost review from last year which faired somewhat better (but not by much) as it was uploaded on New years eve and was my last video on my channel for a while.

This isnt to moan about my stats (Hell if I have multiple blogs planned about THAT!) but it’s more to say that if you’ve taken the time to click on this post you’re probably one of an absolute minority. and the fact you’ve taken time out to watch this (especially if it’s at christmas time) genuinely means more to me than any other videos I upload at any other time of year. even if it’s out of season. these videos never get much attention. So I really want to personally thank you for taking the time to watch this. I like to think that even if only 5 people watch this video over the christms period. That if I can make those 5 peoples days that little bit more interesting or just stop them being driven mad my relatives. even if it’s just by telling them about a film they’ve just GOT to see. I’ve served my purpose as a critic.

Go watch Black Christmas. It’s really good.

Merry Christmas and a very happy new year from all of us here at TYTD Towers. We’ll be back with a new season in February/March time. and in the mean time. Make 2019 count.

– Dan

 

(This poster…this fucking poster. Fuck. grim m8.)

Emmanuelle (1974)

It’s been ages since I’ve covered an “Adult” film on here…I think in part it’s because reviewing erotic cinema can be a bit of a challenge. The line can be so fine between erotic cinema and just flat out porn that it can be really quite debatable as to whether im making an accurate critical assessment of it. Well that and Youtube has a barmy everytime so much as a nipple flies past the screen (This weeks review has been age restricted out of common decency)

There are several erotic films that I personally hold in very high regard that others consider really quite tacky or just porn. I mention in the video that im a massive Tinto Brass fan. but whereas most critics site his earlier works (Movies such as: The Howl, Salon Kitty or The Key) as prime examples of explorations of relationships and eroticism I personally much prefer his output in the 90’s which is much more bubblegum but with a distinct tinge of nastiness behind it. Not malice for the acts. but malice from misunderstood characters who slowly over the course of the films either learn better and become accepting of the situations in this film. Or get punished for continuing to not accept the scenarios. Movies like “All Ladies Do it“, “Cheeky” and “P.O Box Tinto Brass” are all quite comic in places but equally do have some slightly uncomfortable moments within them that make them challenging and engaging movies.

Emmanuelle was a film that very much put me in mind of Tinto Brass. it kind of feels like the missing link between his more serious 80’s art films and his more “Puff piece” light hearted 90’s films. I really genuinely quite enjoyed this one. the ending was deeply unplesent and the mysoginy sprinkled throughout I could quite happily do without but sans those elements this is quite a reasonable exploration of sexuality. I really do want to get my hands on the sequel just to see what the series did next and I really hope they didnt just go “Full porn” too quickly. Having seen the Emmanuelle TV series (both “2000” and “In Space”) I can confirm that at least by the 1990’s it had gone full softcore porn…Dont get me wrong there were some interesting ideas in there from a science fiction perspective…but a few interesting ideas sprinkled into porn is still porn ultimately. Honestly? I’d be interested in finding this films tipping point. though I feel it may be a while before I get my hands on another one of these.

https://www.breach.tv/embed/de94a383cd258cea331b

[Due to several copyright takedowns by the melts over at “Studiocanal” this episode is now being hosted uncut on Breach.tv – Please click the above link!]

(There are 3-4 posters for this film, but they’re all either in terrible quality or explicit. This one was the only one I could find that was neither of these things…and even then I had to crop it…It’s not my favourite poster i’ve seen though…)

Dan and Ben Take the P.I.F’s!: The “Charlie Says Vol.2” Comedy Dining Experience

In celebration of hitting a 200 subscriber milestone I thought I’d offer up a bit of a bonus video this week! here’s a commentary we recorded in November 2018 covering over 150 Public information films. We were really rather “Merry”. and we will admit it’s a bit more towards the “Derek and Clive” end of the spectrum as a result. Still! here’s to the next 200! and we hope you enjoy this dealve into the terrifying world of the UK in the 1970’s and 80’s

 

Liquid Sky (1982)

It’s rare that I get to see films like Liquid sky. Movies movies sacrifice plot over absolutely everything in order to deliver a creative, colourful and unique viewing experience. This isnt a film that is trying to balance a good plot with visuals. This film couldn’t care less where its going. It just wants to look good doing it. And in that sense it’s absolutely achieved its goal here.

The films a rare example of a “Nice Video; Shame about the song” movie that’s made it onto my shelf of interesting things. And I’m pretty sure it’s going to be there for a pretty long time. It does have its faults, bit it’s far from a terrible film.

Equally; I’m not sure if I mention this in the review (I wrote this some time around March 2019) but I found out today (19th July 2019) that lead actress Anne Calisle plays both Jimmy and Margret in this film. If I dont mention it in the review then I almost certainly would have as it’s an astounding performance in this case! If I do mention it…then I was a good egg for doing so and its yet further proof of my increasing frailty. Anyway! Enjoy.

(While the original poster is nice…the VS re-release poster is just astounding…if not a tad muted for my taste.)

Jack Frost (1997)

Rounding off both Season 5 and 2018; here we have Jack Frost. A film thats been on my radar more or less since it came out due largely to it’s prominence in several Nerdy “Forbidden Planet” esq stores that used to populate the market stalls and highstreets where I lived in the early 2000’s. the Holographic Box art that came with the VHS of this movie was very unusual for the time and because of that I’d always wanted to check it out (Even though I knew deep down that if they had to stress a gimmick like this this hard it probably wouldnt be very good.)

The reality is, this films quite enjoyable. its by no means a regualar watch, nor is it anything groundbreaking. But I can easily see myself watching this again this Christmas and it was good enough that I’d certainly be interested in picking up the sequel.

If you are interested in picking this one up Vinegar Syndrome are the current distributors for it and they’ve done a cracking job with the Bluray version, if you like your “Troma” movies or anything by “Full moon” I think you’d probably quite dig this one.

This review was intended to make it up to youtube on the 24th of December however due to ongoing issues in personal life involving my partner I was unfortunately at the hospital all through the day this was set to go live and I was unable to schedule it in advance due to repeated copyright strikes. As a result I had to re-edit this review on the fly between trips to the hospital to try and get it up before the year out. as a result this one came out on the 31st but does wish people a merry christmas and a happy new year (Well…at least I got the last part right).

 

(Personally…while the original poster was striking and got my attention. I think the new artwork for it (Pictured above) looks much more fitting)

Penetration Angst (2003)

The story that I tell at the beginning of this review is very much true. back in the mists of time for what was the mid 2000’s Sky digital was a veritable raft of obscure, strange and bordering on the “Public Access” levels of quality content. I could and would easily sink entire nights flicking through the likes of “Rapture TV”, “The Community Channel”, “Anime Central”, “Channel M” And “Teachers TV” and thats before I got into the foreign channels or better still the cheapo foreign channels (Which especially after a beer or two quickly resemble alternate universe television)

The Horror Channel around this time was in it’s absolute infancy. and while it’s not unheard of now to catch classics like “The Evil Dead”, “The Fog” and “The Thing” on there back in 2004-2009 you were much MUCH more likely to find films like “The Wasp Woman”, “Manic Nurses Find Ecstacy” and in the early hours of the morning, Indie fodder like this movie.

It was a simpler time in all honesty and I do genuinely miss that invigorating thrill that came with landing on the “Cheapo Movie” channels and finding all sorts of obscure trash to pick through. “Movies 4 Men”, “Talking pictures” and “True Movies” still carry the mantel to this day but it’s not quite the same without those absolute bargain bin features padding out the graveyard slot.

Penetration angst is a film that stayed with me for over a decade before I actually found out what it was and the fact I was actually able to secure a copy only makes me all the better for it. it’s filth cinema, smutty, sultry and dirty a true contender in the “Modern Exploitation cinema” catagory. It has a pride of place on my shelf and with the exception of the likes of “Bad Biology” and “Teeth” I’d argue it’s the best non porn vagina driven movie I’ve ever seen.

(Also. if you own a digital television subscription be it Sky, Virgin or Freeview give your obscure channels a spin some time…while they’re not quite as tacky as they were back in the day. They do still have the habit of pulling absolute chaos out of there backsides!)

(This is another film that never quite got it’s poster/DVD art right…then again how do you market a killer vagina movie!?)

The Bikini Model Academy (2015) Comedy Dining Experience

After we enjoyed recording a commentary for “Threads” so much both myself and my co-host Ben Decided to do a couple more and see if the “Magic” was just a one off or whether we had a thing going here…this is the first of 3 films we covered in one evening (The 2nd is “Coming soon”) the 3rd…well…im not sure what to do with that one (Alcohol and Cheeseburgers are a daaaangerous mix)

Either way we felt happy enough with that session that we have more of these pencilled in coming soon so if you cant be bothered to sit through Bikini model academy WITHOUT 2 people taking the piss out of it I highly advise you give our full length commentary a go!