Freakmaker (The Mutations) (1974)

There’s not really a whole lot more I can say about my experience with “The Mutations” that isnt already mentioned in my video review below. Quite honestly I found a very brief low quality clip of it on youtube and when it turned up in one of the VHS tape hauls I picked up I was over the moon quite honestly…I dont think it quite lived up to my expectations (But then again these things rarely do) But what I did enjoy about this one was just how B-movie(Ish) it could be at times. Seriously. there are moments in this movie that literally wouldnt have felt out of place in a movie 20 years this films senior. And I seriously cannot understate how fantastic Tom Baker and the supporting circus cast are in this movie.

It’s recently been released by DVDDiabolik (Available here) and I highly reccommend checking it out. it’s currently a limited edition but hopefully a standard edition release wont be that far away too!

 

(That poster is so badass. a design classic; it pretty much tell’s you everything you need to know about the movie without you even having to see it. I love it.)

Slade In: “Flame” (1975)

It was Iain Lee who first introduced me to “Slade In: ‘Flame’ ” via his radio show a few years ago. If memory serves he dedicated nearly an hour of one of his shows to Slade, the band and this film in particular. mentioning that it was one of the best films he’d ever seen. So naturally I immediately went to look for a copy, at which point my testicles retracted into my pelvis as I saw the price was way more than I could ever afford.

I was incredibly lucky last year to score this film for a tenner. when; at the time prices were between 75 and 200 pounds for a copy. Since making this review the price has drastically decreased…it’s still a bit pricy for a nearly 10 year old DVD (Between 15 and 25 pounds at the time of writing) but if you like what you see in this review, I say go and grab it. it’s a really nice little movie…I’d maybe stop short of saying it’s essential. But Im happy that I have a copy and if nothing else it introduced me to the world of “Slade” which; well, other than that christmas song. there wasnt really a whole lotta Slade going on in my life.

I would genuinely like to see what a Bluray scan of this film would surface…it’d also be nice to have a proper “Making of” for this one, as while the hour long interview with Noddy Holder present on the disc is MORE than welcome…it’s only really one side of the story and it’d be nice to hear about the whole bands experiences (Or even the writers and directors thoughts…assuming they arnt suffering from a case of fatal death)

A great little film. genuinely. and one I’ll probably end up digging out again sooner rather than later.

 

(This poster is WAY too busy…but the DVD art is WAY too minimalist…it’s all or nothing with Slade…this was the learning curve I’ve been on.)

Hercules (1983)

We’re Back! and it feels like Bloody ages since I put the lid on Season 6. I started writing season 7 back in early November last year and originally this episode was supposed to be the 10th in this seasons run. I’d never seen it before and apart from being a bit of a fan of Lou Ferrigno’s film work I couldnt have told you anything about this before I hit play. as soon as the credits rolled I knew that this one simply HAD to be the opener. it’s so perfect to hit the ground running! Giant robot monsters, space bears and rainbows just…bloody…everywhere!

we’re back now for a 17 week run (Plus plenty of extras along the way!) we hope you enjoy this new series!

 

(That poster man!…this would sell ANYONE to go and check this thing out!)

Finishing the Complete Sixth Series (2019)

To say that it’s a miracle that this season even got made is an understatement in and of itself. When I first set out to make this I had no idea of the trials and tribulations that would unfold during this seasons run. It’s well documented at this point on this site but Season 6 was predominantly marred by the fact that my partner was taken seriously ill after literally writing the first 2 episodes of this season in September of 2018 (“One Dark Night” and “If Looks could kill“) We’re not talking (Bedridden) ill either; we’re talking full blown hospital level ill. and as a result writing for season 6 ground to a halt after episode 2 and Season 5’s Christmas specials (Which were in the midst of being edited) were put on the backburner to the point that I was literally finalising the edit for “Jack Frost” the day before it was actually set to upload. Which was just insane as I normally edit about 2 months ahead of the actual upload schedule as a rule.

By the end of 2018 all work had stopped on producing new episodes and I was solely caring for my partner and trying to cling onto my Job as a wave of redundencies had recently hit the company. Luckily there seemed to be a period of calm around the beginning of March and by the end of that month I’d actually found a brief window of time to sit down and actually start making notes for a new review (Alongside reworking the two I’d written the previous year to freshen them up a bit) From there my partners health improved, work stabilized and I was finally able to get back on the horse and ride for season 6. and I REALLY didnt want to let the momentum stop once it had gotten underway. pulling a few late nights and making some quite difficult decisions I steamrolled through the first half of season 6 (Up toSilent Running) with little to no trouble. As autumn rolled through things began to get a little more complex, Halloweens kind of a big deal for me and my partner so there was a lot of planning around september time. and then Christmas pretty much starts from November 1st these days so there were a lot of things to circumnavigate at this point.

Still; we battled on and other than 1 or 2 very brief moments of “Squeaky bum time” (Memories of editing “Vamp!” 2 weeks before it was set to go live spring to mind) it was otherwise one of the smoothest runs to the end of the year that i’ve experienced since starting this channel. Christmas was more or less all tied up by the last week of November and i’d started writing season 7 by mid November (which is very shortly due to finish writing and start recording/editing)

I cant honestly say I have fond memories of this period of time. But as I said at the top of the post. im grateful for everything that’s happened while we made this. It’s the longest season we’ve ever done clocking in at 26 episodes + a crossover special and this season introduced me to some ace people like the guys and gals over at the “Inside the Nutshell”. It’s let me watch and talk about some weird and wonerful movies and in hindsight I had fun with this season. even if personally I was suffering a bit.

(Everyone loves the longform stuff. and some of these are absolute classics! I hope you enjoy this marathon of sleaze and weirdness.)

Christophers Christmas Mission (Sagan Om Karl – Bertil Jonssons Julafton) (1975)

This one really was a difficult watch in all honesty. it’s a testamony to how pre-conceived opinions on what a film is about can drastically effect the overall enjoyment of the piece. In the UK this was genuinely marketed as a movie for young kids. the cover for the VHS and DVD releases were both incredibly kid friendly (See the poster at the beginning of my review for a better idea of exactly how kid friendly it looked) and the back of the box was colourful and written in a way to make it easy for kids to get an idea of what this is about. all mentions of Socialism and communism or our lord Jesus christ is omitted in the blurb on the back of the case for this one and Bernard cribbins is mentioned multiple times as a means to try and sell this to them.

Genuinely; I think Abby home video bought this and didnt realise what they’d got their hands on till it was too late to back out of it…either that or they planned to put this out as a kids film knowingly with no regard for what it actually is about…which just plain sucks in all honesty. I think in the hands of a decent distributor (And with a decent remaster and maybe a couple of extras) this could really make a rather lovely set. Im not one for talking about “Dream releases” for content here but I think I can make an exception with this one as it kind of feels right to give it a decent release. Here’s what I’d do with it if I got my hands on it.

*4K Scan of the original film elements followed by a full remaster (clean up, colour grade and levels check)

*Both cuts of this film (Both the english Cribbins version and the original Swedish release with subs) available on the disc (The English version to be recreated using the 4k swedish scan as nothing is significantly altered and only a scene or two have been removed so it would be easy to resynch the english dub track)

*Commentary with Cribbins + A couple of film critics (Im looking at you Kim Newman and Alan Jones!) to talk about the history of this film, the animation style, why the themes of the film probably didnt take to a british audience and any juicy tidbits about Per Åhlin and Tage Danielsson

*A documentary following the production of this feature + a brief history of it’s broadcasting history both in Sweden and the UK

* (If possible…hell it’s my fantasy why not) An isolated Score track…for all that lurrrrvely Jazz and Bossa.

*a mini Documentary about politics in christmas movies. dealing specifically aroun the socialist themes raised in this feature and a discussion on whether Christmas is more personified by the Left or the Right.

*old promotional materials (TV spots, radio spots if their are any,) both from the UK and Europe

*A NICE. Bluray cover. using newly drawn artwork thats fitting for the 15 – 30 year old audience that this film is clearly based at.

*Reversable artwork containing the original Abby home video release cover artwork…Okay im joking…but what I would like is:

*Reversable artwork that uses it’s swedish title alongside some of the original promotional artwork (See the image used in my thumbnail of this review)

Obviously this release will never happen in a million years. but this movies got such a decent and wholesome message I really wish it would. it’s charming and to see it have such a shoddy release history really is a proper downer. Still…at least we got the chance to have it localised. had it not been I may never have heard of it.

(The animation still creeps me out a bit…it reminds me a bit of Wondershowzens more abstract animation sections)

Prancer Returns (2001)

This was not a good movie. it wasnt quite the worst I’ve ever seen. but it was pretty bad. We’re talking just south of Clarke Paylow bad. which is pretty bad. this film isnt badly made…I mean it’s badly cut and tinted (In my opinion) but it commits the cardinal sin…it’s really boring and it just retreads existing ground that the first film covered. it’s a needless sequel. it literally serves no purpose other than to exist…and to me thats a real downer….

I think I thrash this one pretty consistently in the video below…but if you want an even shorter review than that. You’re unlikely to fall onto this one in the wild. and if you do. run the fuck away from it. it’s almost Hallmark christmas movie bad.

(The cover is literally the best thing about this…and even thats a bit rubbish…)

The Bears who Saved Christmas (Holly and Christopher) (1994)

This movie brings to a close a 3 year trilogy of Film Roman (and film roman esq) Christmas movies. Starting with Dot and Spots magical Christmas adventure, and then last year with Nick and Noel. These tend to be the most common animated non mainstream kids films out there. And honestly? most of them could go in the crushy bin for me.

I think out of all of them Dot and Spot was probably the one I enjoyed the most, Nick and Noel was okay but a little bland and this film has way too many problems despite it’s mightily impressive cast list. Holly and Christopher are just a bit creepy to me and in general the bears who saved christmas is just a pretty mediocre christmas special.

I dont want to be a scrooge about this but honestly; there is much much better out there. You can do better and deserve better than these movies. I dont know if there are any more film roman christmas specials out there. honestly I havent looked that much further beyond these three films…there has to be more surely?…surely.

 

(There are no good covers for this special…and it never got a poster…so…bleh. this’ll do)

XTRO (1982)

It’s Red Letter Media who should really get the thanks for properly introducing me to XTRO honestly…I had seen clips from this film before but I didnt really get a chance to properly understand the context of those clips until Mike, Jay and co properly broke this film down. It was after watching there overview of this movie that I knew I had to see it for myself.

And I really wasnt dissapointed…this films a real oddity. and it’s genuinely one of the hardest films I’ve had to catgorize for my channel really…I still have doubts about whether it should have been a “Red Triangle” episode or not…but I just dont think the films smart enough or tonally in line enough to be an out and out arty horror film…it’s just kind of…On the level. Which is fine! dont get me wrong if your looking for a movie to watch I DEFINITELY recommend you go and check this one out. But if you’ve had any prior exposure to this one beforehand. do lower your expectations. You may have it in your head that this films going to brilliant. It is enjoyable…but it’s not earth shattering. Your not looking at a top tier cult classic here…it’s definitely cult. but I think it’s got a bit more time to go on it yet before I can personally call it an out and out “Classic”

Enjoyable. This films enjoyable. I’ll probably watch it again. I still really want to get my hands on the Bluray for it at some point. but for now there are other pictures to be cracking on with. And im not in a major hurry to revisit this one.

I’ll repeat here what I said in my review (And im going to “Caps” it to be annoying) IF YOU ARE GOING TO WATCH THIS MOVIE, GO AND BUY THE BLURAY!. I really cant stress that point enough…this film looked fine on tape. But on Bluray I imagine its infinitely much more enjoyable!

(There are a couple of posters floating around for this one…neither of them really capture the true essence of XTRO though…I do realise that is a big ask.)

Little Heros (1999)

It took me a while to get around to the other feature shown on the prism leisure ultra cheapo kids double pack collection which featured the worst film i’ve ever seen “Lets Ruin Dads Day“. Indeed I put off talking about “Little Hero’s” for so long purely because I couldnt face seeing what film would be deemed “On par’ with such a terrible terrible movie. Which I think is why Im so non plussed about this movie. it’s not offensively bad, but you definitely could do better.

Its a rip off film at it’s heart mainly happy to try and suck any life it can get from the Home alone movies or the “Talking animal” genre which became very popular in the early to mid 90’s but by 1999 was most definitely on the wane.

Honestly; if you never saw this movie you’d never miss it…which is probably the most damning thing I can say about it. it’s impact in the world is as such that if it completely vanished off the face of the earth tomorrow. Probably only half a dozen people would even notice or care.

the cardinal sin is “Thou Shalt not Bore” and this films predictable plot, bad acting, below standard slapstick and generally poor production values (Made only worse by the blatant pizza hut promotional pieces) just left me waiting for this film to end.

I will do the sequels at some point…but at the minute my “To Watch” Pile is literally terrifying and I also am in desperate need of making a new blog for the site…so it may be a while before we find out how good the script was that a studio decided “Little Hero’s 2” was a good idea.

(This film didnt have a film poster (As far as I could find). So here’s the DVD cover. I dont know what im looking at…it looks like someone just took random stills/promotional work and laid them over someones shed…to me; its an offense to the eyes)

Terminator Woman (1993)

So We have a bit of an oddity here today. Way back in Season 4 I ended up doing a collaboration with a fellow youtuber Raymond Smith. Ray was in the process of doing a month on “Terminator” Knock off movies and we decided it would be pretty cool if he ended his series of Terminator movies and I ended my 4th Season with a cross over collaboration. The first one I’d ever done non the less!

It was huge fun working with Raymond and I really hope we get the chance to work together again in the future 🙂 He’s a fun reviewer and his channels heaving with movie reviews of every possible shape and size! I highly recommend checking him out some time (You can head straight to his youtube channel by clicking Here)

Unfortunately due to copyright issues half of our collaboration was removed from youtube by a company called “Lasso Entertainment”. Naturally this was most heinous and simply would not stand. So while I’ve been backlogging my reviews over on Breach.tv  I decided it was time to dust this one off and give it a proper home on this site. Breach arnt quite as anal about upholding the whims and wishes of companies who have little or nothing to do with the movies we talk about and actually seems to understand what “Fair Use” is…so they’re an ace company in my books! anyway; before this turns into a mini rant; I hope you enjoy this not as often seen review! You can get to it by either clicking the link below the picture or by clicking the picture itself! Oh! and before I forget! you can check out the second part of this review for the other film we collaborated on 1989’s “Lady Terminator” By clicking Here

TW

This Poster…man…this bloody poster…

https://www.breach.tv/video/6268/terminator-woman-1993-raymond-reviews-ft-tytd-reviews