TYTD Reviews

The ‘Zombi’ series up to this point? has hardly been the bastion of continuity, but its a series I almost feel compelled to respect out of the sheer GAUL of the concept of this series. SOMEONE ACTUALLY sat there and went ‘Hey, y’know ‘Dawn of the dead’ yeah? that revolutionary zombie movie that helped shape the future of horror and zombie cinema for the next 50+ years yeah? Well in Italy its called ‘Zombi’, and Italian copyright laws were written on a cocktail napkin…so lets just…make up a sequel thats *Technically* a prequel and get a famous Italian horror director in to direct it…and we’ll call it ‘Zombi 2!’ GENIUS.

and…it kind of was!? Like…I dont think ‘Zombi 2’ (or ‘Zombie’ or ‘Zombie flesh eaters’ if your british) was anywhere near as influential as ‘Dawn’ but it cant be denied that the film really helped spin up a kind of alternate WAY more realistically gory iteration of the zombie, at a time when the whole concept was really still cooking…

WELL! almost 10 years after ‘Zombi 2’ lurched its way onto screens, some KERRAZY Italian producers hired Fulci back to make a sequel to his original work and ‘Zombi 3’ became a thing! Only…it almost didnt, because Fulci wasnt a fan of the script, to the point that between him and his daughter, the pair ‘maliciously complianced’ the CRAP out of the script, essentially blunting down what was supposed to be a campy supernatural horror film about black magic rituals and cannibalistic islanders raising the dead into ‘a group of people get caught up in a zombie uprising and try to hold out long enough to survive across a handful of locations.’

And to complicate matters even further! Fulci had a stroke after handing in a VERY rough 70 minute cut of the footage he’d shot up to that point (six weeks into the production) and had to leave the production early, with no chance of completion, Which left the producers in a spot because (allegedly) 20 minutes of that was just footage of the main cast canoeing up and down a river.

SO! They got Claudio Fragasso and Bruno Mattei, who just so happened to be ALSO working on a movie in the phillipines around the same time Fulci was taken ill, to pivot this flattened out script away from black magic supernaturalism, and into a more action/science fiction oriented production…and the results, are the best kind of messy I can describe.

So the films plot is basically as described above, We open with two scientists experimenting with a chemical compound called ‘Death-1’ which seemingly reanimates anything that comes into contact with it, with slimey/explodey results. Its…quite horrific honestly, so much so that the lead doctor on the project ends up calling his boss, one ‘General Morton’ of the military to explain that the project is too much for him to handle, and he wants to revert it back to the military. Morton obliges, but during the pick up and collection of ‘Death-1’ a raid occurs and the single surviving viral sample is stolen by theives who lead the military out into the jungle while trying to go into hiding.

Unfortunately for the theives, one of the militaries ariel corps manages to land a shot on the guy carrying the briefcase, and in doing so wounds the man, and breaks the case open, smashing the vial of ‘Death-1’ all over the crooks hand. He flees to a local motel to try and lie low. But its too late and a terrifying transformation begins. and from there things begin to spiral, as the military try to cover up a zombie incident in the motel by burning the corpse of ‘Patient zero’, they accidentally send infected ashes into the air, which infects the bird population in the area and turns all of them into rabid flesh hungry beasts who, on attacking the locals ALSO infect them with the zombie virus too.

and from there, we follow a rag tag group of survivors as they experience the spreading of the virus, manage to survive it, and eventually band together as a group of uninfected to escape the contamination zone, avoiding zombies AND the militaries ‘Clean up’ team, who have been ordered to essentially genocide the contamination zone as a way of trying to control the spread of the virus (which itself is a subplot, as the doctor who quit his role, begins arguing virology to General Morton, who really just…doesnt seem to care…)

And im going to be blunt when I say this, is this the most original film in the world? absolutely not, 50% of this film is essentially a campy poor mans ‘Day of the dead’ with 40% being made up of elements of almost every zombie movie from 1968 through to the present day of ’88. With notable ‘lifts’ coming from ‘Dawn of the dead’, ‘Return of the living dead’, ‘Zombie Flesh Eaters’, ‘Doctor Butcher M.D’ and ‘Hell of the living dead’. But is this film a fun rollercoaster ride through the ‘greatest hits of zombie movies’ and then some?! You better believe it!

The one and only major issue I have with this film is the pacing of its script. The first act is positively breakneck, unrelentingly dropping SO much lore, and character background and information for you to keep in mind as the film goes on, it feels like its setting up some kind of incoherent ‘epic’…which…it kind of is really! The second act builds on that fast paced energy and throws some UTTERLY bizzare curve balls (Flying Fridge head is all im gonna say on THAT front!)

But its the second half of the second act where it kind of starts to lose me a bit. the pacing begins to slow down, to rev down, it starts getting bogged down in setting up its own finale and by the time the 3rd act had really started to get underway, it was crawling. by the end, i’d very much felt like it had overstayed its welcome. Despite the ending being more than solid enough. This probably would have been a great hour and 15 to hour and 20 with heavy trims to the third act specifically, but that pacing really kind of hobbled what would have probably been one of the best Italian Zombie movies ever made for me.

Outside of that though? I had no real issues with this at all, its a somewhat campy zombie horror film that is taking itself seriously as a production, while absolutely NOT being afraid to be tongue in cheek about itself, its confident in what it wants to be, and the pairing on script duties of Fragasso and his partner, along with Fulcis tweaks has produced a film that I feel has just enough of the supernatural and ‘unknown’ to keep it weird, but just enough of the ‘butch’ action/sci fi stuff to really make things go with a bang (sometimes quite literally!)

The plot itself is a dogs dinner, im not going to lie. it skips around between WAY too many characters, it doesnt really try to balance anything out properly, geographically; its hard to tell where everyone is in relation to each other, and the tone shifts up and down like a slide whistle.

Its a bad script, but its an entertaining script, one that rarely if ever has dull moments. is genuinely surprising in places and given the behind the scenes dramas, its amazing something so fun and coherent was able to be churned out on such short notice. its not elegant, its not considered, and its hardly original, but I guarentee, if you’ve ever played any of the ‘resident evil’, ‘silent hill’ or ‘left 4 dead’ games, you’ll feel SUPER at home here with the pacing style and aesthetics of this storytelling.

The characters are all VERY hammy and minimally scripted, we basically get just enough background to get a vibe for the character, the events that led to them finding the wider group of ‘survivors’ and from there, its all about staying alive for these guys and gals, while delivering some of THE most faux macho campy dialogue i’ve heard in a long time. I had a BALL even beginning to guess what these guys were going to say next!

As for the direciton? it’s equally messy, but you can at least see each directors influences here, and its a heady brew of strong coloured light work, gore, titilation and explosions. Its not the most competent of productions. But again, given this went through (at least) 3 different directors, all of whome have different fundamental production styles and at least SOME claims to fame between them at this point, Infamous or otherwise.

Whats presented here, is fine. If, like me, you get the most out of these films in the company of friends and a couple of beers, you really wont notice continuity issues as broadly, and the work between the various crews on this production is inconsistent, but it still kind of works for me? we jump from heavily styalised lighting scenes, to clinically lit pieces, to colourful outdoor sequences in a manner I can only describe as ‘ADHD Addled’ and, as a neurodiverse person, I was SO happy with the end result, its a production thats just…racing to get its ideas out as quickly as possible and the coordination between the directors, the cast and the crew results in a largely competent but manic end product that I was glued to for the vast majority.

The cine is much the same, lots of different styles being thrown into a melting pot, a lot of it works great, its nowhere near as ‘iconic’ or ‘memorable’ as the cine work in the original ‘Zombie’, but then, this appeals to me in a different way. the use of smoke and fog machines gives everything a dreamy woozy feeling, the coloured gel work adds to that supernatural undercurrent. the sequences are scattershot and frantic for the most part, colour work is varied and largely great. the edit is an absolute free for all, its chaos cinema at its finest and I had a real soft spot for it.

As for the performances? hamtastic in the best possible way, with Beatrice ring, Ottaviano Dell’Acqua and Robert Marius being definite highlights for me, they have a very over the top physical presence, and that tried and tested method of redubbing the entire audio suite in post lands us with some line deliveries that quite honestly have to be heard to be believed. I dont think there was a single performance in this that I didnt enjoy thoroughly.

All that AND a kickass 80s synth pop, syth rock and general rock soundtrack, the finest of Italia. Timed perfectly with some absolute stunners in the pack. I need the soundtrack for this on vinyl, in my collection as soon as possible.

I say this sincerely, this is probably the best film to recommend to someone who wants to explore the italian zombie movie subgenre. Its not the best technically, the story is a mess and it may not be as iconic as some other Italian zombie films. But its probably the best example of a good quality take on the type of film making your going to be getting into if your new to the genre, and its a self contained story.

Id honestly forgotten how enjoyable ‘Zombi 3’ was, it must be going on for 7-8 years since I last caught it, and I was actually quite surprised at just how pacey it really is as a work. I think with beer and friends, this could be the making of a great evening. and yes, while I know deep down this is kind of a cheap rip off of several other better movies. It is nice to see that AND some original weirdness all just bundled together into a nice neat package that gives you everything you could want in a Zombie movie with a healthy dose of 80s exploitation action and sci-fi to boot!

Definitely recommended, whether your here for the horror, the action or the weirdness…there really is something for anyone into ‘cult’.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/zombie-flesh-eaters-2/

Welp. It may have taken them 8 films to get it right (and even that is stretching the definition of ‘Right.’) but ‘It Kills: Camp Blood 7’ is the first film in the franchise that basically manages to just…DO the thing I want the film to do, without veering wildly off the rails and bursting into flames for no good reason at all…and what a monkeys paw of a film this thing truely is.

The plot? its Fall break, and a group of 5 students are planning on going on a road trip. while on the road they spot a hitchiker named ‘Bishop’ who’s hiking the trails around Camp Blackwood. The gang introduce themselves as ‘Jennie’ an upbeat compassionate lady leader of the group, Anna, a ‘frustrated’ recently single pringle who hates her ex, Lizzy, the bookworm of the group, Terry an upbeat chap in a wheelchair, And Drake. the BIGGEST arsehole i’ve seen realised on screen in a good while (think ‘Alan’ from ‘Return to Sleepaway Camp’ and your not a million miles off) and Annas Ex to boot…

Bishop explains that he’s hiking around Camp Blackwood looking for his wife, who went missing 4 months ago. The police have closed the search for her, so Bishop hopes that by scouring the area himself, he may either finally get closure for himself, or for any of the other families who’ve lost people on the trails at Camp Blackwood. Lizzy also backs this up, recounting the legend of Camp Blackwood. That there was a summer camp there, but some children went missing and two councillors were murdered, so the camps were closed, but its rumoured that anyone wandering the grounds will be killed or kidnapped by a muderous killer clown.

Well; as you can imagine, they arrive at Camp Blackwood. and theres a killer clown…who slowly starts picking them all off. all the while we get treated ONCE AGAIN to the same tropes that were unoriginal in the first film…SEVEN films prior.

Why do I describe this film as a monkeys paw? Well…its because technically; this is the best Camp Blood movie that i’ve seen to date. Its Mark Polonia, so dont expect a studio grade multi billion dollar feature. But the direction is more than adiquate here. Theres a clear vision realised quite well, with decently constructed sequence work (for the most part) the kill scenes are low budget, but handled fairly well given the low budget nature, graphic overlays are used here in places over CG, which I for one am VERY grateful for. The lighting is largely consistent, you can SEE everything thats going on in the film.

Direction of the cast is…passable. Which, for this franchise is pretty miraculous. Polonia has managed to give the cast enough badnwidth to explore their set space and be creative with prop use. But it does feel like he may have been a bit of a stickler for dialogue and delivery. As there are moments where the cast have lines to deliver that dont seem to match the natural cadence or flow of their voice or accent. Its all passably fine. But it does make some of the cast come unstuck at times.

The cine is probably some of the nicest of the franchise so far, and certainly some of the broadest scope. Shots are generally fairly functional over creatively motivated. But given half the films in this series dont even use a tripod and were cut together by people who’d not only never shot coverage or B-roll before, but had LITERALLY never edited before. This is a VERY sturdy work in comparison.

The effects on the kills are a little spotty, but on the whole are about as good as can be expected for the budget, and I REALLY appreciate they keep CG overlays to a minimum as ‘Camp Blood 666’ pretty much put me off them for life.

Theres a handful of continuity and white balance issues, some of the sequence building is a little confusing (it feels like there are multiple clown killers in a couple of places because the line isnt really adhered to) But shots are considered, seemingly loosely storyboarded and you can see Polonias thought process running through this thing. While it is a shame there are a few minor issues throughout such as overzealous camera wobble and some shots ending up EVER so slightly soft focus…again, this series has been in the pits for years. im just grateful its (largely) functional.

The performances are a bit pendulous. When they’re good, they’re pretty decent honestly. Probably some of the best performances since the first 2-3 films…But when they’re bad, they’re easily some of the poorest performances the franchise has seen. Of note in particular is a hillbilly couple who turn up near the beginning of the film, who are seemingly only 30% comitted to Hillbillying, and regularly slip not only out of the southern stereotypical accent…but out of their OWN accents into the kind of voice people make when they’re reading lines from a cue card they’ve never seen before…and they cant read well.

Greta Volkova as Jenny in this is the best performer. Thats a certainty for me. Shes consistent, has very few poor deliveries and IS animate for most of the time shes on screen. Her Co-stars are (largely) fine…but Greta stood out to me, she’s probably one of the best performers in this series up to this point.

Even the soundtrack cues take a step up and a bit of a step sideways, as we finally break free of Sterlings generic audio library for tracks. we DO still use a meaty chunk from it, but we’re using other royalty free sources now on top of it! Which is a breath of fresh air after 3-5 films of the same exact audio cues OVER and OVER again.

No; this films monkey paw? is the script…Because while the visuals, sound and performances are probably some of the best of the series so far in my opinion, excelling most of the other films by a significant margin…The script? is THE most generic, overly safe, plodding piece that the franchise has had outside of ‘Part 5’ which was literally just a clip show of ‘Part 4’ with 10 extra minutes duct taped onto the end of it.

The problems are multi-fold. for a starters, the actual plot is a derivative mesh of ideas from the previous films and THE safest ‘slasher stalker’ plot i’ve seen in a good while…Literally the whole plot is ’30 year old teens end up checking out an abandoned summer camp…during the DAY…and they wind up trapped there and killed in various fairly generic ways’. Theres no twists, no gimmicks, no out of left field additions, no surprises. Its shooting fish in a barrel.

We have multiple tropes returning to pad the runtime such as extended driving sequences, extended wandering around in the woods sequences, scenes of the gang finding an abandoned ‘Camp Blood’ sign, scenes of the gang around a camp fire talking about the legend of the clown killer, extended chase and kill sequences. There is very VERY little here that is unique to this film. and what is, isnt really worth mentioning.

The film isnt in a rush either, expect these extended wandering and ambling sequences to make up a not insignificant chunk of the first 2 acts, while the final act is a bit truncated and largely just an extended chase sequence with kills dotted along the way. its plodding. and even clocking in at 69 minutes long, it feels like it never really gets any kind of steam under it beyond its initial push when the first kill happens.

I think a major problem with this film is that, with them having to shoot in daylight because of lighting issues, it really reduces any sense of tension. the script doesnt lend itself to a sense of unease, so the end result at times feels almost comedic, even in the parts that absolutely wernt aiming for that. the dialogue isnt tailored to the cast, theres a ‘Sterling entertainment’ extended topless sequence in the opening of the film to get the quota out of the way. but the Clown killer as a character, by this point, doesnt even really make a whole lot of sense within this universe. He’s essentially Omnipotent, theres no real reason for him to be killing people, and he can quite literally pop in and out of locations at will, and seemingly can be in multiple locations pretty much instantaineously. The inconsistencies really dont help with giving us any kind of stakes, because why should I be scared of a clown killer that, on a whim, could materialise right behind me silently and end me in less than 3 seconds?

Throw in that the characterizations are all pretty one note and generlized and that theres a distinct whiff of ‘Friday the 13th part 2’ in this entry…and I found ‘Camp Blood 7’ to ultimatley be a bit of a frustrating watch. A film that simultaineously drastically improves the technical skill of the franchise, but marries it to a script thats so generic and by the numbers it actually kind of put me off it. It plays all the right notes, but it kind of fails the vibe check for me.

I’d say if you were interested in the series, this one would be a must see…But do temper your expectations on the plot front.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/it-kills-camp-blood-7/

Im going to keep this review short and sweet really; there are 10 good minutes in this film. take away the 8 minutes of titles and credits and your left essentially, with an hour of the drabbest padding i’ve seen in a long LONG time.

The plots straightforward, we open with the death of an old lady who owns a mansion, in her dying arms she clutches a clown doll. Her nearest relative is contacted who is a business man, and him and his pregnant wife Annie move into the house with aspirations to make it a new start for their family. Unfortunately, Annie finds the clown doll, and it turns out, its a murderous clown doll…who muders her!

Luckily they manage to save the baby, and the kid grows a tremendous fondness for the clown doll who becomes his new best friend. Meanwhile, the father, still mourning the loss of his wife, winds up dating his secretary, things begin to warm up pretty fast, when she TOO finds out about the killer doll, and a VERY brief cat and mouse game begins in which the new mrs tries to get rid of the doll, while the doll tries to stealthily kill her. All this leads to a very dissapointing finale that isnt anything you havent seen before.

Its been compared to the ‘Childs Play’ films and was essentially heavily inspired by the franchise. But theres just…NOTHING here.

The script is literally 60 minutes of people wandering around or idley chatting about their lives, with 10 minutes of, admittedly quite surreally enjoyable slow murder sequences happen. the pacing is glacial, the cast are SUPER overdramatic, but not in a fun way…Hell, the killer doll doesnt even start killing till just shy of the halfway point in the movie. A note to future killer doll film makers, if your going to promote your film as having a killer doll in it, DO NOT spend more than a quarter of your movie doing the whole ‘BUT IS HE A KILLER DOLL THO?!?!’ schtick…we all know it IS a killer doll, and if it ISNT a killer doll, we’re all going to be very dissapointed.

Character writing is slim to non, just one note archtypes floating around for the full runtime, the dialogues pretty rough. The tone is inconsistent and lacks any kind of refinement, the act structurings lumpy. this is a rough ROUGH script with not a lot going for it.

Same goes for the direction, barring a couple of the kill sequences, theres just nothing here, directing by numbers 101 for 99% of the runtime, with only the more surreal flickers found within the broader scenes being anything of interest. Same for the cine, its all ultra basic, nothing particularly notable, and the edit. Which, if anything is actually kind of poor.

In honesty? you could watch the last 15 minutes of this film, and get pretty much everything good about this film in one fell swoop. there are a handful of other weird/entertaining bits scattered in the other 63 minutes, but honestly? It’s not worth your time. One i’ll keep on file for my reference. But one im VERY likely to watch again unless its for channel fodder.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/diabolical-inheritance/

One thats been on my ‘to watch’ list for longer than it really should have been. I’ve owned ‘Def by Temptation’ on VHS, DVD and Bluray over the years, and not one copy i’ve owned has ever left its cellophane…until tonight, when I finally DID pop my lovely crystal clear ‘Vinegar Syndrome’ copy in, and im SO glad I did.

The film follow cousins ‘Joel’ and ‘K’. Joel is the last surviving member of his families bloodline, and has decided to enter ministry, as his grandma has told him she foresees a time when he’ll become a world famous reverend who’ll change the world. Joels a country boy used to a slower, simpler way of living, and as his training draws to a close, he decides he wants to ‘test’ himself by going to visit his cousin ‘K’ in New York.

K fully embraces the headonistic lifestyle of a 20 something in downtown NY, he drinks, chases women, parties, blows LARGE quantities of money on fashion and pursuing his dream of being a famous film maker, but first and foremost, hes almost like a brother to Joel. And wants to ensure that his first visit to the big apple is a fun, but safe one.

Enter ‘Temptation’; a vampiric, succubus demon from hell, who stalks the dive bars around NY preying on horny, vulnerable men to enhance her strength and life energy. Temptation is capable of horrendous things, things that she personally enjoys tremendously. and after pulling a few cheaters, adulterers and skeezy types, she eventually finds K, who is VERY much about to become her next victim…until he tells her he has to go home early for the night because of Joels visit the next day…She understands. but keeps that information in mind.

The next day, Joel arrives, and its a fun time for all as K tries to better integrate Joel into the city lifestyle…he even suggests they hit a bar, promising the ‘Tee Total’ Joel that he can just grab a milk if he really wants…they head to the local, and while K sorts some things out, Joel heads in and almost immediately hits it off with a woman who manages to utterly captivate him…that woman, is Temptation.

K laughs it off, thinking Temptation and Joel are pulling some kind of prank on him…but it quickly becomes apparent when Temptation essentially pretends shes never met K and REALLY goes all in to seduce Joel, that these two arnt messing around, and K is simultaineously confused and angry. He tries to vaguely tell Joel this is a bad idea, but he just assumes K is jealous and continues to fall down the rabbit hole…

And after a confrontation between K and Temptation reveals she’s DEFINITELY not of THIS earth…K seeks help to try and vanquish the demon, stumbling on a man named ‘Dougie’ who may hold the key to vanquishing the evil, before she claims her next victim…

I suppose my only disclaimer for anyone getting into this film is, if that particularly aggressive form of late 80s, early 90s fashion and culture is an irritant to you (and I know MANY people for whome Vanilla Ice, The 90s super mario bros movie, MC Hammer and that whole casual minimalist 90s fashion movement is an allergen) you’ll probably be turned off this movie HARD. because its SO steeped in that specific times aesthetic as to be all consuming. Im hit or miss with it, but for me it fell just on the right side, but I could easily see folks being turned off by that alone.

If you do persevere though you’ll find a pretty rock solid film that I went in pretty much blind to and came away largely surprised by.

The scripts a little bit patchy in places, I really enjoyed the core premise, It was kind of what I imagined ‘Fright Night’ was going to be before I watched ‘Fright night’. I like the idea of two people with minimal experience in the unknown, attempting to save someone from that unknown and getting WAY in over their heads on it. but I suppose the biggest issue I have with this one is simply that its quite slow going to begin with.

We spend a lot of the opening of the film getting a feel for ‘Temptation’, who she is, what she does and why she does it. and while I think showing that once or twice in the first act is a good way to set up the threat K and Joel are going to be dealing with, I feel the film goes overboard on it, showing 3-5 killings that are prolonged and, while they’re very well handled, I feel like the film would have benefitted to spread them out a bit more across the runtime because, these arnt brief sequences…They run on for a while, and combining those scenes with a LOT of overexplanation on who everyone is, why they’re doing what they’re doing, while also setting up some of the second act elements, left me kind of struggling to stay focussed on the film because it felt like it was getting itself into a bit of a cyclical rut.

Mercifully; once that first act clears, it has a good momentum going and it hits the ground. RUNNING! blasting through its second and third acts with absolute ease and relishing the story its trying to tell. The pacing past that first act is tremendous, giving the audience just enough to keep it guessing, but never fully giving the whole game away, and I think thats one of the best qualities an ‘unknown evil’ style film can do.

The films absolutely a dark horror piece, but they do throw in some really nice grounded comedy moments here and there. Nothing too overt, but just subtle moments that make you feel like these are real people dealing with something they have no idea how to percieve…So yes, they will use comedy to deflect from the absolute terror from time to time…and I think that offers a really nice contrast to the bleaker moments here, helping to better shape out the script and keep the audience from flavour fatigue.

the characters are all fairly well rounded. everyone involved gets a decent chunk of backstory, they all feel fleshed out enough that you can be invested in them, and care when bad things happen. with even the side characters getting at least SOME history to work with, which I think is a really nice touch. The dialogues Solid too, with a naturalistic flow with only a few scarce moments where I felt like these characters were given lines that, I felt played against type. Joel seems to get the biggest share of dialogue that didnt quite sit right to me personally, but Im not sure if those moments were just because the character is a little bit prone to playing against what we’re introduced to, or if he was just the more likely to get lines that explain things as a result of rewrites.

all in all? barring a slow first act, this is a very nicely crafted, solid piece of work that feels like it had a lot of attention and thought put into it, that kind of surprised me, because it didnt have to be as well written and solid as it ultimately has ended up being.

The directions pretty solid too, James Bond III (Roger moore…) has done a phenominal job bringing a very unique vision to the screen, we have a grungy, colourful and often woozy feeling production on our hands that I think tells the story in a way only James ever could have. I dont feel like a studio grade director or a bigger budget would quite be able to nail that kind of sincere tone that James has managed here with his vision. it showcases 1989 New York in a very distinct way and James clearly worked VERY closely with the crew and cast to ensure that this landed EXACTLY how he wanted it to. its superb in my opinion, and the fact that this was his first AND ONLY film. is just…insane to me. Its WAY too high quality to be someones first attempt at feature making, this should have been a decades long career launching moment. and the fact it wasnt is astounding to me.

The cine is razor sharp, distinct, and uses lighting and smoke play very heavily to really help cement that distinct grungy NY vision. Red is a colour in heavy play here (for obvious reasons) but its used so intensly throughout that it becomes a motif of the film almost immediately. composition is for the most part rock solid, with only a couple of cutaways kind of failing to cut the mustard for me. the effects, for the most part, are absolutley incredible given the budget. Though, I will say there are some particular effects (not to get into too much detail here but its monster effects) that were the only ones to fall totally flat for me, which is a particular shame given that those effects are supposed to be the showstopping ones…instead rather than going ‘oh god! thats terrifying!’, I went, ‘oh god! thats terrible!!!’ Which…which is not the reaction you want for your finale…

Outside of that though, the edits superb, strong cuts, decent understanding of subtext and an attempt at putting meaning across through the medium of cuts and transitions over just telling the audience is a good starting point. Is it the best edit i’ve ever seen? no. but again, its sturdy and more than does the job.

Performance wise, I found myself with a bit of a mixed bag, Kadeem Hardison as ‘K’ I thought was an incredible choice. he really nails that ‘guy in over his head, trying to do the best for the sake of his cousin’ performance about as well as it could be done. he brings a real energy to the performance that I feel only he could deliver, playing the character as nonchalant, but just keeping that intensity of the character rumbling away in the background until the right time to pull it out.

James Bond III as Joel by contrast…im still not 100% sure about, I think he really nails the sincerity of the character, But Joel as a character is quite a complex one, a naive, but sincere ‘best intentions’ type, who over the course of the film strikes out at the fact hes so clealry naive that he tries to front as a totally in control character, who then has to come to terms with the fact that, that isnt really him and channel that naivity and and sincerity into a strength rather than a weakness.

I feel like James struggles to layer that performance, for me; when he ‘strikes out to be confident’ its…not that much different than the tone he gives when he’s trying to play the sincere version of himself. quiet anger is one of the harder performances to give if your not natrualistically that way, and I feel James struggles in his confrontations with K to bring the required energy. thats not to say he doesnt try! but it just kind of results in a more flat, distant performances than one that reads like a character being angry, but unsure of how to channel it. when he nails the deliveries and mannerisms, he ABSOLUTELY nails it…but when he doesnt? its bad. SO bad.

Theres a brief cameo from Samuel L. Jackson here, though, the promo material would have you believe he’s the whole point of the movie. He’s here for about 5 minutes collectively, and he’s fine…this is pre ‘pulp fiction’ and ‘Goodfellas’ but its a bit of an unremarkable turn for him.

The real star of the show for me? is Cynthia Bond as ‘Temptation’ who is able to play mysterious, alluring, and pure PURE evil just…incredibly. the power she puts out on screen makes you feel every venemous line delivery, every scratch, stab, punch, like it was happening to you. a whirlwind performance, and one that I STILL cannot believe did not lead to more horror roles, shes superb in this and worth checking this film out for just her performance alone if nothing else.

And as for the soundtrack? a heady mix of late 80s and very early 90s R&B and Rap, some jazzy tones are thrown in as well, it really helps define the film and the era its playing from, but it is VERY intrusive on the film. I opened with the disclaimer that if you averse to that specific 1989-1991 era of fashion and culture, you may be put off this? this is one of the big reasons why. I dont always think the score suits the film honestly, sometimes its a little to heavy for its own good. But when it does work in the films favour, it really helps give the film a lifeline.

I came away from ‘Def by Temptation’ very pleasently surprised. admittedly, given it had been featured on SO many of those ’20 horror movies’ box sets in the 2000s, my bar for this was on the floor. Which was probably why I was so blown away by just how well made, entertaining and interesting this film was. and how strong I believe the rewatch value on this could be! definitely worth checking out, I could see this pairing up quite well with something like ‘Fright Night’ or maybe as a NY Double header with ‘Jason takes Manhatten’. A fun and intelligent piece. its self aware, and has NO trouble putting across what it wants to say.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/def-by-temptation/

I first saw ‘Jaws’ when I was either 5 or 6 years old. My Dad, who considered this one of the top 3 greatest movies ever made outside of maybe ‘The Exorcist’; decided in his wisdom, in what I later found out was a ‘right of passage’ for many children of a certain age, to just…show me the film totally blind, other than to say it was a movie with a shark in it.

Dear reader…when I tell you that the ‘Ben Gardners boat’ scene saw 5 year old me change state into a pure liquid, that was projected 3 feet into the air and firmly behind the family sofa…and that I remember very little else about my first time watching this film, outside of blurs of screams of terror and the final 20 minutes (once they’d eventually calmed me down) I hope that puts across just how much of an impact this film had on me.

Over the years, Jaws became an irregularly regular watch. I lose track of how many times I watched and rewatched the VHS copy, but when the advent of DVD hit, and Jaws was one of the earlier titles to get a release. Both my dad and me upgraded to digital, and with it, my appreciation grew. years of gunk had been digitally scrubbed from the picture, and with it finally being presented in something approaching a more original aspect ratio, it felt like I’d seen the film for the first time.

As I got older, me and my dad bonded over ‘Jaws’ quoted it regularly, talked about the other (not quite as good) sequels. My Dad wasnt really much of a big talker, but with films? it was another world for him. and it helped to blossom a parental relationship into a genuine friendship.

DVD turned to Bluray, the quality got another massive bump and eventually; I met my partner, and it turns out? Shes Autistic, her specialist interest is Sharks, and ‘Jaws’ is ALSO one of her ‘top 3 greatest movies ever made’ which instantly made her a firm part of the family, and our mutual love for the film has led to some of the finest ‘movie nights’ ive ever had the privalidge to attend.

5 years ago to this day; I got the incredibly lucky chance to see the 4k remaster of this film, with the 7.1 surround mix played to a PACKED cinema where it seems that half the audience were hardcore ‘Jaws’ fans, and the other half had NO idea what to expect. When I tell you, that attending that screening is the closest I’ve personally ever come to a religious experience, and that it reinvigorated and reignighted everything I love about film as a medium, an art, and a lifelong endeavour. I do not say that lightly.

And so, tonight, in its 50th anniversairy year, for what has got to be creeping into the mid double digits. I sat down once again, with a freshly cracked 4k copy of Jaws, with my partner, and an array of Jaws based snacks. and we spent 2 hours in the company of a film that I can best describe as the same sensation of meeting an old and much loved friend after a long absence.

As a rule, I dont give out 5 out of 5’s on the films I review, because I always believe that a film COULD be better, and that; I sincerely dont believe i’ve lived long enough to be able to say with ANY authority what films i’d consider to be ‘faultless’. But goddamnit ‘Jaws’ is as close to a 5 out of 5 as I can give it.

Masterful in all regards is all I can honestly say. Im bias, this films been woven into my life so firmly that I dont feel I can objectively scrutinize it in a way that would feel sincere to me. Everything works perfectly like a well oiled machine, every check and balance is in line. before the Bluray release in 2012(ish) I could have (maybe) been picky on a couple of continuity issues. But even they’ve been corrected now.

Im honestly at a loss. Everythings as close to EXACTLY what I want out of a movie as its physically possible to be. With the only limitation it currently has being that I dont physically often have the time to watch 2+ hour long movies…Which is really more a ‘Me’ problem than anything else, and in some ways, even THAT works in the films favour because it makes it all the more special when I get to clear the diary, get some snacks and reconnect with these characters I quite literally have known for most of my life, in a film that helped me be a better person in the real world…And I honestly cant say theres much of ANYTHING out there thats been as impactful to me as that.

If you havent seen ‘Jaws’ do yourself a favour and go catch it. Even if you couldnt care less about technical ability, scoring, pacing, or any of that stuff. the story and characters alone are beyond anything i’ve personally ever seen on screen…Seriously; go watch ‘Jaws’. Masterpiece is too small a word.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/jaws/1/

Obligatory 40th Anniversairy screening. And what a movie!

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/the-return-of-the-living-dead/3/

A bit of a blind spot in my 50’s ‘Giant Monster’/’Radioactive Creature Feature’ hitlist, I caught ‘Attack of the 50 ft. Woman’ today for the first time. And conflicted is probably the best way I can describe it.

Despite the titling, the titular ‘Giant Woman’ doesnt become a plot element in the film till the 40 minute mark (its a 64 minute long film) and even then, shes only shown in ‘off screen’ or ‘obscured’ interactions, fleetingly, until around 7 minutes off the end of the film when she finally does appear…and doesnt really do very much…In part due to the limitations on the special effects of the time, and in part due to the film predominantly taking place in an arid desert on the outskirts of California. I guess what im trying to say is, if your coming here expecting the giant lady to turn up 20 minutes in; demolishing buildings, throwing guys 150 feet and picking up cars…Your going to be somewhat dissapointed.

Instead, the main plot follows ‘Nancy Archer’ an heiress with a diamond the size of a bar of soap around her neck who, the film establishes, is a recovering alcoholic with mental health issues, who’s been released (under guidence) from a sanitorium, who’s husband is a lying, cheating money grubber who she initially broke things off with, but as the film opens, they’re back together…on shaky grounds.

Her husband Harry, is ABSOLUTELY cheating on Nancy with another woman called Honey. and in the opening of the film Nancy is speeding away from a saloon bar after catching Honey and Harry sharing a somewhat tender moment. while racing through the desert however, Nancy is stopped dead in her tracks by a 30 foot tall spherical ‘satallite’ containing an even taller, unsettling alien being. Terrified, she speeds back into town to tell the cops. Who are convinced she’s relapsed and is on the booze, but humour her and head out to look for the 30-40 foot tall man and his craft…only to wind up empty handed.

Harry relays this to Honey as part of the madness he has to deal with, and Honey nonchalantly suggests getting Nancy re-locked up where she’d probably die of stress anyway…at which point, Harry would be able to claim her fortune and estate and whisk Honey off into a pampered lifestyle…

At first, the Harry is BEYOND dismissive of the idea…but it slowly grows on him…However, before he can really put any kind of plan in motion, Nancy; who by this point is on the verge of a mental breakdown at the fact that noone will believe her, takes Harry and a gun out into the desert one final time to try and find the giant man…and, unsurprisingly, they DO! with HORRIFYING consiquences for Nancy when Harry speeds off leaving her in the middle of the desert with the giant assuming he’s just managed to kill two birds with one stone.

Inoffensive is probably the best way to describe this picture. In terms of ‘Atom Age’ cinema, its not particularly AS bad as some of the absolute drech that this era spat out…AND mercifully it is on the short side…But at the same time, the only thing ‘Giant’ about this film is the scale of the false advertising. I can almost hear a 50s carnival grifter being like ‘WHAT?! Y’said ya wanted a giant woman attacking stuff! and in the last 5 minutes, what happens?!…no refunds.’

The script isnt actually too bad, if you take out the giant lady stuff, its actually a kind of darker picture about a couple planning on bumping off an heiress to steal her estate. brightened up with a few lighter hearted comedy cop moments and ‘local character’ types. the pacing is a little on the slow side, but nothing too pedestrian, the characters are all animate and reasonably lively. the dialogue is a little densly packed, as is the natura of 50s cinema…but its getting more ‘talky’ here than ‘expositiony’ which I think is a nice touch.

the act structuring is a little awkward, the first and third acts seem kind of miniscule compared to the second act, they transition well enough and set up the stalls fine. But once we hit that second act, thats where we seem to find most of the padding and the film kind of settles into an idling level tone wise, where it doesnt seem to ramp up or grow beyond what its already established in the first act. The themes of mental health, alcoholism and the representation of female empowerment here may be a little murky, but for the 50s, its interesting to see a film explore these themes…even if what its trying to say ultimately ends up getting a little lost.

Direction wise, this looks fine, a decent quality studio picture with some almost Lynchian moments peppered throughout (largely around the spacship and alien sequences, and in the more domestic settings) its a good quality production that reminded me of films like ‘The Incredible Shrinking Man’ and ‘The Giant Claw’ (sans the bird the size of a battleship)

the cine is crisp, with some nice light play, good solid shadow work in places, Id have been fascinated to see what this film looked like in colour. The effects work is a little lacking in my opinion, with some of the ‘off screen’ giant limbs looking particularly clunky and awkward. Its the right side of cheese though, so im sure you MST3K fans will find a charm to this one.

The Performances are probably the best aspect of this production with Allison Hayes giving a really solid performance as Nancy here, working a solid range of emotions with a strong physicality…it’s ironically the point where she becomes the ’50 ft. woman’ that we really kind of lose the heart of this production as her dialogue evaporates, and she loses all of that wonderful physicality.

William Hudson as her husband Harry is equally great, playing the slimey cheating husband role really well with some venemous deliveries peppered throughout and a demeanour thats a mixture of frustrated and beyond the point of caring.

These two are backed by a supporting cast who, for the most part, seem to be having fun with their roles, but in a way that doesnt sacrifice the quality of the performance, theres a nice undercurrent of self aware comedy to their deliveries. But also a good level of restraint NOT to turn this into a hamfest. and thats JUST the right kind of tone this thing needed to be the best it can be. with the sheriffs team in particular coming across as likeable and a little hokey, but also clearly still aiming for a performance that isnt grating.

Throw in a fairly generic orchestral ‘WOMP WOMP WOMPPPPP!!’ 50s B-movie soundtrack, and ‘Attack of the 50ft Woman’ is a solid and enjoyable picture thats ultimately let down by the lack of its titular premise. more ladies smashing down towerblocks and kicking cars 100 feet into the air, and this would have been a firm favourite. As it stands? I can see myself definitely revisiting this film in future. But whether my thoughts will improve on a rewatch seem unlikely.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/attack-of-the-50-foot-woman/

The question that ran through my mind as the credits rolled on this film was a simple one. ‘Did the world NEED a modernized remake of ‘Criminally Insane’ done in the style of Rob Zombies ‘Halloween’ with a budget that, bizarrely was likely higher than the original film, but somehow looks cheaper?…and i’ll be honest, I dont think the world did…

This 2016 remake of the original 1975 campy ‘classic’ is pretty much hobbled right out of the gate because they cant commit to a tone. The original film was clearly a campy horror comedy, aimed at being a bit gritty and grimey up front, but running a clearly self aware black comedy streak as an undercurrent…This film by contrast is leading with the grimey gritty vibes throughout…but rather than having the comedy layered into it offering a nice low key contrast to what we’re watching, instead it opts for short bursts of lowest common denominator ‘mandatory comedy’…what do I mean by that? I mean that randomly characters will pop up wearing thrifted bad taste clothes and purposfully bad wigs. occasional scenes will speed the footage up and add goofy music into the back ground. and the actual attempt at jokes or site gags are awful.

I would normally be able to overlook such abject attempts at ‘yuk-yuks’ if it wasnt for the fact that the film makers here have decided to be a bit edgy and have altered the original films plot with a couple of new additions that end up making the whole endeavour feel like a poor taste exercise more than anything else…

So the broad strokes of this film are essentially the key beats of ‘Criminally Insane’ we open in a mental hospital around lunchtime as Ethel is preparing to get her breakfast. However, just as shes about to tuck in, two mean girls steal her breakfast and smash it up, and then an orderly accuses Ethel of making a scene and sends her back to her room to wait for dinner.

While on the way back, one of the mean girls jumps her again and beats her up calling her a ‘fat bitch.’ bruised, Ethel returns to the day room, where a friend of hers gives her a chocolate bar she managed to sneak into the facility via a relative.

Next thing we know…BOOM, a simultaineous rape scene and octaganarian sex scene as Ethel is bound, molested and raped by two orderlies, and a random 60 year old woman has sex with a chef at the hospital. The doctor in Ethels care walks in and catches the orderlies and makes it clear he’s going to disciplin them the next day. But Ethel isnt taking that lying down, and after taking swabs and evidence of the event, she demands the doctor releases her, or she’ll sue the entire hospital into the ground.

The doctor takes some ‘secret bookshelf scotch’ necks a shot and arranges for Ethel to be released into the care of her…I want to say Aunt…because the actress playing ‘Granny’ in this verison is WAY too young to be a granny…in either case Ethel gets back to essentially a trailer park, where shes almost immediately berated for being fat, aaand then…basically the plot of ‘Criminally Insane’ plays out. only with one or two more rape scenes, somehow less gore than the original, less campy comedy, and a 3rd act plot twist that just felt uneccessarily cruel.

I didnt really vibe with this one. In fact, theres only two things I can say I liked, and thats Dixie Gers performance as ‘Ethel’ which I thought was absolutely superb and very much in line with Prescilla Aldens style of performance (honestly, shes a really great Ethel in this) and I can say that the direction and cine is probably some of the best to come out of a ‘Crazy Fat Ethel’ movie…but again, I dont think thats saying much as the bar for most of these movies was on the floor.

The script seems unusually mean spirited for the most part, with all characters involved either undergoing trauma, processing trauma or delivering trauma, I alluded to the fact this felt like a Rob Zombie adaptation of ‘Criminally Insane’ and it really kind of is, the amount of nudity and swearing in this films significantly elevated over the original, the gore is less than the original, but more intense, they’ve decided to give this film a mixture of modernised ‘reimaginings’ of the original ‘Criminally Insane’ score and hard alt rock. everything has a slightly subdued washed out look to it, some of the additional scenes feel unecessarily ‘Art housey’ which again, tracks with ‘Zombies’ random moments where his films suddenly veer into modernised grimey german expressionism by way of David Lynch.

The pacing is significantly worse than ‘Criminally Insane’ because the slight comedy undercurrent is missing…it means we’re basically spending 81 minutes with unlikeable or strange characters being depressed or murderous with no restbite or break. Im not saying they should have gone more farse. But I think theres absolutely a better way to handle this kind of film that would have given it the benefit of a technical boost, while maintaining or successfully translating Nick Millards original tones and directional notes into something actually engaging…as it stands, I dont quite know how they’ve managed it…But they’ve made a film about a woman who murders when she gets hungry…kind of boring.

The excessive rape, nudity and abuse across the runtime sucks what little fun could be left out of this film. Leaving an end product that just…isnt a fun watch. with mixed to poor dialogue, characters with poorly defined motivations, and aspirations that feel above its budget and station.

The direction is pretty basic, again, this thing has had a pretty nice technical boost. Millard had a vision but struggled to realise it. Brian Dorton seems to have the opposite porblem, he can keep on top of his cast and crew fine enough. But his vision just isnt engaging or original to me. It feels cribbed for lack of a better descriptive. and while I feel like he just about gets the cast on track with getting the script out. I just dont feel like this really stands out against any of the other low/no budget films ‘Wild Eye’ have made of this ilk.

The cine and edit are the same, shots hold out for the most part, but they arnt exactly inspiring, and in some cases, attempts to ‘art’ up the place just end up falling flat. The edit does the best it can with what its working with…but even with decent B-roll and coverage, its just kind of hard to make this thing come alive…

Add in that most of the performances are, not particularly enjoyable. The elderly people at the start of the film and Dixie are seemingly the only people who know what type of film this SHOULD be…and try to lead with that, with the film itself working against that style every step of the way…

Ultimatley; if im gonna watch a ‘Crazy Fat Ethel’ movie, im here for the weird cult/campy fun primarily. and the horror secondarily. This, to me, puts the cart before the horse. I can see what they were trying to do here. And I think a ‘straight horror’ take on this, if handled right, could possibly be weirdly compelling…But removing the self awareness from this series, really just leaves us with a pretty generic slasher thats bloated with bar scenes and arguments and very little else…I was not impressed.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/crazy-fat-ethel/

The original ‘Criminally Insane’ (Also known as ‘Crazy Fat Ethel’ is a bit of a personal pleasure of mine. a film that isnt afraid to be what it wants to be, even if what it wants to be is something as simple as an overweight woman with mental health issues who murders when people deny her sweet treats and lil snacks…It was a surreal film make NO mistake, mixing dark comedy elements with a genuinely harrowing subplot about abusive relationships. Compelling viewing im sure you’ll agree…

Then 12 years later, Nick Millard decided there was more to explore with the character…for SOME reason…and on a budget that consisted of a camcorder that was 3 months late on payments, and a half dozen favours from friends and family. Nick made ‘Criminally Insane 2’ and having now watched it for the first time, I can definitely say that it is in fact. moving pictures assembled in some kind of an order…

The plot picks up about 10-12 years after the events of ‘Criminally Insane’ as we reunite with Ethel, once again drugged up in a mental hospital. We then are introduced to two doctors who run the hospital, who have just been given the budget for the year, and its looking like serious cuts are going to have to be made. They decide the simplest and quickest cut would be to release any inmates that havent attacked other residents or hurt themselves in the last 5 years, moving them either to a halfway house, or a lower security hospital. And…given Ethels basically been in a vegetative state for the last 5-10 years, eating small meals and…seemingly rewatching ‘Crazy Fat Ethel’ over and over again in her mind, the doctors decide that she’s a low risk patient and transfer her to a halfway house, care of elderly landlady ‘Hope Bartholemew’.

and…basically, from there, it all kicks off again. With Ethel not getting enough food, or worse, getting BAD food, and slowly but surely picking off the residents of the halfway house…Only…this time it seems like even LESS folks care about all these dissapearing people. as a homicide detective AND Ethels former Doctor are both made aware that Ethel is acting erratic…But both dont really decide to do anything until the final 15 minutes of this 61 minute feature.

And when I say that I sincerely believe that more of ‘Crazy Fat Ethel’ plays in ‘Crazy Fat Ethel 2’ than ‘Crazy Fat Ethel 2’…im not kidding, what we have here is probably somewhere in the region of 25 minutes of footage of Priscilla Alden spacing out to camera or hobbling around slowly trying to murder people, intercut with some of THE worst exposition i’ve heard in a good while, and padded out the WAZOO with ANY scrap of footage they could pull from ‘Crazy Fat Ethel’ but the footage is so low resolution and poor, it looks like its being viewed through smoked glass.

There really isnt much need for a more in depth review than that. the direction and cine is rushed, poorly composed and shot for function over form. Degausser video have done the best they can with the materials provided for the film, but its still riddled with tape faults, juddering, interpolation and the fact that it must have been shot on very cheap low quality tape stock.

The script feels less like an attempt at making a movie, and more like an excuse for Nick Millard to hang around with his buddies for a couple of weeks shooting a movie, and if thats all that is? Then more power to him. I dont think we as audience members to this should be charged full retail so that he could have that priviladge.

There are a dwindlingly small moment of genuinely funny, or sincerely awkward moments. at times it inadvertently winds up feeling Lynchian in its overly long holds, strange compositional choices, unique dialogue and even more unique line delivery. But make no mistake this absolutely should have been a short film, half an hour at most, thats been padded to try and make the base runtime in the quickly developing ‘SOV’ scene at the time.

The performances are just horrendous, and thats one of the few things that works in the films favour, its nice to see Priscilla back in action and she gets the lions share of the best bits alongside the actress who played ‘Hope’ who’s line deliveries could shatter birds…

Throw in a farty synth scoring intercut with music from the first ‘Crazy Fat Ethel’ film…not uniquely used here…just used as part of the padding. and I kind of have to wonder what the point of all this was…I think a rewatch may ultimately decide which side of the fence this one lands on for me…But I dont think where was enough ‘so bad its good’-ness here to warrent repeated watchings…but at the same time, I feel compelled to say that if you enjoyed the first film for its unusual tone and energy, that you’ll probably find something to like in this one too.

But unless you have a strong constitution, absolutely stay away from this thing.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/criminally-insane-2/