The Santa Clause, 1994 – ★★★

It must be coming up to 25 years since I last watched ‘The Santa Clause’ on a murkey VHS over at my cousins place. and honestly, the memories were pretty fuzzy. The irony being the thing I most remember about it, is how little I ACTUALLY remember about it. So sitting down to revisit this one this year I was wondering if this was something I just maybe wasnt in the headspace for back then, or if it was something a bit more remarkable…The answer?…Ehhhhh…

The plot follows somewhat useless, but relatively kind hearted Dad Scott Calvin who, while sharing custody with his son on one christmas eve night, hears a clatter on his roof, goes outside and finds Santa tumbling to the ground. Perplexed the pair make it up to the roof and get into Santas sleigh, completing his rounds, while Scott (who went to check out what the noise was in just his undies and a PJ top) puts Dead Santas clothes on to keep warm, inadvertently triggering a contractual agreement.

See, in this universe, if Santa dies, and you put his suit on. YOU become Santa and set in motion a 12 month Cronenbergian transformation in which your hair turns white and cant be dyed, you grow a permanent beard and mustache which cant be shaved and you gain 200lbs that cant be shed. It also alters your personality, making you more whimsical, jolly and caring. In any other genre this would be the makings of an absurdist body horror piece…but its christmas, so we’re supposed to laugh along as Scott slowly loses his identity, his old life, his job and access to his child for the greater good of…making some kids happy one day a year?…

Honestly? I just found this thing weird. The plot focusses WAY too much on the ‘transformation’ of Scott into Santa, and as I say, in ANY other light this would be horrifying. And is still a bit unsettling here. Because it focusses primarily on that…there isnt really much of an ACTUAL plot to go off…just several b-plot threads they try to mush together into a workable story. Like Scotts kid being fully handed over to his mothers custody, or Santa being arressted and needing to be busted out of jail. Non of these are big enough overall elements to feel satisfying and the film ends quite bluntly and unaturally. Leaving me almost as cold as the snow outside.

The tones all over the place, its trying to be whimsical and goofy while ALSO being thoughtful and a little reflective. but they dont balance it well and it really starts to feel more like a series of vignette pieces than a coherent and intertwining world. The humour is incredibly hit and miss, with a handful of gags raising a chortle…but very little else. The act structurings a bit wonky too, with the first act running for longer than the second, and not really saying or doing much…Honestly if it wasnt for my policy to try my damnedest to see a film from tail to snout, i’d have bailed on this first act for how slow and plodding it is.

Luckily the second act does pick up a bit more of a pace, but at the same time it locks into a repetative one liner gag of ‘HE’S FAT! HE’S FAT BECAUSE HE’S TURNING INTO SANTA!! HA! LOOK! HE HAS MAN BOOBS! LOL!!!’ which wears thin VERY quickly before it eventually dumps us into a third act that feels kind of like it has no place to go really.

The sensible end to this film would have been having Scott as Santa resolving his issues and differences before heading out of the North pole as THE santa. But instead we spend a bit of awkward time following him doing the start of his route, then he gets caught and bust out of jail, then he has to fix things with his ex-wife on the fly, before THEN heading out on his run (again) only to THEN be dragged BACK to the family home because his kid wants to see him.

Theres way too much stopping and starting honestly, and given they’d pretty much already agreed a sequel was a given at this point, to me? it would have made sense to make this film JUST ‘Scott accidentally becomes Santa and has to come to terms with that’ with the sequel actually dealing with the highs and lows of ‘global santa delivery’. Its still a flawed and somewhat nightmarish premise…but at least it would have been consistent.

The direction is pretty solid, its kind of gentle, which I think christmas films should be, but its maybe a little *too* gentle for its own good, to the point that it kind of begins to lose a sense of distinction or identity…it just kind of, exists in the myre of christmas films unique enough to be remembered, but not distinctive enough to be an immediate ‘go to’. the cast directions suffers a same fate, everyones more or less fine, there are some fun deliveries and some decent physical bits…but nothing that really sets it apart from any film made in a 10 year radius of this one coming out…and as such it just kind of blends in with the ‘Jingle all the ways’ and ‘Home Alone 3’s’ of the day.

Also; will just say the decision to 90s-ify the elves and the workshop PAINFULLY backfires. as it dates the film horrendously.

Cine is a little better, its a studio flick so I expect polish and polish this does indeed have. The CG elements are starting to creak a bit in the year of our lord 2024. But its not the worst the era had to offer…Not by a long shot. It does however in places feel a bit more like a tech demo than a movie. with entire scenes seemingly only existing so they can show off how CG ‘warp’ tools work…which is a bit of a shame.

The production also kind of fails to find a colour identity too…with the palette being strangely muted for a christmas film, especially given the aforementioned 90s-esq elves workshop being vivid to the point of garishness…but purposfully muted in post…its weird…

As for casting, Tim Allen is solid as Scott, but it doesnt exactly feel like a stretch for Allen here, who seems to yawn through most of this. Judge Rienhold seemingly was my favourite playing a sickly psychiatrist who slowly loses his marbles over the whole ‘Santa thing’ if nothing else he gets my favourite line delivery in the whole film in the 3rd act…which has got to amount to something.

The soundtracks kind of unmemorable. Christmassy sounding orchestral instrumentals mashed up with 50s christmas classics…and thats about it. I wasnt particularly won over.

I dont think ‘The Santa Clause’ is a BAD production, I just feel like its an inherently FLAWED production. a film that underplays the strengths of its cast, turns a body horror plot into a comedy bit and under directs and doesnt fully deliver on the festive brief.

Its ‘fine.’ As a film, I dont think its unwatchable…far from it. But in many ways thats worse, because it makes it ‘inessential’…and if your christmas movie isnt in the forefront of my mind during the holiday season, then it likely isnt going to be in regular rotation. Its been 25 years since I last watched ‘The Santa Clause’ I fully assume it’ll probably be the same amount of time till the next screening.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/the-santa-clause/

Drive Angry, 2011 – ★★★★

Every so often, I decide to check out a Nick Cage movie purely because, I dont think I have a proper measure of the guy yet. and no matter how many movies I see with him in, I never quite feel any closer to figuring out if he’s some kind of cult cinema genius, or someone who just knows a good grift when he’s onto one.

His turn in ‘The Wicker Man’ makes me queasy. His turn in ‘The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent’ showed me that he at least has SOME degree of self awareness. and ‘Drive Angry’ (A film I took a chance on a few years ago on a whim) is one of those films that I feel really played into his strengths as a performer.

I’ve seen this one best described as a ‘direct to video’ action flick. But with a budget. and thats pretty much what this is, the plot has Cage playing a demon on the hunt for a baby believed to be his long lost relative, while another shady demon going only by ‘The Accountant’ hunts him down to return him to hell. With a down on their luck Floridian woman in on the ride after Cage’s character saves her from an abusive boyfriend.

I dont know how much nuance I can deep dive into really with this one if im being honest. Its a big dumb action movie where something is either being exploded, shot or shagged every 7-10 minutes or so. Cage plays a wonderfully cool and distant character with some AMAZING line deliveries on the cards. This is a film that knows pretty much immediately what its supposed to be, and for better or worse plows STRAIGHT into that genre violently.

The plotlines ludicrous, the pacing is breakneck, the tone is messy, but fun. The ending kind of fizzles a little bit and the characters are all paper thin. but this really isnt trying to win you over with story. its trying to win you over with scenes like Nick Cage fighting 10-12 armed men in a motel room while he has sex with a woman AT THE SAME TIME. AND drinks bourbon…AT THE SAME TIME.

The directions fine enough, I have no complaints other than the breakneck pacing does kind of make it feel like your being thrown around a fair bit, which if your not in the headspace for that, can be problematic.

Theres also several VERY ropey CG pieces here which have not aged well and take you out of the action. This film also came out around the time stereoscopic 3D was becoming a thing, so we have plenty of gratuitous ‘depth’ play, that…on a 2D tv looks weird and feels forced.

The cine is fine enough, though a little over simplistic (it feels like someone REALLY wanted to be Edgar Wright here) and the grungey colour scheme doesnt exactly lift it up…Im actually quite dissapointed about that, with a more vivid and colour led palette, this could have really gone against the grain of the time and been quite interesting.

The editing is seizure inducing in places and feels a little thrown together which is a shame. I feel like it could have maybe done with one more pass through on cuts, and some of the effect plugins used are generic built into the software ones that stand out like a sore thumb.

Performances are fine, Im going to celebrate any film that has Nick Cage playing an aloof demon alongside Tom Atkins as a sheriff trying to take him in (some of the best lines and physical acting come from this pairing) the rest of the cast are a little generic, but fine enough.

Honestly? I dont really know WHY this film bombed, other than I think it may have been targeting the wrong audience. this is 90 minutes of sex, stunts and explosions with enough of a plot to just about hold it together, I think it does what its trying to do better than most coherently plotted action films. and the casting really is the cherry on the cake for this one in my opinion.

I’ll happily watch ‘Drive Angry’ again, almost certainly so…It may not be for a little while as I need to calm down after so many gunfights…but I absolutely will!

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/drive-angry/1/

It’s Flashbeagle, Charlie Brown, 1984 – ★★★★½

Simply put, my favourite Peanuts short. Is it coherent? No. Is it well animated? not particularly. But the music, tone and humour in this thing trumps pretty much every other special i’ve seen to date. I am absolutely biased about this one because I grew up with it on video tape (and now DVD) I own the soundtrack on vinyl for gods sake.

But the charm, weirdness and bewilderment this special gives off (not to mention the pure clean cut 80s ness of the whole thing) I just find utterly irrisistable. Its really something unique for the time, and I always try to find time for it whenever I can squeeze it in!

FLASHBEAGLE!

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/its-flashbeagle-charlie-brown/