TYTD Reviews

After ‘Camp Blood: First Slaughter’ I didnt think it was possible for the ‘Camp Blood’ franchise to really sink much lower. I mean…’First Slaughter’ was and is widely considered to be one of Mark Polonia’s worst movies…and when your the WORST MOVIE that MARK POLONIA ever made…well there isnt really anywhere else for you to go but up honestly.

And yet! Dustin Ferguson has legitimately pulled a ‘Hold my Beer’ here with ‘Camp Blood 4’ a film that quite literally is BARELY a film.

Heres the full breakdown of the whole movie, I cant really spoil anything, because there IS nothing to spoil:

*Its established in the first 5 minutes that the film takes place 3 years after ‘Camp Blood First slaughter’ and we open with a couple going into the woods, having sex and get murdered.

*from minutes 7 to 31 we then follow ‘Raven’ a young woman, as she wakes up, cleans herself up, gets dressed, watches the news and hears about the grizzly murders that took place the night before, feeds her cat, pops a shirt on and walks to a local record store/thrift store/bar. she goes through the merch, walks home and takes a phone call from her boyfriend kyle who asks if shes ready for the ‘concert tonight’. while two other girls in a different house put makeup on, walk to Ravens house, head inside and make a pot of coffee.

We then see a man put a clown mask on and pace around a shed before going for an extended walk in the woods. our gang get into a car and drive to a local gas station and its here…THIRTY ONE MINUTES into this 71 minute feature that the ACTUAL plot of the movie is mentioned. This gang of 30 somethings playing teens are going to a rock concert a couple of towns over, and they plan to stay overnight at ‘Camp Blood’ to save them having to drive all day on the day of the concert. The other customers at the gas station try to warn them about ‘Camp Blood’ but the gang dismiss them as weirdos, pay for their stuff and get back on the road.

Minutes 32 to 45 feature a montage of the clown killer wandering around in a concrete shed, and footage of the gang in the car, on the road talking about the legend of ‘camp blood’ while stock footage from ‘Camp Blood 3-2’ plays in the background, before they arrive at the camp at the 45 minute mark, walk in the woods for 3-5 minutes and FIFTY FOUR MINUTES into this 71 minute feature, our group have a tent set up in the woods.

we then have 10 minutes in which they gather around a campfire and learn about the ‘Camp Blood Clown Killer’s origin (which is now COMPLETELY different from the last 2 origin stories made for him) the gang smoke some weed, a couple go off to make out and have sex. and then at the hour mark, it suddenly jump cuts and two of the women have been pulled away to the concrete shed, ones dead, and one gets called a ‘slut’ by the clown killer, who then murders her to.

Bearing in mind, there is now only 5 or so minutes left of the movie because this film has 6-7 minutes worth of end credits. Our clown killer does another walking montage, kills one of the gang when he goes to take a leak, kills another when he goes out looking for the guy who went to take a leak, kills the GIRLFRIEND of the guy who went to take a leak leaving 2 girls running in the woods for 2 minutes before they reveal who the killer is, and its someone who ‘Raven’ knows, but who wasnt even really in the movie. the film then ends on a ‘To Be Continued’ slide.

the AUDACITY of this film to do that. given that AT LEAST 50 minutes of this 71 minute film is extended walking shots or stock footage. is frankly brain addling…I dont really know how to explain it much better than that. when the ‘To Be Continued’ slide popped up, I genuinely thought they were joking. But they’re not.

The scripts absolutely atrocious. they say that, on average 1 page of a script should equal roughly 1 minute of screentime. if this was the case ‘Camp Blood 4’ had a 71 page script with at LEAST 60 of those pages being blank. I cannot stress enough how LITTLE happens in this movie. its astonishing to me to even consider that they charged money for this release given how little ACTUALLY happens.

the characters are all super non descript, they dont have any kind of unique personality traits or identifiers, I only know Raven because they write her name in big letters on a note to her in the opening of the film. The dialogue is awful, the pacing is quite possibly the worst i’ve ever seen in a movie, the tone is seemingly set to ‘air conditioner’.

I cant comment on the directional style of this film, because despite watching this on a crisp 1080p bluray copy, the decision has seemingly been made to ‘black crush’ the entire movie, and blow out all the highlights…as a stylistic choice. What this basically means is that any scene set during the day, the natural light is basically just pure white…it looks like someones dropped a nuke on screen its blinding white light with only items in the immediate forefront visible and anything with a darker tone being crushed to the point it just looks pitch black.

When they shoot at night, because they’ve ‘black crushed’ the whole movie. your literally just watching a black screen with an occasional flicker of movement whenever someone wearing white runs past the screen, because any colour darker than white is basically black because of the stylistic choices.

the handful of scenes that are viewable, are basic. very VERY basic. rudamentary scenes, lots of shakey cam footage, levelled off flat profile mid and wide shots. whenever they cut to the stock footage from ‘Camp Blood: First Slaughter’ they’ve put a SUPER ugly ‘film effect’ style filter over the footage, presumably to differentiate it from this movie…but it makes no difference because…being honest, if your more than 3 films into the ‘Camp Blood’ franchise, your pretty well acquainted with them.

the cine is awful, its either locked off tripod shots that do NOT push the boundaries in any way shape or form (my kingdom for a high or low angle shot) OR! its hand held shakey has hell footage that, when combined with the black crushing, is basically unwatchable. Composition of shots is dire, they didnt bother getting much in the way of B-roll, its long, cross faded shots of people walking for about 55 minutes. And its awfully edited footage of people walking at that.

The performances are almost non existent. Because the microphone quality on the shoot was so dire, most of the film is dubbed over with royalty free stock music that is just…THE most generic sounding music i’ve ever heard in my life. When the cast DO have lines if they arnt talking directly into the camera, its muffled and obscured making it VERY hard to figure out what they’re actually saying.

The physical performances are stiff, pretty lifeless, they dont have much in the way of animation or life behind the eyes. and I damn near bust a gut laughing when Raven finds out who the killer is, and her reaction to this killer (who she knows) butchering half a dozen of her best and closest friends…is the same reaction I give when my local pizza place stiffs me on the free soda promotion…its not a measured response is what im getting at.

‘Camp Blood 4’ Makes Ray Dennis Stecklers Porn era look like Martin Scorsese in his prime. a DIABOLICAL work, the fact Sterling Entertainment looked at this and gave it the nod through to sell for fulll retail price is the only real fright you’ll find in this thing.

TRUELY a poor experience on every single level. this isnt even entertainingly bad, its cheap, low effort, low/no gain cinema. and Im still kind of stunned it ever left Sterling Entertainments hard drives.

AVOID.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/camp-blood-4/

The cinematic equivilent to a loud and aggressive shirt at a funeral. ‘How The Grinch Stole Christmas’ has one thing and one thing alone going for it. and that’s Jim Carrey in arguably some of the best practical effects makeup that the 00’s ever produced. Everything else about this incarnation of the classic Dr. Seuss story made me feel physically and mentally unwell. There are a few reasons for that, and we’ll start with the basics.

‘How the Grinch stole christmas!’ was published in 1957 and clocks in at 67 pages long. Its a picture book aimed at teaching children about the importance of humanism and socialist practices. Its basically an alagory for the much needed life lesson that, as a society, humanity depends on the kindness, warmth and love within the hearts of every man, woman, NB and child to ensure we thrive as a species and that noone will ever feel alone, isolated or ‘without’.

In the book, the grinch is an isolated individual who believes that the ‘Whos’ are all talk, that REALLY they SAY that they’re all about ‘the spirit of christmas’ and helping each other and mans humanity to man. But if they DIDNT have their instruments, or their feasts or their decorations, they’d revert to Grouchy, angry gremlins who were no better than The Grinch. Hence why he formulates the plan to steal All the christmas fodder from Whoville to prove a point, and hence why…when the Who’s DONT react the way the Grinch expects, and that…without even hesitating, they all leave their houses to sing and dance together as a community on christmas morning. The Grinch realises that all we have is love, warmth and a sense of community and he changes and joins them.

Its a simple, but very effective message that was pretty perfectly realised in the 1966 adaptaiton of the book. it wasnt perfect. But it was pretty close.

The 2000 adaptation though? seemingly almost ENTIRELY misses the point of the book, and on pretty much every level either disturbed, disgusted or violently tried to put me off.

so…GONE is basically all of the ‘mans humanity to man’ stuff…The Who’s in this adaptation are consumerist pigdogs who are ONLY interested in buying and sending presents and trying to ‘get one up on the neighbours.’ Originally good, decent folk who had gifts simply because they could afford it. THESE Who’s are narcessistic, egotistical aggressive, shouty, they bully people. and are dismissive of the stuff they own…but not in a ‘it doesnt matter, we have each other’ kind of way…In a ‘EH, I can afford 20 christmas trees, i’ll just grab another one’ kind of way.

Its basically a fundamental problem, that this version of the story has a thick meaty slab of capitalism running right through the middle of it…in a story that inherently rails AGAINST capitalism as a means of humanity.

for some reason, they decided to rework the original story, centering the film around the relationship between the Who’s and the Grinch and more specifically a newly written relationship between Cindy Lou-Who and the Grinch where, after a chance encounter at the post office, Cindy Lou becomes OBSESSED with trying to bring the Grinch into HER version of christmas…Which I do rather feel misses the point, because the point of ‘The Grinch’ isnt to assimilate him into christmas, its to make HIM understand that Christmas is people, and people have unending resevoirs of love and compassion.

They decide equally to give the Grinch a full backstory, explaining how he was adopted by christmas fuelled ‘biddys’ as a baby, and how he had a love called Martha who was ‘snatched away’ by a bully who abused the grinch until he left Whoville. Which…I dont really think we needed that honestly…

They add a strange subplot about a love triangle with the Grinch, Martha and the bully (who’s now the mayor of Whoville)…They have subplot where Cindy Lou invites the Grinch down to whoville for a christmas party, only for it to turn out to be organized just to bully the Grinch some more.

Not to mince my words here, but the Who’s in this film…are arseholes. They prove the Grinch right on pretty much every turn in this film, and they get an undeserved ending when the Grinch brings all the gifts back.

The Grinch himself here isnt exactly a great representation of the character either. in the books, he’s a wicked but animated character who’s cunning first and foremost, and willing to have amuse himself with a bad joke if the mood takes him, but he’s predominantly on a mission to prove his point. The Grinch here…is basically Jim Carreys interpretation of the Grinch…which here means we’re subjected to prolongued periods of flouncing, gurning, pop culture references, random noises and improv. Which is great…if your just wanting to see Jim Carrey do his thing…but not so great if you want a reasonable live action adaptation of a much loved childrens book/animation.

Throughout the whole film, I kind of realised that, what probably would have worked better, would have been to put Carrey in the makeup and jsut have him do a standup set in the full grinch makeup for a couple hours, film it, and then sell it as a live show, because. I really liked his performance, he didnt get the character particularly well…But I liked Jim Carrey, and I’d have paid good money to see him just do an hour and a halfs set while he pretends to be the Grinch, without the narrative of the film dragging him down.

Its fundamental issues that plague this film. the tones all over the place, the pacings wonkey and unappealing, the ending isnt satisfactory because (as mentioned) I dont feel it was earned. Non of the characters are particularly likeable, and in some cases are just downright grating. the act structuring is off the dialogues awkward and weird, with only Carreys stuff and the improv lines being anything above ‘tolerable.

The directions just about technically sound, but this has got to be the UGLIEST creative vision i’ve seen put to screen, its like those horrifying meme images that float around online where they take a cartoon character like Homer Simpson and show what he’d look like ‘if he was a real person’ all the houses, the street sets, EVERYTHING looks garish, ugly and warped in the worst way possible, the Who designs, sometimes work, and sometimes look like nightmare fuel. The Grinch is probably the only solid costume in the whole thing and…with over 2 hours of makeup application behind it. its not surprising it looks amazing.

Visually, this thing kept reminding me of ‘Batman Forever’ which is NOT where you want the audiences mind to go to when your looking for creative inspiration. Howards direction of the cast is reasonable, but the scripts so unlikeable its kind of hard to really make ANYONE feel like someone I could warm to.

The cine is garish, hazy and awkward. compositions are messy, for some reason they made the sets and characters with a clear idea of using strong and harsh vivid colours, complimented with strong block coloured lighting…but then when it came to grade it in post, they muted it all. Which is horrifying because theres CLEARLY so much that could have been done with the grade to make it more interesting…But no..they just slapped a grey/brown filter over the top of the colours and cranked it up. Not helped either they seem to have either applied some kind of ‘hazy’ filter in post or done the old vasaline trick on the lens because everything has this slight smeared ‘woozy’ look to it, I described it to my viewing buddy as it feeling like you’ve just woken up from a deep ambien fuelled dream to find yourself on the floor of a casino in vegas on a bachalor party full of people you dont like…thats also on fire.

The edits a mess as well, its inconsistent, they cut WAY too much to seemingly pointless shots, the B-roll is WAY too overused. Its just…ugly. For lack of a better word.

throw in some of the worst songs i’ve heard in a christmas movie (and thats saying something) and you have one of the most garish, unappealing loud, screechy vomits from hollywood this side of the century.

Oh! yeh! thats another problem with this film, its unrelenting. This film made me think about ‘what makes a good christmas film?’ and I think I’ve cracked it. The best christmas films utilise a simple (relatable) idea, maybe have a few kind of crazy moments throughout to help keep things interesting, but focus on a small, but likable cast with a strong message relevent to the season. things like ‘Elf’, ‘National Lampoons Christmas vacation’ and ‘Home Alone’ all have big crazy moments dotted throughout, but they never stray from a core message, likeable characters and simple scenarios.

The reason they do that, is because christmas (for many) is a nightmare of stress, having to remember a million things and trying to balance a budget. You dont want something aggressively in your face, you dont want something complex or overly involved because the film needs to be as relevent to the mom/dad whos got christmas presents to wrap, a turkey to baste and a christmas play to get to…as it is to the ‘nogged up’ uncle or aunty who’s full of fruit cake and can barely remember their own name. its got to be simple, because people at that time of year can only just about handle ‘simple’…you can HIDE deeper meanings and easter eggs in there. but its my belief that you cant overtly make a complex, widely loved chrsitmas movie .

This films the exact opposite of the above. a multi threaded colourful vomit of a picture that screams, bangs and screeches its way through nearly TWO HOURS of runtime. goes nowhere really, says…NOTHING…really. its not good in my opinion…its not ‘fun’ in my opinion. and I likely wont be watching this one again.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sh4kz_zhyo

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/how-the-grinch-stole-christmas-2000/

As the late great Terrance Dicks once said ‘You can have an original idea, but it needn’t be *your* original idea.’ 2022’s ‘Hundreds of Beavers’ manages something of a rare feat, taking the old silent slapstick comedies of the 1910s and 20s marrying them up to the ‘Merry Melodies’ sensibility and producing an offspring that has vibes of ‘Forbidden Zone’ but with less of the snark and a much more charming and simplistic edge.

The plot? a story of an applejack maker who accidentally burns his orchard in a drunken outing and winds up buried in the perma frost awakens and has to start a new life as a furtrapper to make ends meet. Initially striving just to find a meal, he seems to be all but done for, when he finds a local merchant (and by extension…a local merchants daughter with whome he falls madly in love) and in an attempt to ‘woo’ the young lady, he sets about becoming a professional furtrapper, eventually becoming an apprentice to a professional, before striking out on his own when unforutnate circumstances arise.

And this thing has Buster Keatons DNA running right through it. Its a largely silent film that has a reliance on monosyllabic utterances and sound effects to guide the narrative. But when I say that this film has a creative TIDALWAVE sitting just below its surface I very sincerely mean that. This thing is NUTS. absolutely 100% doolally tap, its positively exploding with ideas, whether its slapstick gags, visual pieces, small jokes in the background its just…TEEMING with ideas and full of life (ironic of course given 99% of the cast in this movie are dressed in full mascot costumes).

The act structuring is strong, it manages to tell a simple story very effectively, the comedy is razor, if you have ANY appreciation for physical comedy you’ll probably love this, the tone is wonderful coming across as wonderfully charming, but just the very VERY feintest slither of darkness running under the current to act as a welcome contrast.

The characters say very little, but the film goes to great lengths to make them feel fleshed out, to give them personality VIA their physicality. even the animals in this through the power of editing and simply the way they stand seem to emit IMMEDIATE personalities.

with a solid act structuring, decent pacing and a wonderfully robust tone. I had very little to dislike about the script side of this movie, If I was splitting hairs, I think it could have stood to have been 10 minutes shorter, but honestly? when a film is THAT alive behind the eyes and has a seemingly ENDLESS well of creative input to pull from, even if it did stay a little longer than expected…I didnt much mind because the creativity shone through.

Direction is pretty rock solid too, largely sticking to the kind of shot types that would have existed in 20s and 30s cinema, the film drenches itself in that style and era of film making, which I think is an inspired choice given its not particularly a period of time that gets much love from mainstream audiences these days. Here? it comes acorss as authentic and important to the narrative to present the film in this way. the aesthetic choice to present the film in black and white, and even the film posters choice to frame itself in a similar way to 1963’s ‘Its a mad mad mad mad world’ automatically puts you in the mindset that your going into something grand and hilarious. and on that front it doesnt dissapoint.

Which is especially impressive given this film was predominantly shot on greenscreens and during several winters. how they’ve managed to bring so much to life in a medium that I frequently decry as being so dead is honestly a marvel for me.

same goes for the cine, where every shot seems to be some kind of great multi layer world build using stock photographs and manipulated images overlayed. the black and white, rough and ready feel of this presentation really helps hide a lot of the rougher layering work, but its that kind of creative choice that makes the end product look and feel so good!

and it absolutely CANNOT be overstated enough how amazing the editor on this project is. With a film like this, timing is integral, one bad cut, and the jokes ruined. here? it doesnt let up for a second…and while, as mentioned, I feel like maybe a couple of scenes could have been culled to just make this thing a tighter package over all. there is not a SINGLE scene that has a missed beat. EVERY joke lands with impeccable timing. its a miracle work quite honestly, and whoever cut this is clearly very knowledgable about this era of film making and clearly in a fair society they’d be heading to hollywood sooner rather than later.

throw in some wonderful performances that really cement this thing in place as being a highly animate and enaging picture and a soundtrack that mixes public domain tunes with classics from the DeWolf library. and ‘Hundreds of Beavers’ is a classic in the making, make no mistake. If you have any appreciation for ‘old style’ comedy, im sure this will more than impress. Definitely not one to miss, check it out.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/hundreds-of-beavers/

Simply put, one of my favourite movies of all time, the tale of two out of work actors slowly killing themselves on meths and drugs, who decide to get a break from their grim reality by heading to the countryside is as captivating the first time as it is the 10th.

The scripts an absolute delight, witty, carefully crafted, wonderfully structured. its infinitely quotable, has complex and interesting characters, Its paced perfectly and wonderfully plays melancholy against bittersweet drama and comedy. all set within the crumbling backdrop of late 60s london. A time when it was all change, and the perfect framing device for our characters. I beg you to watch this film and not well up towards the end.

Bruce Robinson was early in his career here as a director, but quite literally shot his magnum opus here. an ASTOUNDING work for an experienced director, letalone one new to the craft. Its got a clean, clear and stark vision realised in all its nicotine stained glory by a highly skilled crew. and the sets (designed my Doctor who’s own Michael Pickwoad) are frankly gorgeously hideous in every sense of the word.

the cine is rich, lushious and astounding, expert composition, wonderfully realised with vibrant colours that really bring the rainy drear of little england to life. All wrapped in an astounding edit that cuts EXACTLY when it needs to and isnt afraid to experiment.

As for the performances? this is (in my opinion) the career highlight of Richard Griffiths, Paul McGann and Richard E. Grant. all TOTALLY and UTTERLY watchable, all giving there absolute all to the performances. Simply put, they are the characters here, noone else would even touch the sides.

and all this gorgeous grottiness is wrapped up in a frankly delightful and unique score thats perfectly placed and more than punctuates the film effortlessly.

In short; I sincerely believe this is one of my all time favourite movies. At the minimum its in the top 10, quintessentially british. I always try to introduce people to this film, as I think its as potent today, as it was 37 years ago. Go watch ‘Withnail & i’ if you havent already. Its Incredible.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/withnail-i/

Watched on Saturday May 11, 2024.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/jack-frost-2-the-revenge-of-the-mutant-killer-snowman/1/

A good solid finale to the ‘Hey Folks!’ Series, and not much more to say than that. Is it the best of the hunch? No. Does it repeat ads from previous volumes? Yes. Did *I* have a problem with that? No…not really.

It’s a good mix of seasonal and regional intermission segments. It’s a pretty solid mix, and probably wouldn’t be a bad starting volume ironically.

The only fault I had with it was the strange way it ends…with some kind of glam flamboyant fashion show running in slow motion with classical music playing over it…a bit out of place…but that’s ‘Something Weird’ for yer.

I’d say this one was worth checking out.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/hey-folks-its-intermission-time-vol-6/

The penultimate edition of the ‘Hey Folks!’ Series and it’s still overall pretty enjoyable. A good solid range of intermission ads are on here, but by this point there is a LOT of repetition of intermission ads with *slight* regional variations. If your watching for new stuff, you’ll be dissapointed, but if your here solely for the vibe, you’ll probably get along fine with this one as much as previous entries…

Oh…also, this one ends with about 10-15 minutes of random countdown title cards that were seen in previous editions and a final 5 minutes of just slowly tracked photographs with incidental music. Which was a bit of a shame, as, while it wasn’t something featured on the other sets…it did very much feel like an attempt to pad the runtime to get it in line with the other volumes…

Like I say, this isn’t a bad entry at all…its just not my favourite.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/hey-folks-its-intermission-time-vol-5/

Six years after the original ‘A Thousand and One Erotic Nights’ Some absolute maverick decided that a sequal was all but inevitable? Im not entirely sure WHY they did what they did…But..they did! and its pretty much as bad as you can imagine.

So…lets get the best net plus from this film out of the way up front! theres not as MUCH ‘Brown-face’ in this film as the original! there is still a couple instances of it, but hey! at least they’re making the concious effort to be at least a *little* bit less racist…right!?…right?….

Thats where the good news begins and ends. As this films essentially simultaineously a prequel, and a retcon of the original film. Taking place before the events of ‘A Thousand and One Erotic Nights’ But airlocking the subplot about the Sultans wife cheating and him deciding to strangle his harem on a nightly basis.

Instead; this film takes place in the past, and deals with a period of time where sex was outlawed in the kingdom because the Sultan was struggling to get aroused by anything. So, his personal assistant holds a contest in the kingdom to find the right woman to give the Sultan his Mojo back.

And…thats basically the bulk of the film, on a single ‘white void with a palm tree’ set, women engage in sexual activity in front of the Sultans staff, and eventually 3 of them get chosen…and then its whittled down to one. Thats the movie. theres very brief linking narrations to set up each sex scene. But its basically just sex scene after sex scene with very little real meat to hold things together.

The scripts paper thin, the pacings repetative and quite boring, the films leaning HARD into comedy…but its cringey cartoony style comedy which really frustrates the mood the films trying to set for itself. It cant decide on a tone, so it just decides to do whatever it wants in between the sex scenes.

The direction itself is flat, fairly lifeless. The film has an oral fixation for most of the runtime, which basically translates on screen to 95% of the shots being varients on closeups of the cast doing the do…with no real scene structuring or engaging choreography to help sell the scenes. It’s mechanical, it feels cold quite honestly.

The edit is sluggish and repetative as well, long shots cutting between a 2 cam setup is about as good as this thing gets, its a dead behind the eyes production that really fails to deliver on much of anything it promises.

The ONE thing that really made the last film just about rise to a standard was the quality of the set design and some of the transitions between scenes. No such luck with that here, were basically down to a couple of cardboard 3 wall sets and a white void scene. The films so cheap it couldnt even affoard new stock footage, and instead just nicks the stock footage from the first film, DIRECTLY FROM the first film.

The performances are cheesy, awkward and unarousing. The physicality is missing any kind of naturalism. its underwhelming at best, and downright boring at worst.

This HAD to be a cash in. Theres no other way it could have been anything else. and a dire one at that. definitely one to avoid.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/a-thousand-and-one-erotic-nights-part-ii-the-forbidden-tales/

Hot off the heels of ‘Reanimator’ Stuart Gordon and Brian Yuzna ran with the momentum built up from their previous picture straight into another Lovecraftian tale, and the results are ‘From Beyond’. A nightmarish tale of ‘the other’ shown in the kind of disgustingly fascinating way that only the combo of Gordon and Yuzna really can pull out of these kinds of productions.

The plot follows Dr. Crawford Tillinghast, a physics professor working alongside one Dr. Edward Pretorius. A renowened physisist who believes that we as beings are simply a single visible layer of a multi dimensional existence. We can only see our layer (humans, animals etc…) and each other respective layer around us is trapped within their own confines…BUT! By stimulating the pineal gland (drink every time THAT glands mentioned…) you can open a theoretical ‘3rd eye’ that’ll allow you to see into the layer adjacent to ours…and the horrifying beings that lie beyond.

Naturally, their first full trial on this results in Pretorius being decapitated and Crawford desperately and horrifyingly trying to convince a group of doctors that he DIDNT murder his mentor, and that there REALLY IS sentient life existing in the same space as us, just on a different layer of reality. Naturally, he’s committed.

Its only when one Dr. Katherine McMichaels enters the scene, that she decides to take Crawford at his word, asking for him to be released into her care and under the supervision of one detective Bubba Brownlee. McMichaels returns Crawford back to the house where the experiments took place, in part in an attempt to get him to relive what she believes was a murder, so that she can finally write him off as a crank, and in part to better understand the Penial studies that Dr. Pretorius was researching.

As you can imagine, both McMichaels and Brownlee are astounded to discover that Crawford WASNT making it up, and after firing up the machine to prove his theories, the pair are now won over that we are not alone on this dimensional plain…Unfortunately revving up the machine brings with it a terrible consiquence, as; on the other side of the void, Dr. Pretorius lives, and has taken on a new form in line with that dimensions reality…and with it he brings untold horrors beyond our comprehension.

This reviews going to be a bit of a love in, because really, theres very little I disliked about this one, The script is wonderfully dark, acidic has a nice bleakness to it which is married up to a thin but much needed layer of campy comedy, the characters are all really well rounded, the story is compelling, interesting and unique. the dialogues delectable and it ends about as well as it could end.

My only mild gripe here honestly is with the pacing, and in particular; the pacing in the 3rd act. The film opens VERY strong reminding me of ‘The Asphyx’ (1972) as we set up our characters, scenarios and locations, its a masterstroke work form Gordon and Yuzna because it tells you enough to get on board, but not enough to make you feel truely comfortable with whats going on.

The second act runs with that momentum, but there is a feeling that things are beginning to bed in a little bit. A big thing with movies like this is that, the ‘Unknown’ is the seller of the picture. The more you know about the ‘Unknown’ the less scary/interesting the film becomes and the more it turns into a technical exercise. I feel like they manage to keep *enough* of the other dimension here a secret to still give it a real sense of mystery…But at the same time, they do let enough go here that I started to feel comfortable. Which for movies like this? isnt good.

SO! they throw in a 3rd act curve ball and move the action to a different location. And its at that point that I think the film kind of frustratingly blows its stack. the pacing really slows down as we have some extensive dialogue segments which try to rationalise to the existing characters something we already really know as viewers. theres a lot of shots of people semi unconcious or tied to beds which I feel drag, and the immediate ‘threat’ thats present in the 3rd act is a bit of a damp squib for me. Personally, i’d have really trunkated those scenes to help keep the pacing nice and tight, but I appreciate this thing was already running to a borderline feature runtime at an hour and 26…So I cant be too hard on it. In either case once the action moves back to the core location, things get back into a decent groove and it ends strong…So…imperfect, but solid is probably a good thing here…

As for the direction and cine? its rock solid here. No complaints at all from me, it has ‘Empire Picture’ vibes running through it like a name through a stick of rock. its vivid, colourful has a sharp and focussed creative vision at the healm, its probably one of the best shot 80s US horror movies. and I dont make that asertion lightly.

Gordon seems to know exactly what to show, and how often to show it. and the end result is a film that left me desperately wanting more, but knowing it’ll forever be unknown. Composition work is strong. I was stunned to find out that ‘Screaming’ mad george wasnt behind the prosthetics on this one, as the special effects work is truely astounding for its time. theres a stylish use of purples and blues throughout, and the sequence building is procise, curated and carefully managed. It could well be both Yuznas and Gordons ‘Masterpiece’.

The performances are top tier too, Jeffery Combs as Crawford is astoundingly well handled, I love most films Combs turns up in, but here he gives a full and well rounded performance delivered with FULL and total conviction. I would argue given all the various effects makeup he had to go through in this film, that it was likely the performance of his career. He’s superb in this.

Offsetting Combs’ sometimes neurotic performance we have a fun appearence from Ken Foree playing Bubba, he’s clearly here either because he liked the absurdity of the script, they were paying well, or both. Because his perforamnce here is a ‘kid in a candy shop’ vibe that doesnt relent for the full runtime. You can clearly tell he’s enjoying his time on set. and he brings some much needed levity and ‘coolness’ to the films organized chaos.

Balancing the duo and completing the trio Barbara Crampton as Katherine ping pongs between the two styles, attempting to remain cool, calm and collected in the face of the unknown, while simultaineously succumbing to its overwhelming drives and compulsions. She gets some of the best scenes in this movie, comes across as believable and is the final piece of the puzzle that makes this film as good as it is. And im not just saying that because she spends a significant chunk of the films runtime in a leather dominatrix outfit.

I have a bit of an issue with Empire/Full Moon film scores. I find they all sound very samey. So my feedback here isnt going to be particularly insightful. But the best enthusiasm I can muster for it is ‘Its appropriate for this kind of film, but it absolutely could have been better’ It punctuates the film about right…But I feel ‘Reanimator’ had the right idea in giving the film a very distinct and powerful score…This…felt a little genric.

I had a really good time with ‘From Beyond’ its a group of people who’ve clearly learnt and grown their craft over some years now presenting what many I feel wouldnt argue is their ‘peak’ work. Definitely worth checking out, I had a really good time with this one. and when paird up with something like ‘Reanimator’ I think you’d have the ‘left/right’ hook you and your friends would need for a HELL of a movie night.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/from-beyond/

In a way, im kind of glad that the boutique labels have been slowly releasing these older Adult features, as they’re a rich history of an aspect of society that isnt often talked about in very much detail. Sex and pornography at the time and increasingly in modern times are often ‘hushed’ topics that seem to bring awkward shuffling in seats and arguements about ‘what their point is?’ from some subsections of society. while modern adult entertainment has its own debates, i’ve found it fascinating exploring these older titles and seeing how tastes and styles have changed over the decades.

‘A Thousand and One Erotic Nights’ is a perfect example of a film that ABSOLUTELY wouldnt and couldnt have been made any later than 1982. I personally didnt really get on with this film for a few reasons. It’s essentially a ‘sexy’ reimagining of the ‘1001 nights’ fairytail series. It boasts on the poster to be the ‘first million dollar adult extravaganza’ and let me tell you, those 2 sets they have REALLY pop for that money (okay…thats a bit of an exaggeration…but my point still stands).

So…there’s no way to broach this subject lightly…theres a LOT of ‘Brown-face’ in this thing…and I mean, A LOT. I think theres maybe two genuinely asian actors in this production and 2 maybe 3 cast members who clearly refused to do it, the rest are in makeup, and while they DO manage to stop short of doing ‘comedy’ middle eastern accents. They DO speak in broken English (with an american accent) for a good chunk of the runtime.

I found that very problematic personally, and apart from the fact that it was INCREDIBLY distracting because, these are some of the WHITEST actors i’ve seen on screen trying to play non white people. the ACTUAL asian actors on set are ALSO basically playing hopped up charicatures of there respective cultures…

Thats before we even GET to the plot. Which in and of itself is rife with issues. Its been a LONG time since I read ‘1001 Nights’, but the key beats from the overhanging story form the book have more or less been transplanted into an adult film context here…but amped up a little…because y’know…sex.

In THIS rendition of the classic, a Sultan finds out his wife has been cheating on him with multiple men and decides to create a new rule for his harem to dissuade disloyalty. Every night he’ll pick a member of his harem, sleep with her, and then hang her in the morning so she cant betray him, and to send a message to the other girls to stay loyal.

However, on his first night he picks a 19 year old who was traded into his harem, who has only one skill. Storytelling, and so, every night for 1001 nights, she regails the sultan with a new tail, always ending on a cliffhanger that branches into a new story the next night.

This is of course a free pass for the film to do a ‘sexy’ anthology series. and on its technical ability is pretty much where this film earns most of its good points from me.

The actual script itself is pretty pacy, its an hour and 26 and feels shorter. the act structuring just about sits right, the balance between plot lines and sex scenes is a little sex heavy for me personally. But not to the films overall detriment. Theres some variety on the scenes present here, but it is a little heavy on Girl/Girl stuff…which is fine, but they dont really shake up the cinematography between scenes…So there were moments where I thought my film had skipped out.

Tonally, the films a bit all over the place, dealing with very bleak subjects at times, but also veering into border parody with some of the ‘Characters’ introduced across the runtime. The dialogues also kind of poor, mainly because, as mentioned…it’s trying to do the whole ‘broken English’ thing to make it sound foreign…when the ACTUAL deliveries are just in plain English. It sounds weird.

The direction is technically on the level, if the claims that this is the first million dollar adult feature are true, I am genuinely at a loss as to where that money went. Because collectively I counted maybe 4 locations (essentially the same set redressed 4 times) and a possible location shoot. The sets are all very nicely furnished. But it’s somewhat tarnished by the fact that 90% of the cast are dressed in costumes clearly from a fancy dress shop, or from whatever ‘wardrobe’ had free in the dumpster round the back that day.

There is absolutely a creative flair present here and the film does look fairly professionally presentable. But the sex scenes do suffer quite a bit here because the director and cinematographer seem VERY focussed on jsut making everything a closeup or mid closeup. I personally always champion an erotic film getting a decent set of close ups, but you need some wides and midwides to really help break up the flow, to add context, to help the audience take in the ambience of the scene…just showing a curated series of shots of random gyrations is quite literally about as ‘erotic’ as it sounds…

The performances are largely poor. I dont think theres a single standout ‘good’ performance here…but PLENTY of bad ones, make NO mistake.

and the soundtrack does have a grand feeling to it, which VERY much helps to set the tone and scene. But its just not enough to really get this one over the line for me.

The majority of my rating for this one stems from its technical ability. Honestly; I cant really fault the cine, scoring, *MOST* of the set designs and the direction (with noted issues with the sex scenes raised here) But the scripts VERY dated as of the year 2024, the brown face stuff is pretty unforgivable and the perforamances range from ‘barely passable’ to ‘dire’.

This one wasnt for me, and I dont think I can recommend it personally…

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/a-thousand-and-one-erotic-nights/