TYTD Reviews

I missed my chance at picking this film up on Bluray a while ago, when Severin Films had to pull their distribution of the title due to some (unsurprising) legal issues with Universal over the title and contents of the film…However, Full Moons streaming service recently added the title to their catalogue. So I figured this was probably the closest I was going to get to seeing a HD copy of the movie and…man oh man is this thing a car crash…

There are two questions you need to ask yourself going into this:

*Did you enjoy the Zombie vs Shark fight scene in ‘Zombie Flesh Eaters’?

And:
*Do you think the idea of someone NOTORIOUS for exploitation sleaze, taking a look at ‘Jaws’ and going ‘Easy m8. its nearly 20 years on. I can do that! no trouble with todays tech!’ is an inherently funny idea?

Because if you answered yes to one of both of those questions…You’ll probably really quite enjoy this.

Essentially; Its just the key beats from Jaws, slightly rearranged with all the nuance, well written characters, in depth research that went into it, the talent of Spielberg, the A+ casting…essentially the heart…RIPPED clean out of it. and replaced with stock footage of random sharks (I spotted Great white, Tiger and Goblin AT LEAST) across the runtime, and an intrinsic horniness that DOES NOT LEAVE THIS FILM ALONE.

Basically, they add a lot more semi naked ladies into the mix, they add a subplotline in involving a rich guy on the island being in deep with the mafia and the change the order in which our ‘Not Quint/Hooper/Broady’ do things…Oh! and because this is an italian exploitation film, theres OF COURSE some bizarre and unbelievable moments, such as the shark attacking a helicopter, and the shark attacking a windsurfing competition.

I will give the film this, it’s shark (in my opinion) looks better/more interesting than the original Jaws prop. Thats literally the only thing it (probably) does better. In every other regard, its a big dumb horny action movie about 3 guys (one of which looks like a dollar tree hulk hogan) trying to take down a MASSIVE shark, seemingly out of goodwill and vengence because the shark kills a few folk.

The scripts a bit slow burn until the very VERY end, theres a lot of repetition. the lack of knowledge about sharks or their habits means a lot of this film is just guys stood around going ‘we gotta get that shark!’ I mean…I know ‘Jaws’ kind of does that too…but at least they had some ACTUAL discussions about shark behaviour, WHY its doing what its doing HOW to hunt it…rather than them treating it like some kind of stray cougar thats been stealing from the dumpsters.

There is a pretty clean act structuring for this thing, but its got hard ‘clunks’ in tone shifting between those acts. Its campy as all hell, with moments that genuinely left me with a bewildered grin.

The directions sloppy, largely reliant on Video quality stock footage and it seems like a lot of the decisions made in this film, were made because ‘Jaws did it’ rather than it ACTUALLY making any kind of logical sense here…for example, In the opening of Jaws the films tinted slightly blue to help emphisize the dusk footage as being night time rather than early morning. its a styalistic choice…

Here? they hard tint the footage blue at random points…its not day for night, these scenes are supposed to be happening during the day…they’re just doing it ‘Because Jaws did it’. They do the ‘close the beaches’ storyline…but whereas in Jaws they slowly build the tension and pressure cook the evacuation of the beach. here? they dont seem to understand how to do ‘slow cook’ tension…leading to a scene where a cop is BELLOWING through a megaphone for everyone to get off the beach now, and the edit hard cuts between him and shots of dozens of legs just kind of…briskly walking…it doesnt quite cut the mustard.

The cine is mixed to poor, lots of mid wide locked off shots, no clear colour or lighting choices that wernt stolen and randomly crammed in from ‘Jaws’ The edit is a HOT mess of random cuts to random footage…randomly. It feels like a rush job, and while *some* scenes do end up looking not half bad…it misses more than it hits…

The performances are ALL sickly sweet or Campy hamtasmic joy. I loved almost every line delivery in this thing and it feels very much like everyone was dialled up to 11. its pretty crazy in places.

For some reason the soundtrack keeps *almost* using the ‘Star Wars’ soundtrack…I say almost because they definitely use big chunks of it across the runtime, but it almost always crossfades into some kind of ‘soundalike’ royalty free track before the bit (most) people remember kicks in…which was weird…

I…dont know how to feel about this one. On the one hand, there are moments here that are GENUINELY hilarious, the 3rd act is some serious grade A cheese. But at the same time, the opening act and a half is SO thin on the ground in terms of plot or fun moments. It takes WAY too long to get going, and while SOME of the bad moments are genuinely entertaining and fun. There are a LOT of bad moments that are just kind of dull or there to kill time…

Im glad I caught it this way, rather than shilling out £40-£80 for an Ebay copy, if you have $4 to spare on a months ‘Full Moon Features’ subscription, I’d say it was absolutely worth that! But I think im gonna have to catch it again some time to say if I definitively love it or not. As it stands, best I can say is, I WOULD watch it again, and if you like Italian ‘knock off’ movies or Italian exploitation. You’ll probably REALLY enjoy this one.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/cruel-jaws/

After an altogether rather enjoyable time with ‘This Night I’ll possess Your Corpse’ I was raring to go to see where the next exciting adventure for Coffin Joe would go. I mean, surely the premise was rich for mining beyond just TWO movies…and the flirtation with Colour in ‘Corpse’ really opened things up to even greater possibilities when it came to gore, guts and depravity…

WELL! As you can imagine, I was *thrilled* to find out that the coffin Joe franchise basically did a ‘Freddys Nightmares’ and for the 3rd film, they became an anthology series with Joe opening the film…and thats. about. it.

Now; Im not saying that calling your film ‘The Strange world of Coffin Joe’ after your last two films prominantly featured ‘Coffin Joe’ and this film features him for collectively 2 minutes would be classed as MISLEADING…but once the SEVEN MINUTES of opening titles/60s folk bopping to christian choral music got out of the way and I realised that Coffin Joe wasnt going to be in this film AT ALL…Well, I felt a little mislead to say the least…

Im not entirely against the premise of ‘Coffin Joe’ shifting from being the lead of these films to taking on more of a horror host/curator of horrors role…But heres the kicker…the stories presented in this anthology arnt particularly good either!

For a starters, the film feels like its trying to kill time by ANY means necessary to get it up to runtime. the 7 minutes of lead in is bad enough, but all the stories in this anthology series have opening title cards as well which run for a couple of minutes a piece.

The stories are kind of dull and are basically pretty beige experiences that only really get a *bump* in quality thanks to some over the top (but brief) gore scenes.

The first story is around a dollmaker who has several daughters learning the trade, they’re all captivated by creating the perfect eyes. When a gang break into the workshop and demand protection money from the old man, they decide to take payment via his daughters (if you catch my drift) leading to an extended mass molestation sequence thats quickly brought to a close with a breif swash of gore and its onto the next story.

Which follows a balloon seller tailing a beautiful woman around the city, eventually she misplaces a parcel and the seller figures this is an ‘in’ to strike up a conversation, so he follows her…Only to find shes going to a wedding to get married…and then she dies…and he molests her corpse…but! he gets a commupence! in a gory way…

and finally José Mojica Marins stars in the final story, appearing as an ‘off brand’ coffin Joe lookalike with a ponytail whos a professor in human behaviour. Honestly…by this point i’d largely lost patience with the film…But…as you can guess, the story involved an underground dungeon, MORE molestation and a side order of cannibalism to boot.

All of the stories are SUPER slow burn and lack any kind of serious focus or draw, they all resolve in the most cliche and uninteresting way imaginable, the harsher more aggressive tone and pace of the last two films here has been watered down to, essentially, extended walking sequences with the odd bit of blood thrown in…

It feels like they had 3 short films that were supposed to play before ACTUAL films…but they couldnt get distribution for a ‘coffin joe’ B/pre-picture distribution gig…so they just shot a 3 minute or so pseudo-philisophical intro with José as Joe, stitched the 3 shorts together and called it a day.

they’re bland and plodding with poor dialogue when there IS dialogue (most of the shorts are largely silent or use minimal repetative dialogue)

Honestly, if it wasnt for the direction and cine. This would have been a really poor offering. As it stands the direction isnt as good as EITHER of the first to ‘Joe’ films…but its still VERY creative, with a good attention to detail. theres a clear vision of what is wanted to be seen, even if there isnt a clear script.

Compositionally theres some really nice shots here, the editing is SUPER slack (you could probably drop 15-20 minutes from this thing and it wouldnt touch the sides) but the sequences themselves hang together well enough and theres some REALLY nice lighting present throughout.

That being said, strong visuals do not a movie make, and some drab performances and poor deliveries only further weigh this film down..the one or two campier performances throughout (particularly in the ‘Doll’ short) are welcome, but way too few and far between.

Throw in the same warbling soundtrack from the last movie (presumably as a cost saving measure) and you have a picture that looks pretty…But thats about all there is going for it. a REAL step back in my opinion, I can certainly see the potential in developing this format…But, to me? its a really quite poor first attempt…

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/the-strange-world-of-coffin-joe/

‘At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul’ was an imperfect introduction to the strange world of ‘Coffin Joe’. While it was a visually delightful piece, the script had a LOT of inconsistencies and it felt (to me at least) a bit like we were watching some kind of extended prologue to the ACTUAL story…rather than it being a story in its own right…

Well! 3 years later, we’re back with ‘This Night I’ll Possess Your Corpse’ and…while broadly speaking, this is VERY much a step in the right direction, its…still kind of struggling a little to properly define the point of all this.

The film picks up IMMEDIATELY after the events of the previous film, Joe somehow SURVIVED having his eyes gouged out and being frightened to death by his undead victims and after 2-3 years recovering in hospital, he returns back to his village to once again pick up the mission of siring a ‘perfect’ son to continue his bloodline and grant him immortality.

Which…here involves murdering a load of ‘imperfect’ ladies, before finding his ‘true’ vision in the form of a local girl called ‘Laura’, with whome he begins working towards his goals…But the town havent forgotten about Joe and his malevolence. and now they’re convinced he’s in league with the devil. It’ll only be a matter of time before Joes past catches up with him.

And…It feels a bit like we’ve had to make some trades in quality here to end up with this production, but I DO ultimatley feel like it’s a step in the right direction.

The scripting side of things gets a BIG boost over the previous entry in my opinion. the script is much better structured, DOES have a clean 3 act structure that transitions between the acts nicely. its shed a LOT of the baggage and continuity issues from the first film. its now established Joe IS in some form of communication with the devil. Because a couple of years pass between the first film and this one, the town having a bit more of a fearful ‘legend’ status for Joe doesnt feel *quite* as artificial. a TON of new characters have arrived in the village since the first film which helps smooth over the issue of people simultaineously acting like Joes behaviour was longstanding AND a new development.

They play down the fact that he’s an undertaker…theres much MUCH less footage of him overseeing funerals and more focus on just allowing Joe as a character grow and develop. In that sense its a much more solid picture.

I like that they actually give Joe a bit more of a complex situation to deal with here, they build on his ‘fundamentals’ that were established in the first film, and…while I will say the 2nd act is a bit sluggish compared to a fairly well paced first and third act, his developing relationship with Laura and the villages reaction had me thinking of ‘The Bride of Frankenstein’ for the most part.

Tonally, the film feels a bit bleaker, and even though it isnt quite as gory as the first entry, theres still more than enough horror present to really help give this thing a decent edge.

The direction feels tighter and higher quality, but the peaks of this film dont *quite* feel like they surpass the peaks of the previous film. theres a strong creative vision behind this one, and they even experiment with mixing colour and black and white footage, with an extended colour scene in Hell thats actually quite phenominal.

But theres nothing here that quite matches the incredible finale of the last film, it gets close…but a lot of this is actually kind of safe, or just retreading old ground from the first film…which is a bit of a shame.

Direction of the cast also sees a big improvement with a much more confident cast, getting more involved with their set spaces and the props within them. There’s a LOT more work with a LOT more animals here which really helps make this film feel a LOT bigger budgeted. deliveries are very well handled and the dialogue itself feels a lot tighter and more naturalistic than previously.

The cine DOES have some astoundingly good moments, such as the aforementioned ‘Hell’ sequences, or the finale. But outsiide of that…its just kind of ‘okay’…Like, it does the job, its technically sound for the most part…But it doesnt seem to have quite the same amount of heart tha the first one had…which is a shame, theres less creative light play, the colour sequences are great! but a little scattershot. its…alright…but the sequence structuring is a little messy.

Obviously on the performances this is José Mojica Marins baby and he REALLY seems to have FINALLY nailed Joe as a character here. a distinctly malevolent presence who believes in himself and the power of being a man. they’ve narrowed down his interestes, but in doing so they’ve also opened him up as a character for a more complex discussion about WHY and HOW he believes what he does and how that impacts his life goals. I havent seen anything past this film, but if this is further developed across the rest of the series. I could easily see Joe developing into a VERY nuanced horror character, someone quite a bit more interesting than the US comparatives…

Aaaand the soundtracks a bit jankey…they mix and match choir music with some orchestral instrumentals…its fine…but does feel a bit haphazard and a lot of it has a heavy warble…which did put me off a bit.

‘This Night I’ll Possess Your Corpse’ is absolutely a step in the right direction, but it’s just a bit of a shame that in order to firm up the really struggling elements of the last film, they seem to have decreased the quality of other areas to pick up the slack.

I personally prefer this one to the original *JUST*…but I do wish there were more ‘iconic’ moments here…just moments in the cine and direction that really helped cement it as something truely unique and interesting as, outside of the hell sequences…im already struggling to remember what was in this film and what was in the first (and I only finished watching this film about 20 minutes ago as of the time of writing)

Honestly? if I were looking to get into this franchise? I’d be inclined to start with this one, THEN go back and watch ‘At Midnight’ and treat THAT film as a prequel to this one, rather than treating this film as a sequel to that one. I think the two films would flow better in that order truthfully…In either case, this ones recommended. its a solid, entertaining and interesting work that sags a little in the middle…but IS clearly showing development.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/this-night-ill-possess-your-corpse/

A frustrating picture to say the least, ‘Red Lips’ is a mid 90s SOV flick that has a kernal of a good idea at its heart, that gets consistantly undermined by excessive needless nudity, simulated sex scenes and the limitations of the medium of SOV.

The plot follows Caroline, a down on her luck grunge head whos resorted to donating blood to make ends meet. One fateful day however, while lamenting how much she’s been payed for this months pull, the doctor working at the center mentions that her blood grouping is unique and that, if she wants to make up to $100 a day, theres a secret experiment that Caroline can undertake. though…it’s strictly off the record.

Naturally, she agrees. But quickly realises that she’s let herself in for more than she’s bargained for, when the experimental serum she’s been injected with completely rewrites her biology, making her desperately and hopelessly addicted to blood. without it, she becomes frail and seizes up. and she has to feast AT LEAST once a day to avoid that.

After picking off a couple of folks in random motels, and a couple of sex workers. Caroline eventually meets up with Lisa (Michelle Baur) an older woman recently out of a toxic lesbian relationship looking to find some stability, and the pair end up forming an rather unlikely alliance…but…as is the case with these things, its very rarely that easy…and VERY rarely a happy ending…

And I think my opening sentiments pretty much sum up my thoughts on the film about as well as I can put it. The base plot here is really, honestly pretty decent. It reminded me a little bit of ‘Thelma and Louise’ but with a distinctly supernatural/horror edge. and I think had it been played out like that (I.E: Two women slowly fall into a lesbian relationship by virtue of their worlds outside of the relationship collapsing in on them, leading to them going on the run and doing what they need to to survive) it VERY likely would have been SO much more engaging a watch than it is…

Unfortunately; because this is an SOV movie, and its gotta do EVERYTHING to sell. it means every other scene has our characters undressing, having sex or flirting pretty needlessly. Which really undercuts the genuinely interesting drama elements of the plot. Im not saying that they CANT have sex in this film. and its perfectly justified for a chunk of the runtime. BUT…someones naked in literally every other scene of this thing, and it quickly becomes apparent that…there isnt any reason for it. its just there because they feel like it’ll shift more copies.

I was really interested in seeing the blossoming relationship between Caroline and Lisa, I’d have been happy to see the script set the pair up as a double act, luring men and women back to an acquired apartment to ‘feed’ caroline and eventually falling foul of the deception.

But no…instead we get such thrilling scenes as ‘Caroline deciding to take an extended bath at someones house’, ‘a performance art piece at a night club featuring 2 semi naked men and a woman playing guitar who’s nude from the waist down’ and who could forget the extended scene of ‘Woman with HUGE boobs washing said HUGE boobs for 3-5 minutes straight…unbroken.’

It just…really lowers the artistic merit the film COULD have had, and kind of put me off the film honestly, the script itself has a TON of nice scenes, great dialogue moments, GOOD ideas…but it just…isnt refined enough to really crystialize the project into something more meaningful than ‘a half decent drama with a LOT of poorly shot porn inserted’.

The pacings a crawl for large chunks of the runtime, the tone cant seem to decide between a sentimental love story with a dark comedy twist and a kind of sleazy exploitation piece. the ending isnt really very satisfying and the characters depth is very much hit and miss depending seemingly on how bothered the writer was that day in adding any kind of depth.

Which leads me onto the OTHER big problem this film has, the medium. Im an advocate for VHS as a format, I believe that SOV put the power of film making into the hands of the everyday guy or gal. But I also have to acknowledge that the format you choose to shoot your film on WILL ultimately have an impact on how its percieved.

‘Red Lips’ has a LOT of big ideas, and Donald Farmer quite clearly had a strong creative vision for how he wanted this film to look. theres a strong styalization across the runtime and it COULD have looked great…on ANY other medium than VHS.

Shot on film? or even early digi beta? I can clearly see that this thing would have looked REALLY quite impressive. theres tremendous colour and lighting usage throughout and the film has a strong identity to it. But shooting on VHS washes out almost all the colour work, makes the lighting look cheap, in places the copy I watched (released by Saturns Core) had tape damage which threw the picture out entirely for a few seconds…the 4:3 aspect ratio means you lose a lot of the compositional range that a 16:9 or academy ratio picture might have offered.

Basically, a LOT of hard work went into this film…I can see that. and I ACHED through this film to see it remade in HD. Because I think with that level of high quality picture work and the same heart that went into this one. it could look INCREDIBLE…but instead, it looks cheap, washed out and awkward here…and thats a real shame.

Performances are a real mixed bag as well. Ghetty Chasun and Michelle Baur are EASILY two of the best actors in this, and I honestly think this may well be Baurs best performance post her 80s hayday. the pair have great chemestry, portray a believable relationship and have a very naturalistic presence together on screen…the supporting cast however? well; they range from not bad at all…to frankly ludicrous performances that genuinely made me wonder if these WERE actors or if Farmer had just grabbed someone from the carpark 10 minutes before rolling. TRUELY dismal, you may think the creaking you can hear in the background is the tape spindles whirring. But its actually the spines of Chasun and Baur carrying this thing.

The soundtracks a bit hit and miss too…I just…I really truely felt frustrated with this one. Its got SUCH a good skeleton on it, that I feel if it was remade on HD cameras and it paired back the sex/nudity to create more impactful scenes where the sex/nudity actually MEANT something to the narrative. this would be a 4 and a half star film for me and one i’d have on repeat circulation…as it stands its a film that I enjoyed the idea of, more than the execution. I could see myself revisiting this one, and if your getting into SOV, its one I could recommend happily…but its such a shame that it is what it is…

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/red-lips/

My first foray into the works of Cecil Howard, and im kind of uncertain how to take it. They say the line between ‘Adult’ cinema and ‘Art House’ is a hairs breadth, but with ‘Scoundrels’ I feel like, without a wider context of Howards ‘Ouvre’ Im uncertain as to whether this film is ACTUALLY TRYING to be an art house picture that just so happens to be centered around sex, or if its trying to lampoon art house cinema for the sheer amount of tropes it trips while going through its 81 minute runtime.

What I can say is, whatever it IS trying to be/do…I enjoyed it. The film sort of reminded me of ‘American Beauty’…But…y’know…its actually good.

As we follow Ron Jeremy giving a HELL of a performance here as psychiatrist Simon. Simon lives a quasi painful existence, fully aware that his wifes cheating on him with his best friend, but too gutless to ever directly address it, Simon finds himself trapped in an unloved suburbian hell. His daughter, an elder high school student, SHOULD be preparing for her finals, but instead has fallen in with a bad crowd and is experimenting with drugs and sex and falling ever closer to prostitution.

His wife? cares about him, but fell out of love with him years ago due to his total loss of passion as his work exhausts him and an affair and regular trips to the brothel form just another crust of the drudge.

The huge tangle of affairs, betrayal and lies slowly begins to boil over however as his daughters boyfriend begins and affair with his wife and Simons secretary (whome Simon is having an affair with) ALSO begins ANOTHER affair/relationship with Simons best friend who’s ALSO having an affair with Simons wife…somethings gotta give.

And what I love about this film is its themes of isolation and the erosion of the self through the enforced stereotypes of the nuclear family (honestly, I thought this was just going to be comedy boobies for 80 minutes. But im SO glad it was SO much more thanb that)

The scripts WAY above the callibre of the usual ‘Adult’ film offering, presenting ACTUAL, hard hitting, real feeling drama that isnt afraid to experiement within the genre. the pacings maybe a little slow around the middle, it could have lost 10 minutes and not lost any momentum. But the plot itself is intreaging and engaging, the act structuring (barring the slowdown) is excellent, the dialogue, for an adult feature, is BEYOND impressive. the characters are complex, deep, rich and interesting, and the film ends on a curveball I genuinely didnt expect that kept me hooked WELL beyond the final shot.

The directions superb, if its a parody/homage to art house, its a bloody good one, as theres SUCH a distinct and creative vision present here. Its SO refreshing to see a film maker have such a clear drive in the message they want to deliver. and I was honestly blown away by the creative decisions present here, not only in the visuals, but in the guiding of the cast. Again, I havent seen any of Cecils work beyond this film. But he absolutely ASTOUNDED me with how he carefully curated and guided the cast through this. I wont go as far as to say they’re perfect, but they easily ALL deliver career highpoints in this thing. I honestly think this may well be the greatest film Ron Jeremy ever made (with ‘Super Hornio bros’ in close 2nd OBV’s)

The cine is clean, razor sharp, ULTRA curated sequences with GORGEOUS composition that oozes eroticism at EVERY turn. its a damn good looking picture which isnt afraid to experiment with colour and lighting. Scenes are engaging, interesting and largely enhanced with a pretty solid edit that again, isnt afraid to experiment with the genre (though to me, it does stumble a few times in terms of the cuts it uses in places and there are a few moments where the score feels noticably absent which I feel really would have helped take some of the scenes to the next level) I LOVE that they use flash cuts of the porn in this whenever our characters think to a past ‘encounter’ rather than just doing the dreary slow blur crossfade that was notorious for this era. those quick cuts fly by before you really fully process what you’ve just seen…But they leave a HELL of an impression as to what you *think* you’ve seen…its wonderful.

The soundtracks solid too, though, for me? a little too on the nose…I get that this is adult film making, and that subtlety ISNT widely considered to be a key aspect. But they really lean into pieces from ‘Pagliacci’ alongside visuals of Jeremy and his family in clown makeup. the first time it was used, I thought it was fine. But its REPEATED use across the whole runtime was what gradually made me think that maybe this WASNT aiming to be an arthouse piece, but rather a parody of an arthouse piece because…it gets kind of rediculous by the end for how much its used.

Nevertheless…I HIGHLY recommend ‘Scoundrels’ I didnt know what to expect from it, but it FAR passed my expectations and genuinely impressed me as a work. Its more than ‘just porn’, its a sincere family drama that just so happens to be graphic. and it’s absolutely nudged me to go and check out more of Cecil Howards work. Recommended.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/scoundrels/

A mid career entry for Bob Chinn and an ‘Introducing’ credit for Hyapatia Lee, ‘Lets Get Physical’ is the story of Maria and Carl. Carl, at one point was one of the countries best Ballet dancers, While Maria is an up and coming choreographer who’s hoping to make it big in a mans world!

Unfortunately; we see via flashback that Carl is unfaithful and has been sleeping with ballet dancers while being in a marriage with Maria. Maria…for SOME reason simultaineously is VERY upset at the revelation of Carls infidelity, but also still utterly smitten with him refusing to confront him over the issue. The infidelity question goes out of the window however when the pair wind up in a freak car crash that renders Carl completely unable to feel ‘sensation’ of any kind from the waist down.

We pick up with the pair as Carl has been relegated to doing the paperwork, while Maria works with her new students Renee and Scott to prepare them for a showcase that will be held in front of the new york ballet company.

While training Renee however, the pair become increasingly passionate leading to a romp, in which Carl finds the pair and immediately becomes aroused for the first time since the accident. Thus leading the group of three into a steamy adventure to get Carls libido back before the big performance!

And…this ones actually a bit more complex than your standard adult feature. The most glaring script issue I can see is with Maria as a character herself. Shes a professional choreographer, trapped in a marriage with a man who doesnt want to have sex with her (despite her REALLY wanting sex from him) who’s fantasizing over BOTH her students, and what happens? Carl gets Maria to bring Renee into a three way relationship where Carl ends up having sex with Renee OVER Maria, and the film resolves with Maria and Carl having sex once and it all being resolved with Maria not feeling AT ALL bitter at the fact that her husband cheated on her for years BEFORE the car accident, THEN stole HER partner she was having a lesbian affair with AND denied her the right to go after her other male student who…the film KEEPS hinting at them getting together, but other than a fantasy flashback, it doesnt happen.

Maria is our lead protagonist in this movie, and she gets DRAGGED. to the point that, by the end of the film I didnt feel sorry for her situation anymore, I felt angry that she’d stay with a serial cheater KNOWING he’s going to do what he’s GOING to do…Ugh.

Anyway, outside of that one plot issue I did have, the rest of the films really rock solid. the scripts a breezy hour and 18 minutes, its really well paced, the act structuring is good and solid theres actual payoffs and resolutions to whats set up. it’s not a film that just randomly inserts sex into its plotting, it lets the sex arrive naturally OUT OF the plotting. the tone is a nice contrast of lighter moments and genuinely complex darkness. (which I think is hilarious given the poster for this film)

The direction and cine is rock solid, though…a little restrained compared to Chinns usual naturalistic capabilities. here…it feels a lot more functional vs say, his work on ‘Body Girls’ or ‘Hot and saucy pizza girls’. It still does the job and is dripping with charisma and eroticism. it just doesnt *quite* feel AS charged as his other works.

Hyapatia Lee is a little stiff in this one, but its her first credit so its kind of understandable that she hasnt found her groove yet, Shanna McCullough and Paul Thompson are both professional and genuinely engaging as Carl and Renee bringing real depth and range to the characters that could have easily been steamrollered by a lesser talent.

The soundtrack is basically a soundalike of ‘Beat it’ played on a loop for the full runtime…I…dont know why, apart from the fact that ‘Beat it’ was THE song of 1982…Might as well have the ‘E.T’ theme for all the relevence it has…but its fine.

But yeh…this one was alright! a little frustrating on the narrative front, but everything else was rock solid and I understand why Vinegar Syndrome and Melusine released this as the B-picture to ‘Body Girls’ I think the two compliment each other quite nicely.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/lets-get-physical/

Well, this one was a fun one! Barring one, slightly uncomfortble scene of female on male rape around 20 minutes in, ‘Body Girls’ is a light hearted adult film with a somewhat screwball sensibility.

The plot? largely revolves around a gym owner by the name of Jackie La Lay (A play on both Jack and Jackie La Laine the famous gym enthusiasts) The girls of her gym enter a muscle/beauty competition every year, and every year they win outright. But competition from the gym across the city has been causing them trouble, and now they’re upping the ante sending two goons over to mess with the gym equipment of the girls and to intimidate the judges!

And so the girls band together to protect the judges (and guarentee their victory using there…bulging talents…) AND ensure that the only people screwing around in the gym are doing so as part of their membership fee…

And I kind of want to put this film in the same group as ‘Hot and Saucy Pizza Girls’ as a film that really isnt taking itself too seriously and uses that bubbly lightheartedness as a form of eroticism.

The scripts ultra basic and the dialogue really isnt up to much cop, a lot of the improvised talking during the sex scenes is awkward and feels forced. But thats kind of off set by the fact that everyone seems to be in the zone and vibe for this kind of thing and director Bob Chinn seems to really know how to pull naturalistic physical responses out of his subjects. As such it all feels very nicely curated and well paced. it slows down maybe a little bit in the middle, but it never loses its thread or tone which is admirable.

Theres absolutely a creative vision to hand here and Bob, working with the frankly ASTONISHINGLY gorgeous Hyapatia Lee has managed to create a gorgeous artistic vision here, draped in a somewhat hokey premise.

The cinematography oozes sensuality, they get up close into the action and compositon is minded towards really enveloping the audience in the intense eroticism on show.

The performances are a tad dry, but again, its hearts in the right place and that works for me! Physically they nail it, which…for this kind of film is kind of the important part.

and the soundtrack is pure knockoff 80s-ness. I definitely heard soundalikes of ‘What a feeling’ and similar across this one. and the entire film is legwarmers and headbands as far as the eye can see.

A real blast from the past ‘Body Girls’ is SO painfully 80s it almost feels like someones trying to parody the era after the fact. But its a technically very well made production with a rock solid script and some fantastic performances, making it an enjoyable and fun watch, that I can happily recommend.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/body-girls/

One of the first horror movies ever produced to completion in Brazil. ‘At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul’ Is a more than significant picture in terms of the time it was made and the bounderies it pushed against. Indeed, if 1968’s ‘Night of the living dead’ was seen as controversial for a scene of a daughter hacking at her mother with a trowl and carrrying her entrails around (and collectively about 2 cupfulls of blood splattered out across the full runtime) Then a film featuring a molesty demon worshipper who gores first and asks questions later was always going to likely be a point of contention.

I myself first ‘experienced’ the ‘Coffin Joe’ series in the early 2010s when I got my hands on Anchor Bays ‘Coffin Joe’ collection. I never made it past the 3rd film in the series and ultimately sold the set on shortly thereafter…something I heavily regretted as the anchor bay set went out of print shortly thereafter, the price went through the roof and then news turned up that apparently the coffin Joe films were in such a rough archival state, that it would be unlikely that they’d EVER make the jump to HD…and given DVD’s decline, it was unlikely a studio would do another SD release…I figured i’d lost out on the chance to really give these films a proper appraisal.

And then about 4-5 years ago, Arrow video announced they were working on a ‘Coffin Joe’ set, that they’d managed to get ‘decent’ condition film prints of all the movies except for the first one…this one. Which was apparently in an incredibly poor state and as such an intensive restoration was going to be required in order to preserve it. 4-5 years later, I have the finished set sat on my shelf and revisiting ‘Midnight’ nearly 15 years after I last saw it, I enjoyed it more…But it has its problems…

The biggest one being its script, which feels INCREDIBLY inconsistent and doesnt seem to be structured in a conventional way…which is interesting to experience as an appreciator of film as a medium. Its terrible as someone who has to relay what this film is about and why I had issues with it.

So…the films around 85 minutes long and basically its almost entirely focussed on José Mojica Marins ‘Coffin Joe’ an undertaker in a small brazillian village who…is odd? thats the best I’ve got to explain him honestly…He makes it clear he doesnt believe in god, he laughs at the idea of demons…But he himself has SOME kind of demonic ability as, when he’s attacked or provoked, his eyes turn bloodshot red and he becomes a super agile, ultra strong killing machine.

The majority of the film follows Joe as he does such heinous acts as ‘eating meat on a holy day in front of a congregation’ or ‘cuts a mans fingers off after he refuses to give up his money when he loses a card game’. But really…this is all building to Joes ‘modus opperandi’.

Joe believes that a beings lifeblood is preserved in its lineage…Basically that, as long as you continue your bloodline and father a child every generation, you’ll be able to live on forever through the blood of your family. Hes a bachelor, living with a housekeeper who desperately wants him. But Joe is only interested in siring a son with the PERFECT woman. he wants his offspring to be the best it can possibly be.

and through the film he attempts to ‘take’ the fiance of one of his only friends in the village Antonio. After getting his fiance alone, he rapes her and explains that she will sire his son and continue his bloodline…only…that fails. and this then starts a series of events involving an old witch, several other women and an army of the undead that’ll slowly bring Joe to justice.

And this films biggest issue, at least for me? is that the script is just…SO inconsistent. A lot of these issues will sound like nitpicks, but they all add up into a whole that makes the film kind of difficult for me to outright love.

So for starters, The film is set in the present day of 1964. Joe is the ONLY person in the village who dresses like an unkempt victorian from the mid 1800’s, everyone else has nice modern suits and modern haircuts. At first it made me think ‘oh! Joe must be a LOT older than he’s revealing…maybe the bloodline stuff is literal and everytime he succeeds he LITERALLY extends his lifeline…’ But no…he’s just a semi-normal guy who hulks out when he gets angry.

The continuity is weird, the film opens with a scene of Joe smashing up his evening meal because he wants meat. which he cant have because its a holy day…so he heads out to go and find some. He also talks badly about his customers, threatening to start charging them double because he doesnt want to deal with them anymore….The issue here being, Brazil has a LOT of holy days…and its established that Joe and his housekeeper have known each other for a while…the outburst is treated as unusual…HOW? its like the film simultaineously wants you to believe that Joes been a long presence in this village, while ALSO wanting you to believe that all this strange behaviour is a new occurance… which, later plot points in the film reveal isnt the case.

Joe flat out murders half a dozen people in front of two dozen witnesses…and not one of them pulls a gun, or a knife, or ANY kind of weapon on him as self defence. I thought for a time that maybe this was supposed to be some kind of universe where guns didnt exist…But then at the end of the film, Joe goes nuts with a pistol for 5 minutes…Which raises the question…WHY did noone even THREATEN him with a gun at ANY point in this?

Continuity aside, the films structuring is odd too, BECAUSE we follow the story from Joes perspective, it means…other than one or two instances with the police, we never really get to get a feeling for our protagonists. Typically with a film like this, we’d follow a couple of protagonist outsiders who are a little creeped out by Joe as a presence. end up accidentally seeing or finding something they shouldnt and find themselves pulled into Joes world.

Here? following Joe means we just end up…watching him wander about for a bit, drink a lot of wine and murder a few folks. They try to soften Joe as a character once or twice by having him stop an abusive father from beating up his kid and by escorting a young woman home…But its kind of hard to say Joe is a ‘Complex character with good and bad sides’ whent he bad sides include rape, eye gouging, murder, and communication with demonic forces…

Dont get me wrong, I applaud the fact that the film decides to dollow the antagonist here, its an unusual but unique thing to do…I just think it could have been handled better.

Because of the continuity and structural issues, the pacings effected as well…The film feels like it opens in its 2nd act. It feels like we’ve missed something fundamental, as we pick up with Joe at a funeral thats in the middle of happening. the issues around the people around Joe simultaineously treating his deviency as a new development AND something he’s renowned for makes it feel like we as the audience have missed a key development into WHY everyones treating him as they do.

As such, it feels like the first and second act are kind of melded together for the first 70 minutes or so of the film as we kind of idle in the same gear for most of that runtime, occasionally spiking into something a bit more quicker paced when a fight scene happens. But it really only TRUELY gets interesting a more ‘high gear’ in the 3rd act…at least, in my opinion.

The scripts a bit uneven and really kind of feels like the writer wasnt entirely confident with how scripts should be structured or written. Thats not to say its inherently a BAD script, its enjoyable enough. its just that, if your coming to these films for the first time, you might find it quite a bit more difficult to just ‘put on and enjoy’ because it plays against a lot of commonly agreed formatting choices.

Contrasting that script problem however, we have frankly GORGEOUS cine and direction. stuff that would give some of the Universal monster movies a run for their money. José Mojica Marins alongside playing Joe ran direction duties on this thing and i’ll say this, at this point in the mans career, he may not have been able to write a consistent feature length script. But you better believe he can shoot a damn fine movie!

A SUPERB example of lighting here, everything is murky moody and eerie. it feels like a film thats fallen through from a different dimension. Shots are superbly composed, theres some very interesting and intricate fight sequences. a LOT of Joes character is shown through creative lighting and framing choices and the cast and crew seem to be very receptive to instruction as they give performances that utterly blew me away. They may not be saying anything particualrly mindblowing…But you better believe they’re saying it with HEART.

Equally, as mentioned. for 1964; this film is SURPRISINGLY gory. expect bloody gouged eyes, blood smatters during physical beatings, gory shots of fingers being chopped off, eye popping, EVERYONE gets covered in quite realistic blood at one point or another in this thing…which for 1964 is pretty unheard of. I mean…’Bloodfeast’ came out 12 months prior to this one with comedy ‘poster paint red’ blood and little to no ACTUAL gore…and that film got damn near condemned by the church for it…this film looks REAL…lord knows how people took it at the time….

Ultimatley; I have a complex realtionship with this first entry. it felt like a production that had a solid idea, but was uncertain on how to realize it. This would be the starting point of an (at least) 10 picture series. and a lot of franchises like this will often start a bit janky before revising what they want to be and crystalizing their idea (see: the friday the 13th movies, which took 3 pictures before they nailed the format).

So while the script was kind of a mood killer for me, the visuals, characters, performances, tone and soundtrack excelled SO much, I cnat really hate this one. its a total ‘mood’ film, one best enjoyed a few beers deep in the smokey haze of a 2am screening. rough, grim and unpleasent. its definitely a must see if your a horror or film enthusiast. but…just be prepared.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/at-midnight-ill-take-your-soul/

A somewhat frustrating short, ‘Coming West’ is a somewhat jumbled, hour or so long adult feature that on the one hand seems to know what it WANTS to be, without actually knowing how to BE it.

Its a little hard to explain honestly, its better seen to understand it. But the plot probably will help to give some inkling as to what I mean.

So, the film is 54 minutes long and around 51 minutes of that runtime is shown as either a flashback or a dream (the film doesnt make it clear) we open in the present day of 1971 as a group of girls are out on a LONG road trip, when one of the girls begins to drift off, and we flash back to the days of the old west, where our girls are now playing estranged women who were kicked out of their town for stripping on stage and are now looking to set up a ‘cat house’ in the next town over.

One of the girls goes to wash herself in a river and meets an old friend by the name of Matt, who she has a MASSIVE crush on, and what follows is a fairly dreary 20 minute sex scene, where it isnt made clear whether this is a dream inside the old west girls head, or if we’re looking into the future…We then cut back to the present day for 20 seconds (for some reason) before cutting back to the western times where Matt and the girls introductions are cut short when a native american jumps the other two girls. Matt and co knock the native american out. and then another of the girls is going for a swim and meets up with Matt again, theres another 5-10 minute long sex scene, which then leads into a sex scene between another of the girls and the native american, which then leads into a further 15 minuite long sex scene between all the girls, Matt and the native american. Ending with a quick cutback to the present day where the girls on the roadtrip get the dream recounted to them.

its 54 minutes, i’d be amazed if there was more than 2 pages of dialogue in the whole thing, 99% of the film is ENTIRELY Foley of bubbling streams, chirping crickets and rustling grass. they forgot to redub some of the actresses lines so you see them delivering dialogue that cant be heard. they didnt bother with any kind of audio for the sex scenes themselves beyond a folky guitar melody.

Theres really very little to nothing here script wise to talk about.

Where this film DOES get a few good points however is in its direction and editing…thats pretty much the only thing it DOES have going for it. The sex scenes utilize some creative lighting in places and the director seems to know how to work with low/no budget to create at least a tinge of eroticism across the runtime. I mean, the total lack of script does kneecap this thing somewhat, but visually you actually FEEL like these characters WANT to be in the same room as each other, and it never really feels ‘clinical’.

Theres a few creative sequences across the runtime which looked pretty okay, and only enhancing that is the edit…which is imperfect, but did surprise me. On the one hand some of the scene cuts are VERY blunt. which is a shame because it can really pull the audience out of the action. That being said, theres some pretty cool match cuts in this one, which is a sign that the director DID have a vision for this thing thats a bit above the film makers of the time.

the performers are all fairly likable and give decent enough performances. the choice to shoot most of the film out in the open means the film stock being lower quality isnt *quite* as bad a choice as it could have been as the natural lighting is quite flattering to lower quality stock. the soundtracks innoffensive.

Honestly? Its a skippable film, I cant recommend it. its not got a whole lot going for it on the story front and the near total lack of on set sound is problematic. But it does seem to have a relatively firm hand on the rudder, theres clearly some creative thought thats gone into the direction and cine and I suppose if you were just looking for sex, this delivers that. A bit bland…but it had potential.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/coming-west/

One of the MANY adult films missed off Severin films ‘Ray Dennis Steckler’ compendium. im really not surprised that ‘Deviates in Love’ was omitted…the fact it was the B picture on one of vinegar syndromes ‘Peekarama’ doubleheaders should pretty much tell you everything you need to know about exactly how good this thing is.

The films split in half, with the first half following a voyeur neighbour as she goes from house to house peeking into the neighbours windows to catch them up to depraved acts such as BDSM,orgies and incest. With a continuous inner monologue from said peeping tom neighbour as she recounts that all the women she’s watching are her friends from high school and she basically ranks them out of 10 for how much she wants to bang them.

The film then promptly announces that she drank herself to death, and the second act is basically the SAME plot, only now there IS now peeping tom woman, its instead a women visiting her doctor because shes concerned shes a lesbian after getting turned on seeing all her friends banging their husbands/partners, again in various orgy/slightly rapey settings.

Ray Dennis Steckler is a miracle quite honestly, able to shoot out a couple dozen porn films a month and NOT ONE of them that i’ve seen to date even BEGINS to contain a PARTICLE of what I would call ‘eroticism’.

Its the same problem as all the other films he made around this time, EVERYONE looks ill, the lightings incredibly poor, the locations are equally dingey and sickly. the quality of the film stocks poor, the quality of the acting is poor, the composition of the shots made me get an ‘innie’, the scripting is lazy, with poor quality dialogue, bad pacing and repetative and monotonous sequences.

The themes are unpleasent and arnt handled particularly well. the direction is cold and offputting…Like…if you JUST wanna see people mash genitles together for an hour, THIS is your movie! but for anyone with even a MODICUM of fire left in their soul. this is as appealing as curdled custard.

OH! and you can add to the HUGE pile of issues with this one that either the only surviving print of this has been damaged, or the edit was atrocious, because large chunks of the film are missing…as in peoples dialogue will cut out mid sentence and then we’ll hard jumpcut to another totally random reel MULTIPLE times from around the mid point onwards.

If it wasnt for the fact that this one was a cheap pick up during Melusines valentines day sale this year, i’d have skipped this one. But honestly? its antiporn. Ray Dennis Steckler could shoot you as many adult movies in a month as you’d be willing to pay him to do. but the man just WAS NOT adept at shooting for eroticism. He is to adult cinema, what I am to open heart surgery…like, yeh, i’ll give it a go. But that wont stop the lawsuits.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/deviates-in-love/