TYTD Reviews

Before tonight, I hadnt seen ‘Attack of the Clones’ since…probably sometime in the late 2000’s and honestly, my memory of watching it way back then was so misty and vague, that other than a handful of scenes. I couldnt remember it clearly enough to even really recall much of what happened…Now having rewatched it, I realise thats a feature…not a bug.

I was under the impression that the Star Wars Prequels got better as time went on. But ‘Attack of the Clones’ somehow manages to the near impossible feat of being simultaineously PAINFULLY over long and boring AND overly busy and irritating.

10 years have passed since the first film and Aniken and Obi-Wan are sent to investigate an assassination attempt on Senator Amidala. causing the film to split into two plot lines as Anakin is partnered up with Padme as a bodyguard (they inevitably have THE dryest hot romance i’ve ever seen committed film…), While Obi-Wan is set the task of tailing an assassin by the name of Jango Fett who’s working for a mysterious and sith-infused ‘Count Dookoo’ basically a renegade Jedi who’s working for powerful masters.

And…Seemingly the reaction to ‘Phantom Menace’ was SO strong that they felt there was almost no choice but to completely rework the remaining parts of this trilogy…and its just awful. The lighter moments working against the more serious action adventure, are here replaced with awkward and cringey sequences that play against VERY dry and serious moments creating and unpleasent an horribly dated tone.

The dialogues painful in places, with one liners to make your skin crawl and dramatic scenes that could spoil milk. The pacing is dire, theres now even more CG sequences and even busier scenes than the first film CONSTANTLY being bombarded at your eyes creating and unpleasent to sit through collage of awfulness.

Honestly, I feel like they ‘over serioused’ this Star Wars movie and forced the humour into select and awkward pockets. Its just a terrible viewing experience pretty much entirely throughout. I didnt feel a single moment of joy or wonder in this thing. just the cold gentle buzzing of a computer rendering in the next scene.

The directions atrocious. George here is literally just throwing everything he can at the screen with no rhyme or reason, theres no clear creative vision and everything is either bathed in Orange or dark blue…and nothing else. Its a flat, lifeless vision of a picture that…If it wasnt for the fact I genuinely couldnt remember what happened in this movie…Would have had me switching off by the half hour mark.

He somehow managed to make a war between a clone army, a droid army and a load of rampant killer insects look dull…HOW do you even accomplish that!?

Direction of the casts just…awful. Hayden Christiansen seems to get the absolute worst of it. In my last review of ‘Episode 1’ I lamented that I felt Anakin as a character would have been better suited to being a quiet, more insular type who slowly comes out of his shell in the worst way possible. But instead they chose to make him a boistrous and outspoken character, which I felt worked against the stories drive.

Here? They lean EVEN HARDER in to that, establishing that Anakin is now hanging on to even BEING a Jedi by a thread because he doesnt like the rigidity of the Jedi order. he’s now even louder, unpleasent and arrogant. But he’s being directed to play the performance almost numb in tone. Which creates SUCH a weird and awkward performance. When I say Lucas’s direction of the cast in this film makes Tommy Weisaus ‘The Room’ feel like it has PULSE. You KNOW somethings gone very VERY wrong.

As an aside as well, I feel like its kind of important if your writing a film featuring a complex protagonist who’s battling the urge to just be evil…that it may be in the audiences interest to…y’know..ACTUALLY give him some contrast to work with, rather than just starting him off as neutral annoying and then working him up to Evil/Annoying…it makes it SO much more enjoyable for the viewer if we ARNT trapped in a 2 hour 23 minute ‘fart in a phonebooth’ scenario.

The Cine is compromised by an overreliance on CG and special effects, the editing is blinding, overly busy and confusing. The casting isnt terrible…but its REALLY not great either. Christopher Lee is probably the most enjoyable part of this, and he’s basically playing Space ‘Dracula’…Im sure he got at least a couple really nice driveways installed for being in this one.

The soundtrack? its star wars.

I braced when I watched ‘Episode 1’ thinking that it was going to be the worst part of this trilogy. If only i’d known that the TRUE horrors of this era lay further on in the franchise, i’d have probably had a couple beers before hand.

Literally the only good part of this film is the final 10 minutes with Dookoo…other than that this was an absolute SLOG to get through, and im glad im logging this film on Letterboxd, because I use these reviews really more as a note to myself, if ever I get the notion to go and rewatch these films…Well to future me (and to you dear reader) I say this. DONT watch ‘Episode 2’ it’s truely dire.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/star-wars-episode-ii-attack-of-the-clones/

Every 10 years or so I get an itch to watch some ‘Star Wars’ movies. I wouldnt say im the biggest fan of the franchise, but I almost certainly have an appreciation for what they’ve come to stand for within the film ecosystem (Technological advancement, gripping stories of espionage, action and thrilling adventure taking license from action thrillers of the 40s and 50s, peppered with a mild whimsy to help make it digest better with the audience)

I watched the recent ‘sequals’ trilogy as it came out in theaters, I last watched the original trilogy back in 2014…But the ‘Prequels’? Thats a different kettle of fish. I’ve never seen ‘Revenge of the Sith’, I watched ‘Attack of the clones’ once on DVD and barely made it to the end credits. And as for ‘The Phantom Menace’? Tonight was my 3rd ever watch. Having first watched it on it’s opening week back in 1999, followed by a drunken rewatch at some point in 2010/2011 where Im 90% sure I passed out before the 3rd act.

While I welcome the other star wars trilogies with open arms, the sheer venom thats been levelled at the ‘prequel’ films from nearly every corner of the internet, made it feel like something not really worth bothering with…I mean…if the vast VAST majority of people say its one of the worst films ever made…they’ve gotta be right…right?

Well…I sat down stone cold sober tonight and I freebased all 2 hours and 16 minutes of ‘The Phantom Menace’ and…my honest response?..Is an understanding of why some people would think this was bad, but a total confusion over the utter bile spat out in this films legacy.

Im not sure if it’s just the fact that i’ve addled my brain with 10+ years of terrible TERRIBLE movies and very little else. But having sat through this thing, there were only TWO notable things I really picked up on that I feel let this film down. The plotting and how it handles its plot elements. And the fact that this is unmistakably attempting to do a ‘Return of the Jedi’ and basically act as a toy commercial.

With the former point, I’d argue that its subjective. In my opinion the films padded quite heavily, scenes run on for WAY longer than they realistically should have (the pod racing scene is an example. It really should have been MUCH shorter than it ended up being) and the result is a movie that has a rather strong first act I feel, but slows to a crawl the moment they set foot on Tatooine and it never really gets its momentum back from there.

Theres multiple elongated VERY dry exposition scenes, my understanding is that this was originally supposed to set up a much slower burn series of Anakin turning into Vader through the corruption of politics and sacrifice of his own beliefs. However when this film garnered SUCH a negative backlash the whole thing was condensed and retconned into something more audience friendly and ‘safe’…Not that that gives the film a reprive if I still have to sit through it as part of the trilogy.

The other issue to this point is that this film was almost always set up to fail in the eyes of the fandom. ‘Return of the Jedi’ came out in 1983 and Lucas spent the best part of 16 years delaying ‘Episode 1’ from being made because he said he would only make it when the technology caught up with his vision. Star Wars fans are some of the most rabid fans on the planet, so when this film got announced, as you can imagine, story ideas, plot theories and leaks went WILD.

I feel that, even had Lucas made a different, even marginally tighter production, the fans still would have savaged it because it wasnt in line with the 16 years of extended media and merch that had followed it.

To that point however, I do feel there are plot points in this film that could have been explored in more depth vs, what we actually got as a finished product. Darth Maul almost certainly would have benefitted form a bit more screentime, he’s the emporers apprentice and he’s on screen for collectively 15 minutes or so. I feel like Qui-gon would have benefitted from more time on screen, even beyond this film to Boi up Obi-Wans transition into a full blown Jedi Knight. Anakins character is a little too charismatic and outspoken, I feel a kid who’s strongly with ‘the force’ might have presented as a little more subdued and introspective. Maybe even nervous…

But! with that being said, I can only judge whats here, and whats here is fine enough…but a little dry. The script works with light and dark relatively well to deliver a pleasing contrast on tone. Jar Jar Binks is a little overplayed, less Jar Jar would have been better in my opinion. The dialogue, as mentioned is a little overly dry, the action is consistent…But I feel like the sabre battles do somewhat overshadow any chance for a more meaningful encounter. Arguably one of the best scenes in the entire franchise is in ‘A new Hope’ when Obi Wan fights Darth Vader. Its a sabre battle…but they openly talk as old friends, they challenge each other. It feels more naturalistic…Here its just sabre battles…and thats fiiiiiine…But I just wish there’d been more.

The whole thing rounds off well enough, But Episode 1 to me almost feels too much like a self contained film than the opening part of a trilogy. As the credits rolled on this thing I didnt feel like I’d just been left with the threads that would open up this new era of a cinematic world spreading 2-3 generations…I felt like i’d just watched a kinda sorta alright ‘Star Wars’ movie…and thats…not really the tone you want to leave your audience with when your promising two more movies. I wanted to leave pumped for ‘Episode 2’…instead I left thinking ‘Well…that wasnt quite as bad as I remembered it…’

In terms of everything else? I have no issues really. The direction is an above average studio offering for the time. Its George Lucas working with more money than god and no restraint. I’ve seen films shot for a dollar in an alleway…it looks fine. Direction of the cast is a little bit mixed for me, given how stilted the dialogue is the cast work with it as best they can. But they have to deliver a lot of their lines very stoically and….with the best will in the world, its hard to do that for 2 hours and keep it interesting. The overeliance on CGI (which did bother me a bit) also means we lose a lot of the more personal/naturalistic touch that a live action performer can provide. With Yoda and JarJar in particular REALLY suffering as a result in this one.

The cine, much like the direction is decent for an above average studio picture. I think again the overeliance on CGI to worldbuild ultimately harms the film more than helps it…But I realise that this trilogy is like 99% greenscreen sets. So its going to be a losing battle for me if I have a problem with that for the next couple movies.

Performances are fine. Liam Neeson, Natalie Porter, Ewan McGregor and Jake Lloyd are all pretty rock solid in their key roles. and, in a breaking from my own personal rules against ‘discussing child actors’ I do want to take a moment to air my utter UTTER contempt for the people who bullied Lloyd off the back of his performance in this film. Those fans should be ashamed of themselves quite frankly.

Soundtracks solid…Look. ‘The Phantom Menace’ has its problems. and given its 2+ hour length it’ll be a while before I revisit it, purely because I dont really have the time these days…I can totally understand why it got the hate it got back in 1999, I could even understand how salty fans from back in the day would still find this insufferable. But on this rewatch? I cant honestly say I disliked this film. It was flawed, and…for me it probably IS the worst ‘Star Wars’ film in the franchise…But I think that has more to do with the fact that, if your ranking the films from best to worst, there ultimately HAS to be a film thats at the bottom of the pile…rather than it being the case that this films horrendous and has earned its place at the bottom of the pack.

Theres a difference between a film being ‘So bad its deserving of ridicule’ and a film ‘Not being as good as the other films, but still being alright’ and I think thats where this film lands for me. I dont love it, I dont hate it, it’s fine. flawed…but fine.

Which…If you believe every film should strive to be the absolute best it can possibly be or its a failure, will inevitably be problematic for some people. But if like me, you think that it should be a goal, but not the be all and end all…you’ll probably just think this thing wasnt anything to write home about and move on to the next movie…thats what im doing at least…

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/star-wars-episode-i-the-phantom-menace/

A rather dissapointing offering ‘Primitives’ (also known as ‘Savage Terror’) is a film that is probably best talked about in the knowledge that the director gave an interview shortly after this film premiered where, when asked what made him decide to make a ‘cannibal’ movie?, he responded by saying that he’d watched a bunch of them over a brief window of time and decided that he wanted to make one because ‘it looked fun.’

The reason I bring this up is because this film basically steals about 80% of its scenes and plot points from ‘Man from Deep River’ (1972) and ‘Jungle Holocaust’ (1977). I wish there was more to it than that honestly…but there isnt.

The plot? a group of students head to a remote part of the Indonesian jungles to try and learn about the cultures out there. Their guide is more than happy to take them to the sections of the jungle where the more civilized tribes live. But refuses to take them to the deepest remotest parts of the jungle lie for fear of what lies in wait.

The students naturally think he’s overstating the danger and decide to press on without him, by taking a slightly ramshackled raft out to go and explore these regions. Naturally; the boat gets into trouble, gets broken up by some rocks and the group find themselves stranded in a remote part of the jungle, where they’re quickly set upon by cannibal tribes who take them to a semi underground cave/jail area and…the rest of the film is them disgusting and semi torturing the students, while the students try to escape.

Its basically ‘Jungle Holocaust’ but about 10 minutes shorter, revolving around a broken boat instead of a broken airplane and the budget seemingly had a zero dropped off it.

For a super low budget Indonesian film, it looks pretty decent. I mean…the effects are a bit rubbish and the blood looks like something out of a Hammer horror film. But shots are composed quite well, they utilize styalized lighting, colour has a good part to play in helping create and atmosphere…But thats about all the good I can really say for this one.

The script is derivative to the point that, at first I got a creeping sense of familiarity…and THEN I realised what they were doing and got VERY annoyed…Barring one or two scenes where they did take an original turn. This things an almost toothless take on the cannibal genre, theres almost no nudity, no gore, Animal cruelty is still there (unfortunately) but all the fun associated with the Cannibal subgenre is nowhere to be found. Its dull. Dreary and just trudges along making me wish I was watching something like ‘Jungle Holocaust’ or ‘Cannibal Ferox’ or any of the other Cannibal movies that actually tried to do something original, rather than copy half a dozen other movies to try and make a quick buck.

The performances are all pretty dull too…Theres nothing really to speak of positively on that front.

The soundtracks totally forgettable too…barring the opening titles…which inexplicably use ‘Robots’ from Kraftwerks ‘Man Machine’ album…the only electronic pop song featured in a score thats basically droning.

I do have a theory for that though…’Robots’ was still pretty new at the time this film came out, and the titles and end credits for this film were seemingly stored seperately from the movie itself (presumably so that the correct languages could be displayed when distributing to international audiences) The ngatives for these titles and credits are now long gone. and as such for the Severin Bluray release, they had to go back to a 35mm German print of the film to restore them.

I believe that the opening titles of the film were redubbed to include ‘Robots’ to try and make it sound more contemporary…I think that the print was then cycled on to the rest of Europe who DIDNT realise that ‘Robots’ wasnt included in the original release and they just, ran with it rather than query it…I say this because I find it BEYOND hard to believe that a low budget Indonesian production would have a fairly traditional scoring for its Cannibal film for 99% of the runtime, but randomly decide to use late 70s Krautrock for its opening titles.

Im convinced the print landed in Germany either scoreless or with a terrible score attached to it, and the film board in charge of striking prints of the movie for distribution in Germany just decided to redub it to save the silence or peoples ears…

Anyway; I digress…This film was a huge waste of time for me. Not inoffensive…But if the best thing I can say about a movie is ‘It looked pretty good in some places’ and ‘It ripped off other movies 1:1 in a not totally terrible way’ then you know its not exactly onto a winning deal.

Boring, sluggish and lacking any kind of bite. It’ll be a hell of a while before I revisit this one…

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/primitives/

I was late to the party with ‘Reanimator’…come to think of it, I was late to the party for ‘Brain Yuzna’…But in the last 5-10 years i’ve tried to remedy that, and I’ve had a great time. But while movies like ‘Society’ and ‘Return of the Living Dead 3’ were absolutely fun, strange and interesting. ‘Reanimator’ feels to me like a production that got the balance just about right between INCREDIBLY dark comedy, INCREDIBLY gory horror and INCREDIBLY bizarre visual imagery.

The plot itself predominantly revolves around one Dr. Herbert West (Played PERFECTLY by Jeffery Combs. A ‘not quite in the room’ practitioner who’s been experimenting with reanimating dead tissue. after a few notable failures which got him kicked out of a swedish university (and Sweden) He’s arrived in the US looking for a place to lie low and continue his research into the neon glowing ‘Reanimator’ fluid.

And what better place to do that than at a medical school! and after making himself well acquainted with the doctors teaching at the facility (he flat out insults their intelligence and makes sly comments about his own work) he eventually finds a place to stay and a basement to call his own when he answers the ‘Roomate’ ad for couple Dan and Meg. At first the pair are apprehensive of Herbert, but when he offers a months rent up front in cash on the request that he be left alone…the pair soften a little to him…Little do they know the carnage they’re offering up into their lives from this point onwards.

And honestly? I REALLY like this one. Its pretty much consistently successful in what its trying to do across the board. The script is a pacey hour and 26 minutes long, has a clean 3 act structure with perfectly smooth transitions between the acts. The pacing, while a little stop/start in places is at least consistent. It gives you pretty fair warning if your into media literacy of when the films going to slow down for a bit to get some exposition out of the way or its going to begin the warm up for an excessive gore shot.

The characters are VERY well rounded and have some amazingly charismatic and genuinely entertaining dialogue. It opens with clear intentions of where the plots going to go and ends satisfactorily in a way that leaves room for a sequel. But if you DID just wanna end things here, it’d absolutely work too.

The direction is stylish, methodical and clearly thought out, it has a grimey ‘mouldy’ edge for lack of a better expression and Yuzna’s really managed to rein in the excesses that would make his later work feel festering (See ‘Silent Night Deadly Night 4’) here? its all bubbling just under the surface occasionally rising up out of the slick and considered action ready to just help lift those nastier moments to something altogether more disturbing.

The direction of both the cast and crew here shows a clear understanding of the film making process and it seems like Yuzna was a clear communicator to his team, while also allowing just enough fluidity that the cast could loosen up, work to develop their characters on set and maybe even throw a few improvs in for good measure.

The cine is just delightful, with wondefully composed sequences made of a solid mixture of key shots and B-roll. the blocking is near excellent as is the compositional choices throughout. the heavy use of coded styalized colours such as luminous green and cool blues and blacks really help only further cement this films already solid identity.

And only further enhancing the situation, the editing is superb. with precise and clear cuts and transitions that help keep the film ticking over at a solid pace. With even some decent match cuts only adding to the strange but delightful humour this film has (an example being an early scene where Dan surprises Meg in a corridor and starts being affectionate, she repeatedly says ‘No! No! No!’ which then hard cuts to a near match cut of the pair having sex at a later point where shes saying ‘Yes! yes! yes!’…Its a small touch, but it near instantly tells you the type of tone this things going for)

The performances are delightful, I honestly think the core casting of Jeffry Combs, Barbara Crampton, David Gale and Bruce Abbot was…simply put. Perfect. It was perfect casting, at the perfect time for them to be cast and they all pretty much give the performances of their respective careers. I honestly cant imagine these characters being played or portrayed by any other actor. Its TOO perfect. They all absolutely got on board with the tone of the film and completely committed to the brief. Its a rare sight to see in cinema. But this film manages it.

And tying all this together in one delightful bow, the soundtracks rock solid for this film as well. Its synthy slightly rocky poppy stuff. I liked it, as a minor criticism i’d argue that outside of the theme tune, there isnt really another BIG scoring hit for this one…but consistant and good is always a winner to me.

‘Reanimator’ is a film I really wished i’d checked out sooner. My first watch was 3-4 years ago and frankly I should have seen this decades ago. The perfect match up to movies like ‘Return of the Living Dead’ if you havent seen ‘Reanimator’ You need to go see ‘Reanimator’…if you HAVE seen ‘Reanimator’…go watch ‘Reanimator’.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/re-animator/

Watched on Sunday February 25, 2024.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/death-o-lantern/1/

Watched on Saturday February 24, 2024.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/die-b-que/1/

I had never seen ‘Gremlins’ 1 or 2 before, but in recent months I’ve been asked to talk about it on a podcast, so I figured now was as good a time as any to really give them a spin.

I really had a soft spot for the original, it balanced light comedy and cuteness with a wonderfully hard PG13 black comedy edge that really won me over. So I was quite excited to see how things developed with ‘Gremlins 2’…unfortunately for me, it seems to have been a case of ‘wrong tone in the wrong headspace’

the film picks up a few years after the original, the old man who was looking after Gizmo has passed away and Gizmos been grabbed and sent to ‘Clamp industries’ basically a parody of Trumps businesses in the 80s. where he’s been sent to the genetics lab for experimentation. Billy and Kate are in new york as they’re now employed by clamp as an artist and tour guide respectively. Gizmo gets wet, the gang end up back out in force and they seize Clamp tower with the aim to take over the world…but now with some cool genetic powerups added in as part of hte deal.

Im gonna keep this one brief, but basically. I dont think I was really in the right headspace to appreciate this movie. Tonally, its leaned MUCH more heavily into appealing to children and more mature themes that helped give the original ‘Gremlins’ bite, has been toned down a little bit in favour of much more slapsticky over the top ness.

I mean, the film opens and closes with a loony toons bit directed by Chuck Jones and that pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the film. But the problem is its SO aggressively trying to be daffy weird goofy humour, that if you were going intot his expecting a bit more of a ‘slow burn into chaos’ experience, your going to be sorely dissapointed. This things manic, overexcitable and I just was NOT in the headspace for screeching, screaming and over the top highly styalized visuals today.

the comedy is a bit hit or miss, the castings a bit hit or miss (Christopher Lee was a VERY delightful touch though) but…yeah, this wasnt one for me…not today at least. Its good! I cant fault it technically, the scripts lampooning of corporate american lifestyles and its aping of Trump was fun!…but I feel like this films better watched when your more in the mood for toony style humour.

I think this film has stronger highs than the original, but I also think limiting the potential audience with a tonal change is a shame. The original may not be QUITE as iconic as this one…but I could see myself watching the first film a LOT more than this one.

Next time I get the urge to catch something zany with a little bit of bite, i’ll absolutely be back for this thing…But today? I really struggled to get on with its vibe.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/gremlins-2-the-new-batch/

A few years ago I covered the original ‘Little Heroes’ over on my youtube channel and I remember it being a tonally messy, badly paced drawn out picture that would *probably* hold the attention of a 6 year old for about 60 minutes, but not for much past that and generally gave off the stink of ‘Home Alone’ knock off…

WELL! Im having concentration issues at the minute, so I figured tonight was a good time to try ‘Dog Story: Little Heroes 2’ to see what i’ve been missing in the 4 and a half year gap…the answer is…not a tremendous amount.

The film picks up…lets sayyyy…12 months after the events of the first movie, Charlie and his dad are hanging out with Charlies ‘Aunt Karen’ (His mums in New York on business) and Charlie and Karen are about to head out on a little vacation on a naval base as Karen works in PR for the Navy and Charlie will take any excuse to be near weapons of mass destruction…

While exploring the battleships and radar dishes however, Hercules and Sampson (the titular ‘Little Heroes’ who are also along for the ride) spot an old fisherman fall into the dock and begin to drown, naturally the pair save him and as a result a press conference is called in which the dogs get a city medal of achievement and Charlie and Karen are treated to an all expenses paid vacation at Universal Studios Orlando™ with an all access VIP pass…im…im not sure why they’re getting something out of the deal but…*shrugs*…

Meanwhile our Criminals from the first film have been plagued with adorable nightmares of Sampson and Hercules in cute little costumes torturing and tormenting the pair. They end up in a Neurotherapy session where the doctor explains that in order to resolve their trauma, they need to find the dogs and make peace with them. Which…they cant do because their in Jail.

Luckily for them, they ACCIDENTALLY escape when they get jumped by some of the prisoners and after an explosion of suds in the laundry room they fall down a laundry chute and into the back of a wagon, that JUST SO HAPPENS to be stopping about 20 minutes away from Universal Studios Orlando™ . and…What follows is basically an extended commercial for the theme park, with the baddies getting caught up and injured by the various ‘stunt rides’ at the park while trying to find the dogs, while Charlie and Karen have fun on rides inspired by Jaws, Jurassic Park, and they get to hang around with Woody Woodpecker, Xena, Charlie Chaplin and Frankenstein…thats the rest of the movie. It essentially turns into a vacation home movie crossed with an advert for a theme park.

The big positive I WILL get out of the way here (and why I actually prefer this film a bit more than the original) is that the script itself is a bit tighter than the first offering. they actually decide to stay pretty grounded in slapsticky ‘Stooge-esq’ humour for the most part, theres no jarring tonal changes, its poor comedy…but its a lot more solid than last time.

I think it also works in the films favour that they make the bad guys trying to get closure the main drive of the film, rather than putting Charlie back in the driving seat. The villains of the piece are much more charismatic and enjoyable to be around (they’re VERY annoying…so I hope that helps establish just HOW BAD everyone else is) and I think giving them an actual arc, chracter development and a purpose really helps give this thing a bit more life. despite it being a story about amazing hero dogs and their well connected boy genius. Giving the baddies the floor on this one actually kind of helped give the film a bit more character I found…

Its also technically a lot more proficient too, the direction feels smoother, bigger budgeted. Im STILL in shock that this thing was shot of film. theres good colour use, consistant compositional choices and the director also edited this feature and its clear he’s learnt a lot since his last venture into cutting films.

All of the above however is essentially ‘the trimmings’…because what I also need to mention here…is that this is basically one LONG and in NO WAY SUBTLE commercial for Navy recruitment and Universal Studios Orlando™

The opening act goes out of its way to make out ‘HOW COOL THE NAVY IS!’ and how every boy, girl, man, woman or dog should DESPERATELY want to join the navy RIGHT NOW (yvan eht Nioj). which I thought was a terribly cynical move on the part of the film makers, especially in a kids film. But then around the end of the first act, they get bored with the Navy lark and suddenly it becomes a Universal studios commercial for the entire second act and a good chunk of the 3rd!

Literally, a good 35-45 minutes of this film is either Charlie or Karen REALLY trying to sell how fun the rides are at Universal, or it’s the baddies running around ‘Earthquake’ or getting beat up by King Kong…and it just doesnt stop. It felt in places like a brochure promo film. I kept expecting an (08) number to scroll across the bottom of the screen to confirm a reservation. Its so blatent in its intentions, it honestly cant be intepreted in any other way…its just…bizarre.

around that same time is when the padding kicks into high gear. realistically the film could have done its whole 3 acts in about 60 minutes. But thers AT LEAST 25 minutes of solid padding of just, the baddies talking about their next moves, or footage of the rides, or footage of people just…walking about. The thing is, I quite LIKED the semi commercial nature of this picture. But the padding actually talked me out of it. Its AWFUL in that sense and while technically theres a big improvement, I have to ask what the point was if they were just going to throw that goodwill away to try and hawk tickets to a theme park or set Billy up for a future in the armed forces.

Oh! and the performances are about the same quality as the first film (most of the original cast are back, and its only a year on…sooooo I wasnt really expecting much in that department) I feel them leaning into comedy harder does work in the films favour though. And the soundtrack is SO cheap and synthy its unreal. I hated it.

‘Little Heroes 2’ is not an original film. its trying DESPERATELY to piggy back off of a TON of other more recognisable brands and businesses (see: the promotional material. Which was trying to cash in on ‘Toy Story’…despite a total non conneciton being present)

The problem with that stratagey is, unless your film is AS GOOD as the brands that appear in it…or is infamously bad…you just end up making the audience want to watch or do something else instead.

This film IS better than the original, but dont expect an actual well written and coherent work. its 80% commercial bolted onto 20% one note (but consistent) plotting. I didnt hate it, I probably wont watch it again on its own…vaguely recommended if you wanna explore knock off home alone movies or have a strong love and nostalgia for Universal Studios Orlando™ in the late 90s…but otherwise, its a hard pass.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/little-heroes-2/

If you ever wanted to know what a cocain fueled 80’s ‘adult’ take on ‘Mary Poppins’ would look like…buckle in.

The plot follows Terry, a travelling ‘marriage saver’ by which I mean she’s a sexy live in maid who helps rekindle couples sex drives by boinking them both and arranging sexy parties…Thats basically the movie. Our couple’s sex life has fallen on the rocks (seemingly because the wife doesnt give head) and Terry is bought in to jumpstart the marriage again…Their next door neighbour Dom (Ron Jeremy) becomes captivated by Terry and does everything in his power to get to her. Terry obliges. Everything gets sorted out…Oh and the house has a robot (featured in the poster art) that Terry puts a strap on onto and then has it parade around the house having sex with both Terry and the guests…

As a movie? Its fiiiine, the plots a little about the ordinary, but if it wasnt for the robot and some strangeness from Jeremy, it would be a fairly by by the numbers picture. its tonally a little campy which is nice, the pacings pretty solid, though the sex scenes themselves do go on for a little bit longer than i’d like without much of a shakeup in the variety.

Directions fine enough, they manage to capture the warm closeness that erotica requires. But while its above most of the lower budgeted efforts of the time, and it DOES look the part, it never really goes much above that which is a real shame.

The sex scenes themselves are shot professionally and have clearly been well thought out and choreographed. Apart from some pacing issues (which…I really put more down to the editing as the film is DESPERATE to make it to feature runtime) its all above board.

The cine is fine with good use of lighting, coloured gels and B-roll, the compositions are largely solid, but as mentioned the edit is a little on the sluggish side as it tries to pinch an inch wherever it can.

The performances are solid, they’re a bit more on the comedic bubbly side which is nice, and everyone seems to be having fun shooting this goofy little picture.

The only thing that does drag the film down is the score, which is TOTALLY out of tone and vibe with the rest of the film, in fact for the majority of the movie the music would imply the cast were in imminant danger or about to be victim of some kind of atrocity…which is odd or such a lighthearted picture…but there y’go.

All in all? its above average, but I wouldnt say it was one of the greats. a few moments of eccentricity on the part of the film makers isnt *quite* enough to fully win me over. But its technically proficient and the script does the job fine enough. I dont regret watching it, but I just wish they’d leaned into the campy oddness a little bit more.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/amber-aroused/

Very likely to be one of the luckiest things to happen in cult cinema history, When filming on ‘Flesh for Frankenstein’ got ahead of schedule, and it was realised that an entire second movie realistically could be shot using pretty much the same cast, locations and props as ‘Flesh’ Paul Morrissey rose to the challenge and delivered…BIZARRELY. a work that is somehow even BETTER than the film they were ACTUALLY originally sent to film.

While I personally will always lean more towards ‘Flesh for Frankenstein’ in terms of its totally mad performances and off the wall direction, cine and scripting. ‘Blood for Dracula’ feels like a much MUCH more focussed and crystalized iteration of Paul Morrisseys creative prowesse.

The plot? In essence, Dracula and his family are dying, they require virgins blood in order to maintain their lifeforce, anything less will weaken them, and if they dont find ANY blood, they’ll be dead within weeks. So…the count takes it upon himself to head out to a small town in Italy to try and court an upper middle class family into parting with one of their daughters, so that the family may feast.

Little does he realise, but Italian culture is VERY different from his own Romanian living…and that the daughters he’s trying to abduct are almost all DEFINITELY NOT virgins.

And…thats basically the plot. But its the execution of this that is honestly so mezmorising. The script, with less to process or explain than ‘Flesh’ feels SO much more foucussed and concise in telling its tale. Its a rock solid 3 acts with invisibly smooth gear changes between each act, tonally its much more paired back than ‘Flesh’ instead going for a kind of explosive intrusive dementedness, rather than ‘Fleshes’ out and out, bordering on the ‘Tommy Waisau’ levels of ultra campy over the topness.

Here, we just have unsettling weird awkwardness…But its played in such a way that its just…captivating. You’re waiting on every single scene change to find out what Udo Kier is going to do next with the character, what utterly bizarre line of dialogue is going to come out of the casts mouth…what could POSSIBLY be just around the corner.

What IS nice about this film though is that it feels much more in line with ‘traditional film making’ values. ‘Flesh’ at times felt a little abstract, like the film makers were exploring the medium itself and trying to ram as much in as possible. Here, the script is just a rock solid attempt at telling a story, and the visuals and tones delivered in the performances are what really elevate it into something really quite special.

The direction is rich, vivid, sumptuous and crystal clear in its intentions, whereas ‘Flesh’ was a little looser on nailing down exactly what it wanted to do, this films almost militant in wanting to revel in the luxurious locations, the set spaces and the surrounding villages where the film was shot. Its gorgeous, and the recent Severin films 4k release REALLY brings out all the vivid and beautiful location work to their fullest. Theres a kind of genius in the way this film is presented that really does feel like lightning in a bottle.

Same goes for the direction of the cast, everyone barring Udo Kier is clearly instructed, given a little wiggle room to improvise and seems to be really seizing the opportunity to just do something that seems quite unrestricted and fun. Everyone seems to be in lock step about what they want to do, everyone seems to know what the brief is, its as close to perfect with this kind of film as its likely to get really.

Why did I omit Udo here? Because Udo Kier here is on another plain of reality. In what is arguably the greatest performance of his career, he’s positively ethereal. Giving a performance that sincerely feels like a shapeshifting alien who isnt built to last on earth was shown a 5 minute video about early 70s culture, and then told to try and blend in seamlessly with humanity. Its unsettling, and he throws himself so totally into the role, that when you see him vomiting up blood and convulsing uncontrollably, you genuinely do begin to get a little worried that he isnt causing himself some harm of some kind. Its astounding honestly and easily one of the best performances of the era.

The cine is equally gorgeous, rich focussed. I’ve got no beef with it, shots are excellently composed, theres more than enough B-roll to go around, the sequences are expertly crafted, not one frame is badly handled. Its excellently executed.

While the cast really do nail the brief, and Udo is a force unto himself. I didnt *quite* enjoy the performances as much as ‘Flesh’ if im being totally honest. While theres nothing inherently wrong with the acting in this film. I personally do just like films that are a little more bombastic, and while this film trades in its subtlety excellently. If I had to be honest. it can get a little dry in places. Which is probably the worst thing I can say about this film really.

The scorings superb, better than ‘Flesh’…Look. Subjectively, I can only admit that this film takes what lessons were learnt from ‘Flesh’ and it builds on that experience to produce something that in almost every technical level surpasses ‘Flesh’.

HOWEVER; If I was asked which of the two i’d prefer to watch. I’d probably still go for ‘Flesh’. It’s imperfections give it the edge for me. But You’ll honestly be hard pressed to find a better vampire movie of the 70s than this. Its a mind altering experience that absolutely has earned its place on my shelf…and even though I wont be watching regulalry. When I do get a taste for ‘Blood for Dracula’ the fact that it’ll be within reach makes me feel SO much more comfortable.

Go watch this thing. Seriously.

source https://letterboxd.com/tytdreviews/film/blood-for-dracula/