The “Never Say Never Again” (1983) Comedy Dining Experience

While our good friend Roger was having an “Eggcellent” time working on “Octopussy” An evil cabal of writers, media personalities and satanists were performing a secret virginal sacrifice to the gods of “Why did this need to exist” in order to restore an ancient evil who’s toupee contained within its woven fabrics untold horrors that had been sealed successfully away in 1972.

They succeeded and Randy Grampa was resurrected to unleash more terror and casual sexism upon the unsuspecting crowd of 1980’s New Wave hipsters who…quite rightfully dismissed and disowned the film as the utter work of evil that it is.

This week, Dan and Ben take one for the team…in more ways than one. Still! we get some good stories out during the commentary, so it wasnt all to waste its just…ugh…Im really not a Connery fan. The guy had like…2…maybe 3 good bond movies…the rest…ugh.

UGH.

The Ninja Sqaud (1986)

I cant believe it took almost 5 years to get onto a Godfrey Ho movie! Since this review was published I have been made aware that I’ve covered a couple of movies that Ho was *rumoured* to have worked on and in one case a film he was responsible for supervising distribution in the west for.

But this is the first out and out indisputable Ho movie to come through the doors of TYTD towers and, while all the Ho tropes are here, it’s…not exactly his best known work. it’s a fine enough movie. I just dont really think it delivers the full Ho clout that say “Ninja Terminator” would.

That being said! I do hope to cover more Ho in future! going so far as to pick up Gold Ninja Videos “Ninja Vortex” set so that I can really bring out the best of Ho in future!

Really; thats one of the only problems with doing this channel on a weekly basis, given how long it takes to write, record and edit each episode I can only really produce 1 maybe 2 videos a week tops (and im stretched at that!) I also have a MASSIVE pile of martial arts movies to go through even with the 7 movie Ho pack out of the equation! I just wish I had more time to put to the channel honestly as some of these martial arts movies have been in my collection “to watch” since before I even STARTED doing reviews…anyway! Godfrey Ho! pink ninjas! its all good! give it a watch!

This poster says NOTHING about the movie. and because all the colours are kind of on the same side of the colour wheel it doesnt really make anything stand out. it just looks like a load of variations of red splatted on the poster. needs more distinction.

The American Ninja 4: The Annihilation (1990)

As part of the 2nd half of our 5th anniversairy celebrations, im going to be dipping into the vaults to cover some movies that, in the past, i’d promised to get round to at some point. and kicking this off we’re finally putting a lid on “The American Ninja” series. I’ve been covering the sequels now for almost as long as the channels been in existence. and with the exception of the first film (which I intend to do a ‘Comedy Dining Experience’ on at some point in the future) we’ve finally arrived at the final chapter here. and WHAT a dissapointing wind down it was.

Im not going to say much more because, honestly, my review here says all there is to say. But I will say that I still find it frankly ASTOUNDING that they had two decently sized action stars in this film and they utilised them in probably the most cack handed way it’s possible to handle these things. I left BEYOND dissapointed. but yeh! after 5 years! we’re bringing this series to a close!

I really like this poster, its such a shame it’s in NO way reflective of the film itself.

The “For Your Eyes Only” (1981) Comedy Dining Experience

Well! it’s November! (at least according to the upload date!) and Dan and Ben are back on the bond once again! this time taking on “For your eyes only” honestly; its been so long since this one went out and the film was SO forgettable (barring the awesome theme tune) that I literally got nothing for this one! we were ACE! probably the best funny people ever (probably) and you should DEFINITELY watch this one RIGHT NOW.

FOR YOUUURRR EYEES ONLYYYYYYYY!!!

Best of the Best 2 (1993)

Oh how the mighty have fallen. I wanted to like this one, I really did. but honestly it’s a total nothing of a film. a totally wasted opportunity thats so forgettable, that apart from the colosseum sections and being angry that Eric Roberts got top billing despite barely doing ANYTHING for the vast majority of the runtime. I can bearly remember anything about this film.

The original film was quite a decent effort, and set the bar very high on a sequel. I didnt expect the sequel to do better than the original. but I didnt expect the quality to drop quite so quickly. This is a series where my excitement to see part 3 went from “Oh man I cant wait!” to “If I can be bothered… in less than 80 minutes.

To add insult to injury, I cant even really show you exactly whats wrong with this film as due to a spurious copyright claim by returning absolute bastard company “Lasso Entertainment” who blocked the video worldwide and abused the appeals process to make sure my review never saw the light of day. Fortunately I uploaded an audio only version, so while its not what I envisioned. at least you can kind of see where I was going (a fully uncensored version with video will be making its way up to breach.tv in the new year.)

The posters literally the best part of this movie, and is 10 times cooler than the film ever will be.

The “Chick Boxer” (1992) Comedy Dining Experience

Well! as part of my exploration into the life and career of J.R Bookwalter I sat down with some VERY pleasent people and we took a look at “Chick Boxer” one of the most notorious films in the “SOV Six Pack” collection. it was a real blast hanging with these guys and I really hope we get to do it again soon!

If you enjoy hearing my friends screams of pain you can find much more of their work at the below links:

George – Here
Chris – Here
G.G – Here

Maximum Impact (1992)

Given that Maximum impact was recorded in the same block as Chick Boxer its not surprising to hear that the film suffered similar issues to Chick Boxer. now it’s not a technical disaster like Chick Boxer is, but it DOES suffer from the issue of it being recorded around christmas time. So even though the “Professional” film makers had all piled into this project to get the job done. they were still having to deal with the uphill battle of having to contend attention wise with chirstmas and everything that came with it.

That not only mean dealing with actors who were too busy shopping to remember their lines, but they also had to deal with crew who had the same issue and plummeting tempratures across the board. it really was a terrible time to decide to make 2 movies back to back. But…these guys did it. It means that, no matter how bland or just…not quite there this film is. they still managed to power through and deliver an end product thats actually not that bad. looking back on the set i’d say that Chick Boxer was the definite low point of the set in terms of production quality. but if we plotted a graph it would show a “V” shape almost. and Maximum impact would be on the other side of that sharp dip. the films that came after this. in their own way are entertaining (if not technically lacking) but this movie? I can at least applaud it that its TRYING to be good. J.R and crew hadnt thrown in the towel, they wanted to make this work and despite its GLARING flaws. I think I have to applaud a film that tries over one that doesnt every time.

This one also has the honour of having the modern artwork look the closest to it’s original artwork. I think it looks good…even if it doesnt really tell you anything about the film itself.

Chick Boxer

I had a rather pleasent surprise while these reviews were going live. JR Bookwalter the man himself was doing a live stream Q&A for a new release for makeflix and I dropped in to ask a question about whether he’d ever consider getting back into directing (his answer was “never say never!” so here’s hoping for the SOV 12 pack in 2024!) but while watching he mentioned in passing that he’d actually been checking out a couple of these reviews as they dropped! which…well I was honestly quite beside myself as, while I have had the odd director, DOP, Cam Op or in one specific case producer drop by to tell me about how their movie sucked, or that they were grateful for my honesty. i’ve never had someone say that live, on video. TO ME.

Anyway; I mention that because this was the review he referenced specifically when he said he’d seen a couple of the reviews I’d done. and…if you’ve seen my review of this in advance of reading this post. you’ll know that I was not a fan of this movie…didnt care for it at all…hates a strong word but I do believe I said this movie was “The kind of film you take to a bad movie night when you dont like anyone in attendence.” which was then quoted in a tweet by J.R Bookwalter himself. POSITIVELY I might add!…but still. he hates this movie. I…didnt care for this movie. most people i’ve shown this film to (Because im an evil fuck) hated this movie. this is not a good movie. the poster and title is about as good as it gets.

In my minds eye I imagined Chick boxer to be a kind of gritty “Rocky” type flick. y’know, a young girl is bullied or harrassed or…I dunno SOMETHING happens. and she decides to “Get tough” cue several training montages and eventually said weedy girl is now a martial artist taking on the scum of the streets vigilante style, with the papers and police not really knowing what to make of her. almost like what was done in “Robot Ninja” but without the super hero costume and the scene where a guy removes and inserts weird tubes into his arm.

Instead we got…well I’ll let the review do the rest of the work.

This cover is the best thing about the movie. and it took nearly 30 years for it to happen.

Who Killed Captain Alex (2010)

And so we’ve arrived at the end of another season of TYTD Reviews. and ironically one of the first scripts I planned for the series WAAAAAY back in October 2020 ended up being the closer on this season nearly 9 months later.

I was first put on the case of the Wakaliwood scene during the summer of 2020 when a discord I frequent mentioned it as being something that’d really be my kind of happening. So; when the black friday sales came up for Vinegar Syndrome and AGFA I picked up their frankly next level package of “Who Killed Captain Alex” and “Bad Black” and it proceeded to totally blow me away.

I knew then and there that I wanted to cover one (or both) of these movies in the next season of reviews. The original plan was to review “Who Killed Captain Alex?” and then follow it up with a “Comedy Dining Experience” commentary for “Bad Black” but due to scheduling, planning issues and other boring things that always get in the way of a good time, we couldnt make it align up. which is a shame. I still plan to do SOMETHING with “Bad Black” I just dont really know exactly what just yet.

But yeh; Here’s the last review before our summer break. we’ll be dropping comedy dining experiences throughout July and August and there may still be one more surprise in store before we start on Season 10. all I’ll say for now is I hope you all have a happy and safe summer. and we’ll see you back for the next full season in August.

This is one of the few instances where the poster LITERALLY tells you everything you need to know about the film perfectly.