The “Never Say Never Again” (1983) Comedy Dining Experience

While our good friend Roger was having an “Eggcellent” time working on “Octopussy” An evil cabal of writers, media personalities and satanists were performing a secret virginal sacrifice to the gods of “Why did this need to exist” in order to restore an ancient evil who’s toupee contained within its woven fabrics untold horrors that had been sealed successfully away in 1972.

They succeeded and Randy Grampa was resurrected to unleash more terror and casual sexism upon the unsuspecting crowd of 1980’s New Wave hipsters who…quite rightfully dismissed and disowned the film as the utter work of evil that it is.

This week, Dan and Ben take one for the team…in more ways than one. Still! we get some good stories out during the commentary, so it wasnt all to waste its just…ugh…Im really not a Connery fan. The guy had like…2…maybe 3 good bond movies…the rest…ugh.

UGH.

The “For Your Eyes Only” (1981) Comedy Dining Experience

Well! it’s November! (at least according to the upload date!) and Dan and Ben are back on the bond once again! this time taking on “For your eyes only” honestly; its been so long since this one went out and the film was SO forgettable (barring the awesome theme tune) that I literally got nothing for this one! we were ACE! probably the best funny people ever (probably) and you should DEFINITELY watch this one RIGHT NOW.

FOR YOUUURRR EYEES ONLYYYYYYYY!!!

“The Monster Club” (1981) Comedy Dining Experience

Well Halloween may have been and gone, but that doenst mean I cant bring this little slice of horror to the table! and WHAT a recording this was. we ended up talking for almost an hour before we even hit record and almost as soon as the credits had finished I was immediately dragged out of the house to move a sofa. Total. CHAOS. and it turned into one of my favourite recordings.

Special thanks to Triv of Trivial Theater for joining us on this months recording. if you enjoyed her presence you can find WAY more of her stuff by clicking here.

The Ice Cream Man (1995) Comedy Dining Experience

This week! we have a visitor joining us on the comedy dining experience in the form of George from “The Best Little Horror House in Philly!” and the journey this episode took to get from recording to screen is frankly amazing. we recorded this episode alongside our commentaries for “On her Majesty’s Secret Service” and “Nutbag” this was the 3rd film in that block which rounded off the night…the night of November the 14th 2020! yes. this commentary is almost 8 months old before it even saw the light of day! Why did this end up happening? Unfortunately it all fell down to Scheduling. y’see, we try to do a Bond film every other month and I also try to not do two films of the same genre back to back one after another. which; unfortunately due to some last minute rearranging meant this absolutely fantastic cast ended up being pushed back and back in order to get it out at the best possible time.

So! with sincere apologies to George for taking SO damn long to get this out (And I highly recommend you head over to his cast and give him some love. he does a damn fine job with his show and is always guarenteed to raise a laugh!) Grab yourself a tub of your favourite flavour of ice cream. shave your head back to an uncomfortably receeding hairline and make sure you’ve got the right amount of change! Because “The Ice Cream Man” …is an experience.

The “Diamonds are Forever” (1971) Comedy Dining Experience

Im not going to lie, the Christmas schedule this year was a bit of a weird one. this could kind of be considered a last minute decision as I still hadnt really decided what would be the last commentary me and Ben would do to round out 2020 even a week before this one went live. initially I wanted to try and get myseld, Laura and Ben together to record 2 commentaries for December, a Bond film and a traditional Christmas movie (Something like; “A Christmas Carol” or “It’s a Wonderful Life” even a comedy like “Jingle all the way” or “National Lampoons Christmas Vacation” but there was a bit of resistence on all sides to the idea.

Laura wasnt feeling too well through most of December and didnt feel up to it, and Ben was super busy juggling everything that was going on over “A Very Lockdown Christmas” alongside his feeling that “We shouldnt really do ‘Comedy’ movies, they’re not fun to talk over because it’s rare that you’ll be able to top the jokes going on in the movie and you kind of have to watch a comedy in order to appreciate it.” which, when he put it like that. totally made sense to me.

but that then left the problem of “What do we put out then!?” Since bringing the 2nd hand laptop into play we’ve been able to meet up monthly and record a couple of movies each time we hang out. in fact; at the time of writing we have 6 commentaries in the bag and when we do our next session in February we should have episodes that run right the way up to mid July. essentially the choice ultimately boiled down to, we could put up a non bond movie with a special guest as a bit of a bonus treat, or we could put out a Bond film and see the year out in style.

Ultimately; we settled on the Bond movie for 3 reasons:

A – In the UK; It’s just isnt christmas if there isnt a Bond movie going playing somewhere.

B – This Is Sean Connery’s last “Canon” Bond film and it seemed right to tie off his era and leave the whole damn thing in 2020 rather than dragging it into 2021

C – This film is ULTRA campy, surreal and we had a lot of fun with this commentary

So with all of that in mind. it seemed like a no brainer! anyway! here’s Diamonds are Forever. the last canon adventure with Randy Grampa…though it will be FAR from the last time we hear off him!

Happy new year all!

I sure hope this cashino doeshnt have any Shpiders…

The “Hocus Pocus” (1993) Comedy Dining Experience

Happy Halloween everyone! Yes it’s late, Yes it’s nearly December. but goddamnit I have to catch up on this damn website one way or another…ANYWAY. This was the VERY LAST commentary that Me, Ben and Laura recorded together before Covid hit the UK in such a way that a full scale national lockdown was called. In fact this is a rather special recording in the sense that it was done literally the night before I was told I would be working from home for the foreseeable and only 4 days before the national lockdown was called. We spent the evening together, ate pizza, hung out, drank and laughed our asses through what was probably the last group get together we’re likely to have this year and for the forseeable.

While their are more commentaries on the way its been a bit of a trial and error process to get them done, in the interim we trialled doing these remotely with mixed results due to lack of hardware. one episode worked fine, one episode had problems and one was unusable. Between you and me, when the restrictions were at their lowest and we were allowed to meet indoors in groups of 6 or less Ben was also able to pop round to get 3 more recordings done with me which should take us up to February at least. But as a way of safeproofing the show going forward, just before the 2nd lock down kicked in 3 days ago (Thursday the 5th of November) I managed to secure a 2nd hand laptop that with a bit of TLC and some part replacements is now running better than my own work laptop and Bens now hooked up and *Touch wood* should be able to record remotely MUCH MUCH more smoothly than before.

We’ll know the answer in a couple of days when we do a full audio test. but for now. thats the basket we’re putting all our eggs into as it’s looking unlikely we’re going to be able to meet up again until early next year at the soonest.

Anyway; I’ve gone a bit too much! here’s Hocus Pocus! we had a real blast doing this one, and we spend the majority of it talking about our old halloweens. which was really nice.

The Poster for this movies brilliant. but this promo shots most excellent too!

The “You Only Live Twice” (1967) Comedy Dining Experience

Well! once again due to a HELL of a lot of things going on in my life theres been a slight delay in getting these episodes up on the site. BUT! that ends today! as I bring you the next entry in our Bond movie marathon! this and the next episode due up shortly were both the last 2 episodes me and Ben recorded together before the first Lockdown took effect. They were recorded in very late February/Very early March time back before any social distancing was even a required thing! SO! pop on your nostalgia goggles as we head back to a simpler time. when two good friends who live and work in different parts of the same city could sit next to each other in a room and eat sweets from a shared bowl without having to hand sanitize.

This poster is just TOO much!

The “Thunderball” (1965) Comedy Dining Experience

Once again! we’re back and I hope you’ve bought your phone with you because believe me, you’ll need it for some of this. As myself and Ben take a look at the 1965 Bond slog that is “Thunderball” a film that revolutionised the world of Underwater cinema. And while I can be grateful to it for probably enhancing movies like “Jaws” I also cannot escape from the fact that this is over 2 hours long and mainly consists of people swimming, fighting and choking underwater.

So I hope this commentary helps to eliviate what is otherwise, probably the dullest action spy thriller you’ve ever sat through.