Braindead (Dead Alive) (1992)

Im ashamed that I left watching “Braindead” till as late in my life as I have. It’s not really considered a mainstream horror in the same way that the “Nightmare on elm streets”, “Friday the 13ths” and “Halloweens” of the world are…in a sea of slashers where the closest thing to compare it to would be “The Evil Dead 2” Braindead stands out by a country mile as a truely shocking and twisted slice of Dark horror comedy.

It had always been on the outskirts of my film viewing horizons. I’d seen clips from it over the years but for one reason or another i’d just never got round to watching it…I was still trying to get the “Classics” under my belt…missing by a country mile the classic I could have been watching all along with this beauty!

I decided when I finally did down this movie that I had a choice…I could either watch it in pristine bluray quality (Bootleg but definitely enjoyable) or I could watch it for the first time in mangled VHS-vision…I chose the latter and I really dont regret my choices. The general nastiness of this film is enhanced tremendously by the nasty, grainey and semi chewed up fuzz that VHS provides…I actually own the Rental copy of this movie…It came from a video shop in Rhyl (It still has all the stickers from the shop on it and everything!) and watching it back through the murk you really get a feeling for the history that this tapes been through in order to arrive in my collection. I really do treasure it…Until peter jacksons 4K remasters of these movies come out it’s the closest I’ve got to watching this film in it’s intended condition…Though equally if they were to do what they did with the “Nekromantik” Bluray and include a polished up Super clean cut…alongside a trashed “Grindhouse” cut I’d be terrifically grateful…

I’d love to see Jackson return to these kinds of films…controversial, shocking, and brilliantly wicked fun…I know he probably never will but I can dream!

 

(Also this is one of those films that has never quite been able to get it’s promotional marketing quite right…this is the best representation of the film I could find (The rental cover) and it says absolutely bugger all about the film itself…It just looks really cool…)

Octopus 2: River of Fear (2001)

This is one of those moments where I think I nailed my exact thoughts on this one perfectly through the video review.

Octopus 2 is not a good film. But just writing that really doesn’t do a service to just how craptacularly awful it is…while we’re not exactly in “Let’s ruin dad’s day” territory. We are worryingly close. Which does concern me…

All I can really tell you about this is that they stopped at Octopus 2 and having suffered through this movie so that you can get an idea of why you should avoid this like a plague rat all I can really say is, just don’t do it.

EDIT: So! todays been eventful! I originally wrote this post quite quickly while on a break at work and very shortly after I wrote it I recieved an email from youtube telling me that this video had been blocked worldwide by “Lasso Entertainment” for a 1 minute section that had been clocked as containing there “Visual content”.

Now; Apart from the fact that “Lasso Entertainment” dont even own the rights to “Octopus 2” this video is covered by fair use as I only use a small portion of the overall movie to help justify my opinions on the film. I use non of the audio (Not that that really matters) so I find it very difficult to see why they think it’s okay to hit me with one of these strikes. I naturally contacted Lasso almost immediately to try and get this resolved but they refused to respond to me and as a result i’ve had to reupload this video with approximately 1 minute and 1 second cut out. I can only apologise and hope that fewer of these kind of incidents happen in future.

(I much prefer the UK DVD cover for “Octopus 2” the US poster makes it look way more interesting than it actually is…)

Phantom from Space (1953)

I was expecting better from “Phantom from Space” when I first popped it on. One of the joys of having an ongoing review series on youtube is that theres a constant feeling that I need to keep things varied. For example; I dont want to have too many action movies grouped together, or martial arts movies, or horror movies.

Doing that can make things a bit stale and unless I do themed months (Like last years Halloween run or this years “Alternative Doctor who” season) I always try my best to create a bit of distance between similar genre inspired films.

It’s been a good while since I did an old B-movie. Ring of Terror would be my last dip into the world of rubbish public domain 50’s and 60’s cinema and that was over 3 months ago! So I thought it was probably time to dust off the old “Mill Creek entertainment” sets and pick out another classic to spotlight.

“Phantom from space” was a title that immediately jumped out at me. it sounded spooky, ominous even. I was having visions of space based phantasms flying through the skies picking off members of the public and generally being very scary. The reality was much less so (As the review will testify) but I have to admit to having a bit of a “Guy with a sore tooth” fixation on old sci-fi movies like this. I hate them. I absolutely cant abide them unless they’re genuinely groundbreaking (Like “The Day the earth stood still” or many of the Toho movies) but I just keep coming back to them and I really cant shake them.

As it stands I still have about 120 of these movies left to cover so do expect more public domain oddities in future but for now I can only apologise for the boredom im about to unleash.

(NORMAL VIEW!!!!….NORMAL VIEWWW!!!!!!!!)

The Threads Comedy Dining Experience (2018)

Something a bit different today and a bit of a bonus here. While working with Ben on producing the Public information films special we had some downtime and we decided to watch the feelgood film of the 80’s “Threads” better still we recorded the experience which I present to you here as a fully functioning feature commentary!

(Warning!: this is not as well researched or thought out as my typical reviews, throughout this both me and Ben are drinking and enjoying the finest takeaway my city has to offer…this is much more laid back and mainly for fun…with that in mind I hope you enjoy…)

Power to the P.I.F! – Public information films: A Retrospective (2018)

I did it! One year on Youtube and it’s a double celebration because with this article the entire site is now backdated which in turn means I can finally make this site public to the public! So Hello if you’ve seen my nightmare fueled advert and welcome! you’ll find plenty around here to keep you busy so please feel free to leave a comment or say hi!

Public information films have been something that i’ve been interested in for a number of years, as a kid I mainly remember the “Think” campaign but there were many others that happened around this time that really stuck in my mind.

It wasnt really until I met my very good friend Ben that I discovered there was an active following for public information films, and that further more he’d been collecting them for years. we’d swap stories of P.I.F’s from around the world regularly and he’d happily point me to some form of carnage as and when he found it. Ben produced a documentary called “Out of your tiny minds” or something similar (Titled from the pif that shares the same name) So when it came to tackling these films I really couldnt think of anyone better to help me. I really cant thank him enough for giving up his time to help me make this and to do it right.

It was very difficult to decide which public information films would make it into this special and which wouldnt, but after the positive response i’ve recieved from this video i’ll almost certainly do a follow up in future. Though quite when that’ll be I couldnt honestly say.

For now though, im happy. A year might not seem like a long time to be doing youtube but it’s been an eye opening experience and I really hope Im here this time next year telling you just how excited I am to have been here now for 2 years!

Thank you to everyone who’s regularly tuned in and followed me on this Journey it really means a lot and thank you in particular to everyone who’s reached out and offered either video recommendations or collaboration opportunities. you’ve really made me feel very welcome and I hope there are many further good times ahead.

 

(Warning! the rabies P.I.F is in this episode…you know the one…well you’ve been warned now it’s out of my hands…)

Tales from the QuaDead zone (1987)

I have never honestly seen a film quite like “Tales from the QuaDead zone” I’ve been aware of Shot on Video (More affectionately known stateside as shot on Shitteo) for years but theres seemingly a major gulf in quality when it comes to the shot on tape genre.

On the one side you have genuine attempts at producing a quality product on a limited budget, these lo-fi cinemasterpieces push the boundaries of tape as a format and are usually produced by film makers who would go onto make great things.

On the other side of the spectrum however you have films like QuaDead, in which all sanity and reason gives way to unregulated pandemonium. This film and films of it’s ilk are atrociously made with no technical skill implemented on almost any level. But what sets this film apart from all the others is its heart. This film has soul. it has feeling. in a world where there are hundreds if not thousands of shot on video movies out there that desperately want to be better movies and are distinctly dead behind the eyes “QuaDead zone” positively oozes character and feels very much like it desperately wants to stand on its own.

In that respect it more than does this successfully. and While I havent seen any of Chesters other films just yet. The two that he has produced are both truely unique viewing experiences that I can highly recommend you check out.

 

(The Soundtrack is craptacular. and I wish I had this box art as a T-shirt)

House (1985)

Season 4! And at the time of writing we’re on the day before my first anniversairy with youtube! These decriptions may end up thinning out a little bit from here on in, mainly due to the fact that when I started writing these overviews of the episodes there was a 10-11 month gap and I’d had plenty of time to re-evaluate my thoughts and feelings about each episode as they went by whereas I watched and recorded my review of house in late January/early February.

As a result its still fairly fresh in my mind, and this is only going to become more commonplace as things go along. Though “House” has been a bit of an interesting ride of highs and lows since my first viewing of it. In my mind I keep flip-flopping between thinking it was a good bit of fun and that I’d really look forward to watching the sequels, while at the exact same time a part of my brain thinks that it’s just a bit of a rubbish fluff and that I should probably put off watching any more of these for a while because I simply have much more interesting stuff I could be watching.

House isnt a perfect movie but since I watched it I think i’ve leaned more towards being interested in seeing more than I have had moments of wishing i’d never seen it. It reminded me a bit of an adult goosebumps. In the sense that it isnt exactly scary, but it is entertaining and has a spooky quality about it. It may come across to me a bit like a prototype of “The Burbs” but ultimately I guess its an enjoyable little movie in and of itself.

(The sequel to this looks absolutely mental…)

The Boogey Man (The Bogey Man) (1980)

I really wasnt expecting much from “The Bogey man” when I first put it on. The Video Nasties craze of the 1980s was a very sporadic period in the UK with dozens of titles being caught up in the frothing fever of trying to “ban the filth” and this meant that a few titles that really shouldnt have been listed as “Nasties” somehow got sweapt up in the hoopla.

I dont subscribe to the belief that the 1984 video recordings act was in anyway a good thing, I think it heavily censored creativity and drove the interest in these movies into the hands of the underground market where prices ran rampant and quality control was non existent. even if I did accept the act in some capacity (Which I most definitely do not) the consistency was all over the place, with films like “Cannibal Holocaust” and “Maniac Cop” being perfect examples of movies that quite reasonably could justify this act to a degree (They’re both very hard watches that are purposefully designed to be uncomfortable and shocking) through to movies like “The Evil Dead” and “Zombie Flesh Eaters” which while pushing the envelope a bit, were hardly going to “Corrupt the youth”. Conservative drive and a Newspaper driven campaign, only spurred on by the Mary whitehouse brigade only led to further confusion and unwarrented restrictions.

Arguably the most famous being a recurring issue in which police officers would repeatedly seize copies of “The Littlest Whorehouse in Texas” which is a PG comedy movie and copies of “Apocalypse now” which were passed by the BBFC being seized because it sounded too much like a Cannibal movie…only spurring things on and causing a rise in panic, incidents like “The Hungerford massacre” or the “James Bulger” case were sensationalised in the tabloids as being indisputable proof that violent films were corrupting people. In these incidents Hungerfords massacre happened because the killer watched “Rambo 3” (There was no proof of this…The only evidence given was that he’d worn a bandana when he committed the killings), and in the latter “Childs Play 3” was put to blame (Despite the fact that again there was no proof of this and the only evidence was that the killers father had rented the movie, not watched it, and returned it 2 days later) it was this incident that led to one of the “Last hurrah” moments of the Video nasty movement when the Sun ran with the sensationalist front page title “For the sake of ALL our kids Burn your video nasties”

Today barring a few seconds of animal cruelty here and there almost all of the original banned video nasties have not only been released but have been released officially multiple times both in standard and High definition. Theres only one video nasty that remains thats still been denied a classification, that’s “Love Camp 7” but a majority have now been released uncut. And being able to see these films for what they are and realise that a majority of them were purely on the list because of histeria is both eye opening and distressing to me.

The Boogey man is the perfect example of this. This movie has 2 graphic moments in it pretty much, and quite honestly theres much much worse out there. This shouldnt have been on the video nasties list and yet both this and the movies sequel (Which im told is a total and utter raging toxic sludge of a movie) were on the banned list with litte to no justification.

And its a pretty okay movie to boot!, its no masterpiece but I was really genuinely surprised by just how high quality it was when compared with some of the shinola on the banned list. it made it to my “Shelf of interest” as a quirky and slightly unusual oddity. One I’d reccommend you look out for.

(The Posters misleading as well…there are windows, women and shadowy figures in the movie…but not necessarily all at once)

Ring of Terror (1962)

This is quite easily one of the worst films I’ve ever seen. In fact had I not Let’s ruin dads day this would probably have been THE worst film I’ve ever seen. As it stands it occupies a very tight 3rd place position with the movie “Bikini Model Accademy”.

The biggest problem with this one is that it’s just so dull. It literally looks and feels like a teen comedy movie thats bookended by a horror movie. and the film seemingly forgets that it’s a horror movie about 10 minutes in. I’ve never seen such a blatant disregard for an audience before. This films going to tell the narrative it wants to tell and to hell with anyone who thinks that a film should be interesting or actually have a point.

I rag on this film throughout my review so I’ll save you effectively re-reading my thoughts on this one but since I made this review I can certainly say that my opinion on this one hasnt changed a bit. I still recall it being as dull, boring and a dredge of a watch as it most likely was when I first watched it.

The Mill creek Multipack DVD sets seem like relatively good value for money on paper (I paid £5 for 50 films which included this movie) but unless (Like me) your using these sets for your own personal amusement or for the benefit of a review/analysis series you do end up with a hell of a lot of duds. There are a few gems thrown into the mix (Gammera and Night of the living dead being good examples of this) but on the whole these sets are very spotty affairs.

I didnt know what to expect when watching this movie, I’d not seen or heard anything about it before watching it, and it surprised me in a terrifically bad way. only emphisisng that was when I finally went on IMDB and wikipedia to find terrible promotional material and somehow even worse prints of this movie than the one included on my set (which was pretty ropey to begin with) A disaster of a film that caught me completely off guard. watch it at your peril!

 

(The film poster in this thumbnail is literally the best thing about this movie…)

Francesca (2015)

This ones going to be a short one sadly, just simply because I dont have a whole lot to say about this one. it’s a bad movie. It’s not terrible., it’s competent. but it’s trying harder than it needs to to impress the audience with a “Look how clever I am” attitude. And it completely fails to capitalise on exactly why Giallo cinema is as enjoyable as it can be when in the right hands.

Giallo is all about suspense, all about tension. its about creating the illusion of peril on an almost constant basis. Movies like “Deep Red” or “Tenebre” thrive on being able to create an almost “Slow cooker” esq build of terror and thrills (And it looks damn fine while doing it) that reward the audience in spades. I dont often get surprised by the reveal in Giallo movies. But I appreciate the journey all the same.

Francesca by contrast isnt a slow building, bubbling pot of intreague. it’s a fairly tepid affair that im sure comes from a place of love to the genre but just comes across as a poor photocopy.

It’s a type of film that I catagorize as “Nice video, Shame about the song” (Made famous by the cast of “Not the nine oclock news”) its the idea that the film looks pretty (Which this one sort of does) but that it says nothing, has a poor script or is just flat out badly written. Francesca may have some fantastic advertising designs and some nice cine but its not worth a damn if the plots rubbish to begin with.

I also feel the need to somewhat apologise for this review as theres a glaring error towards the end where I forgot to drop the backing track at a couple of places and I also forgot to add in the “Where to skip to” point in order to avoid spoilers. I only noticed this well after the fact and short of re-uploading and losing all the views and comments associated with the video there wasnt a lot that could have been done. So my sincerest apologies and I hope it doesnt detrimentally effect your viewing experience.

(The “Twist” at the end of this film had me reaching for the Tylonol…bloody rubbish!)