Partially Reformed Content #7: We absolutely Guarentee (up to) (and including) (more than) (over) One year on…

Well, hello there!

If your reading this, then its time again for my annual “How my year went: In review” blog, which started as a monthly(ish) way for me to try and focus more on honing my written skills, and annually as a way to try and condense a whole 365 days worth of feelings into one unweildy long blog, and…then I discovered ‘Letterboxd’ so…now its just a fun annual bonus. and to be honest; when it came to 2024, I debated whether to write one of these at all…

Not because it was a depressing year or anything. But moreso that, everything thats happened this year has basically been at the forefront of my social media presence. So I feel like putting it all down here seems a bit pointless…Anyone who’s invested enough to read a multi page “Year in review” blog from some random English guy on the internet, is probably invested enough to have read the various community posts I’ve done on youtube, the updates i’ve posted in my Discord group, or the actual shout outs i’ve done about progress on the various live streams i’ve done through the year, or in my reviews themselves.

But, I figured it would probably act as a good ‘end point’/’epilogue’ to cap off the year with an overview of what my last 12 months has been like on all fronts. Mainly so I can just link people to this if they ask how my year went, rather than having to bust out the ‘lore’ guides!

So! 2024! a year essentially swallowed by life events. and not much else! We bought a house! and its time for me to tell you the ‘full’ story!

Belive me; It gets WILD.

So, I suppose a little bit of back story is required for this one. I’ve been with my partner now for around thirteen and a half years (tweleve and a half where this story begins) and about 4 years ago, I took part in a project at my workplace whereby they garnish (upto) £300 from your monthly salary for either 3 or 5 years. and, assuming you dont touch it for the duration of your investment period, they not only guarentee the money they take, but they’ll add onto it an extra 20% if you sit out the full 3 or 5 year period. Its a bit of a scam because my workplace has a LUDICROUSLY high turnover rate, but 3 years seems like a not unreasonable amount of time to have a job for. So I decided to take part in it. and, in March of 2024 it came to fruition.

Now, me and my partner had been talking about finally biting the bullet and getting a place together for a number of years. But, if your a long time reader of these blogs (god bless you <3) you’ll know that my partner has several disabilities, both mental and physical that meant that looking for a place was a bit of a non starter for a while, and while my job keeps me comfortable, it wasnt really good enough to save up ‘deposit on a house’ level income…Not without basically giving up every other thing I enjoy in the process…So this investment piece at work seemed like a good way to save a bundle, without having to worry about my sticky fingers dipping into the jar (seriously, its a pain in the ass to end it earlier, and im WAY to lazy to fuck around trying to close an account early.)

So! in December of 2023, with just 3 months left on my 3 year plan. I went to my partner and suggested that 2024 was probably going to be the best chance we’d have of making a go of living together. There were other factors as well, my partner had become increasingly unhappy in her living arrangements, she had a nice apartment space, but it was rented, the decor hadnt been updated in decades and had literally just been walloped with white paint when she first moved in 6 years prior…so it was looking shabby…But more importantly, she wanted a change, she wanted more space, a garden, a nice community to live in that wasnt constantly being reported to the police (In the 6 years she lived there, the complex had had the police called out for (in no particular order) 3 counts of arson, 2 murders, AT LEAST 3 suicides, several car thefts/damages to cars and a dozen or so public assault charges…and thats only the stuff we SAW/know happened…GOD knows what went on behind closed doors.) As you can imagine, being mentally and physically unwell in that kind of an environment wasnt ideal.

The Police were always friendly though!

So. We agreed. The plan was to start looking from February of 2024, with the rest of December and January basically being used to tie off all the fucking DREADFUL business that happened in 2023, and to inform folks that we were officially looking to move in together. Christmas ’23 went about as well as it could have gone given the circumstances, January was all a bit of a blur really, I spent a good chunk of my time trying to get as many youtube videos for the channel over the line as possible ahead of February, because I knew that once we got stuck into house stuff, I wasnt seeing the light of my editing console for a WHILE.

We started planning up what we were looking for in a property, putting hard lines in on what we would and wouldnt accept in a house, and around the second week of February, we started looking. We ultimately only went to around 4-5 viewings. most were unremarkable honestly. 3 of them were basically just not the right fit for us, whether it was rooms that were too small or that the work involved in getting them to a standard we’d want to live with would cost too much. Our 2nd to last viewing was VERY promising, it was a 2 story semi detached house that was home to a young couple who both ran small businesses, She worked in organic vegetable productiona and homeopathy, he was in a successful local band and did production work on the side.

Why am I telling you this? Because the garden on that place was HUGE, and they’d converted the loft (attic) space into a fully fledged recording studio. It was a match made in heaven…Until we made an offer and got laughed out of the room by the real estate company selling the property, because when they put ‘offers in the range of’ on the listing. APPARENTLY, that means ‘We wont accept less than the listed price. and to be honest, adding ten grand onto whats listed on the site wont win it either.’ It was already kind of out of our budget. But that basically FULLY took it off the table. Which in some ways was for the best, because the next (and final) listing we checked, turned out to be a perfect fit.

At the end of February we landed on the home we were ultimately looking for. imperfect, but absolutely fixable. leading up to it, my partner had been considering widening our net and travelling further afield to find bigger spaces. But a hard line I had is I didnt want to go *too* far away from my family. We’ve always been quite close and after everything that had gone on last year, moving 30-45 minutes away by car from them was a bit too far for me. Things did get a little tense for a while until…well, the place im typing this now from showed up.

It was about 10-15 minutes away by car from most of my families places. But equally it was only about 15-20 minutes away from my partners families homes too. meaning it was really handy for keeping in touch with folks and being able to help out if needs be. It also meant that we were both only about 5-10 minutes away from where we were both living at the time too! Which made moving a LOT easier, AND meant we could loop the family in to help if we were running thin on the ground.

It was located in one of the more ‘prestige’ parts of the city, with two main roads not far away meaning we could basically go anywhere in the city in 20 minutes or less, without having to take shortcuts or worry about getting stuck in traffic.

Moreover, the place was on the market at a bit of a discount because it was being sold as a ‘fixer upper’, but not because it had huge holes in the roof, or asbestos carpet or anything like that…it was just VERY very old, had no modernisations and needed a bit of love and attention to help really drag it kicking and screaming into the 2020’s. It seemed like an ‘intermediate’ gambit. The kind of place where, we wouldnt be able to move in right away, but the level of skill required to ‘fix’ it seemed like it would be something we could have a genuinely good go at. With the possibility of ending up with a really cozy and welcoming place, that *could* in theory net us a tidy profit in the future if we DID decide to sell up (modernised houses in the area were selling for between 45 and 60k more than what we were potentially going to pay)

We spoke about it for a week, went to a second viewing, and decided to go for it. and after a little bit of haggling. The offer was accepted and this…well, this is really where things got a bit ‘nutty’.

When people ask me and my partner how we found going through the house buying process, my partner, without hesitation will say that its been the single worst experience she’s had in her entire life…and given that at LEAST a year of that lived experience includes multiple attempts to end her own life and half a dozen stays in a psychiatric facility…I sincerely hope that puts across just how MUCH she has hated the last 12 months. I on the other hand will jokingly say that I’ve had a really nice time with all of this, it’s just my partner thats been the problem! #redflag.

In all seriousness, my partners mental health issues effect her particularly when it comes to ‘Autonomy’, basically the idea that someone else is telling her what to do, at what time and how it needs to be done, makes her spiral into angry outbursts, deep depression, anxiety and…theres no other word for it, a deeply sad despair. And the one thing you probably should know if your going to buy a house is that for AT LEAST 4-6 months of the process, your life isnt your own. Your life belongs to the banks, the real estate agents and any tradespeople/surveyours/solicitors that happen to find you along the way.

By the end of the first week of the process, my partner was burnt out. We still had 5 months of paperwork, meetings, mortgage securments and more to talk through. NON of which could be done solely by myself because we were co-buying the place. During her calmer moments, she would tell me that she knew this all needed to be done, and that we were ultimately doing the right thing. But, without fail, every. single. time. ANYTHING. would come in that required actions from both of us, even if it was just signing a letter that we didnt even need to read, or even just saying ‘yes.’ on a phone call. My partner would death spiral, cry, scream, hurt herself, shut down. refuse to engage or co-operate. And it was hard, because…Banks, solicitors and real estate agents DONT fuck around unless its them doing the fucking. they’d set hard dates, threaten to call the whole thing off if we didnt provide evidence/information by set dates. and…all I could really do is essentially DRAG my partner over the finish line by hell or high water, sometimes with just minutes to spare.

It was a VERY difficult time for both of us, I was simultaineously my partners best friend, and the person she dreaded most for a while because she knew whenever i’d call her, it was because I needed her to sign off on something. The process seemed endless, and things went TRUELY off the rails in a BIZARRE moment when, 4 months into us doing paperwork, the owners of the property basically rocked up, shrugged and said ‘hey, y’know the deeds to the place you want to buy? yeh. cant find them lol.’ Let me tell you now, I thought I was raging, my partner was bereft. But the email from our solicitors AND the real estate agents (Who are supposed to be on THEIR side) that basically amounted to ‘Well, you better fucking find them dipshit’ was border unprofessional…and they were one of the more reputable solicitors, estate agents in the city. they. were. PISSED. Because, in the UK, if you cant find the deeds to the place you want to sell, it basically means ANYONE could rock up and claim to own the place, and if they had enough evidence to back it up. the law would be on their side. Insurance companies wont insure houses like that and it would have made the property value basically a moot point. We wouldnt have bought it without the deeds because it was WAY too much of a risk.

That email seemingly put a nuke up their asses because less than 18 hours later, their ‘What can ya do rofl!’ attitude turned REAL fucking quickly into ‘We’ve torn the house apart and found it, please dont pull out of this deal.’

And! it all worked out, the last of the paperwork was completed on July 1st, we were given a ‘key handover’ date of the 12th! and with the extra couple of weeks we had between the last of the paperwork and the start of the renovation work I ploughed every free hour I had into getting as many youtube videos for the channel for between September and December done and out the door (because again; when the FUCK am I gonna find time to do them after July?!)

It looks like this!…Well…no it doesnt…but it COULD do! (No it couldnt…)

Now for the plot twist, remember how I mentioned earlier that the house was a ‘fixer upper’? Well. We assumed that would be some minimal work, ripping down old wallpaper, taking up old carpets, replastering, minor electric and gas works…We had a budget of 24k from 10 years of on and off savings to work with. We figured we’d underspend given what we could see…We were wrong.

Because y’see, construction on the house began in 1963, It was put on the market in 1966, was purchased in 1970 and the same couple lived in this house from then, until their unfortunate passing at the end of 2023. In that time almost NOTHING had been done to the house to modernise, improve or safetify it. What does that mean in real terms? Well. it means the electricity was installed in 1968, there was no fuse box, just a wall of random black boxes all along the cloak room with bright yellow DANGER! stickers attached to them, best we can see they were last checked in 1992 and hadnt been checked for safety since.

It meant that the gas feed into the house was installed using lead piping that curved in several places (apparently a major no no as lead erodes over time making a gas leak VERY likely), It means some rooms didnt have radiators, they had gas line fed heaters that we were assured by our gas technician ‘Would kill anyone who struck a match near them’.

And it meant that almost all of the rooms were in some degree of degredation. Its a 3-4 bedroom house and the most modern room in the whole place was the kitchen (which we *think* was refreshed at some point in 2002/03) followed closely by the bathroom which we think was 2000/01. All the other rooms had either been decorated twice (once in the early 70s, and then papered over in the mid to late 80s, with just a lick of paint going every decade or so to keep it ‘fresh’) or, in some cases, it had NEVER been redecorated past its initial wallop (what is now our bedroom, literally was plastered, painted eggshell blue in the early 70s, papered in the late 80s and then wasnt touched again till we got to it)

Putting a 2000’s ribbon across the top of the wall wont hide that this is ’90 wallpaper, ’94 carpeting and mid 80s mirror tiles…Still…I think this has potential…

The oldest room in the house was probably last touched in 1987 (based on what evidence we could find) and compounding the issue, it looked like, for at *least* the last 15 years, anytime anything broke, or ripped, or needed repairing; it was stuck down with blutak, if it wouldnt STAY stuck down, they’d nail it down, and if THAT didnt work they went for the cheapest, lowest quality possible fix to just, get the job done in a way that meant it couldnt be said that it was STILL broke.

All I know about the previous occupants is that they were elderly (80s), didnt leave the house much and had vision issues. I dont want to cast aspurtions, but what we found made me feel quite sad honestly…

But, back to the main story. So we got the keys on the 12th of July, we got in, looked around, started to plan and the next day we had an electrician drop in because, we didnt want to do ANYTHING until we KNEW the electrics were safe to use. Friend, when I tell you I havent heard a cackle HALF as dirty as that electrician gave when he looked at our setup. He looked at it, stood back agog. went in for a closer look, touched it with a pen to test live wiring, cackled multiple times and said ‘you didnt have any plans to move in soon did you?’

It turns out that the ENTIRE house and garage was live. as in, you touch the socket the wrong way, your gonna meet Jesus. NOT helping matters, it seems that the husband had a passion for doing his own DIY electric works, and had just run live, unsheilded wiring ALL OVER THE HOUSE AND GARAGE STRAIGHT FROM THE MAINS. We laugh now, we could have died…or at the very least burned the house down. In short, the entire house needed to be fully rewired, that involved getting all the wallpaper and carpets up ASAP, for work that was estimated as taking (roughly) 2 months to complete (it ultimately ended up taking 3 months) and for a month and a half of that we would be completely without power or heating.

Dear Reader, they put LIVE FUCKING WIRES…behind wood pannelling!…EXPOSED! I CLAW HAMMERED into this…

On top of that, we also had to bring in a gas engineer and plumber to remove 2 gas powered heaters from rooms in the house because of gas leak risks AND we had to have him disconnect an old 80s gas fireplace from the living room as it TOO was apparently set to either gas us, or blow us up (it hadnt been used in decades). This guy ALSO had to install radiators all through the house, because someone at some point had smashed up all the thermostats on them, meaning they were permanently stuck on the highest setting. AND mangled all the pipes so they were leaking…Not to mention that the radiators themselves were AT LEAST 35 years old, one of them was at least 40.

So. we began work, My partner was basically comatose after the paperwork, so I largely led the ‘tear the fucking house down’ side of the work, every day after I finished at my job, i’d go down to the house for 4-5 hours with a hammer, a chisle, a wallpaper steamer, a scraper and a box cutter, and i’d hammer the absolute fuckery out of the place. This was my life, every day for (at least 4.5 months). On the weekends, if she was well enough, my partner would join me in trying to clear some of the rooms, my mum and sister very kindly offered to help too. we amassed a bowl full of blutak, a bucket full of nails ranging from the 60s through to fairly recently, I bled, sweat and damn near killed myself AT LEAST 3 times stripping this house back to the brickwork and floorboards. But by the end of August, we’d just about done it. Which then revealed other problems.

It turns out that, while the house had been decorated once or twice in its 60 years of existence…it hadnt been plastered since 1969. As a result, every single room we went into, the second we tried to take the wallpaper off with the steamer, the wall would just collapse into a sheet of smashed plaster, revealing the bare brick behind. It was a mess. But, it also meant the budget we had allocated for plastering works skyrocketed. That combined with the other unexpectedly high cost of having some bricklayers come round to brick up a large front window, a small side window and to fill in some gaps in the brickwork in our attic basically SUPER drained our funds in ways we didnt really expect.

In late August, the rewiring work began in tandem with the gas and plumbing works. we went into september with no power and no heating. Work continued. we focussed our attention on rubbish removal, taking five 5 TON skips worth of rubble and household waste away. Which was another cost we’d underestimated.

In this time we’d also booked in a plasterer for a weeks work to resurface and skim the entire house. Which in turn led to another issue. Y’see, the thing about plaster is, once it goes on the wall, it needs a warm, dry environment in order to properly dry out so that you can paint or paper it. This is England in mid September, we have no heating or power, the weather is cold and raining 95% of the time and the humidity doesnt drop below 78%. So now, on top of being cold and only being able to use hand tools, the air is wet to the point of tasting chunky and we CANNOT dry the house. No matter what we try to do. This then starts pushing things back. We cant get the plumber back in to finish the radiator works because the walls wont dry, the electrician cant finish the works till the walls are at least dry enough to not pose a safety risk.

By early october, after 3-4 weeks of DESPERATELY trying to dry the place, we manage to get it 75% of the way there, or at least dry enough that the electrician and gas/plumber man were happy to just finish up their works. And by mid to late October, we had the power back on and…no heating still…the main reason being that we wanted to paint the walls before the radiators went on, because we knew we wouldnt have the bandwidth to do that during the winter…so we agreed to leave getting the heat back on until we painted all the radiator walls which we estimated would take about 2-3 weeks.

What we DIDNT know at the time, was that apparently the plumber HAD set the central heating unit to give us hot water…However, because the previous owners had got someone in who wired the boiler up incorrectly, we ended up not having heating OR hot water through this entire process. and let me tell you, the only thing worse than having to work in a house approaching freezing tempratures…is having to clean 3 brushes 3-4 rollers, 3 paint trays and all manner of mixers, stirrers and smaller brushes in ICY cold water for sometimes up to half an hour at a time because wall paint doesnt come off easily in ICY cold water.

Entering the painting stage, my partner decided to re-enter the ring. And, it was abject torture for her, a sensory nightmare, she couldnt stand being cold, she couldnt stand being up a ladder because she doesnt like heights. She didnt like the threat to her autonomy for having to paint 9 walls in two weeks. She didnt LIKE painting walls (she initially agreed because she liked painting, but found house painting to be completely different from the canvas) She felt ill through the entire experience, she had multiple mental breakdowns, one so severe she basically dissapeared from the project for a week and I had to rope family into fill in the gaps. This was arguably her lowest point, im grateful for the work that she did because she really pushed herself well beyond breaking point, and had their been any other way, i’d have told her to stay out of it. But we were at a crunch period. we’d burnt through 22k of our 24k budget up to this point and there was still TONS to do.

So, we kind of broke ourselves a bit to get it over the line. And on the 30th of October, with only 6 hours to spare, we finished it. Got the plumber in to get the radiators on and we dissapeared for Halloween…The radiators wouldnt work. The plumber left us saying they were working, and they were! until they didnt. I damn near killed a british gas agent when he kept me on the phone for 90 MINUTES promising me an emergency gas repair man would come out to us ASAP to resolve the issue at a £300 charge (+ parts and £60 an hour labour) only to THEN be told that ‘ASAP’ here means 3-4 business days even though we had someone in the house who was disabled and effected by the cold. Seriously FUCK British Gas. and we had to rebook our plumber in to fix it (at cost) with a week and a half wait. On the phone to our plumber, he mentioned that we definitely should have hot water, So I got our electrian back in who THEN revealed that YES! we COULD have had hot water for the last 2-3 months, but because of the botched wiring job on the boiler, we didnt! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*Cries*

Through a sheer act of kindness, he agreed to rewire the boiler correctly at no charge, and then, it all came together. the radiators randomly kicked back in, we had hot water in the taps. it was early November and we quite literally were cooking with gas!

The rest of November was the home stretch, I spent most of it painting ceilings and block rolling the walls with paint while my partner cut in on the edges. we had a joiner come in to fit all new doors downstairs to replace the ones with holes punched through them and door handles missing that must have been there since the late 80s. As we started to wrap up, I made my partner take more rests while I doubled down to try and get stuff over the line. The carpets went in in mid November, followed immediately by our new bed. and this leads us to ANOTHER b-plot.

See, While all the house crazy was going on, from September through to the end of November I helped my partner move all of her stuff from a 2nd floor apartment with no elevators to a storage locker 2 miles away from the apartment, and then from that locker into our home. the staircase at my partners apartment complex was outdoors, with no covering, it was mossy, tight and given this was the tail end of August through to mid October, it rained. A LOT. I got soaked through on many an occasion, my partner (who was already in the midst of a breakdown over the paperwork) was basically dying on her arse at this point, there’d be days where she could advise on what needed packing where, what needed to be thrown away, and what order to pack things…And days where she’d basically gesture at a room, scream cry about it being ‘too much to think about’ and she’d just leave me to it to get it gone. Honestly, thinking back, im amazed she was able to do so much in her condition. and im even more amazed at just how much we got done in such a narrow window of time.

Why is this relevent to the story? Well, because the landlords who rented the apartment to my partner were part of a charity network that aims to offer housing to vulnerable people. my partner qualified as a vulnerable person, and it was around the middle of September we encountered an issue…y’see, it turns out that this charity had NO policy in place for people wanting to leave their apartment…the assumption was if you were there, you were there till you WERNT there (if you catch my drift). and they basically had no system in place for someone just…moving out. the default position was that if you told them you had bought a house, you had 24 hours to pack your shit and leave. and we just couldnt work to those timelines as, as you’ve probably figured from this blog entry. My partner basically started self harming if she was asked to confirm her identity on a phone call just so that I could deal with the ACTUAL reason for the call. it would have been impossible to clear an entire apartment completely out in 24 hours even if we were BOTH fully able bodied and mentally well. I wont go into detail about how managed to circumvent this rule. But I will say that we had some very good people on our side, and that human kindness is a rare and wonderful thing these days.

it was the last week of September, we were exhausted, but we emptied the apartment into the locker, and my partner came to stop with me for what was initially supposed to be 4 weeks (it ended up being 6) My apartment was TINY. big enough barely for 1…nowhere near big enough for 2. and given the high pressure we were coming out of. as you can imagine. it was not a fun time. BUT! we tried to smooth things over with plenty of movies through October and clinging to the idea that this would all be a distant memory come December.

And lo! by mid November, the bed went in, and my partner agreed (somewhat reluctently) to go down to the house for a week or two to try and settle things in while I began to empty MY apartment.

Late November to me was an absolute blur. my average day would be spent working 8:30am till 5:30pm then spending 2 hours packing my own stuff up, having an evening meal, bringing my stuff down to the house, then heading over to the locker for 8:30pm to cram AS MUCH stuff as I could fit into my car, into my car. before getting back to the house for 9:30pm(ish) where i’d spend till 1-2am unloading boxes from my car into the house and trying to find their appropriate home. I’d get home between 2-3am where i’d have to tie off my own shit, before getting ready to wake up at 8:30am the next day and do it ALLLL over again, while my partner started unpacking and moving some of the boxes around during the afternoons (she was very much trying to recover from burnout during this time). The weekends were considered a blessing, because it meant I could do multiple trips to the locker AND bring more of my stuff down to the house, uniterrupted between the hours of 10am – 3am. IT. WAS. NUTS. and I hope to GOD I never have to do it again, or I swear it may ACTUALLY kill me.

I moved out of my place on the 28th of November 2024. my partner had been living at the house for just over a week and a half by this point, and essentially between the 29th of November and the 19th of December, we were unpacking. We did the essentials first, furniture, heavy stuff like sofas and hard wood storage came in first, we had a joiner come in and put us all new doors upstairs and a full set of shelving for my office room to house my film collection. Once that was in place I was able to unpack my movies (which you can watch LIVE right here!) and then it was basically everything else, as and when we found things. on the 19th of December, I swapped from unpacking, to cleaning, we wiped all the excess plaster from the windows, sweapt and mopped all the floors, we got a TV mounted to the living room wall, along with several sets of curtain poles fitted. Me and my partner both agreed that after the 23rd of December, we’d down tools for the year, and that would be that.

And. On the 24th of December. We did just that. We didnt touch a goddamn THING till the W/C 6th of January this year. and honestly, that 2 weeks break was frankly lifechanging. I have NEVER appreciated rest so much in my entire life. I have done FUCK ALL since the 24th of December other than occasionally doing a bit of cleaning and trying to get my office/film room setup even more perfect. and I have ZERO regrets on that. My partner needed this even more than me, she’s still not well, it’s…going to take some time for her to fully recover from this, but she’s better than she was.

Ahh…I KNEW I saw potential…The Reviews have a new home ❤

And thats…kind of where things have been left, current status is ‘Big jobs have all been done, we’re about 75% of the way unpacked, we still have some small random jobs to do to the place in the immediate future. but otherwise, we’re prettifying the house now until it gets warm enough to tackle the garden.

We ended up going about 2 grand over budget ultimately…I mean, when it comes to house reno work, where do you even stop the tally? technically we have works that still need to be done, but they arnt anywhere near as urgent as ‘get power to the house’ or ‘get rid of that gas device that could blow the houseup’…So we’ll deal with them in time.

I dont think I fully anticipated the ups and downs of renovating a home, and home ownership for that matter. I knew it could be intense at times, but I didnt *quite* realise just HOW intense it could be. I get a comfort in knowing that the monthly payments I make now will ultimately mean this place will be ours by the end of it.but in the same breath, I have a ‘to do’ list on this place longer than the gangees honestly. But! I have a lifetime to do it in…so…yay? I guess?

In all seriousness, despite the stress, HUGE financial cost and struggles, Im incredibly grateful to be as privilaged as we were in being able to buy this place, and i’d say if you can, do it. But be prepared, because even the nicest places could have HUGE things going on just underneath the walls…

I know I usually go here, there and everywhere with these blogs, but this house has basically been my last 13 months or so. Thats been my year, one big lifechanging event for good (I hope) that has really taken the sting out of a bastard of a year that was 2023. I will however for prosperity do my other usual updates.

On the Job/Work front, theres not been a whole lot to report. When I last spoke to you, i’d just been introduced to a new manager and I was still trying to find my footing to figure things out. Well; January to September could best be described as ‘tepid’ on that front. my manager seemed to think I had some kind of confidence issue (despite me telling her I do this in my spare time) so she decided to put me forward for any and all speaking opportunities within the business..Whether I wanted to do it or not. See, the thing is, I can speak enthusiastically about something I love. I can put the razzle dazzle on, no trouble. But I cant fake it. So her putting me up to talk about projects I had NO love for, that actually were likely to cause me a lot of trouble in the form of either MORE work coming my way, OR things that would overcomplicate the job I already do…Well, as you can imagine I was having a ‘great.’ time.

I also started to hear murmured rumblings from my boss trying to encourage me to (voluntarily) return to the office one day a week. Which I tried to bat away as much as I could (my job literally has no function that would benefit from an office presence…Even before covid I worked from home 3-4 days a week because I just, wasnt needed on site…)So that added to the anxiety a bit. The worst part of it came when my boss decided I needed to raise my profile to HER boss, so she started making me present all my projects to her, whether they were ready to go or not…she made it sound like me NOT getting my face in front of her boss was the difference between me keeping and losing my job. Made all the worse, when her boss got the wrong end of the stick on one of my projects and thought I was doing something externally to raise the companies social media presence. So I suddenly got propelled into senior manager meetings where they wanted to hear all about my ‘social media tips & tricks’…my guy, I suggested setting up a ‘workplace’ group page for our team to raise awareness of what we do…Im not Kylie Jenner.

Yes my dear friends, Im an Idiot…But I can be YOUR idiot!

It gets even better really, because just over a month after than instance, in early October, my boss announced she was leaving the business, and HER boss announced she was taking early retirement and leaving the business also. Thus rendering my March – October of trying to butt kiss up to people who literally didnt give a shit, when *I* literally didnt give a shit, but was made to. Ultimately pointless…There was no point building ANY of those false relationships and a whole year at work near enough was ultimately for naught 🙂 *Scream*

Well! Things do have a happyish ending I guess. In November my Boss left her role, I was assigned a new manager who ONE day before she was supposed to take up the reins, suddenly couldnt anymore…So I got ANOTHER manager who had me for a whole TWO WEEKS, where at least a week of that, I was on vacation…Before I got back to find it had been decided without consulting me to move me COMPLETELY OUT of my current team, into a whole new department, with ANOTHER new manager…But I was keeping my existing job role, title, pay etc…For those of you who have been keeping track over the last few years. Not including managers who had me for a day or less (theres been a couple of those now…) That makes my latest manager, manager #11…in 6.5 years…That works out at near enough 1.7 managers a year at this point…or VERY nearly one manager every 6-7 months. I swear its not me…Honest…

I’ve been with the new team now for coming up to 3 months, and its been kind of unremarkable, but nice. for the first time in a LONG time, im surrounded by neurodiverse people who gel with my vibe, which, I dont think i’ve had that kind of working relationship now in AT LEAST 2-3 years…they’re essentially a bit of a crisis team, when the bat signal goes up, they’re first on the scene. But that suits my style quite nicely and…So far at least, if this is how its going to be, I could get used to this quite nicely! Though, as always my place of work is renowned for sudden mass redundancies with no rhyme or reason and everyone on the chopping block…Soooo…as with every year, if im still here by this time next year in the same conditions, I’ll consider it a BIG win.

Has there been anything else significant to me and my world this year? I got into the Youtube Partner programme after 7.5 years of making movie reviews. Im honestly super proud of that. Yes im making (approx) 0.10p-0.30p a day and at this rate it’ll be 3 months before I get my first paycheque of £60…But Y’know what? anything that takes money OFF youtube and puts it into MY hands is alright by my book…

We had 2 elections…one a bit shit, in the sense that it kicked an evil EVIL group of bastards out of office…but replaced them with a group of people who’s idea of a ‘significant revolution’ is taking welfare away from disabled people and forcing the mentally ill into caring roles…

And the other?…well…we all know about the other…so the less said about that the better.

Im not gonna lie…the political landscape is FUCKING bleak right now…It can at times feel all a bit hopeless, but im trying to pull back and think of the bigger picture, that im here, and then gone in the blip of an eye. nothing matters *ultimately* other than the here and now, so as long as I ensure I have a tomorrow. Im sure as hell going to have a today. and I advise you do the same.

Oh! and for those of you who read of my tales of woe in 2023 with my sinuses, the medication worked, and continues to work! am I 100% back to how I was and pitch perfect in every way? No. but i’d kind of prepared for that…But! the sore throat stuff now only happens if I well and TRUELY TRY to run my throat into the ground, my sinusses are much less inflamed, I can breath freely and in the last few months, I think the swelling has reduced significantly, as my partners commented that i’ve stopped snoring. So…y’know! I’ll take 90% cured over whatever the hell happened to me in ’23!

And that…rather simply, was 2024…the year of ‘house’. What will 2025 bring to the table? I couldnt even begin to guess in my wildest ravings…But heres some things i’d like to do.

*I’d like to get back into pacing out making my show on youtube how I used to do the show between 2017 and 2022. Where production is slow and year round, the last two years, its been just cramming as much editing into the free time I had as possible, it takes the fun out of it. So this year? I want to use the fact I have a lot more space and free time to take my time in making the show, get a good backlog going and hopefully have fun with it this year.

*I’d like to FINALLY release my ‘After Dark: Volume 2’ set. I wrote those scripts in October/November of 2023 with the hope of getting it out there in time for Valentines 2024…THAT didnt happen! So its the first thing to tackle on my dock right now…In fact, by the time you read this (and with a bit of luck) it should already be underway! I’d also like to write and possibly even record my next audio book for a 2026 release this year. it wont be erotica, but im not firmed up on what I *would* like it to be just yet.

*I’d like to do more collaborations if I can, every year I try to work with as many folks as I can, but I always feel like I can do more! So if you have a video in mind, feel free to hit me up!

*I want to try and get on top of the garden this year, with all the ‘in house’ stuff going on since we got the keys, the garden got TOTALLY neglected. we tried to hire a gardener in in September to try and tame some of the more aggressively grown plants…but they basically kept cancelling on us and ultimately went radio silent from the end of November…essentially; as soon as it starts getting warmer in March, I want to be out there trimming, pruning, mowing, junking and jetwashing the crap out the garden because, to my next point…

*I want to have an enjoyable summer. Thats probably my biggest hope for this year, last summer I was sweating my tits off steaming walls in 36 celcius weather, with no home comforts and every day was a work day, or a job day. This year, I want to get all our jobs out of the way as soon as possible, so that I can spend the summer lounging in the back garden in my hammock, going for decent walks with the missus, racking up some decent hitters on ‘Pokemon Go’ and i’d like to go on a few daytrips too if I can find the time…Nothing astounding, but It’s been a year or two now since I’ve been to the beach, and last time I went it was raining…It’d be nice to go again in good weather.

and, as a final LONG range forecast…I’d like to have a chilled christmas next year. This year we were hammer and tonging it until 10pm on December 23rd…and while everything after that was nice and chilled out, we missed basically all the pre-gaming leading up to christmas. The decorations were thrown up in a rush, the christmas food shop was done in a panic, we didnt get much time to watch many christmas films until after christmas because we had so many jobs to do. Hell, I didnt get my film collection back until the morning of the 19th of December…I usually enjoy baking around christmas, making pumpkin pies, cookies, nice treats to give as gifts, I like to buy new decorations and spend time crafting the christmas ‘look’ for the house…This year it was whatever was available to hand + a lot of panic shopping, hell, because we went over budget on the house, we couldnt afford gifts for anyone…which was upsetting…So December 2025? I want to have the MERRIEST fucking christmas this side of lapland!

So! yeh! that was 2024, By no means a bad year…a stressful one, a busy one, but ultimately a rewarding one. As far as years go…i’d say this one was up there, and I can only hope that my 2025, like your 2025, will be a fun, pleasent, safe and happy one.

*TYTDan x

Partially Reformed Content #3

So…It’s been a quiet year so far eh?…alright alright; it was an obvious gag but fuck me if we dont need SOMETHING a bit lighter going on around here…Jeez. between a worldwide pandemic, riots in the streets, murder hornets, waves of cicada’s, an almost super majority Tory government, the rise of white nationalism and the complete collapse of the economy. I find a lot of us are on the verge of a full blown Clark Griswold style meltdown…and at this point frankly; I dont blame anyone who does. We are quite literally the closest to the threshold of hell than almost any other generation currently alive. We’re a pressurised tank of pain and anger and at the time of writing (the 3rd of June 2020) and we’re on the verge of a full blown explosive outburst (If that hasnt happened already by the time this actually gets published.)

(VENT! BY GOD IT’S SO HEALTHY!!!)

So given that my last Blog was in February, a rosier time when the pandemic was barely on the radar (If it was on the radar at all) I thought now would be as good a time as any to flip my chair around, grab a beer and catch up with you guys via a good old fashioned “Partially reformed content” blog. To new comers (As I realise my site has had a bit of a spike in viewers of late) these blogs are a little bit of everything. Just a verbal stream of consciousness where I let you know where we’re up to with the show, whats going on in my life, a little bit of politics, a little bit of film making stuff…it’s the SPAM of blog posts, a bunch of shredded up loose threads compressed together into a solid slab of meat.

(It’s rich in mystery meat goodness…)

So! Kicking things off! Channel News! And Season 7 is almost over! Assuming this blog goes live when I intend it to then our newest review of “Sleepaway Camp” should have gone live on Friday! It was one I was particularly happy with and I think we’ve had a really solid run of Red Triangle episodes this season. In fact looking at the analytics this season has arguably been the most successful season I’ve made since I launched the channel back in 2017 and we’ve still got another 3 weeks or so to go! So thank you so much to everyone who’s supported me through the good times and the bad. I really genuinely could have done non of this without your continues support and love. It helps make every difficult edit, every multi day recording session, every stagnated upload totally worth it.

https://media.daysoftheyear.com/cdn-cgi/image/fit=cover,f=auto,onerror=redirect,width=866,height=434/20171223125340/thank-you-thursday.jpg

(And I really genuinely and sincerely mean that!)

 

The season is set to end at the end of June at which point we’ll enter a 2 month hiatus while I continue to work on new material and for other reasons I’ll get into shortly. In the mean time work on Season 8 continues to pick up pace it’s looking like a 17 week run at this point (With scope for a couple of collaborative “off channel” reviews also scheduled in pending the current global crisis.) running from September to December. At the time of writing I’ve completed 15 of 17 scripts (Plus 2 collab scripts) and im hoping to write one of the final 2 scripts over the next fortnight. The 17th script is a bit of a bigger scoped project than usual…but it isnt due until the end of November so for now. That ones on hold while I work on other things.

Of the 15 scripts I have completed 14 have been recorded and of the 14 recorded 10 at the time of writing (15 by the time of publication) will have been fully audio edited and processed. Meaning I’ll be spending a good chunk of June and July video editing September and early Octobers content. Honestly? This seasons been one of the hardest to write for. It’s been quite ruthless and relentless just purely for the amounts of “Fixed” content I’ve had to work on. With the March to June run the whole things on me; I can choose what I want to watch, when I want to watch and how. September to Decembers a bit different as we have Halloween and Christmas demanding fixed content, thats 8-10 weeks worth of episodes (10 out of 17) that I had very little say over in terms of film selection or genre. Its arguably the only truely hard part of doing this channel, having to watch movies of a specific genre that you just arnt “Feeling” at that time, while also trying to maintain a level of professional critique.

(Not feeling the movies you need to review IS SO NOT A VIBE!!!)

Watching Christmas films in June or freebasing 5 Halloween themed movies one after the other can be seriously draining at times, but it’s a necessary evil, doing them now gives me time to make sure they’re super polished for release. PLUS it means I greatly appreciate the chance to talk about the genre movies I want to when the opportunity arrives. So while at times writing the newest season has been hard. I hope ultimately it was worth it as there are some absolutely KILLER titles coming up!

(Spoilers)

In terms of the Comedy Dining experience; Lockdown has been both a blessing and curse to it. On the one hand we’ve been able to record more commentaries during this lockdown than at any other point since we began working on the show (We now have commentaries lined up right the way up to December). The downside is that Ben (My cohost) is unfortunately a 70s bohemian by nature and as such doesnt really have/use a lot of technology. He has a laptop that by his own admission is over 10 years old at this point and overheats/switches off after 30 or so minutes use…he has a smart phone…thats about 5-7 years old with minimal to no features and the biggest issue? His internets shocking in terms of connectivity.

(Like this…but MUCH less Hipster-ey and MUCH more in tune with 70’s Dayglo)

 

As such while we’ve been able to record around 6 commentaries together over the last month, only 3-4 have actually been usable. Mainly because of drop out, bad mic quality and the fact that I’ve had to rig up a seperate machine on my end to record both mine and Bens conversations as He cant record any of his audio on his side. So as of the time of writing we’ve kind of put a bit of an unspoken hold on recording anymore until we can find a more solid work around. Though we’ve been talking about some new film ideas while this hold has been going on so as soon as we’re back up and running we’ll be hitting the road with wheelspin! Also; to close. Even though the latest Season of TYTD finishes at the end of this month, The Comedy dining experiences (Amongst other goodies) will continue to be published throughout July and August to help tide you guys over! So keep an eye out for them!

So thats the formalities out of the way; Dan! What have you been up to since the last time you spoke to us properly on December 31st 2019!? Well; Im glad you didnt ask! Home life’s honestly been a bit dull really; I was told by my place of employment to stay at home and to “Stay the fuck away from the office” in early March and about 2 weeks after that the country entered lockdown meaning other than shops and pharmacies everywhere is shut. As my parents and my partner are all classed as “Vulnerable persons” I’ve been spending most of the lockdown juggling work, the youtube channel and making sure they’ve got food, medicine and anything else essential they may need. That hasnt stopped my Dad (who’s arguably the most vulnerable of all my family) from regularly flouting lockdown to go to the shop himself…but I’ve warned him as much as I can and he’s chosen to take the risks. There isnt much more I can do there.

I’ve been trying to help out the wider community also while all this has been going on, helping provide shopping to the elderly and making sure that vulnerable people are not suffering in isolation. While I havent done as much as I’d have liked. I’ve done what I can. And now that the governments botched the lifting of lockdown restrictions my help is seemingly no longer needed…well not until the next wave flares up inevitably…

(He’s been warned…They’ve all been warned…ahhh…Goddamnit.)

Anyway! In terms of other events in my life, as regular readers may recall my partner is unfortunately not in the best of health. This was one of the reasons season 6 and 2019 ended up the way it did as I spent a large chunk of that year in hospital waiting rooms. Well so far this year she’s been holding relatively steady. There have definitely been ups and downs and right now we’re definitely in a down. But the extremes have definitely narrowed and she seems to be managing things at least a little bit better…which im incredibly thankful for. While we’re nowhere near getting her back to her old self at this point and the lockdown has definitely been quite detrimental to her progress in some regards. Theres a distinct feeling right now that things are moving in the right direction. Equally! We have a hamster now! His name is Newt and he joins our cat Zelda as being the joint 2nd cutest thing in our house (just behind me obvs.)

90263335_10156669644196650_4911334505005973504_n

(Just look at his lil face!)

Apart from DESPERATELY wanting a haircut (Seriously; I only have a few things that make me feel uncomfortable and during this lockdown i’ve learnt that long hair is one of them) everything else has been relatively stable. I’ve spent a lot of time catching up on my “To Watch” pile and working on the show. It’s been a bit like a mini vacation really as I havent had nearly as many people trying to drag me away from the things I love! In fact i’ve finally had such an abundance of free time I’ve finally been able to pull the trigger on a massive project that’s been at least 3-4 years in the making. My media room is getting upgraded.

(And Sweet merciful Jesus it’s about time!)

Im going to do a separate blog at some point documenting the transformation (And Im even hoping to stream some of the sorting through my films, records and books when It comes to repopulating the room) but the long and short of it is the room itself hasnt been totally ground up renovated since the 1970’s and hasnt been redecorated (Repainted) since 1998 because of the 70’s aesthetic I’ve always kind of been reluctant to do anything major with the place (As…well it’s 70’s aesthetic design…why on EARTH would I want to) but having now spent the majority of 2020 in here, It’s become clear to see that the place REALLY needs to have something done to it, faded wallpaper, holes in the wall, mould, burn marks, dust, dirt and cobwebs are just. EVERYWHERE. And the current layout and tech choices in here are dated to say the least. So from the middle of July I’ll be completely stripping the room back to the brickwork and over July and August we’ll be completely renovating the place both to modernise it and to make the place more film and media friendly. Im SUPER excited about getting started on this project as it’ll mean I’ll finally be able to pull out a good chunk of my stuff from storage and after 5 years of false starts and umming and ahhing I’ll finally have a room thats a bit more “Me”. I have no idea how long it’ll take to TOTALLY turn the room around and have it finished but the bare elements should all be in place by the end of the first week in August, Im ETA’ing that everything should be totally finished by early October. 2nd pandemic and lockdown permitting.

So thats everything personally relevant to me, what else….hmm! Well politically im starting to feel evermore homeless! Thats always a good feeling (Aside; it’s not) after nearly 5 years as leader of the opposition Jeremy Corbyn finally stood down as the leader of the Labour party in December 2019 after an election defeat so monumental it pretty much handed the keys to the country to a load of alt-right fascists for the next 4 years…seriously; they were just shy of a super majority based on the results and at this time there is NOTHING that anyone can do. Even if all the opposition parties united against the conservatives all it would result in is a comfortable victory to the tories…thats how fucked we are collectively right now. At the time of the defeat a majority of the reports claimed it was Corbyn himself and his radical lefty ideas of treating everyone as fairly as possible and not letting people literally die in the streets that led to the monumental defeat. Though it’s clear at this point that Xenophobia and Brexit were the main things that led to this defeat. In the interim while a new leader of the opposition was being selected a report was released into the antisemitism claims that have plagued the labour party since 2016, and while the report itself was kind of “Meh” in terms of actually saying anything we didnt already know. What WAS absolutely damning was that between 2016 and 2019 it was revealed right leaning members of UK Labour worked against the leader and the left wing of the party to purposfully throw the vote. This includes ringfencing members membership fees in order to run anti Corbyn propaganda and purposefully throwing the local and general elections in areas they had control in order to try and shake Corbyn off.

(…)

Yes. you heard me right; one side of the labour party, tried to purposefully ensure the other half lost and guaranteed a Boris Johnson victory because they didnt like the idea of a socialist government. When this document was released I was apoplectic. Blinded by rage and this hasnt been resolved even now nearly 3 months after it was initially revealed. And thats partially due to the fact that the new leader of the labour party was Keir Starmer. A member of the more right wing side of the labour party who CERTAINLY wasnt going to rock the boat over this because: A: He won and B:he needed to keep the people who got Corbyn out on side or else they’d do the same to him. As such we’ve now got a limp labour party that seems to be agreeing with the conservative party more than opposing it. Which at any other time would be horrendous. But NOW…JUMPING JESUS ON A POGOSTICK…its a wonder I havent become an alcoholic.

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(Pictured: Sir Keir Starmer QC)

At the moment theres been a lot of people banding about the idea that because of the lockdown Starmer hasnt really begun to flex his muscles…and some even bigger cretins who are actually trying to make out that he’s an effective leader of the opposition (Despite not getting his own house in order yet OR doing anything to actually oppose the current government charnel house.) I promised I’d give him a fair crack of the whip before giving up my membership. He’s got till September for me personally…so far. Im going to be saving quite a bit of money year on year if he carries on the way he has been. I certainly wont be voting for my local labour MP in the next election if he’s standing as the leader. Fuck that noise.

And that pretty much leads us back here to June 3rd 2020. The worlds on fire. Racism has been unbottled and we’re on the brink of a civil war which may or may not have gotten underway at the time of this publication. The whole situation is tragic, awful and barbaric. But ultimately not surprising. 400+ years of systemic oppression was eventually going to boil over at some point. People can only be held back, degraded and kicked for so long. And under a Trump presidency 4 years was the perfect catalyst and combination of elements to lead to these riots. To my US readers. I say support the protestors where possible. Donate money if you can, and do ANYTHING you can to take down the fash. Here in the UK I’ve resigned myself to the fact we’re a lost cause. 50k+ deaths, a know lying, philandering, racist, homophobic PM and 300+ MPs’s who are nothing but wadding to support the unsupportable have shown me over the last 12 months that the UK population is either too dense to accept change or too malicious to want it. But you guys in the US, with this act you’ve just rolled the dice. And I REALLY hope that meaningful proactive and positive change is born from the ashes of this horrible moment. Until then the world continues to burn, I continue to work…and well…im hoping that by December SOMETHING good will have come from all this.

 

Till Next time.

(The 12″ Mix of this has been stuck in my head now for the best part of 3 months…if I have to suffer; so do you…enjoy the middle 8.)

The Decade of Change: 2010 – 2019 A Retrospective

Yes! It’s a new Blog! Well I couldn’t really let the end of the year, Neigh. The end of the Decade pass without posting something here. it would just seem quite out of  sorts.  In all honesty I’ve been trying to get a blog up on this site now for the best part of 6 months…I’ve tried 5 times in all and everytime I’ve done so I’ve left it for a day before publishing it and something either in my personal life or on my youtube channel has happened that’s either made it completely obsolete or (In the case of at least a couple of blogs I’ve written that have been based around a particular theme) outside forces have made the point I was arguing in said blog moot, or I’ve changed my mind completely.

(Seems about right…)

In short; I’ve had to either abandon or not publish several blogs over the last 6 months, So I’ve made myself a promise with this one. No matter what, this will be written and published all on the 31st of December. Right now it’s 2:20am on the 31st of December 2019 and Im currently watching  Something Weird Videos “That’s Sexploitation” a documentary about the early history of Sexploitation cinema. Its surprisingly insightful and it’s very unique to see so many vintage clips that previously would have been sat in the deepest darkest seediest pits and back rooms across the US.

(This to be precise…and a fine job they’ve done of it too!)

Anyway; Im getting away from myself here… We’ve had an interesting Decade the 2010’s it’s had it’s highs and it’s lows. And I’d like to take the time here to reflect on this decade personally as…well; a lots happened. So if your looking for the next segment of my history of B-movie cinema or a blog about anime or tv shows I’ve been watching…well you may want to skip to the end. I think it’s probably best to organise these into 2 distinct sectors. The pre 2016’s and the post 2016’s. in my mind at least that makes the most sense as they both are very different times tonally. To me the early 2010’s were a strangely liberating if not creaking time, and the later 2010’s have been the slow collapse of society. Now that’s not to say that 2010 to 2015 was perfect. Nor was it to say that everything after 2016 has been dreadful. But it just makes it easier to write about here.

So; 2010. As strange a time for me as it ever has been honestly. I had just gotten out of a very complicated friendship (Romantic feelings were involved and I’ll say no more about that here) I was a bit of a mess emotionally because of this (I didn’t really get over these issues until about 2014/2015) I had almost no money, no idea what I wanted to do with my life, I didn’t own a car (nor did I know how to drive) I was living with my parents and was generally flicking between being busy making films/expanding my education and figuring out what I wanted out of life (Predominantly centered around whether I wanted a partner/friends or whether I should just coast around going where I wanted and doing what I wanted.) For the most part I wasn’t unhappy. But I wasn’t exactly beaming for the most of this year. I made some good friends that year who continue to be associates to this day. I’ve never been a “Going out” type of guy. A pub nights about as far as I’ll go really. So I don’t tend to see the guys from this time as much as I’d like to. but the fact they’ve hung around with me as long as they have really does mean a lot.

(It was a stiff upper lip year if ever there was one…)

2010 was a bit of a stalled year. I was taking a lot on and I had no idea what I wanted. I was drifting aimlessly and seemingly directionless. 2011 would certainly offer direction, but would also be particularly awful. I’d decided after much thought to go to university. My love of film had led me to want to do a course on the subject to a degree level and so I chose to study media film production with a minor in experiemental film history. I had the choice of whether to do the experimental film element or not and as I thought “Well it’s another string to my bow” alongside having a love for the abnormal and bizarre of film history. I was to spend my first year in a halls of residence and it was here that one of the biggest issues of 2011 really cropped up.

Ladies and gentlemen it will not surprise you to learn that I am not a thin man, I am chonky. A plump fellow…not massive mind…but big. Equally; I am not a sportsman… In fact I’d go as far as to say for the most part I strongly dislike sports. while I’ve been told I have the profile/frame to be a great Prop/Center Forward (Whatever the hell that is) sport has just simply never interested me. while my peers were on the football/hocky/rugby fields of this great country. I was learning how VCR’s worked, making makeshift ariels out of tinfoil and coathangers and learning the joys of CB (I can assure you those skills help me now as much as they did then…make of that what you will).

The reason I raise this is because I was told that when it came to selecting who I would be sharing my halls of residence with they selected people who were all roughly studying the same thing. the problem was all the people studying my course had already been assigned a halls of residence meaning a good 10-15 people in my class (Myself included) had to be grouped into the closest thing to my course possible due to there being no room. I was therefore left on my own. In a halls of residence with no one on my course. With 14 Broadcast journalists…14 broadcast journalists who had all chosen to specialise in Sports journalism. They were all pretty much insufferable. Imagine the most “Lads,Lads,Lads” group of young men you can possibly imagine and your not far off. They did nothing but play football all day and all night, both in the halls of residence (The hallways and the kitchens) and outside the building meaning you would regularly hear the sound of a hard leather Kacey ball smacking against dorm doors all day. and all night. At all hours. They played video games…but only variations on Fifa at all times of day and night, at full volume. They didn’t clean after themselves, they drank round the clock (That was forgivable) but they wernt interested in films, tv shows…anything like that…if it wasn’t football, horseracing or rugby they just didn’t want to know…and they were relentless and insufferable.

(Artists impression…but pretty damn close)

Only complicating matters, my student loan (While approved) didn’t land for the first 6 months. meaning I spent a massive chunk of my first year raiding my parents cupboards for food and borrowing money on the promise when my loan landed I could pay them back. And as anyone who’s been in a bad situation can tell you. the only thing worse than being stuck in a bad sitatuion is to be stuck in it and not have the money to get out of it or escape. This also had the knock on effect of damaging my studies. As without any money to fund study materials, rental fees for camera kits and a total absence of a budget I wasn’t able to really make films or even afford basic printing to meet deadlines. In their infinite wisdom the university had also decided not to introduce a dedicated experimental film lecturer to the course until the 2nd year of studies. But they DID decide to segregate the experimental students, give them separate briefs but ask them to work with the main media film students for the first year as the skills were universally transferrable. This caused multiple problems; not least because the main media film lecturers dispised the experimental film lecturers and took every opportunity to belittle the course altogether. This combined with my lack of funds basically meant that anyone who worked with me, was doing it for almost nothing and would be stigmatised for doing so. And due to my lack of funds I couldn’t make the films I wanted which led to a lot of rumours circulating as to my competency.

It was bad in 2010. But now I was Poor, Emotionally unwell, stuck in building 5 days a week with 14 louts and hated by the majority of my peers and teachers. By December of that year I have vivid memories of sitting in my dorm room watching “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” while 2 lads outside smashed a ball against my door and screamed incomprehensibly that I realised I’d hit an absolute low. And that at that moment if I could have left university I would have.

(It was a low point to say the least…)

2 things however happened that year that would change my life fundamentally. About a month into the course we were sent out to the lake district to make documentaries and on the coach I had a chance encounter with a young man who would go on to be one of my best friends. You’ll know him as my co-commentator on “The Comedy Dining Experience” but had Ben not mentioned he was absolutely exhausted after a long night of listening to Bowie records I don’t think we’d have had the long friendship we have had. Ben made that multi-hour coach trip a delight and he’s never disappointed since.

2011 was also they year I met Miss TYTD. We were both part of a drama group. She’d been dragged along by a friend one night and liked me so much she decided to stay (That’s the honest truth!) from there we really hit it off and one thing led to another…the rest they say is history. She kept me sane for a massive chunk of that first year of university. When people were pouring on the hate, when things got almost unbearable she was there to calm the storm. I genuinely don’t know what I’d have done without her. I genuinely don’t know what I’d do without her.

The three of us would hit the student bar hard. Working our way through the menus of food, being very very silly and enjoying night after night of Karaoke (You should  have seen mine and Bens rendition of “Every Sperm is sacred”, or my rendition of “Pretty Woman”) it bought the house down.

(Mood. mainly because things were getting better plus friendship innit.)

2012 was great. A real change of pace and things genuinely only got better and better. My student loans finally landed (2 payments in one go!) and after I’d paid off my debts I was able to actually get on with getting on. I scraped a pass in my first year of studies (Much to everyones annoyance) and as if to put fire in my belly for the second year after finding out I’d just passed my first year by an hairs breath a lecturer cornered me in a lift on my last day and took the opportunity to tell me that he didn’t like me, that he didn’t think I was right for the course and that I should seriously consider leaving. I don’t take kindly to that kind of talk. So that made me resilient to stay (Im so glad I did) I remember the last day in halls as if it was yesterday I stripped my entire room in 45 minutes the moment my last class ended, my room was spotless and locked within the hour and I had ran to the halls office to get rid of my keys as soon as I physically could. I was done with the sports journalists, I was done with the oppression, I was free for the summer. My partner had recently applied to be a lodger at a nearby house and I spent my summers both with her at her place and her at mine. It was also over the summer that I was able to secure a student house for my 2nd and 3rd year of university. I was sharing a 3 and a bit bedroom house with Ben and 2 other housemates. And when university started back up in September it was fucking ace. I’ve never had so much fun in my life. it was nothing but drinking, watching weird art house films, staying up till the sun came up and all the debauchery and weirdness you’d expect from a student house full of weirdo’s odd balls and nerds. Yes it looked like a bombed out dive. But it was our bombed out dive and we loved it dearly.

(Artists impression…again not too far from the truth.)

Equally the experimental lecturers finally appeared on the scene and quickly set the record straight on what experiemental cinema was and why we shouldn’t be segregated against the main film students. I managed to make films! award winning films at that! and they were weird and expressionistic and passionate and I loved shooting them, I loved working with the people who helped me shoot them and slowly but surely word got out about “Dans strange shoots” more people got interested, more people wanted to work with me, more people realised that the rumours about experiemental students from the year previous was a load of bollocks. Things got good. Unfortunately things would begin rather sadly for 2013.

One of my housemates was a punk. And a damn fine chap he was. He was a socialite, he loved parties and he was loved by most of the course. He was the biggest champion of what I did and had my back whenever anyone called me out. my strongest memory of him would be Halloween night 2012 when he returned from a Halloween party in the early hours of the morning to find me just about to load in “Theatre of blood” he’d never seen it, we sat and watched the whole thing. he loved it. I felt like I’d given him a gift. Unfortunately  he also was not a well man. Both mentally and physically. In 2012 he got into a relationship which went well for a few months, before becoming rocky. And then ended quite ungraciously. And unfortunately it hit him harder than I’ll ever know as sadly he committed suicide in early 2013. It was horrifically sad to find out about his loss, and for at least a couple of weeks our course was suspended while everyone processed exactly what had happened. It bought out the best and worst in some people but after some time to reflect we had to push on. we kept making films, we kept up with the work. But for that first half of 2013 things just weren’t the same.

Late 2013 was an absolute cluster fuck in my mind honestly. We began our 3rd and final year of the course in the midst of looking for a new housemate. Alcohol was flowing seemingly endlessly and freely, and both me and Ben had decided to watch every episode of Doctor who from 1963 – 2013 in order (Including some of the missing ones) literally for the rest of 2013 and half of 2014 our days could be summed up as: Wake up for lectures, watch about 16 episodes of Doctor who a day (Sometimes more sometimes less) do a few hours of course work and if we had time, or if we wanted a change, cram in some MST3K…all the while while heavily under the influence and still getting up to the kind of things students are well known for. Everything all blended in to one big ball of memories. The only thing I remember is that we started with “An Unearthly Child” in the first week of September and by the 2nd week of December we’d hit “The Invasion of Time” it was like living in a washing machine.

(We kept a scorebook and watched everything from “An unearthly child” to “Time of the Doctor”…we called each other up on Christmas day to talk about it!)

2014 was the best year of my life to date. Honest to god. You couldn’t make this shit up. As years go it was a blinder. So; kicking the year off we were back on the Doctor who marathon. And we’d just started Tom Baker in season 16. Ace. I’d also heard in the first week of the new year that some of my films had been selected for screenings in Florida, Australia and in and around the UK. Nice. I was working on a film at the time that was inspired by “Christmas Cooking with Fanny Craddock” and that film would go on to be screened at the BFI and would receive a 2nd place award for best film of the night at said event. Brilliant. My partner was in a stable place, was happy and we’d realised this was now a long term thing. we were both very happy. Even more brilliant. I finished my time at university with a 2:1, loved by my peers, missed by my lecturers and with multiple accolades hanging up in the universities corridors. To say my fortunes had turned around would be an understatement. The hardest thing I had to do this year was to hand my student house keys back in once my time at uni had ended. Saying goodbye to Ben and my other housemates not knowing how long it would be before I’d see them again or whether we’d drift off forever genuinely bought a lump to my throat.

In the last weeks of my time in university I had applied to several film jobs and one of them came good working for a post production company. It was a hell of a commute to get in, but they all seemed really nice and the opportunity to be paid to do what I loved seemed too good to be true. So I walked out of university with a good degree and into a good job. Using the money I made from my job I took up driving lessons and passed by test in the November of that year. I bought my first car (A ’97 nissan micra…babe magent let me tell you now!) and to top the year off I won a reasonable sum of money on a scratch card meaning I could clear off the last of my university debts (Not including the student loan) AND have a nice Christmas as I continued to receive emails confirming my films had been selected for screenings across the world. On December 31st I spent the last few hours of the year at a party with my partner and some friends, loving every moment and genuinely not wanting it to end.

Unfortunately the rot begins to set in here.

2015 was a bit of a non year to my memory. It wasn’t a bad year. but it wasn’t good either…it just sort of happened to me. The job was still going well, but some of the varnish was beginning to come off. I was promised a rose garden. But I was beginning to smell manure. No jobs perfect mind. so I kept on carrying on despite my bosses increasingly strange requests and stipulations. My partner decided to start university in this year too. Which she enjoyed. Though this then put some strain on our relationship as I was working a 9-5 gig Monday to Friday and would frequently be exhausted and she was doing what I’d been doing for the previous 3 years. It was a difficult time. but we felt through it and eventually found a setup that worked after a few months. by the end of the year I was told I was to be given a pay rise for my good work. This ultimately however ended up with me making less money than before as I hit a tax bracket which led to me being 10 pounds worse off a year than before. (I was being paid just above minimum wage at the time). the year had it’s bad moments…but by the end things had more or less balanced out. it was overall still a quite good year…just not 2014 good.

On January the 9th 2016 I was sat in a pub in Manchester with Ben and we were joking about how awful it would be if David Bowie died. In amongst chatter about Kraftwerk and Lou Reed and the Bowie discography. The next day he was dead. Bowie had been a part of my life since I was 12 years old and after decades of bowies music being there for me and Blackstar having just been released. To have him suddenly die was an absolute shock to me (As it was to many others) I’ve always said there are only 3 celebrities I would ever seriously seriously mourn if they died. Bowie, Paul Heaton and Brian Wilson. It was a serious smash to the nuts. Im not going to lament too heavily on 2016. Mainly because every media outlet has done so. We lost a lot of good people that year, and a lot of very stupid and poor decisions were made. to me it was the beginning of the mess we’re in now. but on a personal level taking all the sorrow of politics and death out of the equation 2 things happened in this year. the first was that my job became increasingly unpredictable and untenable. My boss was beginning to become increasingly irratic and while I admire anyones dedication to 100% perfection. My boss at the time maybe took this a bit too far. By the end of 2016 my passion for the job had been utterly eroded by red tape. it became a job I just did. Rather than a job I loved. And as the screenings for my films slowly dried up too I found myself once again adrift.

2 things happened that were good for me in 2016. I got promoted to the most senior role in the post house. And one of my best friends for a number of years managed to get a job working under me at said post place. So I was suffering…but at least I wasn’t suffering alone.

(Sorry to assault your ears like that…but it was the first thing that came to mind…Dont know why though…again…sorry.)

2017 from a personal perspective was a bit of a non year. my relationship was steady, the year opened with my boss warning the whole company that the business could fold at any minute (It didn’t…) and my friend realised what mess he’d landed himself into as my boss had turned his attention to attacking both him and myself for anything and everything that wasn’t done 100% the way he wanted it doing (Often what he wanted would be decided on a then and there basis) by March I’d realised I hadn’t made a new film or done anything creative purely for myself in 3 years. I really wasn’t happy about that so I decided to set up a number of projects. Both me and Ben worked on a pythonesq, fast sketch inspired show called “Show Cancelled” which we pitched to several small cable TV networks to little or no success. I started writing a short horror revenge movie which got no further than half of a first draft. And, after helping my partner with some university coursework involving movie reviews for a magazine. coupled with a few other factors around finding information out. I decided to open a youtube channel where I would catalogue and talk about films that no one at all was even remotely interested in. the cult, the obscure, the weird. I did it mainly for semi-selfish reasons. I was fed up of not being able to find information about obscure films. and after being told I’d really liked a film I had no memory of watching from a friend. I decided it was probably a good idea to document my thoughts to confirm I wasn’t going crazy should that situation arise again.

It was the beginning of one of the best decisions id made in this half of the decade.

(Some time around November of 2017…so proud.)
  1. I’d had enough. A job I’d loved had been completely hollowed out by my boss who’s answer to anything not going exactly the way he wanted it to had been to just take those roles off me and give them to someone else permanently. Examples being; I missed punctuation off the end of a request email twice. As a result. I had the privilege or writing emails taken off me. I would produce edits for clients and the boss watched a couple of these, asked for changes, which I made, then when the client came back saying he didn’t like the changes the boss had suggested. The boss told me to re-edit the films and then took all the best film jobs that came in off me and gave them to someone else. By the end of my time at that place I was doing the absolute barest minimum and because they couldn’t just get rid of me they were in a situation where they couldn’t give me anything without it seeming like they were wrong to take stuff in the first place, but equally there wasn’t anything else I was skilled to do.

Things really came to a head when after 4 years of pushing to have a contract. The boss finally handed us a one size fits all form which contained a stipulation saying that if we left the business we would be unable to work in the specific field we applied for for 3 years thereafter. While that’s fine if you’re an accountant or a PR man in the job I applied for (Because It was a very niche job) it wasn’t fine for a jobbing editor. Basically it meant if I quit or left. I wouldn’t be able to be an editor for any other company for 3 years. I consulted a union about this who said it was completely unlawful. My boss found out I’d contacted a union and called a “Meeting” which amounted to him and the accountant basically screaming in my face for an hour, calling me “Scum” making out that they were a family and that they’d felt betrayed by what id done. They then basically said that if I didn’t sign the contract there and then I’d be chucked out and never work again. I should have left there and then. But I needed this experience as It was my first time working in a film related industry and the 4 years + the reference would have really helped me get on. I signed and immediately set about plans to leave.

(Yeaaahhhhh I was pretty much done.)

It took a few months but eventually my partner found somewhere that seemed pretty good,it was outside the film industry, but on substantially better pay. The hours were very reasonable, it was almost on my doorstep as opposed to the near hours drive in and hour and a halfs drive out I’d been doing. I passed the probation period and I was having a good time. not many people really “Got” me in this new place. But I was allowed to have headphones on and I was pretty much left alone. So it was great. I could be left alone, catch up on audio books AND get paid for the privilege of doing a job I didn’t hate.  By September of that year I’d had a promotion and was now on a HELL of a lot more money that I had been in the previous job AND I was now entitled to work from home if I wanted. which would come in handy for what was going to happen next.

My partner y’see had not been doing too well…in her last year of university she suffered a breakdown and had had to drop out of university to recover. Only she didn’t have a family home to go back to and we were in the process of saving for a home of our own. So she ended up sofa surfing for a while eventually winding up back at her old lodgers house where her mental health had deteriorated rapidly. By August of 2018 she was in a very bad place and needed to get her own space. This came in the form of a supported housing project in which she was given her own flat and a support worker who would make sure she was doing alright and could get back on her feet. Unfortunately she continued to deteriorate until by September she was deeply. Deeply unwell and required both myself and her support worker to support her. The working from home allowed me to do this (Something that would have been absolutely out of the question in my old job…) and on at least half a dozen occasions that ability quite literally saved my partners life. Because of how fragile she had been during this time I had to stop doing pretty much everything. I cobbled together what I could for my youtube channel to make sure I could get to the end of the year and not just stop making videos abruptly, and spent my time running between my house, her flat and the hospital. It was fucking grim to say the least. I didn’t get to spend the end of 2018 with my partner as she was in the hospital and wasn’t allowed visitors.

2019 started much the same way, my partner was still unwell, I was beginning to strain to keep up with the demand of making sure she was alright while also holding down a job AND I began to worry about what I was going to do with my youtube channel. And to make matters worse due to an error within HR. my company mistakenly made my redundant in February of that year. apparently my job title hadn’t changed on the internal systems meaning I was still listed in the job I had before I got promoted. I was manning a quite critical part of the business when this happened and at first no one listened to me when I told them there must have been a mistake, that is until my manager spoke up and then they realised something had gone wrong. They couldn’t just undo the redundancy however as all the paperwork had been arranged and things had to be processed before thay could be re-processed. So I was told that they effectively didn’t know what was going to happen to me. all they could advise was that I hold tight for 6 months while things got sorted out. then my manager got made redundant. Then the team who got me made redundant got made redundant and basically I spent from February till about September of this year without a Scooby doo as to exactly where I stood and what was happening with my position. At this point I’ve been told Im now safe, but that my contract needs completely rewriting to bring it up to date. Theres no ETA on when that’s going to happen. But that, barring major incident Im not going anywhere any time soon.

(Things picked up towards the years end and hopefully they will continue to do so.)

It’s been a turbulent time for my partner as well, she was in a bad way till about May time when there finally came a bit of a calm. She’s still up and down now mentally but for the most part at least she seems in control of her situation. If not vying towards the precarious. I don’t know whats going to happen to her. But for now she’s more stable than she’s been in months and I hope this lasts as long as possible.

Equally in February of 2019 we adopted a cat together. Her name is Zelda and she’s perfect. I wish you could meet her dear reader as im sure you would agree. 2019 would also be the year I would propose to my partner. After 7 years of us both thinking the other wasn’t interested in marriage. In 2018 we got very drunk and actually spoke about it. and when we sobered up in the morning. We were both still interested I asked her then and she said yes. So while on literally the worst holiday I’ve ever been on in my life (Seriously if you ever meet me in real life feel free to ask me about this. It was Fucking awful) 12 months on from that discussion I finally asked her with a ring. And she didn’t turn me down. So y’know what? fair play to her naturally im over the moon that she’s tolerated me for this long!.We have no plans for a wedding just yet as we’re still trying to get a house sorted out. but we’ll take things one step at a time.

(You bet your sweet bippy she did!)

And so we arrive at the present day. I’ve been working hard on season 7 of the show which is looking likely to go out in the first week of March 2020 I’ve done 10 episodes out of 16 or 17, I recently sat down with Ben to do 2 new comedy dining experiences which will be a hell of a laugh to edit I can tell you now. and for the last 3 weeks I’ve been on Annual leave from work, watching movies and running round like a headless chicken trying to please everyone in both mine and my partners families. Its been very stressful but then Christmas usually is. Personally im considering booking another holiday as soon as possible! theres a lot of possibility on the horizon over the next decade. And shits looking bleaker than it’s ever looked before in terms of politics and media. So all I can say is. If this last decades taught me anything. It’s seize the day, enjoy every minute you can get. Don’t cow tow to people who are clearly wrong. Admit your mistakes and no matter how weird, out there or fucked up you think your being.

Theres always someone out there who’ll appreciate you for who you are and what you do. Never be disheartened by dismissal. Because things DO work out. even if it isn’t the way you were expecting. I started the decade alone, emotionally damaged, poor and isolated. Im ending it with a fiancé, a cat, a best friend, a circle of close friends and acquaintances, awards and acknowledgement, a drivers license and a job I enjoy. I have goals, I have direction, and in 2 and a bit years I’ve grown a youtube channel about bad movies, art house films and the kind of stuff you find in a bargain bin from 0 to 250 subscribers (And I’ve made some damn fine friends in the process) I hope that the good things continue and the bad things are lessened. And I hope the same happens for you too… It’s now 5:35am and I have a new years eve party to attend later tonight. One of the few parties I’ve ever chosen to go to (due to the aforementioned pub man lifestyle) so Im looking forward to it. I wish you all a happy 2020 and I really hope the next decade is as kind as it will allow.

Im going to leave you below with a list of 10 films I saw this decade that either blew my mind or have personal sentimental value to me. They arnt specific to this decade…they’re just films I’ve seen this decade:

*House (Hasu) (1977)

*The Wicker man (1973)

*Robocop (1988)

*Bloody New Year (1987)

*Head (1968)

*Day of the Dead (1985)

*All Ladies do it (1992)

*Doctor Strangelove (1964)

*Theatre of Blood (1973)

*Video Nasties: The Definitive Guide (2010)

– Dan

https://youtu.be/CRKP91Mn1Cg

(This is the last song I’ve fallen in love with this decade. Also; this was the decade I fell in love with Itallian Synth/Discopop. I hope you like it too.)