Dark Breed (1996)

Well; We’re back on the Prism Leisure movies and that can only mean one thing! Superphantasmacraporia! yes we’re back in the kind of tat that could barely sell more than 5 copies as a standalone release so they’ve been bundled onto a multi film/single disc release to try and squeeze as much cash from hard working punters as possible.

One thing that did dawn on  me most recently is just how weird the context of these multi disc sets really were when you think about them…I mean; here you have DVD a fully digital (and for the time) super sharp revolutionary way to watch your films that little bit closer to how the film makers originally intended. gone was the fuzz, gone was the degeneration, gone was the hissy soundtrack. And whats one of the first things they decide to bundle in with early DVD players as a way of shifting units? Why! 25-50 movies that were all shot on a shoe and made for a budget of £5 in a capark, bit crushed to within an inch of there lives and dumped on a single DVD. What astounding revolutionary leaps!

I mean; they dont even have the excuse of “well; it’s impressive that they could fit 2-4 movies on a single disc” because towards the end of VHS’s lifespan they too were able to do double…and sometimes even TRIPLE features on a single tape (I have a few of those tucked away)…I get that it was supposed to represent value for money. that you’d be in the shop and the salespersone could say “Well look! we’re selling it for £70 AND you get ALL THESE FREE MOVIES WITH THEM!!!” and in some of the earlier releases there were some pretty cool movies bundled in (One of the multi disc sets I have is full of crap but it does have Witchboard and Waxwork on it…which frankly are streets ahead of “Lets ruin Dads day” or “Final Scream” I dunno…It just seems weird to me that anyone would be incentivised to buy a cheap DVD player with a load of crappy films and it be the crappy films that sold it. but I imagine a fair few did fly off the shelves back in the day because of it.

(I have very fond memories of my grandad buying his first DVD player and it coming with a metric crap ton of multi film DVDs…that was how I was introduced to the “Robocop TV Movies” and the “Species” franchise…god that was a fun and terrible weekend!)

(This poster is just so cheap looking…im pretty sure it’s fan made…but that would imply this film had fans…)

Little Heros (1999)

It took me a while to get around to the other feature shown on the prism leisure ultra cheapo kids double pack collection which featured the worst film i’ve ever seen “Lets Ruin Dads Day“. Indeed I put off talking about “Little Hero’s” for so long purely because I couldnt face seeing what film would be deemed “On par’ with such a terrible terrible movie. Which I think is why Im so non plussed about this movie. it’s not offensively bad, but you definitely could do better.

Its a rip off film at it’s heart mainly happy to try and suck any life it can get from the Home alone movies or the “Talking animal” genre which became very popular in the early to mid 90’s but by 1999 was most definitely on the wane.

Honestly; if you never saw this movie you’d never miss it…which is probably the most damning thing I can say about it. it’s impact in the world is as such that if it completely vanished off the face of the earth tomorrow. Probably only half a dozen people would even notice or care.

the cardinal sin is “Thou Shalt not Bore” and this films predictable plot, bad acting, below standard slapstick and generally poor production values (Made only worse by the blatant pizza hut promotional pieces) just left me waiting for this film to end.

I will do the sequels at some point…but at the minute my “To Watch” Pile is literally terrifying and I also am in desperate need of making a new blog for the site…so it may be a while before we find out how good the script was that a studio decided “Little Hero’s 2” was a good idea.

(This film didnt have a film poster (As far as I could find). So here’s the DVD cover. I dont know what im looking at…it looks like someone just took random stills/promotional work and laid them over someones shed…to me; its an offense to the eyes)