Ring of Terror (1962)

This is quite easily one of the worst films I’ve ever seen. In fact had I not Let’s ruin dads day this would probably have been THE worst film I’ve ever seen. As it stands it occupies a very tight 3rd place position with the movie “Bikini Model Accademy”.

The biggest problem with this one is that it’s just so dull. It literally looks and feels like a teen comedy movie thats bookended by a horror movie. and the film seemingly forgets that it’s a horror movie about 10 minutes in. I’ve never seen such a blatant disregard for an audience before. This films going to tell the narrative it wants to tell and to hell with anyone who thinks that a film should be interesting or actually have a point.

I rag on this film throughout my review so I’ll save you effectively re-reading my thoughts on this one but since I made this review I can certainly say that my opinion on this one hasnt changed a bit. I still recall it being as dull, boring and a dredge of a watch as it most likely was when I first watched it.

The Mill creek Multipack DVD sets seem like relatively good value for money on paper (I paid £5 for 50 films which included this movie) but unless (Like me) your using these sets for your own personal amusement or for the benefit of a review/analysis series you do end up with a hell of a lot of duds. There are a few gems thrown into the mix (Gammera and Night of the living dead being good examples of this) but on the whole these sets are very spotty affairs.

I didnt know what to expect when watching this movie, I’d not seen or heard anything about it before watching it, and it surprised me in a terrifically bad way. only emphisisng that was when I finally went on IMDB and wikipedia to find terrible promotional material and somehow even worse prints of this movie than the one included on my set (which was pretty ropey to begin with) A disaster of a film that caught me completely off guard. watch it at your peril!

 

(The film poster in this thumbnail is literally the best thing about this movie…)

Terror in Beverly Hills (1989)

I cannot begin to explain my frustration with this film. both in sourcing it and in reviewing it the entire thing just left me on the border of wanting to tear my hair out. Theres still no easy way to get a hold of this movie. It took me the best part of 2 days of backroom skullduggery to find a copy that wasnt utterly destroyed by youtubes compression systems.

Since I recorded this review I also attempted a further 2 more times to get a copy of this film once more on DVD (And guess what I ended up with…) and a final time on VHS tape, which I was feeling pretty confident about until the deal fell through at the last minute and the seller pulled out and dissapeared.

I think I’ve pretty much decided that i’ll never actually get my hands on this movie in a legitimate form…well barring a Bluray release…like that’ll ever happen!!. Though in all fairness the movie just isnt that good to begin with. its a 50/50 split of unbelieveably amazing campy bad movie action cheese and just really dull and boring non plot…

Only damaging it further is the sound fault throughout which is only using one channel of a stereo recording…it means quite often sound effects, room tone and peoples voices will just dissapear from the movie all together…again; I have no idea whether this is how its always been or whether the limited resources that this film has means that the only version available online is a broken version.

This is probably the closest i’ve come so far to having a journey while reviewing a movie…it shouldnt be this difficult to get a hold of a film thats been available at least twice on DVD and has been released in multiple countries on VHS…it just shouldnt. and yet here I am in a situation where seemingly the film might as well not exist for how easy it is to get a hold of it.

Its not an irrideamable movie. it has some really good moments and some very strange film work…it’s just not worth the effort to go and seek it out…you could either watch my review or “Red letter medias” coverage of this film and you’ll have pretty much seen everything worth seeing in this film.

(I dont know one person who doesnt immediately fall in love with Cameron mitchell and the police woman who cant type in this film. they’re mesmorizing)

Nekromantik (1987)

I don’t really know what went on in my mind when I considered picking this one up. I was hesitant, I remember that much. But with “Arrow Video” being synonymous with quality to me I felt assured that however “Nekromantik” panned out, there would at least be some assurance that what I was buying would have some level of cult or artistic merit

What I wasn’t expecting was just how near the knuckle “Nekromantik” is at times. Since watching this film I’ve since seen the likes of movies like “Cannibal Holocaust” and this movies sequel “Nekromantik 2” so my expectations are a little better managed. Though this film is still pretty high up there.

Since this video was uploaded one of the things that’s really stuck in my mind when reading other reviews of this movie (as I try to avoid reading other people’s reviews until mines been done as I don’t want to feel like I’m subcociously “lifting” other people’s thoughts) is just how few people pick up on the John waters influences in this film. Seriously when you realise that the director of this film was heavily inspired by the likes of movies like “Pink flamingos” and “Female trouble” then the campy undertones of this production really come out in a wonderful flourish.

Is this an extreme movie? Well; Arrow saw it fit to release this film both as a fully restored and a “nasty” era inspired grindhouse cut…So Id say there are excessive elements to this film. But “Nekromantik” to me is one of those special types of films that has somehow managed to perfectly straddle the lines between “cult shock value horror” “extreme border pornographic content” and “art house sensibilities” and I love this movie for that…

As mentioned, I’ve since watched the sequel to this and it’s alright…in some ways it’s a bit harsher than this film in others it’s a bit sillier but I’ll give my full thoughts on this one another time. Though what I will say is I still prefer the original and if your looking for a new challenging watch; I highly recommend checking this one out.

(The main theme to this film was my ringtone for a while…I thought that anyone who recognised it wasn’t in a position to judge)

Dawn of the Dead – Zombi (1978)

So im going to try and keep this one a bit briefer than my usual posts that accompany these videos. Partly because I don’t have a tremendous amount to say, and partly because I’m using this post as a test of the WordPress mobile app and typing a multi paragraph analysis of my retrospective thoughts on producing these reviews from a tiny mobile phone screen is at best frustrating and at worst may result in me needing a new phone after smashing this one.

Dawn of the Dead is a near perfect masterpiece of the zombie genre. In my review I mention that it’s the Rosetta stone of zombie movies and I still stand by that. It’s not only the best place to start someone off on the genre who may never have seen a zombie movie before (because I’m told those people exist) but it’s arguably the best zombie movie full stop.

With near perfect direction, cine, colour and lighting, scripting, acting, soundtrack and editing; you’ll find it damn difficult to find another film that achieves so much in such little time.

My only memories of recording this episode was that I very fondly remember watching it on my old Arrow video DVD before immediately growing frustrated at the fact that the UK bluray was out of print and commanding ludicrous prices on Amazon and eBay. A good bluray of Dawn is currently still one of my “most wanted” releases.

Other than that, all I can really say about this is that I’m tremendously sorry for the sound mix of this one…it turns out that my speakers wernt properly balanced when I did the sound mix for this one and as a result the music occasionally drowns me out…I corrected this after my “Day of the Dead” review but this one suffers a bit more than the others…so my sincerest apologies…itll probably be one I’ll need to correct at some point…

(I often jostle between this and “Day” for my favourite “Of the Dead” movie…)

The Nanny (1965)

I have a real soft spot for the Hammer movies, they really have a charm about them. obviously there horror films are probably there most well known productions but Hammer had a quite diverse filming range outside of horror and sci-fi as well. The Nanny is a prime example of this really as its really more of a psychological thriller than anything really resembling a horror movie…I mean; I suppose the ending falls a little bit into the Macarbre but realistically the rest of this movie is about as close to a non horror as hammer could get really.

I think this is one of Bette Davies’ finest roles as the titular “Nanny” and she’s terrifically watchable as she flicks in style between the very sensible and well measured on the surface Nanny and the role she eventually ends up playing towards the end of the film.

I cover pretty much everything I can say about this movie in the review itself but I would also like to add that since publishing this review I’ve found it amazing how difficult it is to actually find much information about this movie. Mainly due to the fact that there was a CBS sitcom called “The Nanny” which ran from 1993 to 1999. I dont know how popular that show was but according to google it was more popular than this film…You can mark this one down as another “Underrated movie that doesnt get the amount of airing that it should”.

(Based on the “Bath” scene I can see why this one isnt played on Television all that often…still criminally underrated though…)

Tormented (1960)

Public domain films are quite literally that. Films that for; whatever reason, have fallen out of copyright (Meaning noone legally owns the rights) and that the films are free to be used by the public in whatever manner suits them whether thats screening the film to a wider audience, cutting it up to spice up there own personal projects or even (As was very popular in the early 90s) chopping out the weirdest bits and using them to make a trippy Dance music video.

Arguably the most well known of these public domain films would be “Night of the living dead” but really its a sprawling and constantly growing set of content that cover most genres decades and styles.

Companies like Mill creek entertainment and Treeline films can make a tidy profit from grab bag compilation sets. charging between £10 and £20 for sets of 50 to 100 films all tied loosely to a specific genre…I myself own 3 of those sets (Horror classics, sci-fi classics and Nightmare worlds) and they’re infinately useful in bulking up a film collection and introducing you to films that are either so godawful you wouldnt touch them with a barge pole or so forgotten that they havent been re-evaluated since the late 80’s/early 90s

“Tormented” is one of these films. though arguably it had a hell of a boost in reputation by being featured on an episode of “Mystery Science theatre 3000”  (And its a very enjoyable episode thats currently up on youtube and I recommend watching the riffed version of this rather than the unriffed one) unriffed this film is quite slow and unfortunately I now own it at least 3 times (The MST3K version, the version on my mill creek set, and a copy on my “Something weird video” copy of “The Monsters Crash the Pyjama party Spooktacular Spectacular” (which I will talk about at some point because its a bloody interesting DVD release)

There isnt really a tremendous amount I recall about Tormented that I dont already mention in the review. Its definately not a masterpiece but at the same time it does have at least 1 or 2 small things that are trying to work in its favour…though I go into way more detail in my video review of this:

(The Poster is literally the coolest thing about this film…I want this film poster in my house some day…gorgeous stuff…)

The Stuff (1985)

So I have a bit of a dilemma with this one. The Stuff (1985) was made by Larry Cohen and I LOVE Larry Cohen films. I really do. they’re often very entertaining and a bit manic. And I can wholeheartedly reccommend you go and watch this film pretty much without hesitation because its a wondefully subersive look at 80’s consumerist culture. However; When I first uploaded this episode it more or less instantly got flagged by a 3rd party company. the company who claimed this video for copyright infringement dont own the rights to “The Stuff” and I know they dont own the rights to it because not only did I get in touch with the official distributors who explained they’ve had problems in the past from this 3rd party company but that theres literally nothing they can do to stop them claiming copyright on their copyrighted material. So I got in touch with these theiving gits and not one of them would talk to me. they didnt even acknowlege reciept after multiple emails. So I challenged them on youtube after trying to reach out and within minutes they’d upheld the claim.

Meaning that this episode is the only episode on my channel that is currently set up to monetize to a 3rd party. So I wholeheartedly apologise. theres nothing really I can do about this and it makes me feel awful. All I can tell you is to actively NOT watch this episode (I’d rather take the hit) until such a time that I can re-edit and re-upload this video in a shorter form. What I can say is “The Stuff” is a great movie that you should definately check out!

(Conform!, Consume!, Obey…) – Mr. Snaffleburger