Doctor Screw (2006)

When it came to choosing a “Red Triangle” that would see off “Alternate Doctor who month” it was really no question in my mind at least that porn would be the end result. I mean, I maybe could have gone with Torchwood or Class…something a bit more adult but still in universe, but I thought it was too mainstream, too well connected to the series to fly to be honest.

Next my thoughts went to BBV and there were some very serious considerations for “The Airzone Solution” or the “Auton” series. But again while I think they may work well as a TYTD episode in the future it just wasnt right here. Porn. Porn was what was needed and by gum porn was what I settled for!

Of course the options were bountiful (No pun intended) “Doctor who and the Phaleks” was my go to option for the longest time before briefly swapping to the “Woodrocket” sequences, there was even a brief dabble with “Abducted by the daleks” but in the end “Doctor Screw” was one of those porn films that had both not been widely covered and one that I distinctly remember doing the rounds in the early days of the David Tennant era with a dirty smirk and a cheeky chuckle from the Doctor who fandom back in the day. so I was happy to pick that one purely due to its lack of coverage.

It’s quite frankly appauling as pornography. But in terms of being a piece of alternative cultural history it really is a piece of its time. I pretty much say everything I can possibly say about this series in my review itself but even for its impotence I’d recommend fans of the new series check this one out. it’s really weird due to just how early it came out in the new series’ run and as a result it kind of fudges its way through the best it can. It’s also interesting from a historical standpoint as it marks the transition between porn parodies being a cheap and cheerful rubbish affair to being a highly polished and nightmare inducing rubbish affair (Im looking at you Strokemon).

Either way this is a very bizarre notch in Doctor who history and I really couldnt think of a better way to see this season off.

(I really love that boxart for the complete set…I own the solo releases and they’re rubbish by comparison…)

The Crystal of Achillon (1994)

I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with the Projection room films in all honesty. In the past 5 years or so things seemingly have gone quite quiet for the fan production group from the north of England with there intricate and entangled multiverses…

My main problem I seem to remember having with them (It has been a couple of years since I last went through them all) is that they do seem to take themselves very seriously. While theres definitely an aire of fun behind all of the films they’ve produced, I do rather get the feeling that theres a subtle hint of egotism behind there projects. just a dash…I see it in there extensive extras packages which compile various minor TV appearences and making of documentaries that pretty much consist of Chris Hoyle just regailing his memories of being on set. the fact I paid money for these films at one point or another. Where as Ausweb and the likes seemed unashamedly for fun and they felt completely comfortable producing a lower budget/quality movie with its sould in the right place. the later Projection room films just seem to be missing a bit of heart. just that vibe that says “We’re having a laugh here” to me, the later films from this group just kind of feel a little bit like they quite desperately want to be closely tied to the show in any possible way, forgetting that ultimately they’re both the largest fan film group for Doctor who in the country and the longest established fan film group in the country.

I’ll probably air those grievences though next time I decide to do a Doctor who month. For now though it’s 1994 and the projection rooms little more than this movie and possible two very short stories. it’s a small group of friends making a goofy and very affectionate fan film trying to continue a series that was in the midst of the early half of a 16 year hiatus. and its all good fun really. I was maybe a bit overly harsh with this one, on its own its perfectly find I feel I may have had my enthusiasm dampened for it somewhat by the history that would be written after this movie got made.

The Crystal of Achillon is arguably one of the perfect starting points if your looking to get into Doctor who fan films. as is the projection room for that matter. through there history you’ll see fan films done right, fan films done very wrong and better still quite a few cast and crew members went on to make their own fan films independent from the projection room. In terms of british fan films. The projection room arguably is the core of a very very sprawling hobby. and I can only commend them for it in that regard.

 

(Yeh; my thoughts and feelings on the projection room are a bit garbled. they’ve been going for so long its impossible not to feel mixed about what they do and how they do it)

The Australian Abominable Snowmen (1996)

Australian Abminable Snowmen is the second and final venture into Doctor who for Butchgro films and it upsets me really that outside of potentially doing commentaries for these two short films that its very unlikely I’ll ever be able to talk about a Butchgro production again.

I have a genuine soft spot for these movies. they genuinely seem to have come from a place of admiration for the TV show they’re remaking. the cast seem very positive about it and as far as I can tell they’re proud of what they were able to achieve back in the early/mid 90’s.

These films are not masterpieces. I’d be being disingenuous if I were to say these were high quality master works. They are however very joyous and very entertaining. I can smile along and enjoy these films while feeling the fun the cast and crew were having when making these films. And these were dedicated fans. in this film alone they travelled many miles just to find authentic snow for a handful of shots to illustrate the outer border of the monestary. When the filming finished/juddered to a halt they both sat through over 12 months of solid graft editing in order to ensure that the movie would be finished. EvenĀ  if there would only ever be a handful of people who’d ever actually even see it. This was nearly a full decade before youtube would become a thing you have to imagine so they made this film knowing that, other than there small circle of friends, noone may actually see this.

Since releasing these two reviews I have recieved some very kind words both from David Butcher (Who reiterated him and Grants full intent to remaster and re-release these two movies (Which I sincerely hope they do) and members of the gallifrey base message board who seemingly had little to no idea that this movie even existed in the first place.

I dont want to sound egotistical but im glad I did my bit to ensure that this movie got seen again. And if your a veteran of the cult and strange cinema genre I highly recommend you check these two films out. There weird wonderful a a genuinely fun experience to zone out to. a definate watch from me!

 

(While Snowmen is entertaining “Ausweb” will always hold a special place in my heart)