Shogun Saints (Boxers of Loyalty and Righteousness) (1972)

A second article in one day!? yes I am spoiling you all! So! I’ve cocked up basically…when I plan my seasons I always try and do 3 TYTD episodes followed by a red triangle. This is for a couple of reasons. First and foremost is that their are more TYTD style films in the world than their are Red triangle ones. Red triangle episodes also take much longer to produce than TYTD episodes due to the amount of information that goes into them. And generally? I quite like keeping the red triangle episodes as once a month episodes purely because it’s like a nice little treat for the end of the month.

This month however I messed up. I’ve had a lot of work on my plate both in my personal life and behind the scenes on the channel and as a result I misread my schedules and ended up with 1 episode too many in this season…I usually try and aim for 18…though based on my current counting it’s now closer to 19 if not 20…rest assured next week their will be an “As scheduled” red triangle episode but in the mean time here’s one more TYTD episode to keep you going.

This ones a bit of an oddity…apparently it’s a quite rare film to own on video tape…it was part of the haul I secured a number of months ago and honestly? It’s very unmemorable. I dont want to come across as egotistical or vein in any sense but honestly? I’d say if you’ve watched this review of the film you’ve pretty much seen everything worth seeing from the movie. it’s not at all memorable and when I need to free up some space in a few months time I’ll most likely end up flogging this one…it’s about as much fun as a quite tame kung-fu movie can be…meh..this film is meh…

 

(the label on my VHS copy of this keeps falling off and the spindles that are supposed to hold the tape inside the carton artn snug enough to hold it…as a result doing the “Packaging shot” for this episode was a total nightmare…with either the label falling off while on the turntable, Or the whole tape falling out of the carton and taking the box with it as they hurtle towards the ground…cracking fun I can assure you.)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)

Okay so this morning I woke up to find that today’s episode (much like last week’s episode) has been blocked worldwide…this is a problem…I’m deciding whether or not to do a blog or a video about this because it may end up becoming a real issue for my channel if this keeps happening…in the mean time I’ve removed the video from this post and once it’s fixed and reuploaded I’ll relink it here…needless to say I’m livid…more to follow…

So! Its been a good few months since my “TMNT: The movie” review and I couldnt in good faith leave you guys with just that movie alone! So here’s the sequel! In all honesty I never saw this movie growing up. and in many ways I think it was probably for the better…I dont have that level of personal nostalgia over the live action films; that level of investment in them that may make me a bit bias towards how good or bad they were…had this been the 80’s cartoon series I may be telling you a different story right now, but the reality is that I always try to approach any film I review with an open mind. I leave any baggage at the door where I can and I try and talk about the film in a way that both gives you my opinion on it while at the same time being objective enough that you can get a feel for the tone yourself.

I’ll be honest, I wasnt the biggest fan of this film (Though the review will tell you more) but I do have to aknowlege that theres good stuff in here. I dont think any film is absolutely irrideamable…well “Almost” any film…but I have a soft spot for the turtles and I like the iterations of it that I like more often than not for the writing and tone. the turtles have gone for every major audience demographic going since there inception in the 80’s so theres something really for everyone out there if you look hard enough (Yes I know theres ninja turtle porno’s…no I wont be talking about them…this year…)

But I digress! for now! here’s Ninja Turtles

(The poster for this one isnt as good as the first turtles movie poster…I mean…it’s not bad…but I think the other one did it better…)

Balance of Power (Hidden Tiger) (1996)

Balance of power was a bit of an unexpected hit for me in all honesty. I really wasnt expecting much in the way of this being any good (In fact I was quite frankly dragging my heels about reviewing this one because I really wasnt in the mood to review a generic martial arts movie) and yet Billy Blanks surpassed my expectations with this very overly macho but somehow slightly self aware martial arts action movie.

There was a turning point for me with this one. At first I thought my fears were all but confirmed as the film opened with a slouch into a generic “Bad guy” style affair, however by the time of the 2nd act training montage it was like a switch had been hit on this film and it very quickly upped the pace and quality of the production with a sweeping 2nd and 3rd act that were really quite enjoyable to sit through.

I’d struggle to say that this one was an out and out classic. Its still quite a generic affair. But I distinctly remember at the time coming away surprised that it wasnt absolutely awful (Not that thats a glowing endorsement exactly, saying somethings “Not awful” is completely different from saying “Is bloody amazing”

It does what it does rather well. Since this review I’ve managed to get my hands on quite a few of Billy Blanks films (Which will slowly be covered as I *Hopefully* go on) but the immediate thought thats struck me with his works is that it would be really helpful and general beneficial to everyone if they assembled some kind of “Best of Blanks” thin boxset…maybe 2-3 discs with 2 movies per disc on them. nothing fancy just something that collects some of his movies in a thin set so that people dont have to try and find them in dribs and drabs. I think he’d probably build up quite a cult following internationally if they were to do something like that.

In the US Im told both Blanks and his son are quite well known and run a line of fitness programmes. In the UK I dont think they’re quite that well known but im sure if your into your martial arts films that you’ll probably be aware of him…as for me? Well I’ve seen a few of his films but im always open to seeing more…

 

(I should also probably add that this film is off the scale in terms of being ludicrously cheesy)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie (1990)

I “Ummed” and “Ahh’d” about doing this one for months. Im really not kidding. This review was originally going to be in my second season but I put it off when I realised the kind of scale I was dealing with in terms of just how broad the “Turtles” fandom actually is. there are comic books, many many cartoon series that are both directly and indirectly linked, TV specials, live action TV series, music videos, reams and reams of merchendise and even obscure stuff like the Ninja turtles anime series.

Because researching for this film basically led me down a massive rabbit hole I decided to put it off till my third season, and with the help of a very dear friend of mine (Who’s also a massive Ninja turtles fan) I slowly but surely pieced together the backstory for how this movie came to be.

As a kid I was into the Ninja turtles, while I did watch the later UK broadcasts on CBBC in the 90’s my strongest memory of watching the turtles came in the form of the VHS series:

(This one specifically)

I watched this tape quite literally to death, while I never quite wore the reels down to nothing I watched it enough that the picture deteriorated to a blurry mess that my machine eventually ate. I loved the animated kids series from this time, from the unbelieveably ultra cool intro sequence (With the “Hero” in tact becase the BBFC were terrified even the mention of the word “Ninja” in a kids show would turn us all into corrupted Rambo-esq murderers) to there affinity with pizza (An affinity I completely understand) through to the surreal and wonderful images of the technodrome and Kang. There was just something so tonally unusual about the series that kept me always coming back for more.

The confession I have here is that I never actually saw the live action movies at the time. I watched the original cartoon series, “The Next mutation” and the 2000’s cartoon series (I have very faded memories of pawing through one of the comic books as well at some point) but until this review I’d never seen the live action movie series. here’s a mild spoiler though for this year; literally yesterday I started editing together my review for TMNT 2: Secret of the Ooze and I was quite stunned by just how tonally different these two films are, and just how much darker the first film is when compared to its sequels.

The first ninja turtles movie isĀ  amazingly bleak by comparison to the rest of the turtles franchise…and while it isnt quite as dark as the comic books, I’d feel quite confident in saying it’s probably the darkest iteration of the turtles that I’ve seen to date. I dont think I’d have appreciated this movie as a kid, but as an adult I can absolutely appreciate it. it’s a well written, well produced movie in its own right. hell I almost feel bad calling it a kids film.

 

(Ending aside I really did enjoy this one. now Im craving pizza…)

Crazy Guy with Super Kung-fu (1979)

Well, I can honestly say It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a film quite like “Crazy Guy with Super Kung-fu” (Also known as “Yu tou dai lao ben tu di” in its original language) The closest film I can compare this to would be “The Dragon lives again” and I first watched that film in 2009. So it was a very welcome change to watch a martial arts film that didnt take itself seriously, played more for comedy than it did the action pieces, and didnt fall flat on its face in the way “Descendants of wing chun” did…

But this film isnt all prat-falls and bad jokes. Theres actually some really well choreographed fight scenes thrown into the mix and it appears that the same company who dubbed “Wing chun” also dubbed this film as several voices and styles of delivery are painfully present here…in particular theres one voice actor in many of these films who sounds to me like a spot on “Carry on” era Kenneth Williams…

This voice acting cant be serious. I know it cant be serious. because if they genuinely thought that giving these films the voice styles they did would make the movie look and sound cool then they’re viewing a different version of reality to my own.

There are moments in this film that are just downright surreal. See the scene in my review with the homless person dancing around the restraunt singing about how the buildings condemned. its not completely out of place with the rest of the film tonally, but I do have to wonder what on earth was going on in the film makers minds when they stitched this one together.

Though weird and suffering from the effects of combining two genres that shouldnt go together (Super serious kung fu action and Campy “Carry on” comedy) I actually quite enjoyed this one. So much so that it actually earned a place on my “Do not chuck” shelf. Which is home to my blu-rays, DVD’s and tapes and contains all the classics and rarities that I simply will never even consider throwing away. I think this would be a good b-picture to “The Dragon lives again” in many ways…something to warm the audience up and give them a good kicking into the kind of mindset that would get on with the likes of “Dracula vs Popeye” It’s dirt cheap on amazon and I’d say go and check it out if you can. I dont recall it being groundbreaking, but its still an enjoyable picture.

As a final note. This is another review I wasnt 100% happy with. I had to record it in a different place to where I normally record my audio, it was the middle of the night, and I had to be quiet; So I dont reallyĀ  feel like I got the best out of the recording that I could have…equally there are a few structuring issues with this one that I feel had I given it a bit more time I’d probably have been able to rectify…Still, you live and learn! I still pretty much say everything about the film that I wanted to in this, but I may come back to it some day just to tidy it up a bit…

(“LOOK AT THIS OLD CHICKEN!, YOU COULD SEE IT’S A GRANDFATHER!” – Crazy homeless man with clackers – 2017)

The Descendents of Wing Chun (Fo Shan Zan xian sheng) (1978)

This was one of the biggest fake out’s I think i’ve had on my channel to date. I picked this movie up expecting basically a very straight laced Kung-fu movie. And in many ways I think in its original dub this film probably was a lot more straight played than the english dubbed version is. Popping the disc in however I felt like the floor had dropped out from under me. It became very clear very quickly that all the mysticism, philosphy and general profoundness found in the original dub had been completely binned in favour of funny voice acting and playing the film down. Im not saying that this film was intended to be completely without humour; there are moments here that defiantely have that vibe both physically and in the dub. But here it makes “On the Busses” look like “The Kings Speech” rediculously over the top but one I can ultimately reccommend in terms of just how weird tonally it is.

(My only regret is that the character “Fatty the Kung-fu Yorkshireman” never made it into another movie #Sadtimes)

American Ninja 2: The Confrontation (1987)

American Ninja 2 (Often released with the subtitle “The Confrontation”) was a sequal to the original American ninja movie which came out in 1985. This is one of the few times I’ve spoken about a films sequel before I’ve delt with the original and there are a few reasons for that that were fairly tedious but basically boiled down to “When I started this channel I was only going to talk about Janky B-movies and experimental/erotic films” and the first American ninja movie is actually pretty good. its a bit slow in places but its fun enough…this film was a bit more unusual and weird and I thought at the time it would fit my channels tone a bit better. It may have also been down to the fact that i’d watched the first one only a week or 2 before I decided to start my channel in the first place and I really didnt feel up to rewatching a film like this so soon after i’d watched it for the first time. This was also the first episode I recorded for the second ever group of episodes I made šŸ™‚

(I’ll be honest; im a sucker for a ninja film that features genetically modified super ninjas)

EDIT [22/01/21]:

So At some point around 18 months ago, for reasons youtube cant fully explain to me, a glitch happened on my youtube channel scrubbing approximately 8 minutes of footage from the Above American Ninja review. I worked with them over a couple of days to try and retrieve it. But as far as they were concerned it has sadly been lost. So! I decided to try and put this right. In part because I plan to cover more American Ninja films on my channel in future, and in part because I actually kind of like this review. Im not massively fond of my early work (As most youtubers will atest after a certain period your ‘early works’ come with a healthy dose of cringe at what you could have done better/differently.

So I decided to rebuild the review! I luckily keep the original isolated vocals of every review I make and, while doing some frame matching for the review itself I sourced better quality copies of the footage, I worked on the layout, processed the audio and generally tidied the whole thing up to make it look and feel a lot more in line with my current reviews. I wouldnt say it was a ground up remake. more that this is a 2.5D reimagining of a 2D review. it’s just a bit more polished. AND it brings the review back from near obscurity! So I hope you enjoy this; it didnt take a particularly long time to put together, but I felt it needed doing! šŸ™‚

The Dragon Lives again! (The Deadly Hands of Kung Fu) (1977)

Well it’s usually good with these things to start at the beginning! and starting my youtube channel off all that time ago was this movie: 1977’s “The Dragon Lives again” also known as “The Deadly Hands of Kung fu”. I love this movie. like; I both love it and im In love with it. its my favourite martial arts film of all time just for how surreal and bizarre it is. Though the only downside of this being my first review is that because its the first one I didnt really get my style down properly. I talk too fast and I dont feel I said everything I could say about this awesome movie. consider this a pilot episode. I’ll need to revisit it at some point in the future but for now please enjoy one of the strangest (And most copyright infringiest!) movies I’ve ever seen…

https://youtu.be/ZymdxRbei8M

(Seriously…I bloody love this film)