The Commando Comedy Dining Experience (Theatrical Cut) (1985)

After a bit of a gap Myself and my partner in crime Ben are back once again! This time we tackle the 1985 macho Ultra Arnie movie “Commando!” It’s probably my 3rd favourite Arnie movie ever made (The other 2 being “Total Recall” and “Terminator 2”) but this ones easily got some of the best one liners and quotes in it!

 

Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror (1922)

Another Halloween’s upon us ladies and gents and once again I get to dig out some of the archives most terrifying creations to display for your entertainment and viewing pleasure. I’ve been trying to decide on a format for these halloween specials and I think for the time being at least that im going to do a year on a theme and a year on a series of halloween-esq movies…mainly because there are a lot of good halloween movies that dont necissarily fit into a theme. But also; there are loads of films that i’d love to talk about which I think if I link them while discussing their themes it creates a bit of “a history of” vibe…which I always encourage because it allows me to go deeper into the movies than I probably would…

naturally just doing 5 random halloween films every year would be a bit boring and wouldnt quite cover the depth I would like to cover. Equally if I did 5 themed films every year. I’d probably grow quite bored of the format. So this is a good happy medium…at least for the time being. by this logic next year will be a random assortment again.

Nosferatu isnt a film that i’d pick up regularly. it’s a good movie. But as I mention in the review I just dont really get on with Silent cinema all that much…I can appreciate it’s form and acknowlege that it is a item of it’s time. But I do struggle with quite a few of them and I find that finding good silent movies is quite a challenge. Because of this; It was a bit of a struggle to get this years theme well and truely under way. But Im glad I rewatched this movie as it really allowed me to get to the origins of the Vampire Mythology quickly and gloriously.

This is the start of a 5 part series on the history of Vampire movies from 1922 to 1986. You might wonder why it’s such an oddly specific timeframe. but those 64 years really do define such a massive evolutionary leap. that I think it should prove quite an interesting trip. I’ve already decided that a 2nd part will need to happen at some point (If nothing else just to cover the movies from 1987 to whenever I decide to go through all this again)

In the mean time I hope you enjoy the start of this series and I look forward to seeing it develop over the next few weeks!

(I love this poster…Im about 99% sure this isnt the original theatrical poster…if it even had an original theatrical poster…but there’s just something so unsettling about this one.)

Silent Running (1972)

I have a bit of a soft spot for Silent running truth be told. I’d wanted to watch it literally for years but had never quite been lined up in the right place at the right time to actually sit down and view it. And when the time came I was genuinely blown away at just how emotionally invested I ended up being towards the characters.

I think I sum up my feelings quite nicely in this review and I dont have too much extra to say about it in this post honestly. What I can say is that this movie actually ended up becoming a review here purely for the gag intro at the beginning.

I had a period of about 3 weeks where I became obsessed with the “Astro Farm” theme tune. like…unbearably obsessed…I think it’s a great little theme tune but one of the problems I have is if I get a song in my head the only way to get it out is to listen to it until I get bored of it…and I didnt get bored of this one easily…in fact there’d be multi-hour long sessions where I’d just have it on on a loop until I literally got dull of it.

Anyway; one night I was working through a few movies and I landed on Silent Running while the theme was playing in the background and like chocolate and peanut butter it was a match that made me laugh for a solid 5 minutes (Im easily amused)…had it not been for that brief flash of humour this review literally wouldnt have happened for a good few years…as it stands im really grateful for the cosmic intervention.

 

(That poster makes this movie look WAY more dramatic than it actually is…it’s a corker of a slow burner in all honesty…)

Terminator Woman (1993)

So We have a bit of an oddity here today. Way back in Season 4 I ended up doing a collaboration with a fellow youtuber Raymond Smith. Ray was in the process of doing a month on “Terminator” Knock off movies and we decided it would be pretty cool if he ended his series of Terminator movies and I ended my 4th Season with a cross over collaboration. The first one I’d ever done non the less!

It was huge fun working with Raymond and I really hope we get the chance to work together again in the future ūüôā He’s a fun reviewer and his channels heaving with movie reviews of every possible shape and size! I highly recommend checking him out some time (You can head straight to his youtube channel by clicking Here)

Unfortunately due to copyright issues half of our collaboration was removed from youtube by a company called “Lasso Entertainment”. Naturally this was most heinous and simply would not stand. So while I’ve been backlogging my reviews over on Breach.tv¬† I decided it was time to dust this one off and give it a proper home on this site. Breach arnt quite as anal about upholding the whims and wishes of companies who have little or nothing to do with the movies we talk about and actually seems to understand what “Fair Use” is…so they’re an ace company in my books! anyway; before this turns into a mini rant; I hope you enjoy this not as often seen review! You can get to it by either clicking the link below the picture or by clicking the picture itself! Oh! and before I forget! you can check out the second part of this review for the other film we collaborated on 1989’s “Lady Terminator” By clicking Here

TW

This Poster…man…this bloody poster…

https://www.breach.tv/video/6268/terminator-woman-1993-raymond-reviews-ft-tytd-reviews

V/H/S (2012)

Ugh…Dont make me promote this film more than I already have done! it’s just terrible! (In my opinion) The only thing I can really add is that while I knew there was a sequel (and I have already had offers from people willing to supply me with a copy of V/H/S 2 purely for the sake of doing another one of these) I didnt realise there were another 2 sequels (well…1 sequel and 1 spin offf) out there now also.

It’ll be a cold day in hell before I go back to these movies. I described it in the comments section to one viewer as “Needing to work up the volition for it” Im not an angry reviewer. I dont do things like the Cinema Snob or the AVGN or the Nostalgia critic. And I dont enjoy putting myself through movies I know Im very likely to dislike. I’m always open to giving fresh movies I think i’ll dislike¬† a chance because there is reasonable odds that It might change my mind (At which point im happy to sing it’s praise from the rafters) but movies like V/H/S have already established themselves in my mind as spineless and cheap. So why would I want to see more of that?.

I know in my heart of hearts I will talk about V/H/S 2 at some point…I just hope it’s as long a time as physically possible.

 

(I will say this though. Had the film been any good it’s poster would have been terrifically complimentary.)

Mission for the Dragon (Maegwon) (1979)

Once again I decide to cover a martial arts movie. Once again I am dissapointed and baffled by exactly what the hell im watching. seriously I’ve very quickly learnt with the martial arts genre that the fight scenes rarely live up to the expectations of awesomness that the box art offers. but at the same time total randomness and bizarre asides always keep me hooked as I wonder what on earth is going on.

This films no different. Though the themes of Giallo cinema that run through this are very welcome and a refreshing change to the norm. It’s just a shame it isnt more widely utilised.

The only other thing I have to say is that since this episode was recorded and edited I’ve since found some more evidence to suggest that it’s the IMDB listing that is incorrect and that this film IS in fact a Godfrey Ho movie…Though as I said in the review Im not entirely surprised by that. Still Im always one who will admit a correction when needed!

 

(The VHS cover for this film is MUCH too good for this movie. this movie doesnt deserve it.)

 

Equally once again we have a film where finding decent posters or covers for them is remarkably slim. So here’s a copy of the UK VHS cover scanned in at 3k. hope you like it!:

 

Mission for the Dragon

The Mad Monster (1942)

What we have here is a knock off movie with a heart. Honestly I don’t have much to say about this one that wasn’t already mentioned in my review. I feel what I said was pretty definitive of my opinion on it. It’s alright; Not great…typical 40’s B movie fodder…

What I can say however is that this episode of TYTD Reviews was the first one ever to be edited entirely within Da vinci Resolve. As someone who’s background is predominantly in video editing I take this as a bit of a milestone. to be honest I hadn’t been left with much of a choice really.

I first started by¬†splicing and dubbing¬†video tapes in the early 2000’s, it was fairly short lived and my cuts were terrible but I got the idea in principle. then I moved onto Windows Movie maker (Back when it was actually a functional NLE tool) which was where I learnt the absolute basics of digital editing, then I jumped up to Sony Vegas which I used¬†from about 2008 till about 2012.¬†That¬†software was where I really cut my teeth on video editing.¬†I learnt about multi track video editing, green¬†screening, overlays, masking, the works. It was¬†a real eye opener.

From 2012 until the present day I’ve been editing on Premiere Pro CS6.¬†It was a smooth jump over¬†aided¬†by the fact that I¬†was at that time studying media and film production at university which really let me get to grips with the software in an educational environment. however quite recently CS6 has been quietly nixed. Which means I’m in the market for a new NLE. I don’t get on with Final cut pro X (Snapping can go suck a fuck)¬†Avid is alright if you literally have money to pour into a big fire. Premiere pro has now gone “Live service” meaning at minimum it’s ¬£20 a month for the privilege (Which I wont be taking them up on) and Sony Vegas is Windows exclusive…And so through process of elimination I ended up¬†with Da Vinci Resolve. and y’know what? It’s alright! it does everything I need¬†it¬†to do¬†in a day to day capacity. I don’t know how it’ll fair with more complex¬†video editing but¬†for your bog standard cutting job it’s really pretty solid.¬†And it’s the best price an editing tool can be. Free. it’s a bit fiddly at first but once you know where everything is it’s quite a decent piece of kit. I’m hoping to upgrade my setup¬†in the next 12 months or so and when I do Davinci¬†will probably be¬†where I go. So theres a hot tip for yer!

 

…Anyway.¬†Here’s the mad monster.

 

(There were no decent quality posters for the mad monster (And what there was was only available in landscape) So this ones fan made…I found it on Deviantart…but it looks legit enough)

Emmanuelle (1974)

It’s been ages since I’ve covered an “Adult” film on here…I think in part it’s because reviewing erotic cinema can be a bit of a challenge. The line can be so fine between erotic cinema and just flat out porn that it can be really quite debatable as to whether im making an accurate critical assessment of it. Well that and Youtube has a barmy everytime so much as a nipple flies past the screen (This weeks review has been age restricted out of common decency)

There are several erotic films that I personally hold in very high regard that others consider really quite tacky or just porn. I mention in the video that im a massive Tinto Brass fan. but whereas most critics site his earlier works (Movies such as: The Howl, Salon Kitty or The Key) as prime examples of explorations of relationships and eroticism I personally much prefer his output in the 90’s which is much more bubblegum but with a distinct tinge of nastiness behind it. Not malice for the acts. but malice from misunderstood characters who slowly over the course of the films either learn better and become accepting of the situations in this film. Or get punished for continuing to not accept the scenarios. Movies like “All Ladies Do it“, “Cheeky” and “P.O Box Tinto Brass” are all quite comic in places but equally do have some slightly uncomfortable moments within them that make them challenging and engaging movies.

Emmanuelle was a film that very much put me in mind of Tinto Brass. it kind of feels like the missing link between his more serious 80’s art films and his more “Puff piece” light hearted 90’s films. I really genuinely quite enjoyed this one. the ending was deeply unplesent and the mysoginy sprinkled throughout I could quite happily do without but sans those elements this is quite a reasonable exploration of sexuality. I really do want to get my hands on the sequel just to see what the series did next and I really hope they didnt just go “Full porn” too quickly. Having seen the Emmanuelle TV series (both “2000” and “In Space”) I can confirm that at least by the 1990’s it had gone full softcore porn…Dont get me wrong there were some interesting ideas in there from a science fiction perspective…but a few interesting ideas sprinkled into porn is still porn ultimately. Honestly? I’d be interested in finding this films tipping point. though I feel it may be a while before I get my hands on another one of these.

https://www.breach.tv/embed/de94a383cd258cea331b

[Due to several copyright takedowns by the melts over at “Studiocanal” this episode is now being hosted uncut on Breach.tv – Please click the above link!]

(There are 3-4 posters for this film, but they’re all either in terrible quality or explicit. This one was the only one I could find that was neither of these things…and even then I had to crop it…It’s not my favourite poster i’ve seen though…)

The Intruder Within (1981)

Im on Vacation! it’s only for a few days mind…but i’ve popped my flippers on, donned my factor 5000 sun tan lotion and Im striding out to enjoy the benefits of the british summertime!

With this in mind Im going to leave you with this stinker of a movie till I return! This was one of the first “Big Box” Tapes I picked up when I first started re-collecting VHS tapes. I saw the cover and just knew it would be a film that I’d need to watch/cover on this show. I was looking for tat. and I absolutely found tat here! it stinks!

It never had a cinema release and this movie basically was shown on US television once or twice before it was dumped onto tape and swiftly forgotten for a couple of decades…I wanted to like this one, I really did…but it’s so drab and such a clear knockoff of the Alien and Predator franchise that I just couldnt get anywhere near liking it as much as I could have.

Still that’s just my opinion…watch this weeks review and let me know what you think! In the meantime im off to fill a coconut with rum and to put my feet up in a shady glade! have a great week guys and gals!

(I can see teeth…and a mound of flesh…I still cant exactly decide where this things eyes are…never a good sign when it comes to a poster…It also looks a bit too close to “The Deadly Spawn”…)

Night of the Demons 3: Demon House (1997)

This film was a pile of poo in my opinion and quite honestly I have very little to say about it. Its a bit of a boring film that never quite gets to where it wants to be and barring one or two interesting lighting and directional choices is pretty much a dead weight…theres a reason they never made a “Night of the Demons 4” and this film illustrates pretty cleanly why. Avoid where possible…Where’s the Tylonol?

(Even the poster for this film is lazy because it’s literally just a reshoot of the last “Night of the demons” poster but flipped with a different coloured backdrop and visual gag…this film doesnt deserve a legitimate write up…lazy.)